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would you like your children to play second life?..

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2 hours ago, AyelaNewLife said:

And I wish my parents had the experience necessary to make that judgement when I was growing up.

This is a really interesting point. I did a fair bit of my growing up before computer games were around, my younger cousins had Space Invaders which is nothing compared to what the next generation had, and games keep increasing in intensity. If I hadn't lost my baby, he would have just turned 12, so very much the age of playing games at friends and wanting them at home too, and there are things about this age-violence-intensity interplay I can only guess at or take advice from others on.

These experiences must influence aspects of emotion, behaviour and personality (how can they not, everything else does), perhaps wiring in a need for that sort of intensity of experience. Parenting has always been tricky, but with the pace of changes these days it's like a pervasive set of uncontrolled experiments being run on subjects who don't even know they're taking part, much less gave consent.

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16 minutes ago, Bitsy Buccaneer said:

This is a really interesting point. I did a fair bit of my growing up before computer games were around, my younger cousins had Space Invaders which is nothing compared to what the next generation had, and games keep increasing in intensity. If I hadn't lost my baby, he would have just turned 12, so very much the age of playing games at friends and wanting them at home too, and there are things about this age-violence-intensity interplay I can only guess at or take advice from others on.

These experiences must influence aspects of emotion, behaviour and personality (how can they not, everything else does), perhaps wiring in a need for that sort of intensity of experience. Parenting has always been tricky, but with the pace of changes these days it's like a pervasive set of uncontrolled experiments being run on subjects who don't even know they're taking part, much less gave consent.

I grew up in that late-millennial cohort where the transition happened during my childhood and teen years. Gameboys and other consoles were around from about when I started school, but the internet wasn't really a part of my childhood. Whereas it was a massive part of my teen years, with social media taking off as I hit puberty and mobiles evolving from black-and-white to smartphones during my schooling. 

Everything was new and unexplored, and innocent in a way. "Don't meet people off the internet" was about as far as safety and wellbeing concerns went. While the pace of change hasn't really let up, I do think there's an awareness now that there are risks and harmful consequences to all this innovation, even if we're largely unsure as to exactly what those consequences are. Progress, but still with much progress to go.

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I realize I haven't actually answered the question here. No, I don't have kids, but I was one once, and remember how my parents handled it when I wanted to dive into certain things. 

I think a lot of this depends on the age of the child. Are they actually children, or grown adults?

If they're actually under 18, I just really don't think there is a lot here for kids, mainly because there aren't other kids here. I think they'd be bored to tears, and much of what we do in SL takes such a huge learning curve, they'd lose interest before they really figured things out. If they wanted to explore, if there weren't a minimum age to join SL, I wouldn't be opposed to letting them log in and goof around.

There was no internet when I was a kid, so my explorations of such things were limited. As far as encountering the adult content, I had six older brothers who were just terrible about knowing how to hide their nudie mags (the top shelf of the bathroom closet) so I was exposed pretty young. I wasn't scarred for life. I didn't understand most of what I saw, and would have had no idea how to do whatever it was they were doing, but I did enjoy looking at the pictures, and as I got older and DID understand, looking back at it now, I'm really happy I was educated in the way I was. It was just something two (or more) adults did and it wasn't shameful. I know damn good and well that my parents knew about the magazines (and later, VHS tapes) and know it wasn't just my brothers that looked at them and, er... used them. They never called us out or made any sort of a stink about it. My parents were really awesome, especially my mom, about bringing delicate subjects up in conversation in ways that weren't awkward. I'd like to think that if I had had kids, I'd be the same. 

I think it's safe to say that with the internet, kids are going to be exposed (and will go looking for) content much more explicit than anything in SL. I'd rather my kids be exposed to sexual content than violent content, so yeah, I'd be okay with them exploring SL. Sex is healthy and enjoyable, and there is nothing wrong with kink. I wouldn't want my kids to ever think that their sexuality was dirty or anything to be ashamed of. 

