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On 11/10/2019 at 10:31 PM, Krave4it said:

Experience !!.It seems that all the experience in the world that one might have will never change what women do think ..when a man is only looking to say Hi 

If you are interested, you might type keywords like these into your favorite search engine: psychology today female competition.  Perhaps vary the words depending on your interest.  For example, adding the word "academic" changes the mix of articles.

One of the common competitive techniques is to articulate and support norms of low-availability in public discourse to reduce competition, and then provide substantially more availability in private to gain competitive advantage.  

Like many behaviors, observation in arranged social experiments provides significantly different results than those gained through direct questionnaires (e.g., your OP question here).  The key point is not that people are dishonest in questionnaires--though there does seem to be a level of 'spin' in questionnaire responses--rather it seems that the subconscious drives much of the behavior. 

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Let's take a look at what you tagged this post with, shall we?

Experience, as others have said. Try being a female in SL for a while, it can be a constant "Hi. ... You want to have slex?" Also, ya just might want to look at your name? "Krave4it"? That has se

Nobody said its exactly the same thing, but now both have a similarity: Women getting told to shut up, because a man is annoyed. 

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2 hours ago, Erwin Solo said:

One of the common competitive techniques is to articulate and support norms of low-availability in public discourse to reduce competition, and then provide substantially more availability in private to gain competitive advantage.  

I love it when you talk dirty.

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On 11/10/2019 at 6:59 PM, Krave4it said:

I often wonder why do so many women think immediately about sex when you say

"Hi, how are you"

I am a Dinkie now.  A Dinkie is a tiny cat with human traits.  Would you say "Hi" to me, a Dinkie?  

And, if you wouldn't say "Hi, how are you?"...why not if I may ask?  

And, if you are looking to have a conservation and not sex...then what makes my Dinkie avatar inferior as a person to chat with? 

I'm just wondering about that.  

But, anyhow if you are looking for sex...there are sims for that.  

Snapshot_924 (2).png

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3 hours ago, FairreLilette said:

I am a Dinkie now.  A Dinkie is a tiny cat with human traits.  Would you say "Hi" to me, a Dinkie?  

I'll gladly say hi to you if you can script, or run photoshop, substance painter, substance designer, blender or maya. 

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8 hours ago, FairreLilette said:

I am a Dinkie now.  A Dinkie is a tiny cat with human traits.  Would you say "Hi" to me, a Dinkie?

   To me it's not about how your avatar looks, but rather what's in your profile. But I had never heard about a 'Dinkie' before now.

   Do Dinkies like Twinkies?

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8 hours ago, FairreLilette said:

I am a Dinkie now.  A Dinkie is a tiny cat with human traits.  Would you say "Hi" to me, a Dinkie?  

If i see we have some common interests, views and you come over as a mature person when i am reading your profile, why not?

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2 hours ago, Orwar said:

   To me it's not about how your avatar looks, but rather what's in your profile. But I had never heard about a 'Dinkie' before now.

   Do Dinkies like Twinkies?

That's coool you and other's would say Hi.  

Do Dinkies like Twinkies?  Maybe...but the main course seems to be waffles...waffles...waffles and we get to choose our topping and then I created Dinkie Nourishment which is a free product and mostly looks like a milkshake.  

It's been a great experience being a Dinkie because 1) they dance as cute as Shirely Temple...and 2) you get to have a party with all kinds of avi's.  All avi's are welcome at most Tiny events and I've had a chance to see the avi's that people create themselves too.

Dinkies, Tinies and Titchies are so darn cute, they should have their own TV show.  It is that adorable.  

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20 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

/me takes notes, "Your form is excellent"

Keep in mind this will work better if she is actually exercising at the time. 

 

if she is just laying on the beach it might not work as well.

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4 hours ago, Conall DeCuir said:

If i see we have some common interests, views and you come over as a mature person when i am reading your profile, why not?

My profile is taken up with business stuff.  I need to learn how to add things into my PICKS area where I can have an ABOUT ME area that people can read in my PICKS.  I don't know how to do that.

