The Men Who Have Made a Difference in Your Life

[Scylla Rhiadra]

2 hours ago, FairreLilette said:

He was the most understanding and caring person aside from my Mom I've ever meet.  And, he always made us laugh yet he was not afraid to cry.

And, he was a "family man".  He always loved being around his family.  Country Roads by John Denver was his favorite song.

Hate John Denver.

Love your father: he sounds lovely. As does the rest of your family. Thanks for sharing your story, Lilette.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

2 hours ago, ThorinII said:

I mentioned before that he taught and encouraged me to think for myself, to form my own opinions, to question everything instead of just accept given answers.

I love stories about people who are principled without being ideologues. People who, like your grandfather, hold to ideals, but apply them in humane ways in their dealings with actual people, instead of wielding them like cudgels. He sounds like he was a wonderful person. (And he'd probably make a great subject for a movie.)

2 hours ago, ThorinII said:

When I had a look at my Stasi files in mid-1992, I had to learn that I not only was under surveillance by several IM's since my teenage years for being "politically inconvenient" - I even was destined to be sent to an internment camp if the GDR had existed a few years longer.

Well, that's kind of terrifying. Here's to the recently-passed 30th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall. The passing of that regime had a much more personal significance to you than even you knew at the time, evidently.

Thanks for sharing this!

[Charles Blackwood]

@ThorinII It seems you and I share a common History and I love the fact that people are not that much different in the end. I remember that while my dad was in prison, the East German priests would receive food and clothing for the family of anyone interned. The US government, under Ronald Regan, would send parcels to West Germany through the Catholic Church and those western priests would smuggle the food to their eastern counterparts. Those eastern counterparts would either deliver the food to Poland or it was picked up.That was our only source of food while my dad was away. My dad was also a professional photographer and he bought his first and only camera from East Germany. I still have it - the PRAKTINA.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on your grandfather. Him and my dad would have gotten along, perhaps not at first (laugh), but we are a lot more alike than we care to notice and admit.

I also love your independence and bravery. This is a post about men, but I can just as easily tell the world about the great women I know.

[FairreLilette]

8 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Hate John Denver.

Love your father: he sounds lovely. As does the rest of your family. Thanks for sharing your story, Lilette.

lol, Scylla

I love John Denver...my whole family does.   

My family just loves music.  My father was the opening act for many musical groups at the comedy clubs....so I grew up around musicians playing in our home on weekend get-togethers.  I grew up around celebrities and they are people just the same as us...they have families, relationships and they have "issues" with life just like anyone else.

I grew up singing folk music with my family...we sang together as a family too.  The first song I think I learned was "Blowin' In the Wind".   We sang together every weekend with family and friends.  He truly was a family man.  A simple man.

And, he wouldn't just walk ten miles for you...he'd walk 12, and even 15 if you really needed it.

I think one the greatest gifts he possessed was his ability to help everyone and anyone understand it is okay to be you...there is no need to agree on a like for John Denver nor anything.  Those are just preferences...but my Dad always found something to entertain someone with.  He was a very entertaining person who was an incredible cook as well.  

My father had an open door policy and actually never locked the doors to his home until it was time to go to sleep...our home was always filled with people.  Being a Psychologist, my Dad was on 24/7 call...but the answering service took over once it was time for the family to go to sleep.  However, if anyone needed him in the middle of the night...he'd be there.  He was always there for anyone and everyone with a true open door policy and a my home is your home...come on in!  

 

[Paul Hexem]

11 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

So, that said . . . do you have a story Gadget? I ask quite seriously (you know that I'm never facetious, right?): I'd love to hear it.

Actually I do.

Everyone's mentioning their dads, which is practically a given if you have a decent dad. Mine was, still is, a good guy.

But I had an instructor back in school, many many years ago. US Marine turned Architect that could never wrap his head around technology. Besides teaching me to use a pencil, and really teaching the meaning of the word standards, the guy always had some little helpful tip for everyday life. Little so called lifehacks that should have been insignificant have stuck with me, decades later. That's a lasting, positive impact.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

3 hours ago, Gadget Portal said:

Actually I do.

Everyone's mentioning their dads, which is practically a given if you have a decent dad. Mine was, still is, a good guy.

But I had an instructor back in school, many many years ago. US Marine turned Architect that could never wrap his head around technology. Besides teaching me to use a pencil, and really teaching the meaning of the word standards, the guy always had some little helpful tip for everyday life. Little so called lifehacks that should have been insignificant have stuck with me, decades later. That's a lasting, positive impact.

