How are you feeling today?

[LittleMe Jewell]

2 hours ago, Seicher Rae said:

I have to wear "cheaters" to read and work on the computer because I'm farsighted and it gets worse with age (not that I'm aging). About five months ago I started getting headaches, and I don't get headaches. I figured out it was probably due to eye strain and I bought a pair of blue light filtering glasses. They worked! I've read that they don't, really, but I've read that they do, too. My experience, real or not!, was they did help quite a bit.

I do have progressive bifocals for daily wear and a special set of progressive bifocals just for computer work (the top portion is for computer monitor distance rather than far away).  I also have a pair of blue light filtering glasses that I can wear over my regular ones, but they are often too dark.  However, my computer glasses do have an FL-41 tint, which is a light rose color, that is supposed to be good for people with blepharospasm - and it does help a bit. It would probably help better if my blepharospasm-like eye issue was truly blepharospasm, but per a top specialist in the field, it isn't.

 

3 hours ago, Seicher Rae said:

I have rosacea, and because I can't get anything like a normal person, good or bad, I am in the small percentage of people who has eye problems with rosacea. My green eyes look very Christmasy with the whites that turn red. And they water when I get the least bit stressed (good or bad) and so I have to explain to people that I'm not actually crying. Oy. Eye problems suck.

Luckily, even though my eyes will sometimes water a lot, it seldom gets so bad that it looks like I'm crying.  I don't think I'd want to have to explain that on top of everything else. Yep, eye problems suck.  I really feel for you.  *hugs*

[Lolita Uldarmann]

7 hours ago, Seicher Rae said:

I'm freaking out. My apartment move is on the 12th. My friend from Canada is coming down late on the 10th. I have sooooooo much work to do! Because of my disability everything I do now is fifteen times slower than it should be. Plus, ok, I'll admit it, I've been procrastinating and whining, "I dun wanna!" I sat myself down last night to do some adulting. I came up with a plan. I can do this!!

Annnnnnd, right on cue, last night in a stupid "it can only happen to me" thing, when I was rolling over onto my left side to sleep my left leg didn't get the message, rolled funny, there was a loud CRACK on my knee and now it is all swollen and hurts like heck, still. I still have to do the work, so now, early in the morning, I'm stoned on pain meds so that I can work. This will, of course, slow me down further, and I hope I don't lose my balance and ... FML.

I wish moving in RL was like moving in SL. click click click poof "packed" (TELEPORT move to new place) click move rotate click move rotate click move rotate "done" 

On the plus side: Ok, I am stoned so yay! Stoned packing and cleaning is more fun than sober packing and cleaning. And the new, tentative D to my s is so far quite wonderful.

Adulting is so hard! I hate doing it too. Hope your knee gets better soon! 

[Lolita Uldarmann]

Today has been a busy day! I've been painting and cleaning, but man, that's so boring! I'm feeling a bit bored and lonely.

[BelindaN]

Another day of stress here. Not only full of cold and feeling under the weather, but received a call at 8.30 from mothers carer. Went over - district nurse there and concerned enough to phone for ambulance again, so mother back in hospital with a chest infection and water infection. Very impressed with district nurse who looked young enough to be my daughter. So the pressure continues.

[Stranger Hoxley]

12 hours ago, BelindaN said:

Another day of stress here. Not only full of cold and feeling under the weather, but received a call at 8.30 from mothers carer. Went over - district nurse there and concerned enough to phone for ambulance again, so mother back in hospital with a chest infection and water infection. Very impressed with district nurse who looked young enough to be my daughter. So the pressure continues.

I wish you a lot of strength to come through all of this. Hugs you tight Belinda

[Ivanova Shostakovich]

   Tired. I'm up to give my daughter a ride to her work. It's early enough that my regular coffee shack won't even be open yet on my way back. And we lost an hour.

   I don't work today of course, so when I get back, I'll be faced with the dilemma of either going back to sleep for a bit, or just plowing on. I could make some breakfast, brew a coffee, and start my day. I might be a little loopy during Breakfast Club.

   I guess we'll see what happens.

[Marigold Devin]

13 hours ago, BelindaN said:

Another day of stress here. Not only full of cold and feeling under the weather, but received a call at 8.30 from mothers carer. Went over - district nurse there and concerned enough to phone for ambulance again, so mother back in hospital with a chest infection and water infection. Very impressed with district nurse who looked young enough to be my daughter. So the pressure continues.

