Sukubia Scarmon Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 3 minutes ago, Cindy Evanier said: The thread was started before Christmas for people who were having it tough and to help each other through it. There was a lot of sharing difficult stuff people were going through and we were all helping each other with a place to speak and have people show empathy. Some people shared some quite difficult stuff. Quite a few of those people have stopped posting recently. Btw congrats on your 500th post That I do get, and greatly appreciate. But the way I understood it, that you guys aren't happy with the direction of the thread - I'm ASSUMING because some people started to chat about different stuff a bit. One one side, I can understand that, because maybe it feels like it distracts from the difficult issues people have? I don't feel that way, usually people are still offering empathy, and usually, derails don't tend to last that long here. And thank you! I successfully beat the forums now and can delete it! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy Evanier Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 Just now, Sukubia Scarmon said: That I do get, and greatly appreciate. But the way I understood it, that you guys aren't happy with the direction of the thread - I'm ASSUMING because some people started to chat about different stuff a bit. One one side, I can understand that, because maybe it feels like it distracts from the difficult issues people have? I don't feel that way, usually people are still offering empathy, and usually, derails don't tend to last that long here. And thank you! I successfully beat the forums now and can delete it! What I have seen recently is people who haven't bothered to read the OP or the subsequent posts and interact and just add something quite random just to boost their post count. I know more than one person who has reached out to me in IM because they don't feel the same posting here anymore which is sad. Thats why I said we can get it back on topic. I don't mean the odd little derail. I mean those who don't even get the reason for the thread or stay around long enough to care. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sukubia Scarmon Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 1 minute ago, Cindy Evanier said: What I have seen recently is people who haven't bothered to read the OP or the subsequent posts and interact and just add something quite random just to boost their post count. I know more than one person who has reached out to me in IM because they don't feel the same posting here anymore which is sad. Thats why I said we can get it back on topic. I don't mean the odd little derail. I mean those who don't even get the reason for the thread or stay around long enough to care. I mean, I think you have people like that in every thread - even though I find that quite odd, because if I'd want to boost my postcount and/or like rating, I'd spam the picture-threads, tends to give more results in a shorter amount of time. But I don't think it's that many people. Some, I'd assume, may just don't really know how to express themselves. Gods know I've posted or said really random stuff because I didn't know how to say what I actually wanted to say. Granted, that's more of a rl problem for me, writing usually gives me the patience with myself, heh. My grandmother would call me naive now, and maybe she's right, heh. But it's not like I can't understand your point. But I don't really think there's much anyone can do at this point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marigold Devin Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 On 1/29/2020 at 10:48 AM, rasterscan said: Morose Such a small word, that means so much, and I can identify with it too, on too many days. Usually caused by overpaid incompetents who will insist on badgering me - not on the payroll - to do half their job for them. Morose. Mo Rose sounds like a gangster's mother. And perhaps not as grim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marigold Devin Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 5 hours ago, Beth Macbain said: I'm going to attempt to make it go away. I'd rather see this thread get locked than have it turn into something it was never meant to be. Even I've been shy about posting in it (or anywhere on the forums) recently. I feel like January has been a very bumpy month, and for many of us. I've dipped in and out of the thread, started with good intentions, and it certainly has helped me to face some of the grimmer days knowing that I genuinely am not alone in the struggles a lot of us face. I only returned to forums quite recently after a long break, was feeling very fragile, not expecting the kindness that has been shown. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kali Wylder Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 2 hours ago, Beth Macbain said: How are you, @kali Wylder? Be careful over the next few months. For me, the hardest part was about 3 months after my father died once the shock wore off and the immediate grief and things were starting to settle into some new kind of normal that wasn't normal at all. It was sort of like, "Okay, he's dead and everything is horrible." ...three months pass... "OMG HE REALLY IS DEAD AND EVERYTHING REALLY IS HORRIBLE WTF?!?!" hugs I'm hanging in there, and he's still dead. I think my heart is still in denial, which is easy in California, 3,000 miles away from him. I'm working on relocating (retiring!) to be closer to my sibs and then I'm sure it will hit me all over again. I often find myself gazing at his ring that he bequeathed to me, it's sitting next to my monitor. What am I supposed to do with a man's diamond ring? I think it must be worth some money as it's a big diamond, but I don't want to sell it. Don't want to wear it either. Maybe I'll get a gold chain and wear it around my neck, to keep him close to me. 7 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleMe Jewell Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 I can't figure out whether I should be posting anything here or not. 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth Macbain Posted January 31, 2020 Author Share Posted January 31, 2020 December sucked but this January has seemed pretty freaking rotten, too. I don’t think I’m alone in feeling that. We’ve all been kind of snarly... I have, anyway. I didn’t bounce back from the miserable holidays like I wanted to and it’s made me angry and defensive and closed off. We’re all real people and we’re all dealing with some sh*t in one way or another. I just wanted this thread to be one place where we could be real and raw and honest and not feel so alone being broken. We’ve really done pretty good considering where we are and all our differences. ❤️ 6 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garnet Psaltery Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 Someone's been kind to me today, though they probably won't realise it. I was feeling grumpy with myself and everyone, and annoyed by various pains, but now I probably won't bite the next person's head off. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kali Wylder Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 (edited) 4 hours ago, LittleMe Jewell said: I can't figure out whether I should be posting anything here or not. There's no should. If you have joy and/or pain to share, this is a good safe place to share it. If you read here something that resonates, responses are welcome. If you want to post a selfie, you know where to do that. Most folks know the difference. I'm sure we are all strong enough to handle it if some newb blunders in and derails things. Edited January 31, 2020 by kali Wylder 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy Evanier Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 Sorry guys I guess I was a grouch yesterday over this thread. There is stuff I need to say but I can't say it out loud (or in text) because that would make it more real. I think I was just relying on this thread being the right place when I am ready. @LittleMe Jewell you absolutely should be here. Its 7 am, time to paint the smile on. I don't mean literally, no make-up for me 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsSeren Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 Today... I feel mentally and physically drained; I just going through my routine in SL today and just not really with it. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zzevir Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 If I was lower than now I could see into hell. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BinBash Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 It's a lazy day so far today. I keep my thinker busy with stuff, I try to, usually works. I got coffee that's always good \o/ I feel better when I'm busy. Or.. well. maybe I just don't know what I'm feeling when I'm busy. I don't think I feel as good right now as I did yesterday but once I start getting busy again I'll be fine. I think, maybe. Oh wait, this is my yesterday. My days collided, I slept and woke in the same day. Well, so some hours ago was my yesterday, even though it was really today. *checks time* It's time to get busy again. I'm doing fine thanks \o/ 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kali Wylder Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 (edited) 4 hours ago, Zzevir said: If I was lower than now I could see into hell. Offers you a heartfelt virtual hug to ease your pain. I saw some of what contributed to your pain in another thread and I'm very sorry about your friend. When big stuff like friends dying is weighing you down, little things like bleeptards can make you snap. Be gentle with yourself. "Today was a Difficult Day," said Pooh. There was a pause. "Do you want to talk about it?" asked Piglet. "No," said Pooh after a bit. "No, I don't think I do." "That's okay," said Piglet, and he came and sat beside his friend. "What are you doing?" asked Pooh. "Nothing, really," said Piglet. "Only, I know what Difficult Days are like. I quite often don't feel like talking about it on my Difficult Days either. "But goodness," continued Piglet, "Difficult Days are so much easier when you know you've got someone there for you. And I'll always be here for you, Pooh." And as Pooh sat there, working through in his head his Difficult Day, while the solid, reliable Piglet sat next to him quietly, swinging his little legs...he thought that his best friend had never been more right." A.A. Milne Edited January 31, 2020 by kali Wylder eta to add something I found that kinda 'splains what we mean to each other in thie thread 6 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsSeren Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 Honestly, you ALL in this THREAD help by just letting me write what I feel and @kali Wylder I love that quote; it's one my faves and I have stuck on kitchen door as reminder to my parents just because I'm having bad day; it not personal and I appreciate them being there for when I feel ready to talk. So THANKS!! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LexxiXhan Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 On 1/30/2020 at 12:03 PM, rasterscan said: Perky. Angst level medium. Update? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LexxiXhan Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 On 1/30/2020 at 10:18 PM, Sukubia Scarmon said: But I don't think it's that many people. Some, I'd assume, may just don't really know how to express themselves. Gods know I've posted or said really random stuff because I didn't know how to say what I actually wanted to say This. This is an empathy thread. It doesn't have to be conditional or prescriptive. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saraya Starr Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 On 1/30/2020 at 11:42 AM, ManuelAngel2004 said: Very good, Beth. Spending time on a room by the beach wondering what the future awaits... 🖤 Ok, FFS, Maybe someone else has said this, but right now I just DGAF. This really is not the place to up your post count, cause that is how this looks to me. This used to be a place where we could come and spill how we are feeling. Not this.... Ok, I will stop here because my mood lately has been crap. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela Galli Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 (edited) On 1/30/2020 at 7:16 PM, Garnet Psaltery said: Someone's been kind to me today, though they probably won't realise it. This made me choke up. Any expression of kindness these days, of anyone to anyone, makes me cry. Things are so over the top vicious, heartless, and cold blooded in US culture, kindness is magnified. I think I used to take it for granted, now I am more aware that it’s all we have. I also get livid when I see the gratuitous rudeness and cruelty people think they are entitled to dish out because they are so freaking entitled. Edited February 1, 2020 by Pamela Galli 6 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LexxiXhan Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 6 hours ago, Zzevir said: If I was lower than now I could see into hell. Spill, if you will. All are welcome here x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LexxiXhan Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 Indestructible. Just need to keep telling myself that.. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rasterscan Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 Sad. We're ( uk ) out the EU, official. Shot ourselves in both feet imho. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy Evanier Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 I haven't left the house for a week. My cold refuses to let go but i think as the sun is shining I will dress up warm and venture into my happy place, the garden, and see if fresh air helps. The nice delivery man from amazon carried my parcels out there for me which includes a propagator, seeds, rooting gel, and a growing table so I can sit and attempt to grow some of my own seeds and cuttings. Its one of the things I can do for myself even on wheelchair days. My gardening is a bit like my cooking... chuck it in and see how it turns out. I had a man come round yesterday measuring up for new windows and front door and was happy that the local business price was much lower than the big name businesses. There was no hard sell and he even talked me out of something I wanted because in his experience it was just a popular door handle that will be out of fashion in a couple of years and would just add £400 to the cost. For a door handle!! Anyway, he gets the job for obvious reasons. It was very refreshing dealing with him. Mood - more positive as we move into February. Sorry for the waffling 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garnet Psaltery Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 4 hours ago, rasterscan said: Sad. We're ( uk ) out the EU, official. Shot ourselves in both feet imho. I hope no-one turns this into a political thread. 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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