Thanks, Gadget: I enjoyed both of your stories instances! And how lovely that you've still got your dad. I do too, although he's ailing a bit. I've come to the realization, slowly and reluctantly, that there is going to come a time when I'm going to have to say goodbye. It's a hard thing to face up to.

I had some great men teachers and profs too (although, unsurprisingly, I have had some who were less than my favourite people too). Some of them were just really good at teaching, but there were others who combined that with something like a mentoring role. In fact, now I think about it, the ones who were probably most supportive to me were, with one or two signal and important exceptions, men. Huh, interesting.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

7 hours ago, FairreLilette said:

I think one the greatest gifts he possessed was his ability to help everyone and anyone understand it is okay to be you...there is no need to agree on a like for John Denver nor anything.  Those are just preferences...but my Dad always found something to entertain someone with.  He was a very entertaining person who was an incredible cook as well.

Someone like that I'm willing to forgive a lot . . . even John Denver.

I love that your family sort of bonded on music. One of the things that I cell phones and streaming services and ear buds has accomplished, maybe, is making music a solitary rather than a social thing. I love music too -- but hate my father's taste in it. I try to overlook his love of Gorden Lightfoot, though.

[Lindal Kidd]

Hey, some of us LIKE Gordon Lightfoot!

And if you don't like Gordon Lightfoot, you REALLY won't like David Mallett.

 

[Scylla Rhiadra]

51 minutes ago, Lindal Kidd said:

Hey, some of us LIKE Gordon Lightfoot!

For your sake, and my dad's, I'll try not to wrinkle my nose too much over the Canadian Railroad Trilogy.

Do I need to listen to David Mallett to actually confirm that I'll hate him? Or can we just take it on faith? (Please.)

[FairreLilette]

1 hour ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Someone like that I'm willing to forgive a lot . . . even John Denver.

I love that your family sort of bonded on music. One of the things that I cell phones and streaming services and ear buds has accomplished, maybe, is making music a solitary rather than a social thing. I love music too -- but hate my father's taste in it. I try to overlook his love of Gorden Lightfoot, though.

Yeah, I'd say it's unusual for a family to like a lot of music together, let alone to share it every weekend like we did.

He had a love of the original Blues artists, too...though didn't introduce us kids to the Blues until we were in our early teens or thereabouts.  My Mom and Dad listened to Jazz and Blues when I was little and supposed to be sleeping and they would slow dance together to it.  I saw them peeking through our hallway door dancing in the living room and hearing the blues when I was a little thing....but it was later that I was actually introduced to the Blues.  

As far as me, believe it or not, my favorite music is Classical and my Mom and I enjoyed Classical music together later after my Father's passing.  I introduced Classical to my Mom and it became part of her every day morning routine.  Our Classical radio music station in L.A. is over 70 years old now and is free on the internet at KUSC.  

[Akane Nacht]

I don't really pay attention to International Days of *Whatever* and make a point to tell people I appreciate them often. Having lost a couple family members suddenly it seemed a good habit. Actually all of the male family and friends in my life have made a positive difference - highlights would be my artist Dad, my psychologist husband, and my big bro who has Down's Syndrome (and is a an epic troll and party animal). The Universe has been kind to me, to put me amongst such joyful people.

ps. in case I missed International Forum Posters day, I appreciate all of you and your funny/interesting/informative/peculiar posts.  😀

[FairreLilette]

p.s  I haven't read through the tread yet.  I am just getting a start.  You have a lovely way with words, Scylla, regarding your opening post.  

It's holiday season upon us and juggling a lot of things but will catch up with reading all soon.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

3 hours ago, FairreLilette said:

p.s  I haven't read through the tread yet.  I am just getting a start.  You have a lovely way with words, Scylla, regarding your opening post.  

It's holiday season upon us and juggling a lot of things but will catch up with reading all soon.

Thank you! What a sweet thing to say!

Enjoy your juggling (I've only ever been able to manage "dropping," myself), and the rest of the thread when you have a moment. There are some lovely stories here.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

4 hours ago, Akane Nacht said:

The Universe has been kind to me, to put me amongst such joyful people.

And I also -- sometimes I need to be reminded how very lucky I am. I am glad you are too!

[Lindal Kidd]

1 hour ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Thank you! What a sweet thing to say!

