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Beth Macbain

How are you feeling today?

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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, Rhonda Huntress said:

Would it make you feel better or worse if I tell you that ammo is hard to find?

 

My husband does his own.  He says we are fine even if there really is a zombie apocalypse.

 

 

After my true LOL earlier because I found out that alcohol and marijuana were considered 'essentials' in most areas around here, I got my second full on LOL because, after there was a run on the liquor stores right after the Denver shutdown announcement, Denver has now added liquor and marijuana stores to their list of 'essentials'.  Apparently, the run on the stores, so that people could stock up before tomorrow evening, was causing a 'social gathering and distancing' problem.

 

At least there are some things in this whole craziness going on right now that are truly making me laugh.  Given all of that laughing, I am actually doing pretty good today.

 

Edited by LittleMe Jewell
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I woke up this morning with the Kenny Loggin's song "I'm alright" as an earworm. For a grumpy, misanthropic depressive, that's rather odd. Today went well. Then, by accident, as I was scrolling Facebook a little while ago, I happened upon NPR's live streaming of the POTUS's news briefing. This isn't the thread to get political. Those who have read me elsewhere have a drift of how I feel about the current political situation. I only caught the last part, to learn that we're going to build "the best" hospitals (like that is going to either help or happen tomorrow and meanwhile our healthworkers don't have PPE). We're gonna build that wall, because: Coronavirus. ? WHAT? He has no regrets about anything he's said or done regarding the pandemic because he's a forward thinker. Oh, and there's lot of space at the FL beaches, so you know, closing them, well, the Gov. is doing a great job, but there's lots of space at the beaches and there are parks there.

Oh.Em.Gee. We should all be so frickin' terrified that this is our leadership through this. I. Can't. Even. ... I mean. ...  Words fail. 

I'm back to really, really being depressed, and anxious, and angry, and scared, and so not "I'm alright." I wish I had never seen that FB stream...

image.png.ed36d99c8abce22da99a2a251450a1cc.png

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I'm excited, I'm nervous but overall I'm pretty good today.  In few hours I'm become a wife, but that going to be really good and happy day for me; yes I will post picture in relevant thread for y'all! :) 

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34 minutes ago, MrsSeren said:

I'm excited, I'm nervous but overall I'm pretty good today.  In few hours I'm become a wife, but that going to be really good and happy day for me; yes I will post picture in relevant thread for y'all! :) 

👰 congrats! 

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Just now, Fauve Aeon said:

👰 congrats! 

This may surprise a few but I chose not to wear white.

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Hmmm, my husband is suggesting that I might not be totally okay today after all -- because, as he says, I'm doing a lot of laughing, in a maniacal way, about that liquor / marijuana store stuff.  

 

Maybe I should just go watch some TV and stop reading all the news about this stuff for a while.

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6 hours ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

Hmmm, my husband is suggesting that I might not be totally okay today after all -- because, as he says, I'm doing a lot of laughing, in a maniacal way, about that liquor / marijuana store stuff.  

 

Maybe I should just go watch some TV and stop reading all the news about this stuff for a while.

You made me laugh too.  

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Posted (edited)

It's a sunny day here, and there are more small birds coming to feed on the seed I put out for them.  I feel so grateful when I see them; it's a taste of the countryside. :) 

 

Edited by Garnet Psaltery
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I called my boss today to let him know that I am fit to return to work and can do so as scheduled on Thursday. Looks like it's business as usual. I guess I am fortunate that I still have a job at all.

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I'm feeling exhausted today, as I didn't sleep worth a damn last night.  The idea of diving back in to those online class videos is super unappealing right now.

*sigh*

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An interesting morning here. First a visit to the local Co-op. They are only allowing about a dozen people in at a time. That's quite good, and because I was quite early, I was only waiting five minutes. So.………..I got some peppers (there were three packs). I got some milk (there were two plastic 2L bottles). I got some self raising flour (there were two bags).

I only got one of each of the above.

I got mushrooms, rocket leaves, and a loaf of wholemeal bread. There was loads of bread. I got two tins of prunes. But no eggs and no dried yeast. No broccoli. 

Later on a walk I called in at a "corner shop" and got a dozen eggs (there were only three dozen on the shelves). Yeast no longer exists although look on line and you can buy some for between £30 and £70 for a pack. I'm not that desperate for home baked bread. Here's the irony. I have flour but no yeast. My daughter has yeast but no flour. She's 40 miles away.

