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15 minutes ago, Marigold Devin said:

It's brave, to open up about such feelings, and good that you are recognising triggers for bipolar - so many people do not.  What is important for you right now is how to get through this crummy crappy feeling, this hideous day. Remember to breathe deeply, and eat something nourishing, keep your energy levels up and your blood sugar level steady. Walk away from the person if they are getting too much for you, quietly and calmly say to them you will need to digest what they are saying. But breathe. Deeply. This will pass. 

 

One small problem this person refuses to accept that they cause me so many issues so I hide away in my bedroom from them mostly.

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Absolutely broken.  I have just had confirmation that my wonderful, amazing,  perfectly imperfect partner lost his battle with cancer this morning.  We almost made it to 11 years in this mad crazy wor

My dad passed away today, in his sleep, at the hospice. I'm in that shock phase now, numb and unable to think.

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26 minutes ago, MrsSeren said:

One small problem this person refuses to accept that they cause me so many issues so I hide away in my bedroom from them mostly.

Another small problem, I am flying blind here. I am so very sorry you are living with someone who does not understand your condition. Are you able to go to friends? Do you have a doctor/counsellor to help you with this better?  Taking a time out in your bedroom is not a bad thing, if you can find a way in there of escaping into a better world - I think Second Life helps a lot in this respect, for we can go and meet friends and be who we want to be, but real life medical support can also be beneficial to the real people around us who chose to disbelieve mental health problems even exist.

Edited by Marigold Devin
because I am a totally useless *****.
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9 minutes ago, Marigold Devin said:

Another small problem, I am flying blind here. I am so very sorry you are living with someone who does not understand your condition. Are you able to go to friends? Do you have a doctor/counsellor to help you with this better?  Taking a time out in your bedroom is not a bad thing, if you can find a way in there of escaping into a better world - I think Second Life helps a lot in this respect, for we can go and meet friends and be who we want to be, but real life medical support can also be beneficial to the real people around us who chose to disbelieve mental health problems.

I ranted to my best friend already, but I'm slowly feeling more stable again and my Drs ain't good at recognising mental health problems in young women of my age range sadly.

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3 minutes ago, MrsSeren said:

I ranted to my best friend already, but I'm slowly feeling more stable again and my Drs ain't good at recognising mental health problems in young women of my age range sadly.

If you're in the UK, it HAS to get better - especially after what happened with Caroline Flack. More signs of mental illness need to be recognised, understood, and treated generally in all society. 

I am glad you have a best friend to rant to. 

Try to focus on the good ones who will and do listen to you. And hope that those who disbelieve will one day find understanding.  

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5 hours ago, Marigold Devin said:

Today you don't have to feel dark. Put the dark and gloom in it's own little box in the corner of a little used room, the cupboard under the stairs, throw it out of the back door. Stick a favourite CD on, bang on the radio, get a colouring book and some crayons (this actually works for me). Don't allow the glooms to take you over. Feed the pleasure centre of  your brain with colour - even if you just draw a random load of scribble into a basic Paint and block it in with paint pots of colour, that can be therapeutic.

While I agree it's wonderful to try those things, it's also important to remember that sometimes those things don't work. There is a difference between having the blues and having depression. Sometimes there isn't a damn thing that will makes those dark feelings go away, and that's okay. Well, not okay, because there is help and hope even when it feels like there isn't. 

Depression is awful, and it can't be willed away by telling yourself to feel better. For someone who is in a depressive episode, it just makes them feel like a bigger failure when those things don't work. 

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Just now, Beth Macbain said:

While I agree it's wonderful to try those things, it's also important to remember that sometimes those things don't work. There is a difference between having the blues and having depression. Sometimes there isn't a damn thing that will makes those dark feelings go away, and that's okay. Well, not okay, because there is help and hope even when it feels like there isn't. 

Depression is awful, and it can't be willed away by telling yourself to feel better. For someone who is in a depressive episode, it just makes them feel like a bigger failure when those things don't work. 