Enjoy your juggling (I've only ever been able to manage "dropping," myself), and the rest of the thread when you have a moment. There are some lovely stories here.

I actually learned how to juggle from this book!

[Bree Giffen]

I think Santa Claus would have to be one of those important men. Bringing all those gifts on his sleigh every Christmas. I didn't even have a chimney in my house.

[Stranger Hoxley]

On 11/19/2019 at 11:16 PM, BelindaN said:

Oh boy! I don't know my father. He left when I was three, after having an affair with my mothers teenage cousin. I saw him rarely until I was ten, but have only unpleasant memories. He lives a mile away and we are strangers. My grandfather died suddenly when I was seven. My mother had men friends for a long time but I never got on with any of them.

This all sounds very dark, and yet........ my growing up made me strong, and independent. The only person I could rely on was me. I had to fix things. I learned skills, often the hard way. It made me a survivor, and so my father, by being who he was had a profound positive effect on who I am. Had he been around, there would have been conflict.

Hey Belinda. I responded to your input with a "sad" face but actually it is tears of joy when I read it. Many people would turn it into a problem after such a traumatic experience and be sad for the rest of their lives. You made an advantage of it and you became an independent woman. How to turn something negative into something positive. Maybe that is your strength!

[Scylla Rhiadra]

9 hours ago, Bree Giffen said:

I think Santa Claus would have to be one of those important men. Bringing all those gifts on his sleigh every Christmas. I didn't even have a chimney in my house.

I think I knew from a pretty early age that . . .

<SPOILER ALERT!!>

. . . Santa was a polite fiction.

Which was useful information: it's good to know who to suck up to in November and December.

[Lindal Kidd]

6 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

. . . Santa was a polite fiction.

NOOOOOOOOO!

[Storm Clarence]

My dad was the greatest man I knew.  He was and is without peer.   I miss him.

But I want to address something a little different.  Insofar as forum personalities (and we are posting in the forum): Pep Daniels had a tremendous influence on my forum persona.  He 'taught' me to read threads; to understand and respond in coherent and proper English.  He taught me how to write; as the English write.  I have always respected this in him. 

And there are also several women whom have had this influence, but we are talking about males in this OP.

PS And I expect the wrath which will ensue. . .

[Scylla Rhiadra]

14 minutes ago, Storm Clarence said:

My dad was the greatest man I knew.  He was and is without peer.   I miss him.

But I want to address something a little different.  Insofar as forum personalities (and we are posting in the forum): Pep Daniels had a tremendous influence on my forum persona.  He 'taught' me to read threads; to understand and respond in coherent and proper English.  He taught me how to write; as the English write.  I have always respected this in him. 

And there are also several women whom have had this influence, but we are talking about males in this OP.

PS And I expect the wrath which will ensue. . .

Thanks for posting this Storm.

No wrath. At least, not from me. No one here is in a position to dispute Pep's positive influence on you, and I wouldn't want to try. It is what it is, and I take your word for it. That Pep had a less benign impact on others, and most especially on women here, is another issue, and not one in any case that I see any value in pursuing.

[Storm Clarence]

1 minute ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Thanks for posting this Storm.

No wrath. At least, not from me. No one here is in a position to dispute Pep's positive influence on you, and I wouldn't want to try. It is what it is, and I take your word for it. That Pep had a less benign impact on others, and most especially on women here, is another issue, and not one in any case that I see any value in pursuing.

Scylla, you are one of the women I was referring to above. 

[Scylla Rhiadra]

1 minute ago, Storm Clarence said:

Scylla, you are one of the women I was referring to above. 

Thank you, Storm. That is sweet of you, and I appreciate it, genuinely.

[Pamela Galli]

It’s a toss up between Adam Schiff and my husband, who is not only adorable, and tender hearted, but reads a lot of history, biographies, and philosophy, which makes him an interesting conversationalist and travel companion. 

[Gregorian Chant]

The man who had the most impact on my life is my dad.  He's the reason I turned out relatively normal.  He didn't come from a family rich enough to be unaffected by the Great Depression, and his family tree isn't cool enough to have a coat of arms.  He had zero experience as a first-time parent when I was born, but he did the best he could with the understanding and awareness he had.  If there's one thing he knows, it's that education is pretty important stuff.  He placed and still places great emphasis on it.  He always said that education is the key to empowerment and success in life.  Learning is lifelong.  One shouldn't assume that they are done with learning after graduation because it truly never ends; that's how dumbasses get left behind.