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On 3/23/2020 at 8:58 PM, LittleMe Jewell said:

I actually laughed out loud - first time in a few days. 

Denver has issued the 'stay at home' order, which was not really unexpected.  It is the typical version that we have here in the States - if you are not essential personnel working then you need to stay home unless you are going out for essential stuff like groceries, medications, etc.  Many of the other areas around here that have done similar things have specified that liquor stores and marijuana stores are classified as 'essential' - just like grocery stores.  However, for Denver, liquor & marijuana stores apparently are NOT on the list of essential services and thus they must all close down by 5:00 pm tomorrow evening.  My husband just got a bunch of IMs from his team members that live downtown wanting to let him know they were taking a short break to hit the liquor store, hopefully before it becomes a madhouse tonight.

The part I laughed out loud at was finding out that the other areas around here that have issued the 'stay at home' order actually classified the liquor and marijuana stores as essential.

I laughed at your post, LittleMe. There is no doubt in my mind though that liquor comes at the very top of the list of essential items for every member of our government!  (Marijuana though - frowning in the UK way here.) 

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1 minute ago, Beth Macbain said:

@Seicher Rae Forgive me if this is insensitive as I don't know the full nature of your disabilities, but have you considered looking at some freelance work you can do online for a little extra cash? I've looked into it a little bit myself, but not enough to really be knowledgeable about it, or if it's possible to get paid under-the-table so it doesn't push you over the insane poverty line. 

Almost at the exact same time that I was cleared to received SSDI payments for disability, my disability caused me to fall head first down a short flight of stairs. I severely effed up my left arm, which required a total elbow replacement. I also broke my wrist and forearm. I was lucky, because had my left arm not caught my fall AND protected my face, my face first landing probably would have killed me. My original disability is for the inability to walk well or for more than a few steps, thanks to injuries that didn't get proper treatment due to not having health insurance AND because I have clinical depression and PTSD. Yay, I'm a two-fer? 

Before I broke my arm my intent was to look into work from home, online work. I do have skills. I have been a good, working citizen, etc. After breaking the arm, well... the need for a one-armed "typist" is fairly low. :/  My arm has not healed well in that it still hurts and I can't straighten it entirely (about 20 degrees short), but according to the orthopedist it is ok. According to my PCP it is typical for that kind of injury, which also included a sh*t ton of soft tissue damage, requiring ligaments to be screwed back to the humerus.

ANYWAY, yeah, I have one working arm and thank god it is my right one. The other arm, the legs, and my brain are just ... crap. :)

I still am interested in work from home things. I'm not much use for things that are often under the table, though. Well, a few people have suggested I become a Dominatrix, so I guess there's that possibility. :) It *is* possible to have an income and still get the SSDI, but there are very strict guidelines and amounts, and I haven't looked into the exact conditions yet because of my arm. Also, in July, there could be a possible change in SSDI amounts, and I'm kind of holding off until then.

And nope, not insensitive at all. Thanks for the query.

I'm glad you are doing better. At least your sister does have a direction to point her towards, both physically and life-situation-wise.

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On 3/23/2020 at 9:00 PM, Arquet said:

Well, today was OK until half an hour ago. The UK is tightening up the lockdown - now we're only allowed to go out for specific purposes, and this will apparently be strictly enforced, same as it is in France or Spain I guess. We're allowed food shopping, and outdoor exercise, but I've no idea if there's a limitation on time/ distance. I was expecting it, and I understand why it's being done, and hopefully it'll have the desired effect, and it's probably the only way to slow down the virus, and... and... but I'm still finding it hard to deal with at the minute. Ah well. I just wanted to vent a little bit.

So we'll see how it goes tomorrow (I need to get some fresh food...)

 

Isn't it very weird so far here in the UK? I am taking my usual exercise, the 1.6 mile walk between my home and that of my brother's. I cannot go back to living with him full-time because for sure the emergency services would be called out to clear the shards of us within a couple of weeks, and it's good that Boris is allowing us to get out for exercise.  

But the people I would normally pass on my walk between both places are mostly not greeting me with cheery hellos but are crossing over the street to maintain the two metres of distance. I still smile, wave, say hello, but this virus has made people act in very weird ways. But I am not offended - I like not having to engage in long conversations with some of these people, who have become quite clingy and needy - we all need to keep our distances if this virus is to stop from spreading.