My mother is in hospital, but I can't visit after the lockdown, and they don't answer the phone, so I must wait for them to ring me.

Earlier I met the installer at Mothers house so they could fit a pendant emergency alarm for when she gets home. I waited outside while this was done.

So quite a productive day overall. But my mood remains melancholy.

 

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I am feeling a bit Monty Python today.. Always look on the bright side of life.   It was 16 c and sunny so I spent the afternoon home schooling in the garden where we took plant cuttings and potted them up, put up another bird box (albeit slightly wonky), filled all the bird feeders with the last of my supplies and cleaned out the ponds.  (When I say "we"  I instructed and let the child do the hard graft 😇)   He is currently doing an hour's reading of Harry Potter while I get a coffee and a forum scan.  I might feel completely different later because that's life 🎢

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We can usually count on our pets to cheer us up and put a smile on our face and this morning was no exception.  I heard something crash to the floor in the family room and went to check.  I found the kitty rolling around on the floor in a huge pile of catnip.  My husband didn't get the storage closet door fully closed when he was last in there.  One of my cats knows that the catnip is kept in there, up on the 4th shelf, and apparently Charlie decided to climb up there and help himself - to the entire bag (a sandwich sized baggie that was pretty darn full).

So, while still a bit tired, I'm at least in a good mood now.

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I'm feeling angry right now. I'm really angry that so many people are looking at worst case scenarios and the negativity is getting to me. 

I know it's different all over, but I live in a VERY red state and even the reddist of the red areas are coming together (separately) to take care of each other. I absolutely have to belief - to cling to the belief - that this is bringing out the very best in humanity and not the worst. Sure, there are always exceptions, but for the most part I'm seeing people being wonderful to each other. 

If we all fall into a pit of hopelessness and despair, what is that going to get us? I guess I'm sort of in the buck up and suck up part of this mess. Here we are. This is real, it's happening, it's not going away - how can we make it better for each other? What are our plans for when we come out the other side of this? 

Be worried, be afraid, but I want to start making plans for two months down the road... one month down the road... Being locked down isn't sustainable for, I think, much more than a month. 

I don't know... I'm just rambling. Maybe I'm wrong, but I can see the other side when we get back to living - and I want to shake others and force them to see it, too, but I know it's not my place to do that. 

I want us (humanity, not this particular thread... this is venting!) to lift each other up, not drag each other down. 

 

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Posted (edited)
31 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

 

I want us (humanity, not this particular thread... this is venting!) to lift each other up, not drag each other down. 

 

On that note, in the US, we are being encouraged to participate in The Great American Takeout today.  Order takeout or delivery from one of the restaurants around you that have had to stop dine-in service.  Many of them are open for delivery/takeout and need support to help them stay in business.

Edited by LittleMe Jewell
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Posted (edited)

Sometimes i watched my college exx classmates social media pages to see how are they doing. Most of them are happily married, and yesterday i saw that my ex classmate Ksi gave birth to her 2nd kid(girl),pics was really beautiful and i m really happy to see these pics and know they doing good. And i feel like that thing is too far from me and will never happend to me

thoughts-in-the-fog-allison-harris.jpg

Edited by Panteleeva
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2 hours ago, BelindaN said:

I have flour but no yeast.

You have everything you need to start a sourdough culture. There's wild yeast in abundance all over your house, you just need to give it - and the equally-ubiquitous lactobacillus that makes the other half of the deal - a place to live. Ideally you will be using the same flour for this as you will for baking your eventual bread. You start with 100g flour, 100g (room-temp or slightly warm) water, for a 100% hydration mix. Stir the flour into the water, stick it in a clean jar, cover it in a cloth and leave it on a shelf in a place that's out of direct sunlight and won't get too hot or cold. Over the next few days, daily mix up another 50g flour and 50g water and stir it into the jar's contents. Within 2-3 days you'll see bubbles forming and it will start smelling yeasty. Once it's at that stage, its "daily feed" becomes combining (in a fresh jar) stirred-up mix, flour and water in a 2:1:1 ratio by weight, steadily working up until you have about 600g in total of active culture, still at 100% hydration.