If the kids are over 18? Yeah, go for it. Have fun. I've loved my years in SL and I've gotten a lot out of it. If it was of interest to my kids, I absolutely wouldn't discourage them. 

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On 12/8/2019 at 3:31 PM, Beth Macbain said:

I realize I haven't actually answered the question here.

Well in fairness you probably forgot while in the middle of jumping all over my case. lol So we can say it's my fault if you want to. lol Looking back prior to our tiff I should have asked you that myself before we even got started on the conversation we had so I understood your mind set a little more before we engaged in that whole conversation. It may have been a lot more productive had I done so or had you started off with this prior to engaging in the rest of the conversation that took place. So I wanted to apologize to you for my part on it and say that I am sorry that I did not. I also wanted to say thank you for sharing your insights as well too. :)

On 12/8/2019 at 3:31 PM, Beth Macbain said:

*Everything else you just said.*

As far as everything else you just said whether I agree or disagree is irrelevant. It's neither here nor there. About to pay you a compliment now so I hope your sitting down. lol I merely just wanted to say that you said it well. ;)

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I do got to add this in for laughs though. I don't care if anyone thinks I am wrong for this because it was just to funny. lol While my kids could and would discuss sexuality with me I was not the type of parent that would freely let my kids have or have access to the dirty mags. and movies collection and things of that sort. No they had to hide their filth just like I had to hide mine when I was a kid. Those are the rules because I was that type of Dad that if you didn't have enough common sense to hide your stuff out of plain view or where I couldn't find it then I would be funny and take clear super glue and spot the pages and stick them together. Then I'd be like oh btw son I sorries I borrowed your mag. earlier and I don't know why, but some of the pages seem to be sticky now. You might want to find a better hiding spot in the future. lol Not even a minute later he'd be coming back out with it holding it up with two fingers saying you can have it Pops. Just keep it. I'm good. Lmao!!!!😁😎😂🤣

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My short answer would echo what others have said: If they were my adult children I would not care. If they were literal children (18 and under) I wouldn't allow it. And we all know why...

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It was months before I had pixel sex in SL. I had my mesh body by then, but system head. I decided to go looking just to see what the fuss was about. I went to Secret Beach, and got hit on by a guy who took me dancing somewhere quiet. I still remember his name although I never saw him after that encounter. Somewhat like doing it for the first time on holiday with someone you just met. It was no big deal.

 

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5 hours ago, Lana Holley said:

And we all know why...

   Bekause of zhe furries?!

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On 12/5/2019 at 4:49 PM, Velk Kerang said:

Let me get you correct on a few things here. lol When it comes to REAL LIFE they absolutely can. Don't get it confused. lol :D

When it comes to hey Pop how to I set up my little prim pee pee so I can go have the clicky sex with some random broad. No figure it out for yourself son. lol :D

When it comes to hey Pop how to I set up my little vajayjay so I can get poked by some idiots little prim pee pee. I don't wanna be talking about this crap. Figure it out for yourself my daughter. lol :D

Now if any of that is sad to you then I am sorry. I'll just have to be sad then. Lmao!!!! 🤣

You seem to be confusing honest 16+ year olds and those that lie about their age.  If my 17 year old came to me asking how to set up her SL bits i would have a long discussion with her about breaking the rules and what the consequences  would be. 

If you let your under 18 kids on SL without supervision, and let them freely roam as adults, you are part of the problem.

To everyone freaking over "OMG NO KIDZ ON SL!!!" 16 year olds are allowed in SL and are restricted to G sims. They are not allowed to have sex, nor are they allowed in areas where sex is permitted.. good lord, calm down.. 

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As others have said: Depends on the age of the kid. Abide by the age restrictions set by LL. Have a good discussion about Internet safety, which should be done way earlier than age 16 and regardless of interest in SL or not. If you think 18+ yr. old kids won't find sex stuff on the Internet, well, I have a bridge in San Francisco you could buy from me very cheaply.  I would also encourage the cool, creative possibilities, like photography and learning Photoshop, 3D mesh construction, scripting, live music, or things like money/resource management.