How are you for toilet paper?

3am has been a good time for picking up Sainsbury's online slots bizarrely - to anyone in the UK this might be helpful - the three weeks calendar is usually completely blanked out, and then there have been a bunch of late availability slots for two days from whatever today is (if that makes any sense - losing my command of the English language as I have a head full of b*ll*cks right now really). So I guess the people who have been booking a time slot every single day and getting every member of their family to do the same thing, just suddenly must drop them all when they've selected the one slot they actually need. 

And the Co-op stores have staggered deliveries, so queuing first thing in the morning isn't the best way to go. I've been calling into one after 3pm and getting toilet rolls, bread, milk. Three cheers for the Co-op.

 

Edited by Marigold Devin
metres miles not the same !!!! Miles it was. Miles !!!!
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7 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:

Well, a few people have suggested I become a Dominatrix, so I guess there's that possibility.

YAS... lol! Strange times such as these cause us to be inventive! 

This made me giggle a lot so thank you for that!

Edited by Beth Macbain
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On 3/23/2020 at 9:22 PM, Elena Core said:

Sure you will be ready. The UK health system is a powerful one.

I am from Spain, so you can imagine...

The NHS (national health service) in the UK is brilliant. We all pay into it, via national insurance and tax on absolutely everything, so it is far from free, but it does mean now that it is more than over-stretched.

It was announced on the news today that since an appeal went out just yesterday for volunteers to help out more than 170,000 people have signed up. They are needed to take medicines and food out to vulnerable people who are isolating themselves in our communities, to prevent any more from needing to be in hospital. With a lot of companies closing for the duration and staff being laid off, this really has restored my faith in human nature.

At first a lot of what we saw on TV was the fight for toilet rolls and the hysterical panic buying, queuing from before stores opened, the sheeple mentality, but as time is going on, people are becoming more rational, and that 'wartime spirit' the UK was always famous for, seems to be coming back to the fore. 

Hopefully the world will become a better place, but not before, very sadly, we've gone through much sadness. We ARE unfortunately going to lose so many wonderful people, and have to attend many funerals. I am bracing myself, and don't mean to be extra negative, but I prefer to be prepared. The COVID-19 situation is the most shocking I have ever lived through, an unseen enemy trying to get in through our personal doors. I have extra admiration for my ancestors, who lived through wars and hardships.  

Edited by Marigold Devin
shpeling errir
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On 3/24/2020 at 12:21 AM, Seicher Rae said:

I woke up this morning with the Kenny Loggin's song "I'm alright" as an earworm. For a grumpy, misanthropic depressive, that's rather odd. Today went well. Then, by accident, as I was scrolling Facebook a little while ago, I happened upon NPR's live streaming of the POTUS's news briefing. This isn't the thread to get political. Those who have read me elsewhere have a drift of how I feel about the current political situation. I only caught the last part, to learn that we're going to build "the best" hospitals (like that is going to either help or happen tomorrow and meanwhile our healthworkers don't have PPE). We're gonna build that wall, because: Coronavirus. ? WHAT? He has no regrets about anything he's said or done regarding the pandemic because he's a forward thinker. Oh, and there's lot of space at the FL beaches, so you know, closing them, well, the Gov. is doing a great job, but there's lots of space at the beaches and there are parks there.

Oh.Em.Gee. We should all be so frickin' terrified that this is our leadership through this. I. Can't. Even. ... I mean. ...  Words fail. 

I'm back to really, really being depressed, and anxious, and angry, and scared, and so not "I'm alright." I wish I had never seen that FB stream...

image.png.ed36d99c8abce22da99a2a251450a1cc.png

Also not wishing to get political, but feeling very much the same way. I was not at all panicking until our unruly-haired leader spoke sternly to us about 'self-isolation'. Being only puppet for others to feed lines to does not help.

Having said that, IF we all do maintain our distances, this ruddy virus will die off.

I am not impressed at one of my particular real life friends though in this moment, who hypocritically shared a post about how important it is to maintain distance from others, but who is intending for his girlfriend to travel up country to stay with him for "as long as she wants". It's more about his 'loins' being fed than being kind and thoughtful and staying distant.