Baking day! Work out your percentages for the final dough hydration knowing that your culture is 100% hydrated. My everyday sourdough is a 66% hydration dough so for a couple of kilos of dough, enough for two really good-sized rustic loaves I use 1005g flour, 400g of starter and 595g of water. 5-10g of salt according to your preference. It will be a slower rise than commercial yeast but you can judge it well enough by eye and feel as it proves.

This leaves 200g of starter in the jar. Combine this in a fresh jar with another 100g each of flour and water. Leave it overnight and then stick it in your fridge (remember that whatever you use to close the jar it can;t be airtight - personally I use a couple of thicknesses of foil and a rubber band). It will go dormant and will keep perfectly happily for up to a couple of weeks without feeding. For longer periods you will need to refresh and feed it or do other stuff that lets it keep longer.

When you next want to bake, take it out of the fridge first thing on the day before. Let it warm up to room temp and feed it with 100g flour and 100g water (yes, you're back to 600g total again) The following day it should have picked up activity again and you can use another 400g of it for another 2 kilos of bread, leaving 200g to refeed, store and refresh just like last time.

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2 hours ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

We can usually count on our pets to cheer us up and put a smile on our face and this morning was no exception.  I heard something crash to the floor in the family room and went to check.  I found the kitty rolling around on the floor in a huge pile of catnip.  My husband didn't get the storage closet door fully closed when he was last in there.  One of my cats knows that the catnip is kept in there, up on the 4th shelf, and apparently Charlie decided to climb up there and help himself - to the entire bag (a sandwich sized baggie that was pretty darn full).

So, while still a bit tired, I'm at least in a good mood now.

A sandwich baggie full of leaf, huh?  You sure that was catnip?

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Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, BelindaN said:

I have flour but no yeast. My daughter has yeast but no flour. She's 40 miles away.

 

May I suggest that now is the time to experiment with sourdough? That uses the natural yeasts and you don't need to add any dried. It will probably be a week before you can bake, but... just a thought. :)

ETA Ah, I posted this before I realized Da5id beat me to it. But still... sourdough is the best! 

Edited by Seicher Rae
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I haven't even looked outside until just a few minutes ago. Sometime it snowed. My car is under at least 6 inches. Huh. Who knew.

The coronavirus has effed up a new SL relationship that was showing great promise and I'm incredibly depressed about that. Times he had available for us have been taken over by real life family because school is out and he has custody. There is no time now for us. While I understand that... sigh. I'm always socially isolated and online is my relief, now that is weirdly being taken away because of other people staying at their homes? sigh. So... today: depressed aka "normal."

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I am now officially; Mrs Seren Stormdragon and so freaking happy so now my SL name is accurate once again! :D 

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3 hours ago, BelindaN said:

. . .  Here's the irony. I have flour but no yeast. . . . 

 

Do you have beer?  You can always make beer bread which doesn't require yeast at all.

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4 hours ago, BelindaN said:

...Here's the irony. I have flour but no yeast. My daughter has yeast but no flour. She's 40 miles away.

 

 

Soda bread, maybe, if you have baking soda? Though I think you might need yogurt. 

Also, your daughter might be able to post you the yeast (if it comes in those small packages)? 

Nah... sourdough is probably the way to go.   😃

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2 hours ago, Cinnamon Mistwood said:

A sandwich baggie full of leaf, huh?  You sure that was catnip?

When I get me some people catnip, I'll get it in cookie or brownie form.

 

Since we had to sweep up and toss all the kitty's stash, I ordered another huge canister from Amazon.   He just has to wait a week for delivery - while people catnip might be classified as an essential product, apparently Amazon does not consider kitty catnip to be essential.  Poor kitty.

xD

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You all help me keep my sanity. You really do.

This blood dread and anger all day has a reason now - my sister is being released from the psych hospital today and I feel quite strongly that she isn't ready, and equally strongly that I cannot and will not be her caretaker. And that makes me feel like a big meanie, but I already did my duty being the caretaker for both my parents and giving up a good portion of my life for that. I'm freaking done with it. I didn't get married or have kids for a reason. I take care of myself. My sister has been married for 45 years and has a 40 year old daughter. It's THEIR job, not mine. 

Sorry, I'm ranting. I've already ranted to my family and they know where I stand on this. I love her, and will be there for her, but I won't be some pillar of strength for her when I need to be one for myself.

Freaking family, amirite?

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