Short answer to the OP question: Yes. With caveats. Like lots of other things.

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On 12/11/2019 at 8:39 AM, Drake1 Nightfire said:

You seem to be confusing honest 16+ year olds and those that lie about their age.  If my 17 year old came to me asking how to set up her SL bits i would have a long discussion with her about breaking the rules and what the consequences  would be. 

If you let your under 18 kids on SL without supervision, and let them freely roam as adults, you are part of the problem.

To everyone freaking over "OMG NO KIDZ ON SL!!!" 16 year olds are allowed in SL and are restricted to G sims. They are not allowed to have sex, nor are they allowed in areas where sex is permitted.. good lord, calm down.. 

I am confused actually how you came to that conclusion mate. Maybe it's my fault. The story I shared I just shared for a laugh because it was a funny situation I had with mine. Beth's experiences she mentioned reminded me of it I didn't really mean for that to be associated with anything in particular.

As far as the topic itself I tried to elaborate a bit more clearly in one of my last replies where I personally was coming from on it. My kids are grown now so if they ever came to SL my attitude is so be it. It'll be because it's something they took an interest in and looked up on their own. Not because I recommended it to them. That's just me though. Am I over protective? Ya. Probably. It is what it is though. lol ;)

On the last part of what you said I don't think anyone is freaking out about it per say. People just feel the way they feel. Obviously everybody didn't agree in this thread and that's ok too.

I do want to point out though. Ya ever since they merged grids the age limit was changed to 16, but I remember back in the day when there was a lot of people that got banned prior to that left, right, and center and entire sims shut down over kids under 18 being on them. That's just for them being on the sim. Period. And anyone on the sim copping a ban to boot. So really if someone did freak out I honestly can't blame them. People spend way entirely to much money on this platform just to have it shut down and flushed down the toilet because of something out of their control. So to be frankly honest I wouldn't blame anybody if they did. Especially if they were around when all that happened and went down.

Maybe they mellowed out now days because you don't hear about it hardly anymore, but back in the day LL would shoot first and then ask questions later. If they even bother to do that much at all. Which usually they don't. So ya gotta wonder if any of them people ever got their accounts and stuff back. I seriously doubt it, but at the end of the day it's better to be safe then sorry. ;)

Edited by Velk Kerang
Corrections.

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omg. Do you know that we are no longer in the 18th century? Children walk free and unrestricted all over the internet from the age of 10-12 years. the fact that you prohibit them and punish them for violating a certain rule does not protect them with anything. It can only open their desire to do something. Do you remember the story of the forbidden fruit from Heaven? The solution is not to prohibit but to explain why certain things are not good or even dangerous.

let me tell you an old story of about 10 years, the kind of story that always happens "to a friend", when at the school of this friend one of the students came with new and interesting information: "you know that there is an internet game where can you do what you want, including sex? " Almost all the children made accounts and explored that game (We talk about open sim of course, not SL  :) ) A week later, the scandal broke out. Oripilated parents and teachers, quarrels and punishments in the principal's office, home punishments, etc. Only a few parents or teachers have really looked for the truth, explored the game to see what is really dangerous in it and what can bring positive in a child's life. too few parents stand by their children on the Internet, analyze what is happening and educate them to find the good things in the pile of *****.Some of the children at that time are working today as graphic artists  because they discovered photosop while making skins for games. There are many employees in the games industry precisely because they have seen beyond violence and shootings and have understood the mechanics of the game.and the list can go on. Is there a danger? Of course. But the same danger exists on the street, in real life. Weird people don't just exist on the internet. We find them in real life, on the street, at school, at work and unfortunately, sometimes even in our own family. In my view, the most important role of parents is to be with their children. To encourage everything that is good, and to explain what can be dangerous. There is always the excuse that "I do not have time to see what they are doing there, I have forbidden them to stay on the Internet and ready, I have escaped responsibility". We have the largest number of mothers under the age of 18 today, we have a generation of young people unprepared for life and we apologize for this because "others" are to blame, the internet and bad temptations lead to the wrong ways.