Yep. I know. I'm not feeling great myself at the moment, and really should have known better. Bailing out for now. Sorry everyone. 

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23 minutes ago, MrsSeren said:

I ranted to my best friend already, but I'm slowly feeling more stable again and my Drs ain't good at recognising mental health problems in young women of my age range sadly.

Time to find a different doctor. If you have a doctor who doesn't listen to you and take your symptom seriously, kick him to the curb and try someone new. And if that one doesn't work, try another. Keep trying until you find the person who listens, and believes you. hugs

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2 minutes ago, Marigold Devin said:

Yep. I know. I'm not feeling great myself at the moment, and really should have known better. Bailing out for now. Sorry everyone. 

No need for an apology! I should have read your other posts before I responded! I see now that you do understand... and don't you dare bail out! You stay right here and let yourself feel what you feel! hugs

edited to add that my sad reaction emoji is for being sad along with you for feeling sad... we really freaking need that hug emoji!!

Edited by Beth Macbain
Reaction emojis need upgrading!
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3 hours ago, Beth Macbain said:

Time to find a different doctor. If you have a doctor who doesn't listen to you and take your symptom seriously, kick him to the curb and try someone new. And if that one doesn't work, try another. Keep trying until you find the person who listens, and believes you. hugs

That what I'm working on but limited as not many doctors at my surgery.

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It's incredible how asocial I became under the years.

I made an tolerable outlook for myself to go out and isten some live music.

Find a nice place with good music ... then I left  less then 5 minutes in. As I felt really unconformable with so many people around me. 

So I'm a hermit not just Rl but Sl as well. Big well done for me. 

6 minutes ago, MrsSeren said:

That what I'm working on but limited as not many doctors at my surgery.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/crisis-services/helplines-listening-services/#HowCouldTheyHelpMe

 

vhttps://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/

 

https://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/depression/

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It's so very pleasing that people grit their teeth and reach out to others in this wonderful thread.
One thing I am able to do with, (cognitive disability), students, (I wont call them "mine"), is to make them laugh,
then the depths of sorrow & sadness disappear, if only for an hour or two. (usually for the whole day).
The thing is, I am able to do it all the time we are together. 
It really is great fun to look in when passing classrooms and get happy happy waves from them.

Best thing is, the "normal" students also love the sillyness, laugh along too and engage with their fellow students
more than they might usually.

Kind of like is done in this thread. 🥰
 

Edited by Maryanne Solo
$hiteful spelling mistake :o
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12 hours ago, MrsSeren said:

That what I'm working on but limited as not many doctors at my surgery.

Something you could try: when I first found out that my regular GP was only going to help with my MH issues if he thought i was an immediate danger to myself or the public (ie if he or the surgery was in danger of being held accountable), I used a local Facebook page "What's happening in Lexxitown" that allows you to have an anonymous question posted - I got lots of responses, empathy and encouragement, including recommendations for all the local GPs who'd been helpful and supportive to the responders or their family members. I requested my next appointment to be with a particular GP (had to wait a little longer as he was popular!) and had a much better experience.

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16 hours ago, Zzevir said:

So I'm a hermit not just Rl but Sl as well. Big well done for me. 

Same. I thought that being able to drop our daily masks in SL would allow this introvert to be more extroverted. Nope. Didn't happen. Crowds, either RL or SL, are not fun. I sometimes push myself, though. I kind of need to. So I do go to music clubs. I will interact. I might even go to a Forum Princess event (yesterday), that while fun left me mentally exhausted and I literally had to take a nap. (Which is why I rarely go to those types of things.)

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14 hours ago, Maryanne Solo said:

is to make them laugh,
then the depths of sorrow & sadness disappear, if only for an hour or two. (usually for the whole day).

