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Making SL more welcoming to males


Bree Giffen
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7 hours ago, Tolya Ugajin said:

Setting aside the speculation about a large percentage of female avatars being run by male RL humans, there certainly seem to be more female avatars than male, but most of the biggest places cater to the sexual appetites of men.

Agreed. I think SL is already incredibly welcoming to men. Yet if anyone imagines a way to make it even more so, I am sure the idea will be implemented quickly. 

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8 hours ago, Tolya Ugajin said:

Tilted towards feminine?  I suppose it depends on how you define "tilted". 

Setting aside the speculation about a large percentage of female avatars being run by male RL humans, there certainly seem to be more female avatars than male, but most of the biggest places cater to the sexual appetites of men.

it's not a speculation, many female avas are run by men in rl, doing webcam i know it, anyway is what you get in sites like this and SL is welcoming to males honestly.

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7 minutes ago, Candypinup said:

... and SL is welcoming to males honestly.

I would say it is welcoming to both genders and there is a lot of places who cater just to any fantasy/desire and that isn't only the male one. Of course each gender has to put a bit effort into the game. A good avie is only one part and it might not be the most important one.

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34 minutes ago, Gadget Portal said:

I've now read the whole 18 pages. SL isn't any more welcoming to me, but it's given me some great ideas for custom tailored pickup lines that I may send out next time I'm in world. 

Get your coat, you've pulled.

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19 hours ago, Tolya Ugajin said:

Nor could there be, and asking for one is simply foolish.  The SL world is "owned" and there is no way a truly free press could exist when quite literally the printing presses and airwaves are owned by a vested corporate interest.  If your misguided crusade against Gor were to result in a significant loss of premium members, you can bet the "publisher" of your little free press would shut you down right quick. 

You don't want a "free press", Prok, you simply want a bigger soap box on which to stand to spew your viewpoint and to "shame" those you disagree with.  Very Stalinist of you.

"From 1973 through 2008, nine surveys of women's rape fantasies have been published. They show that about four in 10 women admit having them (31 to 57 percent) with a median frequency of about once a month. The actual prevalence of rape fantasies is probably higher because women may not feel comfortable admitting them. " 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-sex/201001/womens-rape-fantasies-how-common-what-do-they-mean

It took me under a minute to google that information, a very minimal amount or work to find information from a credible source on a subject you seem to be incensed about.  Perhaps you should try it before condemning people.  The percentage of women with rape fantasies is around 10 times the percentage who identify as homosexual, yet to you it's something to be publicly shamed.  Why?  40 years ago, people like you did exactly the same to people who came out as gay, and here you are engaging in the same thing. Fortunately, most of us have evolved enough to not condemn people for engaging in consensual actions that do not affect us.

Any ideology that involves hatred and violence and subjugation of women *should* be condemned, and condemning Gor, BDSM, capture roleplay etc. is a good thing. It's not about me needing a soapbox or even about me, as many people share these views and indeed, this behavior is a crime in RL, like it or not. It's fine to shame people with these violent and criminal views. That's how you maintain civilization. Stalin is the opposite of civilization and himself justified violence and slavery.

A survey of some limited number of people put in a popular magazine doesn't prove anything, and even if there was some rigorous scientific study, it doesn't mean this is something to be encouraged.

I'll go on condemning violence and slavery because these are antithetical to freedom and civilization. Yes, it should be shamed. Deal with it. It's not about being evolved, but backward.

 

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On 11/19/2019 at 8:58 PM, Tarina Sewell said:

Why is it you think that there are so many bdsm and gor players in sl?

Because people have a propensity for doing what they are told, and some don't have enough inner drive to make their own way, and want to be told what to do.

Some like being contrarian to what the prevailing norms are.

The changes in culture have come very rapidly in the last 50-100 years, much faster than other times in human history, and this has been painful for some and they wish to resist it and have a place to enact the old ways. 

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1 minute ago, Prokofy Neva said:

Because people have a propensity for doing what they are told, and some don't have enough inner drive to make their own way, and want to be told what to do.

Some like being contrarian to what the prevailing norms are.

The changes in culture have come very rapidly in the last 50-100 years, much faster than other times in human history, and this has been painful for some and they wish to resist it and have a place to enact the old ways. 

You think people have been interested in spanking and bondage for only the last 50-100 years?

(I'll leave the rest for now, don't have the energy.)