The district nurse certainly sounds like a good one, vigilantly acting quickly to get your mother where she needs to be for treatment. Try and get some rest, even if it is just cat naps here and there, don't forget to eat (healthily) (I am a crap example reaching for the comfort food currently - don't do as I do!!). Keep your strength up. 

[Marigold Devin]

How am I feeling today?

I am feeling numbskulled. Lonely. Desperately sad. And maybe I just deserve all of this.  

The last straw was just now, on my little semi-private balcony on the front of my flat, where I was quietly minding my own business, sweeping up debris brought in by last night's high winds.

I was already not in good humour. I have had a more difficult few weeks than usual.

Ongoing care for my brother, whom I have tried to look after for the past 17 years, is just so tiring. What little support we get is hit and miss. And normally I can deal with that. Just not lately, because the ground floor neighbours in both of the flats underneath me have made poor 'lifestyle choices' and one is sexually violent when he has had one too many sherberts, and the other neighbour has just served some time in prison for threatening behaviour, actually bodily harm, and theft.  I am paddling through broken glass whenever I have to enter or leave the building, and the ex-offender (ex haha, ex!!!) had a celebratory party to end all parties a couple of nights ago, and I just cannot sleep at all now.

So I am walking about like a zombie, catching cat naps wherever I can, trying not to resort to sleeping meds, trying to find upbeat things to occupy me, while I have a few hours at my flat and my brother has a district nurse and an agency person in to assist him with a shower, dressing, plonking back in his chair safely.  

Totally not in the mood for people in the 3D world, and the weather being as unpredictable as my moods this day, I cannot bring myself to even walk into the nearby town, so I thought I would compromise and just go out onto my balcony, sweep up the debris caused by last night's high winds.

Then I got numbskulled again, by my next door neighbour.  You know the type, got everything wrong with him, but all of it is self-inflicted. He is just a lazy fat a-hole, goes out on the lash every night, impregnates women as though that is his job on this earth, and then comes on to me like I should be grateful. And usually I tolerate him, humour him, laugh it all off. But not today.  

Not today.

I have shouted so loud, I have hit myself several times on the head for being so stupid as to tolerate all I have tolerated this long.

And I don't feel any better. 

I sent my 'boyfriend' a text message. He always has his phone with him and switched on - even in the cinema - and when we were out on our first date, he couldn't understand why I was so unhappy about his phone and Garmin wristband always reminded him what a busy man and important man he is, but when it comes to just sending me a quick reassuring reply to my text message, or giving me a five minute call, he isn't there for me.

In fact he hasn't been there for me at all. He was obviously just in my imagination. 

He was my first proper boyfriend, and I thought he had come back into my life. 

But he hasn't. Not really. I was mistaken. 

And I am so desperately sad. 

 

 

 

 

Edited March 8, 2020 by Marigold Devin
The photos were a bit too much

[Seicher Rae]

2 hours ago, Marigold Devin said:

And I am so desperately sad. 

I wish there were something I could do or say that would make all the crap in your world just go away. I sure understand why you would be depressed and sad... and cranky. :::hug:::

[Seicher Rae]

Apparently I am a grumpy biotch today, from the looks of my few comments in other threads in the Forum. Before I yell in all CAPS for everyone to go EFF THEMSELVES, I think I should back away slowly.

This is day 2 of my knee being effed up because I effing turned wrong in bed. I was stoned out of my mind on painkillers yesterday to nearly zero effect other than to get stoned (silver lining). A full day down yesterday, and yet I'm still moving on the 12th, the friend is still coming on the 10th, and not getting anything done is not changing that. So I'm in full pain, starting out on painkillers again (different combo today so hopefully different result?).  I couldn't stand well enough to take a shower yesterday, so add "ewwww gross" to the mix. Effing hell.

I don't take chronic OR acute pain gracefully (unless it is well applied by a Dom, then I'm grace on wheels). I don't take stress up the wazoo gracefully. Cranky and grumbling with a dollop of whining.

Edited March 8, 2020 by Seicher Rae
to add graphic, with the pun. Ray = Rae. Get it? huh? Get it?

[Marigold Devin]

8 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:

I wish there were something I could do or say that would make all the crap in your world just go away. I sure understand why you would be depressed and sad... and cranky. :::hug:::

I know it's hard to know what to say to people when they get quite so low. That's why I appreciate your kindness so much more, and I gratefully accept the hug. 