Laughter is great. And sometimes it can help people out of a bit of the blues, or have them refocus. But I know that one of the big misconceptions about severe, clinical depression is that people think, "Oh, see, s/he can laugh, so it can't be that bad." I am NOT saying this is what Maryanne was talking about, just to be clear. The statement just made me flash on this common misconception. For me, humor is my fall back position. I can be in the middle of the biggest, darkest pit of despair and still be able to crack a joke (of dubious quality but I always crack myself up).  I can also be in the middle of an argument, see the folly of it all, crack a joke about a ridiculous comment just made and go back to the fight, anger still in place. (And that I just cracked a joke in an argument where I'm emotionally invested pisses me off to no end with myself.) 

Everyone handles depression in their own way. I've been known to quip online while flipping through a big book of suicide techniques in RL.

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1 minute ago, Seicher Rae said:

But I know that one of the big misconceptions about severe, clinical depression is that people think, "Oh, see, s/he can laugh, so it can't be that bad."

There is a real correlation between depression and stand up comedy. The Sad Clown

We often try to mask the pain through laughter, or through making others laugh. Robin Williams is the one I think of most often when I think of this. He was so damn funny but you could actually see the pain and unhappiness in his eyes... he had such an expressive face and couldn't hide it. 

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Today I'm feeling hopeful. Not for anything deeply introspective or inspirational.

After a solid week (or  more, I'm not sure anymore) of sewage problems, the plumbers finally showed up. This was after I spent an hour plunging, praying and doing the peepee dance. My  house does not smell pleasant. I've Febreezed, burned incense and taken more baby wipe baths than I care to mention. This may be TMI, but fingers crossed, I might have a new sewage line by the end of the day. 

Fingers crossed. 

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54 minutes ago, Mahala Roviana said:

Today I'm feeling hopeful. Not for anything deeply introspective or inspirational.

After a solid week (or  more, I'm not sure anymore) of sewage problems, the plumbers finally showed up. This was after I spent an hour plunging, praying and doing the peepee dance. My  house does not smell pleasant. I've Febreezed, burned incense and taken more baby wipe baths than I care to mention. This may be TMI, but fingers crossed, I might have a new sewage line by the end of the day. 

Fingers crossed. 

superstitious-hands-with-fingers-crossed

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Since I've made some dubiously sad or serious posts today, I thought I should actually type how I am feeling today, which is: weirdly upbeat. And it is probably mostly due to the joys of chemistry, heh... two kinds of chemistry.

Medications and me are always a tricky thing, it seems. Rarely can you just slap a "this works on 99% of the population" drug on me and I do ok. No, I have to be the drama queen. I almost never talk about my prescription drugs, but on the off chance this could help someone... My doctor and I have been trying various antidepressants. I was on Wellbutrin for a while, but stopped because it did nothing, although it did knock my appetite on its butt. So we switched to Zoloft, and we are gradually increasing the dose. Zoloft is doing just "ok" with the mood but is increasing my appetite. Noooooooooo. So, we've added Wellbutrin back into the mix. Today is the 2nd day of that combo and I woke up feeling perky? Eeek! And yes, I respond super quickly to drugs, feeling effects very early, but not the full effects which take me just as long as everyone else.

We also increased my dose of thyroid medication. My thyroid levels were right at the edge of normal and hypothyroid. In another situation thyroid would not be prescribed. However, considering my depression we have tried a type of thyroid (not the usual synthroid) that has some therapeutic applications for depression. We started out at 5 mcg. Meh. Nothing. She just increased it to 25, and again, today is day 2 and again, perky. :) So... better living through chemicals?

As to the other kind of chemistry, after talking with what seems like every as*hat and tw*twaffle on the grid, one by one,  and getting ghosted and meeting nice ZOMGRagingTrumpSupporter I may just have stumbled across a very interesting guy. Actually he stumbled across me, which is even better. Fingers crossed folks. It would be nice to have someone to hang out with and get up to pervy things with. I mean, listen to music with. Yeah. That one.