And other friends seem to think they are immune to the virus, as they are just carrying on flitting from friend to friend's houses and is assuming none of said friends have the virus. It just takes one person to have it to spread it along!!! Godfathers - and he is an educated man at that.  So frustrated right now I am. I am not even bending to pet people's dogs, just in case! And when the post or leaflets are delivered through the door, I am leaving them there for as long as possible, because no one knows how long the virus lives outside of the human body!!!!

I don't even want anyone to pass the common cold to me ever again. The last one was pretty awful and inconvenient. 

And Prince Charles has been diagnosed with COVID-19. Is it any wonder. He's another one that just mixes with whoever his advisers think he should be talking to. 

They all need to practice what they bloody well preach and only communicate via video link. Everyone needs to stay right the heck away from the next person. And all shop assistants, like all the medical staff, and taxi drivers, need to be masked up.

Where the eff has all the commonsense gone?

Soz, hijacked. Needed a rant.

We're all in this together, my lovely Seicher. And one day, hopefully soonest, we can be looking back at these awful times, and just having the normal set of crap knocking us down mentally. We certainly don't need 'educated' college boys to kick us while we're already there.

Edited by Marigold Devin
temporary victim of Mr Gobblede g o o k
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23 hours ago, Matty Luminos said:

I called my boss today to let him know that I am fit to return to work and can do so as scheduled on Thursday. Looks like it's business as usual. I guess I am fortunate that I still have a job at all.

That's fab news, but keep the distances, obviously, and stay well !

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23 hours ago, BelindaN said:

An interesting morning here. First a visit to the local Co-op. They are only allowing about a dozen people in at a time. That's quite good, and because I was quite early, I was only waiting five minutes. So.………..I got some peppers (there were three packs). I got some milk (there were two plastic 2L bottles). I got some self raising flour (there were two bags).

I only got one of each of the above.

I got mushrooms, rocket leaves, and a loaf of wholemeal bread. There was loads of bread. I got two tins of prunes. But no eggs and no dried yeast. No broccoli. 

Later on a walk I called in at a "corner shop" and got a dozen eggs (there were only three dozen on the shelves). Yeast no longer exists although look on line and you can buy some for between £30 and £70 for a pack. I'm not that desperate for home baked bread. Here's the irony. I have flour but no yeast. My daughter has yeast but no flour. She's 40 miles away.

My mother is in hospital, but I can't visit after the lockdown, and they don't answer the phone, so I must wait for them to ring me.

Earlier I met the installer at Mothers house so they could fit a pendant emergency alarm for when she gets home. I waited outside while this was done.

So quite a productive day overall. But my mood remains melancholy.

 

You're doing good and achieving loads. YAY again for the Co-op. They have been brilliant in my locality at making sure people don't act selfishly. Their early morning OAP/vulnerable/disabled hour has been a great success, and people have been shopping while distancing (although this still baffles me a little bit as we're all breathing the same air :(

Can you imagine how the phones are ringing off their hooks in all the hospitals and doctors' surgeries right now?  You and I and all in this thread certainly have the sense to know when we need to let the professionals get on with what they need to do without being hampered by phone calls. 

 

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20 minutes ago, Marigold Devin said:

And Prince Charles has been diagnosed with COVID-19. Is it any wonder. He's another one that just mixes with whoever his advisers think he should be talking to. 

Including the Queen last week.  I bet William is holding his breath right now 😂

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23 hours ago, Cindy Evanier said:

I am feeling a bit Monty Python today.. Always look on the bright side of life.   It was 16 c and sunny so I spent the afternoon home schooling in the garden where we took plant cuttings and potted them up, put up another bird box (albeit slightly wonky), filled all the bird feeders with the last of my supplies and cleaned out the ponds.  (When I say "we"  I instructed and let the child do the hard graft 😇)   He is currently doing an hour's reading of Harry Potter while I get a coffee and a forum scan.  I might feel completely different later because that's life 🎢

Oh heck, Cindy, I nearly choked on my coffee when I read you were feeling a bit Monty Python until I read a little further along, because I had only just been told to watch something by a friend that was from Monty Python's Meaning of Life, because we'd been talking about the school sex education we'd had (rather a long time ago) and how unhelpful it had been. 