If you do not have time for the education of children, you are already wrong as a parent.

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Definitely not. And it has nothing to do with virtual sex, but with how the use of screen and internet affects the development of their psyche, and of course, physical development. 

Saying kids nowadays use Internet is not an excuse. I see the consequences of online gaming and excessive Internet use everyday at work

It's funny that the Silicon Valley guys don't allow their kids to have cell phones and restrict their computer's use

 

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Unlike most other online games, SL does allow you to create & display things with tools that can actually be used in the real world.

I can imagine if you allow your kids to play games in their rooms with the doors closed that SL could get bad. So could anything at that point.

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I would try to be like Lewis Luminos in my approach if I ever had kids that were interested in SL. Forbidding your children stuff without reason and telling them why it is harmful plus showing what the fuss is about never ends well. I would be glad to share a hobby and would try to navigate them in anyway they needed plus maybe advice if they came across dodgy people (but that could be anywhere on the internetz). We probably would not play together much as I do a lot of adult content that I would consider not a good family conversation topic nor would I like to know about their risque projects of any kind. After all, we both us and kids have different personal space and privacy requirements so while sharing a metaverse to rant about at dinner and go clubbing is fun, telling your spawns about how you hate the sexy roleplay they are in might be stomping right over their privacy (and vice versa). 

Kweopi's example reminded me of pre-internet age as kids absolutely will do weirdest things if they find topic interesting or their peers do. My cousin, at the age of 8, learned that you could call a phone number and a lady will let you pick various options and press buttons akin to some simple sexy roleplay. He was just interested in that, not the later sex chat bit but he still done it over and over again, racking up a grand in phone bills. His parents? Blamed grandma living with them as their kid was not interested in those things to them nor known about phone sex as far as they known. Yep, he shown me said number and it bored me so I completely forgot about it. I was more into browsing newspapers for sex sections or erotic story ones and then hid them. In result, 12 year old me bought out all the gossip mags in the shop for all their porn. 

Internet makes such things accessible more easier so you have to watch out if your kids do not go too far by accident but at the same time cannot completely stop them as it is a part necessary in human development so the best rule is to make sure they stick to their peer groups and do not get up into anything dangerous or beyond their understanding. With teenagers, the best you can do is to see to them not mingling with people wishing to manipulate and use them, still in a manner that does not invade their personal space. Tricky. 

Clearly, I still need experience of bringing up kids beyond babysitting cousins or nieces and nephews that are kids of said cousins. 

 

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Your role as a parent is to teach your kids how to handle the world, not hide them from the inevitable, once of course at a mental capacity to understand what it is you're teaching them....  And the reality is this is our world, Secondlife is just a branch of it. The people that exist in Secondlife are very real in real life. Here are the Pro's and Con's I see. 

Pros

1. Preparing them how to face inappropriate adults, and avenues they can take to protect themselves from online predators. 

2. How to be responsible with the internet and  keep their private information private. 

3. There are a lot of things that can and will go wrong. It is better now to learn how to handle them than when they get older.  (A mild example, breakups)

4. They will learn to communicate. It is a great platform for creative writing, building, and even offers a multitude of free classes for learning different languages and how to use desktop media. 

5. Money management, they will get to use money to purchase items, and be forced to make choices on things  they can afford and or earn money to get the things they want.  learning how to be a discerning buyer is absolutely relevant. 

6. It's a scriptors / coder paradise, and that's good job security.  And a great place to find if they have interest in doing such things. 

Cons:

1. SL does have an age limit. It's absolutely littered with pedophiles.  There are groups of Fetlife ones that wander SL specifically looking for children. And a lot of adults that play children that (from my experience don't attack me) Have deep rooted issues with their own childhoods and are probably not the type of people you would ideally desire your child to play with. Child avatars  are  adults in real world and are often 40yr old men. 

2. I suggest they play with their REAL life friends, and you buy  or rent them a place where they can be safe from strangers. They can still play the game, but in a controlled area you dedicate for them, with a list of approved only sims they can go to, with Adult settings not activated on their viewers. 