But to address the OP and others looking to random chat, what are those CHAT HOT SPOTS about in the Destination Guide?  I've never been to one but I supposed it is a place to go to chat.  So, what about going to one of those CHAT HOT SPOTS for conversation?  But, again, I've never been to one...I built for the first year and a half in my SL and learned Photoshop stuff, but for about 7 months now I have been having a bit of a social SL.    

Volunteering to help newbies at the newbie places could also be a way to engage in a chat in a more easy way rather than how some women might cringe upon an IM and are thinking what Rhonda said:  "What does he want" because a lot of women do think this because of things they have been IM'd.  I had a 3-day newbie tell me "he wants sex" and never even asked me to dance....so I moved my avatar away because not even asking to dance is kind of weird.  He just wanted me to teleport out "to his place"...without even asking me to dance.   

Also, maybe to the OP, you could start with a question for a chat such as..."Hi, how are you...how is your SL going today?"...or whatever kind of question you can think of.  Women respond well to questions and it starts a conversation.  

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44 minutes ago, FairreLilette said:

My profile is taken up with business stuff.  I need to learn how to add things into my PICKS area where I can have an ABOUT ME area that people can read in my PICKS.  I don't know how to do that.

But to address the OP and others looking to random chat, what are those CHAT HOT SPOTS about in the Destination Guide?  I've never been to one but I supposed it is a place to go to chat.  So, what about going to one of those CHAT HOT SPOTS for conversation?  But, again, I've never been to one...I built for the first year and a half in my SL and learned Photoshop stuff, but for about 7 months now I have been having a bit of a social SL.    

Volunteering to help newbies at the newbie places could also be a way to engage in a chat in a more easy way rather than how some women might cringe upon an IM and are thinking what Rhonda said:  "What does he want" because a lot of women do think this because of things they have been IM'd.  I had a 3-day newbie tell me "he wants sex" and never even asked me to dance....so I moved my avatar away because not even asking to dance is kind of weird.  He just wanted me to teleport out "to his place"...without even asking me to dance.   

Also, maybe to the OP, you could start with a question for a chat such as..."Hi, how are you...how is your SL going today?"...or whatever kind of question you can think of.  Women respond well to questions and it starts a conversation.  

I have no idea what chat hot spots might be but i have to say  ... i wouldn't go there just to chat for 'some' chat or small talk. I want a meaningful dialog, not just 'some' chat with people who have other interests than i have. Of course i can see where it goes with a stranger but ... I am not anti-social. I am selective -social. So i will just leave those chat hot spots be :)

As for the ABOUT section of a profile. It's always good to make a statement for what one doesn't wants and then what one like's. If people don't read, it's their problem. I mean, depending at where i am going, i am getting all those "hi", "how are you", "smiles at the man who is camming at her", "mmmmmmh lets f*ck" or even "do you want to buy me as a slave?" IMs too ... no matter where i go ... and i do not even frequent sex/bdsm clubs. It mostly happened at that one Ballroom :D 

There are a lot of bat***** crazy people in SL, a good amount of them are women and i refuse to give them my time, nor my thoughts. That's reserved for other ones.

 

 

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You know I feel sorry for men in SL in a way because what if a few bad apples did spoil the whole bunch for some (not all) because most of us are usually willing to at least see what the man wants by either a question and/or by reading his profile.  Although I am a Dinkie now, so it's different now...it is just friendship for Dinkies.  Dinkies are asexual as far as I know...though there are Dinkie baby kittens...it is all role play...buying a kitten Dinkie...there is no partnering that I know of although if there were partnering, it would be friendship.

I feel sorry because say a male avi is hanging out with an avi for several days and begins to like her.  He likes the way she dresses; he likes the things she says in local chat...what are the best ways for him to approach her in an IM then?    Should he tell her he likes the way she dresses and the things she says in local chat?  

I am sure with it being SL he wants to act as soon as possible for fear she may just vanish the next day if he doesn't say something soon.

It's a conundrum.

And, I feel sorry for the men too because they are usually the ones to take the lead or are expected to be the ones to take the lead in starting a conversion...even in the face of what might end up being a rejection.  

I think I IM'd one male avatar in my whole SL first just to tell him I really liked his avi.  We had a short, nice conversation.