And I extend a hug back to you too, because you've got it going on. 

Life is the *****, not you or I. We just need a bit more balance, some good stuff, in between all the crappite sh1te. 

 

[Pamela Galli]

My husband has diabetes and COPD, is over 60. I bought disposable gloves for him, he won’t wear them.  I keep my two grandkids after school — one of whom keeps fingers in his mouth or nose at all times unless he is wiping them on something. And I am pretty sure what’s left of our and everyone’s retirement savings will be gone once all the dominoes fall. 

Anyway I thought, well, I will have to babysit and probably homeschool them at their house but I now have realized, duh, if I get the virus I could give it to my husband, so not only he but I have to self quarantine. So where is my daughter, a single mom realtor,, going to find child care, esp when the schools close?  How is she supposed to work?  How is anyone with kids going to work?

If the gd President had not declined WHO test kits we would be able to test to see if someone is infected, but I have no alternative but to assume everyone is. 
 

 

[Panteleeva]

Today all the buses and trollebuses(not sure if i wrote the word right,lol) tickets was FREE for women and i really had fun  while visiting many grocery stores  and wasnt walking loong time,hehe   .  Tomorrow mothers B-Day ,Uncle said 2 weeks ago he will make a reservation of nice restaurant for celebrating this important day.. But then...silence....Grandma   talked to mother many time with:just call him and ask what he will do! Mother said she will not.Later grandma said that Uncle and his family is sad about uncles grandkid having one leg much shorter than another one . So i m scared that actually celebrating will not happend and mother probably will be offended ( ih i don t wanna think about that). But compared to uncles 50 years celebrating (2019) was BIIIIIIIIIIIG.so..i don t know

[Garnet Psaltery]

Compared to the misfortunes mentioned here my being sunburned seems very minor.  It was a result of going out in the sun without protection; it's been so long since I went out I completely forgot.  I even forgot how to work an ATM and had to ask the woman behind me.  

[Saraya Starr]

I have read this thread for a long time now, and I almost posted a few times but I did not. I love that people are here for each other no matter what.  But, what has me posting today is the freaking, goddamned time change. I rarely get enough sleep as it is, if I get 3 or 4 hours a night, I consider myself lucky. So losing an hour just sucks. I feel so unreasonably angry about it that I am snapping at everyone in my life today, I have warned them that it is best if they stay away from me today and maybe the next few days. I just went off on my guy in SL for posting stupid crap on FB about how much he loves the time change and that it should always be this way . That was the last straw for me, yeah, some will think I am overreacting to this, but this on top of my depression getting worse, it just pushed me over the edge. 😞  Maybe, I just need a break from it all, and maybe it is time for me to stop waffling about taking the meds my Doctor is pushing me to take 😞

Edited March 8, 2020 by Saraya Starr
Spelling

[Seicher Rae]

2 minutes ago, Saraya Starr said:

I have read this thread for a long time now, and I almost posted a few times but I did not. I love that people are here for each other no matter what.  But, what has me posting today is the freaking, goddamned time change. I rarely get enough sleep as it is, if I get 3 or 4 hours a night, I consider myself lucky. So losing an hour just sucks. I feel so unreasonably angry about it that I am snapping at everyone in my life today, I have warned them that it is best if they stay away from me today and maybe the next few days. I just went off on my guy in SL for posting stupid crap on FB about how much he loves the time change and that it should always be this way . That was the last straw for me, yeah, some will think I am overreacting to this but this on top of my depression getting worse, it just pushed me over the edge. 😞  Maybe, I just need a break from it all, and maybe it is time for me to stop waffling about taking the meds my Doctor is pushing me to take 😞

Yet another reason to hate daylight savings time. It absolutely does play havoc with some people's circadian rhythms, and therefore moods, and... If it makes you feel any better, anyone who posts anywhere about the joys of time switches deserves to be the target of a meltdown. Then a plate of brownies. Then remote control ownership for at least a few hours.   The days are still short, too, so if your mood is affected by the amount of daylight...