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21 hours ago, Panteleeva said:

Sometimes i watched my college exx classmates social media pages to see how are they doing. Most of them are happily married, and yesterday i saw that my ex classmate Ksi gave birth to her 2nd kid(girl),pics was really beautiful and i m really happy to see these pics and know they doing good. And i feel like that thing is too far from me and will never happend to me

thoughts-in-the-fog-allison-harris.jpg

Well, sometimes what people put on social media is not the reality, but the reality they want it to be. Be not envious (although it is very natural to be - a human flaw). Your place in society is as important, whether you ever become a partner or a parent or not. 

I want to say more, but it would be too real life and personal and inappropriate, but please believe that you are worthy and worthwhile and one day, without realising how it happened, you will be living in the place and time that you were always born to be in. In the meantime, continue to find pleasure in your lovely photos (I am loving them on the "How does your avatar look today" thread). I am glad you share your feelings here too. 

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I believe in a strong friendships and that i what i had with my Jan. Cant believe we are together for 7 years soon and lived together for 6 years.We even got connection in RL in some messengers,ut now i realized that i feel we loose this connection slowly.Yes he still IMs me with kisses and asks me how i am,but oftenly i was the one who  IMs first.After owner of our home closed his business,we tried to find another home,but Jan seems do not care ,but its ok .Probably he even happy that he is free and it is not as it was before when all our friends knew we live together . Maybe it is just melancholy time ,but i am really scared that this friendship will slowly dissapear and he will be alright with that. I do understand he is busy in RL work, but now he started to say that more often than before,as it is just very good excuse.I do not want to discuss it with him now,i am sure he will think:here we go again,he complains.etc

 

 

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I don't know whether to laugh at my little Charlie or grit my teeth.  Apparently he figured out how to open that closet door all on his own.  It is a bi-fold door and he opened it again this morning and was caught climbing around on the shelf that usually holds the catnip supply.  Guess I'll now have to find a new spot for that when the new batch gets delivered.

If nothing else, his antics help me smile when otherwise I just want to scream at the idiots out there.  I'm not sure I want to leave my house for any reason for at least a month now - well, other than going out into my own back yard.

 

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18 hours ago, Beth Macbain said:

You all help me keep my sanity. You really do.

This blood dread and anger all day has a reason now - my sister is being released from the psych hospital today and I feel quite strongly that she isn't ready, and equally strongly that I cannot and will not be her caretaker. And that makes me feel like a big meanie, but I already did my duty being the caretaker for both my parents and giving up a good portion of my life for that. I'm freaking done with it. I didn't get married or have kids for a reason. I take care of myself. My sister has been married for 45 years and has a 40 year old daughter. It's THEIR job, not mine. 

Sorry, I'm ranting. I've already ranted to my family and they know where I stand on this. I love her, and will be there for her, but I won't be some pillar of strength for her when I need to be one for myself.

Freaking family, amirite?

It does seem rather soon to be releasing your sister - and you are absolutely right to be standing your ground at having done your duty already.  

There is something about certain members of society (including sometimes our own families) who seem to assume that when we make a conscious decision not to be married and have children that we are therefore free to be put upon. Don't get me wrong, I think we all do our bit in society (often without people seeing what role we have to play as we go about it quietly, not expecting a medal for our efforts). 

When my brother had a stroke, it fell to me to look after him. Some people subsequently said I was amazing, that they couldn't do what I do, but it just fell to me, and I was happy enough to do it, believing he would get better one day.  Seventeen years down the line and oh how I wish ... sometimes I wish awful things ... BUT I am glad I was able to do it, and I ALWAYS now advise anyone who might be finding themselves in the similar situation of having to give up work or inevitably give up their lives to look after a loved one not to do so. 

You are absolutely doing the right thing - you know it, but just in case you weaken, you cannot be all things to all people, and do have to remain strong yourself. 

 

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15 hours ago, BelindaN said:

Family can sometimes be a boat anchor. I'm facing the same dilemma with my mother. We did the whole care thing up to 14th Feb. Everything. Then she had a fall. Hospital tried to get her home after 3 days. That became two weeks. They sent her home with carers, but a week later she's back in with a chest infection. A week later she's home. A week latet after two falls she's back in hospital, and they are finally thinking she needs 24 hour care. That can't be me. Even though she's maybe 7 stone, I can't hold her up. So now we wait for the decision. They need her out of hospital because of the covid situation, but if they send her home, in a week she'll be back in. That alone is super stressful, because every time the phone rings, it's something about my mother. Hospital, carers, social services, district nurse. 