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On 11/21/2019 at 6:38 PM, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I think it would be a pretty crippling blow to SL to provide tools that sacrifice the current ability to experiment and explore identities, merely to placate those who succumb to moral panic at the thought that they can't be certain of the set of genitalia attached to those with whom they are associating.

This is a seriously bad idea, and one that, happily, isn't going to fly or find much support here.

I'm actually quite genuinely surprised that you would suggest it, Prok. I hadn't taken you for one of the A/S/L types.

I'm telling you the truth. A lot of relationships are destroyed when someone finds out the person of their dreams is the "wrong" gender. Ordinary men are creeped by the idea they may hook up with the "wrong" gender.

You wanted to know how to attract more men, and I'm telling you the answer, like it or not.

I don't care about someone's A/S/L myself. It's not my purpose or interest in SL.

 I'm telling you that if you wanted SL to have more men in it, you would have to provide them with more assurances that they weren't coupling with other men, as that can get them seriously angry and crazy. So you could have that path in SL, that it is more like a real life dating site attached to social media. And you can have the other path such as it is now. But social media and RL never really took off related to SL because the base population wants it to be a masked ball.

But again, if the question is "how to attract more men," you need to ensure that there are more verifiable females.

The idea that you don't have to do this, or that you shouldn't do this for ideological reasons, means that you won't attract more men. So it's up to you, what your goal is.

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2 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:

You think people have been interested in spanking and bondage for only the last 50-100 years?

(I'll leave the rest for now, don't have the energy.)

That's silly.

That's not the topic.

The topic is, why, in our emancipated time when women are equal and have their rights, do some women wish to set the clock back. And some men revert to a less civilized time. And people in our age, who live in our time, did not adjust to the cultural changes that made the normalized bondage of marriage and relations between the sexes more obsolete.

 

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2 minutes ago, Prokofy Neva said:

That's silly.

That's not the topic.

The topic is, why, in our emancipated time when women are equal and have their rights, do some women wish to set the clock back. And some men revert to a less civilized time. And people in our age, who live in our time, did not adjust to the cultural changes that made the normalized bondage of marriage and relations between the sexes more obsolete.

 

I really don't have time to go into great detail but I'll just say that I want one thing in the board room and another in the bedroom, with the right, chosen person. While some people can't tell the difference, enough of them can. And marriage is usually a good protection for a lower earning, child rearing spouse in case of death or relationship breakdown. It's only a legal contract, the rest is bells and whistles.

 

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4 hours ago, Prokofy Neva said:

Some blathering nonsense

 

Let me make this simple for you, Prok.  What happens between 2 consenting adults is none of your business. 

The article linked to referenced 9 studies over decades.  You didn't bother to read it because you feel safer in your willful ignorance.

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17 hours ago, Candypinup said:

it's not a speculation, many female avas are run by men in rl, doing webcam i know it, anyway is what you get in sites like this and SL is welcoming to males honestly.

Imagine an erotic film with a male director steering the action. Not much different. So, SL is welcoming to males including those  interested in playing the role of choreographer.

I mentioned gender here because the topic is gendered: "Making SL more welcoming to males"

Edited by Erwin Solo
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9 hours ago, Prokofy Neva said:

The topic is, why, in our emancipated time when women are equal and have their rights, do some women wish to set the clock back.

I'm a very ardent feminist, and also prefer shared power whenever possible. But the freedom from male/female stereotypes that inhibit either gender is not what this is about.  Power is something to be reckoned with throughout life, and by splitting roles into those with power vs those without one can more easily come to terms with it -- because by delineating the opposite roles clearly it's easier to see the dynamics.  In other words, I see people (at least many of them) becoming more aware of themselves through these experiences, and learn to cope with power/lack of power in all facets of life. 

That doesn't mean, of course, that there's not abuse, nor does it mean people don't get stuck and learn nothing, nor does it mean some are not just playing a silly game and not developing awareness.

Edited by Luna Bliss
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9 hours ago, Prokofy Neva said:

The topic is, why, in our emancipated time when women are equal and have their rights, do some women wish to set the clock back.

Because it's my choice, Prok. Not yours, not anyone else's. No one forces me to do anything I don't want to do. You don't have to approve, or accept, or understand it. I am equal to anyone on this planet and I have my rights, yes, and it is my right to engage in any legal behavior I want. 

Why are you trying to set the clock back by taking away my right to choose? 

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