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13 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

you don't have to keep checking that phone

I thought that until the youngest was supposed to be returning from the school ski trip today... they left Austria at 9 pm last night.  Broke down in Stuttgart for 3 hours.  Arrived in Calais at midday for a 2 pm crossing and are still sitting on the dock at Calais.  (currently 8 pm here).  He (they) are all thoroughly miserable.  The only food is vending machines which are empty and when they finally get to cross the channel ETA at school is 5 am.  Every time I tell him to save his battery, he texts something else  (now his arm has been hurting all day)  

Problems are caused by the storms and the amount of school trips returning after skiing during half term holidays.  I almost feel sorry for the teachers.  

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Absolutely broken.  I have just had confirmation that my wonderful, amazing,  perfectly imperfect partner lost his battle with cancer this morning.  We almost made it to 11 years in this mad crazy wor

My dad passed away today, in his sleep, at the hospice. I'm in that shock phase now, numb and unable to think.

So, quick update number 2...  My daughter is negative for covid-19!!! the super quarantine is lifted and we can go grocery shopping! Back to your regularly scheduled bickering.. 

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15 minutes ago, Cindy Evanier said:

Arrived in Calais at midday for a 2 pm crossing and are still sitting on the dock at Calais.

Other than the no-food part, that sounds like heaven to me! Granted, I've never been to Calais before but being on the dock in Calais during storms sounds terribly romantic to me... lol! I'm sure in actuality it's wet and miserable, though. Can they get a pizza delivered?

 

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It's Sat, which means that I have managed to survive another week.  For some reason that I totally cannot figure out, this past week has been extra hard emotionally.  I feel like I'm sinking farther and farther into the pit of despair.  I'm not sure how I got here and I sure as hell don't know how I'll get out of it, let alone when.

Thank goodness for distractions.  History shows that as long as I can still lose myself in a book, a TV show, these forums, of some SL activity, I will somehow get through it.

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5 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

Other than the no-food part, that sounds like heaven to me! Granted, I've never been to Calais before but being on the dock in Calais during storms sounds terribly romantic to me... lol! I'm sure in actuality it's wet and miserable, though. Can they get a pizza delivered?

 

I just looked at the twitter feed for the ferry company  OMG.  The poor people complaining.  Just saw our headmaster's plea for information from them.  There is no response to anyone on twitter and they also complain the phone lines are down.  I doubt its romantic at all.  By the sound of it its just nose to tail coaches.  (Lets not even consider the toilet facilities)

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2 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

It's Sat, which means that I have managed to survive another week.  For some reason that I totally cannot figure out, this past week has been extra hard emotionally.  I feel like I'm sinking farther and farther into the pit of despair.  I'm not sure how I got here and I sure as hell don't know how I'll get out of it, let alone when.

Thank goodness for distractions.  History shows that as long as I can still lose myself in a book, a TV show, these forums, of some SL activity, I will somehow get through it.

You absolutely will get through it. I have to tell myself the same thing when my dark friend visits... if I can just hang on and wait it out, he'll go away. 

In the meantime, we're here to offer any help or distractions that we can! 

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2 minutes ago, Cindy Evanier said:

I just looked at the twitter feed for the ferry company  OMG.  The poor people complaining.  Just saw our headmaster's plea for information from them.  There is no response to anyone on twitter and they also complain the phone lines are down.  I doubt its romantic at all.  By the sound of it its just nose to tail coaches.  (Lets not even consider the toilet facilities)

Those poor kids... and yes, the poor teachers who must be ready to jump off the freaking dock and swim for it!

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1 hour ago, Cindy Evanier said:

I feel like I pulled the pin, threw a grenade and killed the thread... you guys can continue with your own posts 

PLEASE x  :) 

You didn't kill the thread, not at all. You made me think. How to improve certain relationships in my life, and how it is far too short to feel negative emotions or have spiteful thoughts, which I admit sometimes creep in from time to time with certain people. 

It was a massive life event that you shared, the consequences of which will go on and on, because you are always so thoughtful to others whenever you post, and none of us knew quite what you were going through yourself. 

Be sad for your loss, be happy for the good memories you made.

And yes, we need that hug button.

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44 minutes ago, Cindy Evanier said:

I just looked at the twitter feed for the ferry company  OMG.  The poor people complaining.  Just saw our headmaster's plea for information from them.  There is no response to anyone on twitter and they also complain the phone lines are down.  I doubt its romantic at all.  By the sound of it its just nose to tail coaches.  (Lets not even consider the toilet facilities)

The toilet facilities will be what they'll remember the most. It sounds horrendous, and how glad will they all be to be back home again. Quite an adventure though to be up quite so late, and I guess that will be the part of the story the kids will relate to school friends.  The weather has been preposterous. Roll on Spring. 