3. You will need to supervise their friends, and login yourself to  understand this 'game.' 

4. SL doesn't burn a lot of calories. 

5. They will see naked bodies all the time... SL is just slow to load T-shirts and pants. 

 

My parents had a very off hands approach to raising me, they gave me good advice but never lead by example.  I was able to observe life from another perspective and decide on my own  what consequences I thought were worth learning. If you keep them in a basket, then who do you trust to teach them when they are out of it?   Expose them so they are prepared for reality.  (This does not apply to porn.. I do not advocate that in any way shape or form.)   

P.S.

My outlook and opinion are not going to be debated here with everyone. We'd be here for an eternity we all have different experiences and outlooks, and outcomes from our rearing. The post asked for our opinions there you go.  We are all spliced  different and you just got to know your kids.  But what I said in my post is spoken from experience, not guesses or assumptions. And what I said about Fetlife Pedophile groups is real, have your doubts, but I'll continue knowing.  How or why I know is no shame of mine, but it is a reality.  You make your own post and comment on the topic, enjoy!

 

 

Edited by Beast Admiral

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37 minutes ago, Beast Admiral said:

Your role as a parent is to teach your kids how to handle the world, not hide them from the inevitable, once of course at a mental capacity to understand what it is you're teaching them....  And the reality is this is our world, Secondlife is just a branch of it. The people that exist in Secondlife are very real in real life. Here are the Pro's and Con's I see. 

Pros

1. Preparing them how to face inappropriate adults, and avenues they can take to protect themselves from online predators. 

2. How to be responsible with the internet and  keep their private information private. 

3. There are a lot of things that can and will go wrong. It is better now to learn how to handle them than when they get older.  (A mild example, breakups)

4. They will learn to communicate. It is a great platform for creative writing, building, and even offers a multitude of free classes for learning different languages and how to use desktop media. 

5. Money management, they will get to use money to purchase items, and be forced to make choices on things  they can afford and or earn money to get the things they want.  learning how to be a discerning buyer is absolutely relevant. 

 

1. As they have to be 16 to use SL, i would think they wont meet as many "inappropriate adults" as you seem to think inhabit SL.

2. Guaranteed that kids today know more about using the net than any adult. That being said, have you looked at tik tok, insta, or even FB lately? Teens have no filter and share everything online. 

3. I just.. what? 

4. Teens do that on so many other platforms already.. 

5. Riiiiight.. Like mommy and daddy wont give them a credit limit in SL. 

 

42 minutes ago, Beast Admiral said:

Cons:

1. SL does have an age limit. It's absolutely littered with pedophiles.  There are groups of Fetlife ones that wander SL specifically looking for children. And a lot of adults that play children that (from my experience don't attack me) Have deep rooted issues with their own childhoods and are probably not the type of people you would ideally desire your child to play with. Child avatars  are  adults in real world and are often 40yr old men. 

2. I suggest they play with their REAL life friends, and you buy  or rent them a place where they can be safe from strangers. They can still play the game, but in a controlled area you dedicate for them, with a list of approved only sims they can go to, with Adult settings not activated on their viewers. 

3. It's a scriptors / coder paradise, and that's good job security.  And a great place to find if they have interest in doing such things. 

4. You will need to supervise their friends, and login yourself to  understand this 'game.' 

5. SL doesn't burn a lot of calories. 

6. They will see naked bodies all the time... SL is just slow to load T-shirts and pants. 

 

 

 

1. What? Fetlife isnt about paedos? If you really think SL is "Littered" with paedos then you should report SL to the feds. 

2. As a teen they cant have adult settings turned on, they cant even have Moderate settings on. 

3. Not sure how that is a con.... Learning a skill that is useful in RL is a good thing.

4. Well duh.. you have to supervise their RL friends as well.

5. Neither does any video game... not saying SL is a video game as its not.. 

6. No, no they wont.. With BOM i rarely see naked bodies anymore.. 

 

Do you have kids? You make a bunch of assumptions about kids today that just arent true.. 