But men, you take the lead and I wouldn't want to be in your shoes with the brunt of the responsibility put on me.  

And, I wanted to say that those crosshair things or whatever can be meaningless because I make avatars and I look at avatars...it doesn't mean anything beyond looking at an avatar creation for ideas...there is nothing sexual at times about someone looking at your avatar.   

Some woman chewed me out once for looking at her boyfriend.  lol  If he's partnered, yeah sure somebodies gonna IM him up.  Righteo.  No, not really.  Not me anyways.  I do look at avatars but it's not for partnering reasons...it's about making avatars and nothing more.  

Welcome to Second Life.  

 

 

 

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12 minutes ago, FairreLilette said:

And, I feel sorry for the men too because they are usually the ones to take the lead or are expected to be the ones to take the lead in starting a conversion...even in the face of what might end up being a rejection.  

I can not so really agree with it and have to say .. it depends. If a man has a good avatar, he will be IMed by women. If he has additionally an interesting profile, he will be IMed even more. There are a lot of women who IM men. I do not think i am the only one to whom it happens. The problem is that some (and that includes both genders, or all genders) seem to think SL is a big free stripclub or a mainstream dungeon for no costs and efforts. 

 

 

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26 minutes ago, Conall DeCuir said:

I can not so really agree with it and have to say .. it depends. If a man has a good avatar, he will be IMed by women. If he has additionally an interesting profile, he will be IMed even more. There are a lot of women who IM men. I do not think i am the only one to whom it happens. The problem is that some (and that includes both genders, or all genders) seem to think SL is a big free stripclub or a mainstream dungeon for no costs and efforts. 

 

 

I did not know that Conall and I've never seen one thread here in the forums about women IMing men and their difficulty with it.  I have seen many threads about male to female IM difficulties.  

Hmmmm...learn something new every day.

I will have to IM more men then...though most of those would be Dinkies, Tinies and Titchies "men" though we are kind of animals with human characteristics as those are the most I hang out with.  

It sometimes depends too on how many friends one already has as well as it could just be bad timing because some of us in our group are juggling a lot of IM's at once just to coordinate one event...and RL is calling too and that time is madness.  It's better to IM someone at the event depending on their job or lack of job at the event.  

Sometimes, it's just bad timing is what I'm trying to say.  And for many people, rl comes first no matter what.  It's a juggling act.    

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40 minutes ago, FairreLilette said:

 I feel sorry for the men too because they are usually the ones to take the lead or are expected to be the ones to take the lead in starting a conversion...even in the face of what might end up being a rejection.  

I IM guys all the time. Of course a big part of the reason is that I have a business and I am hoping to find a customer, so I guess that just makes me a different flavor of the guys who IM looking to hook up.

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3 hours ago, Talligurl said:

I IM guys all the time. Of course a big part of the reason is that I have a business and I am hoping to find a customer, so I guess that just makes me a different flavor of the guys who IM looking to hook up.

Good day, honorable proprietress, might I sample your wares? 

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It depends a lot on the situation

I am at an art gallery looking at an interesting peice of art all alone. A well dressed man walks up showing interest for the same piece of art and IM`s me: "Hi, how are you."
The last thing I think off is, he wants sex.

I am at a yachting club, doing some changes on my little Loonetta. Somebody moors next to my moor and says: "Hi, how are you?"
Chances are, we get into a conversation about sailing, blake sea, types of boats and the likes.

I am standing seductivelly dressed at a known pick up place and someone says: "Hi how are you?" I would expect him to look for sex. 
"You have checked my profile I guess", would be my standard answer. Most don't continue the conversation as my profile clearly states that I am in the sex business. Those who continue talking to me usually end up in bed with me against a little contribution to my sl lifestyle.

A guy with a use name like krave4it sees me in a M rated club of any kind and says: "Hi, how are you?" I roll my eyes and think, another one of those.

The best conversations I had started different though. Typically something down the line: "Hello Caroline, may I ask you something..." or: "Hi Caroline, don't want to bother you, just want to say I love your blog."

Edited by carolinestravels
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