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On 2/21/2020 at 1:20 PM, Cindy Evanier said:

Absolutely broken.  I have just had confirmation that my wonderful, amazing,  perfectly imperfect partner lost his battle with cancer this morning.  We almost made it to 11 years in this mad crazy world.  I couldn't tell you all what was going on before now because I didn't want it to be true.  I wanted the miracle though as we passed Christmas and into the New Year that started to look less and less likely.  

Words are not enough so here's our song.   Everyone please hold your loved one tight as you never know when it will be the last chance.

 

 

Oh Cindy, my heart breaks for you. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Please know that my thoughts are with you. *hugs you gently* 

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I don't know if I have mentioned this yet but since we are getting up in age, one of the first things we talk about when meeting old friends is how our health has been.  We call this the organ recital. 

"How you been doing, Jim?"
"well, my pancreases is shot and I have diabetes now.  How have your kidneys been doing, any better?"
"Better than Mary's liver, I can tell you that."

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Difficult morning already.  Up before 5 am to welcome home a very tired child who went straight to bed with mumblings of "need pizza when I wake up"

I could have gone back to bed but supermarket food delivery due at 9 am and I wanted to clean the fridge before filling it again.   Then on to the difficult stuff.  Contacting our opensim grid hosting company and letting go the region we have held since 2010.  Then posting messages on our social media pages updating customers and followers.  Then I unlisted all the marketplace store since I don't have access to Ki's account all the sales money will just sit there forever.  I know for a fact he hasnt cashed out since November so there will be a lot of money in his account right now. :/ 

I have had quite a few offlines overnight from customers wishing me well, expressing their disappointment that there will be nothing more from Ki and praising the stuff they had from him.  OMG he would have got such a kick from hearing the nice things people said about the content he provided.  Repeat customers gave him such a buzz, knowing they liked what he did enough to come back for more.  

I did have one unpleasant customer who, even after hearing the news, kicked off about the fact there was no way I could make a change to a bed for her on Ki's behalf.  I couldn't be arsed arguing the point so refunded her and logged off after waiting 10 minutes for a thanks or any response at all. 

In the coming days I will clear out the stores leaving just the redelivery terminal until tier runs out at the end of March then *shrugs*  no idea what is next for me in SL.  I met Ki at the end of my first month in SL  (11 years next week). His first day in SL and I was the first person he spoke to and that was that.  So I am going to be a little lost.  I have a few commitments to keep with regard to a home and garden events team I am part of.  My SL sisters and I are going to group together our premium land allowances and buy a plot so we can all continue to live together when I have to give up the store region.  

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1 hour ago, Cindy Evanier said:

Difficult morning already.  Up before 5 am to welcome home a very tired child who went straight to bed with mumblings of "need pizza when I wake up"

I could have gone back to bed but supermarket food delivery due at 9 am and I wanted to clean the fridge before filling it again.   Then on to the difficult stuff.  Contacting our opensim grid hosting company and letting go the region we have held since 2010.  Then posting messages on our social media pages updating customers and followers.  Then I unlisted all the marketplace store since I don't have access to Ki's account all the sales money will just sit there forever.  I know for a fact he hasnt cashed out since November so there will be a lot of money in his account right now. :/ 

I have had quite a few offlines overnight from customers wishing me well, expressing their disappointment that there will be nothing more from Ki and praising the stuff they had from him.  OMG he would have got such a kick from hearing the nice things people said about the content he provided.  Repeat customers gave him such a buzz, knowing they liked what he did enough to come back for more.  

I did have one unpleasant customer who, even after hearing the news, kicked off about the fact there was no way I could make a change to a bed for her on Ki's behalf.  I couldn't be arsed arguing the point so refunded her and logged off after waiting 10 minutes for a thanks or any response at all. 

In the coming days I will clear out the stores leaving just the redelivery terminal until tier runs out at the end of March then *shrugs*  no idea what is next for me in SL.  I met Ki at the end of my first month in SL  (11 years next week). His first day in SL and I was the first person he spoke to and that was that.  So I am going to be a little lost.  I have a few commitments to keep with regard to a home and garden events team I am part of.  My SL sisters and I are going to group together our premium land allowances and buy a plot so we can all continue to live together when I have to give up the store region.  

I'm relieved to hear your youngster arrived back eventually. What an adventure! I guess when they wake up and have filled up on pizza they will be full of chatter about it all.  And they will remember it for all of their lives too.

I admit I am sitting here crying for your loss. Similarly to yourself, I met a really good man within my first month of being in Second Life, and he mentored me, and we shared a home and a Second Life together for a while. Unfortunately, we broke up after only a couple of years, but even now I have fond memories of him and wish him well, and if I heard anything had happened to him, I would be very upset.  

