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Peeping Tom


Waiomao
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Aloha all. I was happy to get into a Bellisseria houseboat, but recently learned that I have a peeping tom in my area. This should be harmless, right - it's only an avatar - so why do I feel violated? He has been looking in on me while my avatar is asleep overnight, and recently watched me having a little personal fun. I only know this because he comments on what he has seen. Sure he's complimentary, but nice words and propositioning me don't help me feel less violated. I've covered all the windows I usually leave open, but know that anyone can use camera controls to sweep in past window coverings or ban lines to watch whatever they like. It feels creepy, but I'm sure plenty of people are voyeurs and do this - I just don't know about it because most people don't comment on what they see. I waited a long time for a Bellisseria houseboat, but I'm tempted to abandon it and wait for another one... even though the same problem will likely exist at the next place. Am I being overly sensitive? It's probably unrealistic to have any expectation of privacy when everything is so easily visible.

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Don't feel violated. In your Parcel settings turn on your privacy so avatars outside cannot see avatars inside. If you see an avatar come onto your parcel IM them and ask what they are doing there. (If it appears they are just passing through, ignore them. They'll likely be gone before you get your IM widow up. And for the record, no matter what you do, anyone can strip you naked on their viewer anywhere at any time. The only defenses are to turn on appropriate Alpha Cuts on your mesh body or use Bakes on Mesh underclothes.

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Go into your "About Land" settings to the "Options" tab and uncheck "Avatars on other parcels can see and chat with avatars on this parcel" 

You can also add the username to the Banned list under the same tab

Don't forget to block them through thier profile to stop all further contact with them along with the above steps.

Edited by Lisa006 Baxton
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Thanks folks.

28 minutes ago, Alyona Su said:

And for the record, no matter what you do, anyone can strip you naked on their viewer anywhere at any time. The only defenses are to turn on appropriate Alpha Cuts on your mesh body or use Bakes on Mesh underclothes.

Chee, is that true even when I use an applier and the clothes are a HUD layer? I'd rather go without clothes any day, but I'd also like it to be MY decision, not some creeper.

29 minutes ago, Lisa006 Baxton said:

Go into your "About Land" settings to the "Options" tab and uncheck "Avatars on other parcels can see and chat with avatars on this parcel" 

You can also add the username to the Banned list under the same tab

Yup yup yup, will do.

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26 minutes ago, Waiomao said:

is that true even when I use an applier and the clothes are a HUD layer?

Possibly. I do not know about other bodies but Altamura's main body consists of the skin on the main mesh and the tattoo on a second "onion skin" layer of the main mesh. If anyone were to derender that, they would derender the body itself. For the underwear layer and clothing layer, those "onion skins" are on an attachable object, separate from the main body. If someone were to derender that, then the underwear and clothing would disappear in their viewer, leaving whatever is applied to the main body (skin and tattoo layers) visible.

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1 hour ago, Waiomao said:

I only know this because he comments on what he has seen. Sure he's complimentary, but nice words and propositioning me don't help me feel less violated.

Yeah... like... WTF is wrong with some dudes...

I don't mind people perving my avatar, even when I'm 'busy on the poseballs'... It's the ones that IM comments that annoy me... Most of the ban list on my mainland plot and my own block list is made of that sort... I absolutely hate that I have to alter my land settings to block them - because I like looking out and seeing who's walking around and such... but yeah, I usually end up setting privacy for a while after one of those 'Avatar-catcallers'...

 

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4 hours ago, Waiomao said:
4 hours ago, Alyona Su said:

 And for the record, no matter what you do, anyone can strip you naked on their viewer anywhere at any time. The only defenses are to turn on appropriate Alpha Cuts on your mesh body or use Bakes on Mesh underclothes.

Chee, is that true even when I use an applier and the clothes are a HUD layer? I'd rather go without clothes any day, but I'd also like it to be MY decision, not some creeper.

