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Let's take a look at what you tagged this post with, shall we?

Experience, as others have said. Try being a female in SL for a while, it can be a constant "Hi. ... You want to have slex?" Also, ya just might want to look at your name? "Krave4it"? That has se

Nobody said its exactly the same thing, but now both have a similarity: Women getting told to shut up, because a man is annoyed. 

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@Madelaine McMasters:  You're pretty good looking for a pyromaniac demon!

@Krave4it:  Don't get up so high on your horse, pal.  The reason we immediately think that a "Hi" is about sex is from actual experience.  Try making a female alt and see for yourself how often it is exactly about that.  After you've been hit on a couple hundred times (most of them starting with "Hi") I bet you'll have a pretty short fuse too.

It's not just the "Hi", either.  Your username is also suggestive, or at least it is to a low and depraved mind like mine.

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40 minutes ago, Gadget Portal said:

Just turn off your AO, wear a system avatar, and bump into them 2 or 3 times as you say hello. All women in SL like that.

Be still my beating heart.

I Want You Flirt GIF

Edited by Cindy Evanier
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13 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:

That's obviously a great attitude to have. I'm just saddened because it would seem that, even when you're open about being an RL male at the first appropriate moment, you still never get anything other than hostile homophobia or harassment. That you've never had them simply politely excuse themselves and wish you well, not once.

Noo... I get plenty of positive contact too, it's certainly not a case of hostility and homophobia everywhere I go.  However, the friendly/non-homophobic ones never begin contact with "Hi, how are you?"  And that's specifically what the OP's question relates to.

The best ones are when I'm dressed up in some outlandish fantasy avatar and someone compliments me on my look. That nearly always ends with a friendly and enjoyable conversation.

 

5 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

I think you're pretty good looking for a guy, for a gal, for a queer, etc... but probably not for a furry.

How'd I do?

Three out of four, not bad.

furry_002.thumb.png.39b823d29754c325262281c8cc256284.png

Rawr.

 

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51 minutes ago, Gadget Portal said:

Just turn off your AO, wear a system avatar, and bump into them 2 or 3 times as you say hello. All women in SL like that.

They like it in Gor, too, just so you know. They also like it when men turn up in My Little Pony hotpants and sparkly rainbow bras too. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but it's Gorean code for a man to display how at ease he is with his natural sexuality, that it remains intact no matter what. It's all there over 50000 pages in that most seminal of the texts, Wazzocks of Gor. 

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15 hours ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

No, we can’t agree on that. You’ve already determined it doesn’t work well and there are threads here explaining why. I don’t think, in my eleven years here, I’ve ever used that approach. 

      And I have proof in the bowl of googly eyes that are spilled all over the floor in my SL house.

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   However this thread was intended, I'm going to treat it as an earnest discussion. Perhaps some readers can gain insight from it. Perhaps not. Let's find out.

  I'm actually fine with the occasional "Hi, how are you?" Though it's not very creative or original. Just be prepared for an equally creative reciprocal "I'm fine, thanks." In many of these cases, it is my experience that the first party won't know how to carry on the conversation, and it will end there.

   In times past, I've also sometimes replied to such oligosyllabic one-liners with something much more creative and, in my opinion, fun. These responses have led, into conversations of varying lengths, to various results.

   "You talk too much."

   "Why do you use so many big words?"

   "So... are you like smart or something?"

   These were all places where the conversations ended.

   @Krave4it, regardless of the medium, be it in SL or in some other virtual world, or even in RL for that matter, everyone has experiences that inform their expectations. They create their own standards and exercise personal gatekeeping. It's one of the many ways in which we all try to make life easier. Because for heaven's sake, it's hard sometimes.

   If you want different responses, whatever your intentions, Be different.

   

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As someone who predominantly runs around on feminine avatars and has that girly squeaky voice that refuses to go away, I'll add my two lindens.

I have extreme social anxiety and tend to mind my own business when I'm out and about. There are some occasions where I'll say hello to someone to simply ask what they're wearing because I like it and want to know where it came from, but most of the time I'm just wandering around and eyeballing everything.

Most of the time I'll say something back if I receive a message, but it depends on the situation and what they said. What I've experienced in the past determines how I'm going to react going on, and if I don't feel comfortable or it's plainly obvious what they're after, I'm not going to respond. There's also been some extremes, where my response was just to log off for the night because it straight up spooked me. The last time I went shopping for goth clothing I was approached by a man demanding I be their RL girlfriend and then immediately threatened suicide right after.

I tend to also not reply when I'm out at events that have adult themes to them, such as Kinky or XXX, because it's pretty much the same "Hi -> Flirt/Intimate Question" routine. Same for any adult themed stores.

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1 hour ago, Ivanova Shostakovich said:

oligosyllabic

I had to google that one... I got polysyllabic instead. What's oligosyllabic? 

Quote
Medical Definition of Oligo- (prefix)

Oligo- (prefix😞 Means just a few or scanty. From the Greek "oligos', few, scanty. Examples of terms starting with oligo- include oligodactyly (few fingers), oligohydramnios (too little amniotic fluid) and oligospermia (too few sperm).

Well... that kind of makes sense. Kind of. O.o xD

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OP, so many people have responded, so IDK if my comment will have weight -- but here it goes:

There is a particular form of socialization that is unique to SL -- it has its own dialect (complete with slang, abbreviations, etc), unlike other modes of online or in-person communications. The things you are describing are not implicit to women on SL -- anyone who has been here a while generally expects a more nuanced approach to discussion. My RL bf, who has been on SL much longer than myself, can attest to the fact bland "Hello"s, "Hi"s and "What're you up to?"s do not reflect well on the messenger.

Sure, "Hi, how're you?" is a perfectly acceptable greeting on other platforms or settings, but not in SL. Many have explained that that phrase bears a heavy connotation of sexual solicitation on this platform. Most user experiences would dictate that it doesn't allude to nor elicit an interest in general discussion -- it is a pick-up line here, unless spoken in local chat or IMs with a close friend.

Not everyone is interested in dating or finding romantic hook-ups in SL, and in order to tread water more easily to figure out if a person is actually interested it's good to make general discussion first. Pick a topic about their avatar, the sim you're on -- make note and comment on something they've posted in their profile -- anything that is not a generalized or shallow greeting. 

Edited by KirinGale
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