It still stings me so much when people who don't get Second Life, can't understand the close relationships and bonds we form with others in our virtual world. It is not "saddo", it's bloody marvellous we can make connections, find our SL soul mates. But having our emotions from what is happening in our virtual life understood out in real life can be impossible.  I had a dalliance with Janelle, we were really nothing more than friends, even though we partnered, but reading back some stuff from that time, with a real life friend recently, they were absolutely amazed at how much time and emotions were invested in that friendship, how much fun we had, and how deep our conversations got in places. 

In Second Life we have to work harder to be understood sometimes too, because of text speaking or language barriers, or barriers caused by being in different countries/cultures.  

What you are having to do now is exactly as difficult and emotional as if you had been running a store and a life together in real life. Heck, it IS real life, the time we spend, the investments we make, the friendships we forge. It is bloody well real! That rude difficult customer, she is real too - probably needs a good big bowl of all bran in real life!!!

And I send you a big hug, and strength.

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It's 5:36am for me and I'm still awake. I have a head cold though it seems to making a home in my right eye. I'm thinking eventually my sore raw nose will fly off from all of the projectile sneezing. It would save me greatly from having to deal with a nasal waterfall every time I bend over to pick something up. Though I did give up on that, figured I can bend over when I'm better, but the cats did not agree so of course, I fed them. One was grateful enough to save me half of my body space on my queen size bed and to remind me how much he loves me by snoring loudly...for a cat. I swear, I think he has sleep apena. 

Anyway, I'm working on a build and making textures took a break to read the forums, saw this and inserted the above. 

They don't make kleenex tissues like they use too. 

 

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To all of those who have posted here, feeling darkness envelop them - not naming names - I know how hard it was for you to post. I know how hard it is to remember the brighter days - you can get through this though, and brighter days will return. They will! Today you don't have to feel dark. Put the dark and gloom in it's own little box in the corner of a little used room, the cupboard under the stairs, throw it out of the back door. Stick a favourite CD on, bang on the radio, get a colouring book and some crayons (this actually works for me). Don't allow the glooms to take you over. Feed the pleasure centre of  your brain with colour - even if you just draw a random load of scribble into a basic Paint and block it in with paint pots of colour, that can be therapeutic.

To all, I wish you better and brighter days. 

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6 hours ago, Cindy Evanier said:

 

  no idea what is next for me in SL.  I met Ki at the end of my first month in SL  (11 years next week). His first day in SL and I was the first person he spoke to and that was that.  So I am going to be a little lost.  I have a few commitments to keep with regard to a home and garden events team I am part of.  My SL sisters and I are going to group together our premium land allowances and buy a plot so we can all continue to live together when I have to give up the store region.  

How about you write a book about your virtual relation ship? Give you something to do and maybe help you cope. And there is a lot of smart people her on the forum (not me) how can help you if you need it. And you can self publish as an ebook.  

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3 minutes ago, Zzevir said:

How about you write a book about your virtual relation ship? Give you something to do and maybe help you cope. And there is a lot of smart people her on the forum (not me) how can help you if you need it. And you can self publish as an ebook.  

Nice idea but I doubt anyone but me would be interested in me waffling on about that lol   and I have 11 years of chat logs, texts and messages if I want to read it.

 

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1 hour ago, Cindy Evanier said:

Nice idea but I doubt anyone but me would be interested in me waffling on about that lol   and I have 11 years of chat logs, texts and messages if I want to read it.

 

50 shades of grey was a best seller. You can do better than that. 

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7 hours ago, Cindy Evanier said:

a very tired child who went straight to bed with mumblings of "need pizza when I wake up"

I most definitely did not want to add a laugh to the post itself, but I truly laughed out loud at this part.  It reminded me of a few times with my son.

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Honestly? I feel like I'm drowning, someone put me through major nastiness and grief in my RL where I live so now I feel like my bipolar is threatening to overwhelm me currently so my mood ain't great and person blames other stuff when they don't realise that they are one of my major triggers for my bipolar so yeah I'm bit all over place currently and trying not to cry as I write this so all I can say right now.... FML!

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2 minutes ago, MrsSeren said:

Honestly? I feel like I'm drowning, someone put me through major nastiness and grief in my RL where I live so now I feel like my bipolar is threatening to overwhelm me currently so my mood ain't great and person blames other stuff when they don't realise that they are one of my major triggers for my bipolar so yeah I'm bit all over place currently and trying not to cry as I write this so all I can say right now.... FML!

It's brave, to open up about such feelings, and good that you are recognising triggers for bipolar - so many people do not.  What is important for you right now is how to get through this crummy crappy feeling, this hideous day. Remember to breathe deeply, and eat something nourishing, keep your energy levels up and your blood sugar level steady. Walk away from the person if they are getting too much for you, quietly and calmly say to them you will need to digest what they are saying. But breathe. Deeply. This will pass. 

 

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