You are not unreasonably angry. I hope you get some much needed sleep soon. ♥

[Marigold Devin]

30 minutes ago, Saraya Starr said:

I have read this thread for a long time now, and I almost posted a few times but I did not. I love that people are here for each other no matter what.  But, what has me posting today is the freaking, goddamned time change. I rarely get enough sleep as it is, if I get 3 or 4 hours a night, I consider myself lucky. So losing an hour just sucks. I feel so unreasonably angry about it that I am snapping at everyone in my life today, I have warned them that it is best if they stay away from me today and maybe the next few days. I just went off on my guy in SL for posting stupid crap on FB about how much he loves the time change and that it should always be this way . That was the last straw for me, yeah, some will think I am overreacting to this, but this on top of my depression getting worse, it just pushed me over the edge. 😞  Maybe, I just need a break from it all, and maybe it is time for me to stop waffling about taking the meds my Doctor is pushing me to take 😞

 

23 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:

Yet another reason to hate daylight savings time. It absolutely does play havoc with some people's circadian rhythms, and therefore moods, and... If it makes you feel any better, anyone who posts anywhere about the joys of time switches deserves to be the target of a meltdown. Then a plate of brownies. Then remote control ownership for at least a few hours.   The days are still short, too, so if your mood is affected by the amount of daylight...

You are not unreasonably angry. I hope you get some much needed sleep soon. ♥

After a number of cat naps today, mood has lifted - slightly. Lack of sleep is to blame for a lot of things really, not least me not being able to cope with as much crap, and how I feel for you all with the crappy daylight saving thing going on. I expect it will hit us in the UK in a couple of weeks time. Why they have to faddle about with time is beyond me (farmers? governments? yada yada yada - just leave bloody time alone whydon'tya). 

And we're heading into another full moon. No doubt some of us shall be barking at  or affected by that!

But, no, I don't believe Saraya that you are being unreasonably angry or overreacting. Depression is a serious illness, not understood properly by those lucky enough never to have first hand experience of it. Sleep - good quality sleep - is vital to keep on top of it. 

 

[Beth Macbain]

Hi all. I'm with those of you who also hate the effing time changes. Stop messing with my internal clock, damn it!

I'm okay today, but I'm going to be a royal PITA tomorrow when the alarm goes off.

I've been feeling a little bit low over events that transpired here a couple days ago. I'm not looking for a pity party, and that's why I've not really said anything about it. I did something I felt, and still feel, was the correct thing to do. I received a lot of hate. People have impersonated me in order to get more hate tossed my direction. It's made me feel a little gun-shy about posting in this thread anymore because someone is going to read this and twist it into me being all poor-little-me. 

I realize I've put myself into a no-win situation and I own it, but damn. 

Anyway, that happened.  

[Zzevir]

32 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

Hi all. I'm with those of you who also hate the effing time changes. Stop messing with my internal clock, damn it!

 

I don't like this topic at all. I had a raunchy message for this then a little voice in my head said don't do it. As I might hurt somebody feelings. And I didn't do it. 

I'm disappointed in myself. 

It's time to go to work. 

Edited March 8, 2020 by Zzevir

[Saraya Starr]

2 hours ago, Seicher Rae said:

Yet another reason to hate daylight savings time. It absolutely does play havoc with some people's circadian rhythms, and therefore moods, and... If it makes you feel any better, anyone who posts anywhere about the joys of time switches deserves to be the target of a meltdown. Then a plate of brownies. Then remote control ownership for at least a few hours.   The days are still short, too, so if your mood is affected by the amount of daylight...

You are not unreasonably angry. I hope you get some much needed sleep soon. ♥

Thankyou, Seicher *hugs*

[Saraya Starr]

1 hour ago, Marigold Devin said:

 

After a number of cat naps today, mood has lifted - slightly. Lack of sleep is to blame for a lot of things really, not least me not being able to cope with as much crap, and how I feel for you all with the crappy daylight saving thing going on. I expect it will hit us in the UK in a couple of weeks time. Why they have to faddle about with time is beyond me (farmers? governments? yada yada yada - just leave bloody time alone whydon'tya). 

And we're heading into another full moon. No doubt some of us shall be barking at  or affected by that!

But, no, I don't believe Saraya that you are being unreasonably angry or overreacting. Depression is a serious illness, not understood properly by those lucky enough never to have first hand experience of it. Sleep - good quality sleep - is vital to keep on top of it. 

 

It is just that I am afraid to take anything for it, and I know that is foolish because I know Meds will help me with my Depression and Anxiety 😞  Been so long since I had a good nights sleep that it affects everything I do. And, thankyou Marigold, for your kind words.

[Marigold Devin]

2 minutes ago, Saraya Starr said:

It is just that I am afraid to take anything for it, and I know that is foolish because I know Meds will help me with my Depression and Anxiety 😞  Been so long since I had a good nights sleep that it affects everything I do. And, thankyou Marigold, for your kind words.