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Things could be worse.  I've been visited by my old friend anxiety over my tooth problems.  This might help me since my GP surgery receptionist won't let me see a doc about the teeth; a GP can actually refer me for treatment so I'm going to use the anxiety as a way to see one.  I have to ring them tomorrow at 8 am to get an appointment so please yell "Wake up, dozy!" when it's time.  The pain varies and I'm keeping it mild with painkillers.   So, things could be worse.

Edited by Garnet Psaltery
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2 minutes ago, Garnet Psaltery said:

This might help me since my GP surgery receptionist won't let me see a doc about the teeth

Yeesh. I'd rather have your medical system than ours but, yeah, you guys are far from perfect over there, too. (Same can be said for Canada.) Why is getting reasonable, logical, affordable, accessible medical care such a horrendous chore in civilized countries? (Yeah, don't get me started on whether we are currently living in civilized countries...)

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2 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:

Rarely can you just slap a "this works on 99% of the population" drug on me and I do ok.

It is definitely trial and error when it comes to hitting just the right combo and dosage with these sorts of medications

And, of course, a year or so after you finally get it just right, your body gets too used to it and it stops working as well and you have to adjust again.

I've been on Cymbalta for several years now. I switched to that after Lexapro stopped working for me and I like it fine other than the horror of the brain zaps when I don't take it for a couple of days. I've told my doctor that I will never, ever come of it because I don't think I could survive the withdrawal symptoms. I'm up to 90mg per day on that. After I struggled after my dad died, my doc added Wellbutrin for me and it's been. Something about Wellbutrin in combination with other meds seems to work well for a lot of people. 

Even though mine are working well for me right now, my depression meds have always been prescribed by my GP. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist in April to just kind of make sure I'm doing what is best for me, and taking the best combination. I'd love to replace the Cymbalta with something else just because of the brain zaps, but that's terrifying to me when it's working well. 

And that other kind of chemistry is wonderful as well. I totally thought you were talking about pot at first, but gushy fuzzy feelings for another human being are even better!

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6 minutes ago, Garnet Psaltery said:

Things could be worse.  I've been visited by my old friend anxiety over my tooth problems.  This might help me since my GP surgery receptionist won't let me see a doc about the teeth; a GP can actually refer me for treatment so I'm going to use the anxiety as a way to see one.  I have to ring them tomorrow at 8 am to get an appointment so please yell "Wake up, dozy!" when it's time.  The pain varies and I'm keeping it mild with painkillers.   So, things could be worse.

Oh Garnet, I really feel for you. Bloody doctors' receptionists. They really do their job far too well and have far too much power (it is how we came to have our budgerigar currently, because of an over-zealous doctor's receptionist overstepping their role/mark).  

As you do need referral to the hospital dental clinic, you definitely do need to see your doctor. I don't know whether this will help you at all - I seem lately to be doing nothing but putting my big fat foot in it when I try to give advice, so this might be the last attempt at that - so anyway, here it comes ... I was informed by my own doctor (and I went through mental health emergency services for this) that when the receptionist asks why I need to speak with a doctor, I do not have to (nobody actually has to) discuss anything with the receptionist. You can insist on speaking with a doctor. And if the receptionist refuses, you can ask to be put through to the practise manager.  You have a right to speak with a doctor directly.  But for sure, it is a doctor - not a dentist - who has to refer you to the dental clinic.   

If I am wrong about this, then your dentist would have already been able to refer you to the dental clinic.  They will be most marvellous at the dental clinic as well. This no doubt is something they are very familiar with, and they are sheerly brilliant.  

Sadly I have no intention of being awake at 8am tomorrow.  I am staying over at my brother's house because workmen are right in front of mine, and I am very sleep deprived, full of cold, and bloody miserable with a bout of depression that took me out of the "game" (life) completely yesterday.  

Hope I have not made anything worse for you.  

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3 minutes ago, Marigold Devin said:

Hope I have not made anything worse for you.  

I think this is wonderful advice. Ultimately, we're the ones who have to look out for our own health, and sometimes that means putting your foot down. That's not an especially natural thing for me to do, but I've had to suck it up and do it a couple times.

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