If you APPLY clothing to a mesh body, then nobody can see under those layers.  When they derender any attached mesh clothing, they see the mesh body with the APPLIED layers.  If they derender the mesh body, they see nothing due to the alpha hiding the system body -- not accounting for BoM stuff (see next comment).

However, with BoM, you don't wear an alpha over your system body, so I suppose folks could derender your mesh body and thus see the pixels of the original system body.  Based on what I remember of how BoM works anyway - I haven't played with it yet.

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Thanks folks. I experimented derendering with a cooperative friend. He arrived wearing a single-piece outfit (shirt-pants-hoodie), and derendering what looked to me like just his hoodie made his entire avatar invisible to me (!), rather than just removing his hoodie or the whole one-piece outfit. I was wearing several things, and he was able to derender items I was wearing, but not items I had put on with an applier (he was using Kokua viewer; may be something to do with that???).

Interesting note: body sections I happened to have hidden with my body's alpha mask remained hidden of course, so an easy way to remove the enjoyment creeps get from derendering your clothing is just to alpha mask your most delicious body parts. Then they can derender all they like, but won't see what they're after. Keep that up for a day or two and some of the more persistent ones may get frustrated and f*** off. What a pain that my creep is a neighbor and I need to do this at home, where I'm normally clothes-free. With the alpha masking I look like a magician has sawed me in thirds. Meh. 

 

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1 hour ago, Waiomao said:

What a pain that my creep is a neighbor and I need to do this at home, where I'm normally clothes-free.

As others have mentioned though, you can set your parcel so that nobody outside the parcel can actually see any avatar that is inside the parcel.  Combine that with banning the specific neighbor jerk and he can't even get into the parcel to try peeking that way.

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4 hours ago, Waiomao said:

 he was able to derender items I was wearing, but not items I had put on with an applier (he was using Kokua viewer; may be something to do with that???).

For any mesh body where the "onion layers" are part of the mesh body (like Maitreya), no one can derender applied clothing without derendering the entire body (in which case, you're nearly invisible, since you're wearing a whole-body alpha on your system body).  For Altamura and probably some other makers, some "onion layers" are actually separate objects, and derendering them shows the mesh body, including whatever you may have applied to it.

This is true no matter what viewer a person is using.

Fwiw, I've (well, actually, my alt.  Nika is not inworld much) only been propositioned once in Belli.  He was a bit persistent, but after polite turn-downs that were ignored,  I told him:

"Not interested, never will be interested, no matter who or what you are.    I am muting you now.  If you contact me again IN ANY WAY, I will abuse report you to LL every time you do so."

Never heard from the guy again.

One thing that people used to do, particularly merchants, was partner with an alt.  Doesn't stop everything, but cuts it down.

 

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On 12/3/2019 at 5:35 PM, Waiomao said:

I only know this because he comments on what he has seen. Sure he's complimentary, but nice words and propositioning me don't help me feel less violated.

The thing to remember is that he is not being complimentary or nice. This is about power. He wants you to know he's been watching and he wants you to be uncomfortable about it. But he's wording it in a way that he thinks will make it harder for you to take action without feeling guilty, because after all, he said it nicely and can't you take a compliment. He's trying to manipulate you by using social conventions about politeness. There's nothing nice about that.

Block him, ban him, and never look back. If he comments on an alt asking why he was blocked, don't reply. Just block and ban the alt too. You don't owe him something because he worded his insults in a more manipulative way.

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According to the OP, she was ...

On 12/3/2019 at 12:35 PM, Waiomao said:

having a little personal fun

I'm making a guess that she meant she was masturbating. Without parcel privacy turned on. 

The dude probably saw, and IMed her to offer a helping hand. "No, thank you," is all the response that should be needed.  

If he continued pushing, then there is reason to be offended but she didn't say anything about him continuing after she'd declined his inquiry. She doesn't say anything about responding to him at all. 

If I had a hot neighbor doing the same thing, I might message him as well offering a hand. If he said no, I'd move on. You gotta shoot your shot. If it's a miss, so be it, but I'm not quite ready to label this guy a "creep", all things considered. 

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