It takes me to the edge, and it wouldn't take much to tip me over, especially as things are.  

 

Stay strong BelindaN, and see what I said to Beth in above post.

You love your mother. You would be doing her a disservice if you did decide to become her full-time carer. She currently needs that hospital bed, so do not be emotionally blackmailed by terms like "bed blocking" or any other phrase that I sometimes get to hear about.  It does sound like she needs to be full time in a proper nursing home now.  

You've done good for her, and you are doing good for her. Be kind to yourself and stay well! Sending you mental strength if that is possible. 

Edited by Marigold Devin
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15 hours ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

I'm actually getting pissed at what appears to be too many folks not taking this very seriously. 

It's one thing for the top dude to say all the crap that he says - we all know that he's just a blowhard anyway, saying whatever just happens to pop into his mind at any given moment without bother to think first and often saying the opposite sometime later.  But there are still people in places like New York and California that are totally ignoring the social distancing.  Heck, in New York they are actually going to start issuing tickets because people apparently just don't give a damn about others.  There are pictures of folks out playing basketball and soccer games. On top of that, there is actually a college in Virginia that is allowing the kids to return to campus.  WTH!?!?!  If they were basically locked down there and not allowed to leave campus once they get there, then I'm okay with it -- but we all know that won't happen.

 

There has been talk in the UK about police having powers to fine people £30 if they are found outdoors without good reason.  I feel sorry for the police having to waste their time yet again on the brain deadening stupidity of some people in society. 

I feel like it should have been like musical chairs. The moment the governments shouted "LOCK DOWN" (and it should have been wayyyyy sooner), we should all have been completely and utterly made to stick to that. There is far too much movement at the moment still. 

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7 hours ago, Cindy Evanier said:

It's only 7 am and I am steaming mad right now.  I posted on my RL facebook in response to something in my generally jokey way about just receiving a delivery of my new PJ's so I am good to go.  Innocent off the cuff reply that was in keeping with the other responders posting about them having wine, or chocs or whatever.  My ex-sister-in-law makes a snarky response about me not having a job or I wouldn't be video-conferencing in my PJs.  I would love a job.  I would love to be able to be fit enough to walk my own dog even.  She knows full well that part of my life was abruptly stolen from me 5 years ago with this illness.  I can say all that to you guys here and I thank you all for that but my response to her was a *you aren't getting to me ****** reply of..... oh I would happily accept video calls from anyone who wants to see my new PJs once I finish home school for today :)   I think after that I will get all glammed up later, put on my PJs, full face of makeup (if I can remember how)  and post a selfie of myself sitting feet up on my desk.  

Like @Seicher Rae  I am scrolling on some threads that are making me so mad.  One in particular makes me want to reach in the screen and shake someone.  I have written and deleted so many times but my responses would get me banned.  

The sun is up already.  It's going to be 16c  again (56 F)  So I am planning to be outside as much as possible doing lessons with the boy.  

Sister-in-law is obviously jealous, and isn't jealousy so stupid to have really. I mean, most of us do have that human flaw, but she obviously just would love to be in her PJs, but she certainly would not like all the rest that comes with the reason you are at home nowadays.  I think you do marvellously, with your attitude, and how you deal with life.  Please try not to let her get to you. She is not worth it. 

I am in my PJs currently - a disney top and tatty black trousery ones - but have to go to late shift at my brother's today, so have an absolutely clear conscience about having some me-time. 

We all need it! 

 

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3 hours ago, Rhonda Huntress said:

I woke up at 4:00 AM with a massive headache.  Yay Spring Migraines!  Coffee and aspirin have brought it down to manageable at least.

Today it is supposed to get to 90°F (32°c).  It's a little early to start getting this hot but this year I am not complaining at all.  I wish I could share the warm weather with everyone.

In other news, Texas Lt Gov Dan Patrick says the elderly should die for the good of the economy.
Seriously, he said that.

....

Even so, I am in a good place. I have more hugs to offer.