47 minutes ago, Beast Admiral said:

My parents had a very off hands approach to raising me, they gave me good advice but never lead by example.  I was able to observe life from another perspective and decide on my own  what consequences I thought were worth learning. If you keep them in a basket, then who do you trust to teach them when they are out of it?   Expose them so they are prepared for reality.  (This does not apply to porn.. I do not advocate that in any way shape or form.) 

SL isnt reality... It is so far from reality that anyone using it to teach children what RL is about is a moron..  

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On 1/12/2020 at 8:23 AM, Drake1 Nightfire said:

As they have to be 16 to use SL,

Quote

Second Life is generally for adults 18 years and older; however, if you are 13 years of age or older you can use Second Life with some restrictions. If you're:

  • 16-17 years old you can access regions and search results that have a General maturity rating.
  • 13-15 years old, you can access Second Life through an affiliated organization and will be restricted to the private estate of that organization. Only avatars approved by that organization will be able to enter these estates. You can't use Second Life search or purchase items from the Marketplace.

http://wiki.secondlife.com/wiki/Linden_Lab_Official:Teens_in_Second_Life

Edited by Selene Gregoire
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1 hour ago, Selene Gregoire said:

 

1 hour ago, Selene Gregoire said:

Second Life is generally for adults 18 years and older; however, if you are 13 years of age or older you can use Second Life with some restrictions. If you're:

  • 16-17 years old you can access regions and search results that have a General maturity rating.
  • 13-15 years old, you can access Second Life through an affiliated organization and will be restricted to the private estate of that organization. Only avatars approved by that organization will be able to enter these estates. You can't use Second Life search or purchase items from the Marketplace.

Seeing as 13-15 year olds cant see or interact with regular users of SL.... I kept my statement to users who can see and interact with anyone in SL. So long as their account is not rated M or A, such as yours which is rated G. 

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38 minutes ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

such as yours which is rated G. 

It is? Where? 

My profile rating might be but there is no rating for the account itself.

Edited by Selene Gregoire

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3 minutes ago, Selene Gregoire said:

It is? Where? 

My profile rating might be but there is no rating for the account itself.

SL search.. 

39293c4a43270af26299933e520bd325.png

Some people are rated A.. Which i would assume RL teens cant interact with. or i should say, i hope they cant.. 

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20 minutes ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

SL search.. 

39293c4a43270af26299933e520bd325.png

Some people are rated A.. Which i would assume RL teens cant interact with. or i should say, i hope they cant.. 

That's the profile rating which is something I can set. That's not what LL uses to prevent underage from accessing mature and adult sims/regions. That's a user profile setting, which, presumably, LL does not allow verified underage accounts to change. 

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5 hours ago, Selene Gregoire said:

That's the profile rating which is something I can set. That's not what LL uses to prevent underage from accessing mature and adult sims/regions. That's a user profile setting, which, presumably, LL does not allow verified underage accounts to change. 

Where is the setting to change that? 

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10 minutes ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

Where is the setting to change that? 

Somewhere in the web profile settings. It's been years since I set mine so I don't recall where exactly, off hand. I didn't do it through a viewer. If I think about it tomorrow, I'll take a look. Too tired tonight to mess with it.

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I wish I had seen this post earlier.  I'd LOVE to have my kids join me in SL.  They are already a members of several online communities and their interests run the gamut from cosplay, to furry, to LGBT issues, to fashion, art, science, science fiction and fantasy.  One likes to write, one likes acting, 2 can immerse themselves in science talks, one likes all things tech and would probably try a hand at creating something if given the opportunity. All my kids are currently in college so they are all adults and perfectly capable of realizing that there are many ways that adults have fun. They are certainly mature enough to teleport away, block someone that makes them uncomfortable or close the viewer window.

One of the kids asked me years ago what I was doing online.  I said I'm in SecondLife.  They said, "Isn't that some sort of weird sex place?"  I said, "It is for some people."

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