Your thinking, and fear, is not at all foolish. Meds might help you with your depression and anxiety. Better is to try and get some sleep. And I know that is catch-22 when depression and anxiety take a-hold. There is so much mind clutter.

I have a short course of Zopiclone currently prescribed to me. I get this from time to time. They knock me out for about six hours of dreamless, and that I shall personally be resorting to tonight, as I have only just got through today. Maybe you need to consider this too, Saraya. I won't try any of the over-the-counter sleep remedies, because I once had a boyfriend who was using them, and they made him pee the bed (I found out later when he had peed the bed, and I read the information leaflet on this product he was using).  Didn't help with the sex life either!!!

***

Regarding my earlier post, the current 'boyfriend (can someone even be that when they are 57 years old???) - maybe I should just say, my man friend. He rang me. Very tired from house moving. That's never going to be easy (oh Seicher, I feel for you, wish I could help - but am so bl00dy useless and pointless right now). But I would dispute his level of tiredness is anything like what I go through on a regular basis with being main carer for my brother.

And there was I, in the olden days of being a free and single woman, divorced, no children, thinking all carers did was sit on their fat arses drinking tea all day.

How that naive belief came to bite me on the bottom rather hard!

 

 

[Marigold Devin]

2 hours ago, Beth Macbain said:

Hi all. I'm with those of you who also hate the effing time changes. Stop messing with my internal clock, damn it!

I'm okay today, but I'm going to be a royal PITA tomorrow when the alarm goes off.

I've been feeling a little bit low over events that transpired here a couple days ago. I'm not looking for a pity party, and that's why I've not really said anything about it. I did something I felt, and still feel, was the correct thing to do. I received a lot of hate. People have impersonated me in order to get more hate tossed my direction. It's made me feel a little gun-shy about posting in this thread anymore because someone is going to read this and twist it into me being all poor-little-me. 

I realize I've put myself into a no-win situation and I own it, but damn. 

Anyway, that happened.  

I didn't intend to get a pity party, but was truly glad of this thread you started today, as I was at the stage of self-harming. Have calmed somewhat, run out of steam, had the cat naps. If your hater dares to come to this thread, I shall be standing by with a shot gun, and I know how to bl00dy well use it.  

I predict a heck of a lot of people will be extra grumpy tomorrow because of having an hour stolen from them (plus also the time it takes to go round and change the times on all the flipping clocks and timers in the house).  

Haters are a form of cancer, being eaten from within. Their own lives never end well. They probably are the ones who should be having the pity party - and after all, isn't that why they try any which way to get attention drawn to them, by trying to put others down?  

Edited March 8, 2020 by Marigold Devin
need a new keyboard. Some letters I press just don't land.

[kali Wylder]

8 hours ago, Marigold Devin said:

Life is the *****, not you or I. We just need a bit more balance, some good stuff, in between all the crappite sh1te. 

Damn right!  /me offers virtual hugs and kindly ears and eyes while you bear it.  Knowing I can't fix it, but wishing I could. This, also to @Seicher Rae.

[Cindy Evanier]

How do I feel today?  Its going to be a funny old week.  Today I get to finally pick up my motorbility car.  Trust me to choose a car that is normally made as a van and so you have to wait for the manufacturers to produce their run of vans before they do a short run of the car version.  So when I ordered it in September the estimation was December and here we are in March 🙄 With my condition walking changes daily, sometimes hourly.  So this large car will give me the option of taking more than just the fold up wheelchair out just in case.  I can pretty much take everything from a stick to a mobility scooter (if I had one)  all at once and just use whatever I need at the time.  Plus all my kids at once and the dog.  This I am excited about.

Also today my next door neighbours start their new kitchen extension which will mean noise and disruption for a couple of weeks and possibly nowhere to even park the new car.  

Tomorrow however, my new windows and doors are being fitted which will be great when done.

Then we get to Friday which is Ki's funeral.  It seems a long time (3 weeks) to have waited but knowing him and his warped sense of humour  he would get a kick out of the date being Friday 13th.

At least I know I have you guys to help me limp through what will be an interesting week.  I also apologise that I haven't had it in me to reach out to others in the thread over the last couple of weeks other than mostly reaction buttons  (even if there is no flipping hug)   Please know I do care and I am reading and empathising with you.