164020-Sweet-Bunny-Hug.jpg

 

Dear Goshalmighty - let's hope Karma heard Lt Gov Dan Patrick say that - what a total a-hat. Seriously, what is wrong with some people. 

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7 hours ago, Beth Macbain said:

 

I still love you.  This thread has become a lifeline for so many of us. I know your intentions were good even if you may have bungled the execution. Guess what, we all screw up.  Communication is an imperfect tool, but it's what we have. 

 

How to Forgive an Abusive Parent: 10 Steps (with Pictures)

Edited by kali Wylder
cuz reasons
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1 hour ago, Klaineanderson said:

I believe in a strong friendships and that i what i had with my Jan. Cant believe we are together for 7 years soon and lived together for 6 years.We even got connection in RL in some messengers,ut now i realized that i feel we loose this connection slowly.Yes he still IMs me with kisses and asks me how i am,but oftenly i was the one who  IMs first.After owner of our home closed his business,we tried to find another home,but Jan seems do not care ,but its ok .Probably he even happy that he is free and it is not as it was before when all our friends knew we live together . Maybe it is just melancholy time ,but i am really scared that this friendship will slowly dissapear and he will be alright with that. I do understand he is busy in RL work, but now he started to say that more often than before,as it is just very good excuse.I do not want to discuss it with him now,i am sure he will think:here we go again,he complains.etc

 

 

It is a melancholy time, and our minds are being skewed with all the extra information we are having to take on board currently. People are finding their jobs are changing, and the things they are needing to do take them away from their normal routines. Real life marriages will break because of pressure of this virus. There are all kinds of side effects, 

BUT do not lose the lines of communication between yourself and your Jan. Even if it is one simple message again to tell him "ich bin immer hier" - I am always/still here. 

These times will pass, and normality will return to us. But if the friendship does fade away - and there really is no need to fear this - someone else will come along. This is what is meant to be. We have to be patient, fill our time and thoughts with what we can do to get us all through this current situation. And also to be kinder to ourselves, do something each day that makes US as individuals happy, to prevent us over-thinking and imagining things are going a negative way.

Yes easier said than done.

Today my weapon of choice is actually this form thread coupled with a mixed CD of Genesis tracks and a bubble bath.  Taking care of the little things will help us all to deal with the bigger things.

Jan could very well be thinking about you right now, wondering how to convey to you they are sorry not to be closer right now. 

 

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1 hour ago, Beth Macbain said:

Y'all... I did a bad thing.

Last night, I messaged someone from this thread and asked them to tone down their posts in this thread, and I'm afraid I hurt them badly. This is someone we all know and love, and I would never, ever intentionally hurt them. 

I was just trying to make sure we all have this place to vent and be as dark as we feel like we need to be. That is NOT to say that hugs and suggestions and encouragement aren't welcome here. 

I'm afraid I bumbled things very badly, and I am so incredibly sorry. What I was trying to say and explain didn't come through at all like I meant them to. 

I really screwed up. 😪

I've had sleep.

I've had coffee.

You may be wanting me to tone down today!!

We all bumble it up sometimes. (And my vague memory tells me you and I had a mini moment a few pages ago on this thread - but we both got over it.)

You sadly can't unsay something, you just have to live with it, but if it's any consolation, our lovely post writer hopefully will be on the Self Care thread and others. She needs to give out her love, needs our love back. I sent her a private message so I hope she knows she is not banished from the forums altogether! 

Certainly there is no good in beating ourselves up about saying something that has been misconstrued or otherwise. As long as nothing is said or done out of malice then karma won't come back with a kick ten times harder. I believe you have a big and good heart Beth, and just didn't gauge a situation well - you didn't do a bad thing. It just came out a bit bad. :( 

Edited by Marigold Devin
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Well... 

I now have a virtual meeting in the morning with my boss and the head of HR. There are going to be "temporary adjustments to our schedules" meaning my hours are going to be cut, and I'm both terrified and furious. I don't know any of the details yet, so I don't even know what I need to be terrified and furious about. 

I have six weeks of banked paid leave, and I'm desperately hoping they allow me to use that. And I'm desperately hoping I don't lose my insurance. I'm just sitting here stunned now. I honestly didn't expect this. From peeking at my boss's calendar, it looks like this is going to be happening to everyone below director level, at least on my time. 

I'm scared now.

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