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2 hours ago, LyricalBookworm said:

Was the second part of your message a generalized you when speaking of the club? Or to me since you quoted me? Or to the OP? I'm just checking to be certain since confusion can easily happen.

If it was a suggestion for me, I'll pass since I'm in a relationship. I'm very devoted to my hubby. I don't need a place to flirt with others. Even when I was single, that just isn't me. Thank you though.

As to the intimacy aspect of relationships in sl, not all inworld relationships involve physical intimacy in sl. Every relationship and person are different. Individual needs and expectations are different. I'm not going to say what my relationship involves since that is between him and I. 

I thought about how I was going to respond here since some things I just don't discuss. Please know my tone isn't meant to come off as sharp in my response. I'm sorry if it does. I do apologize if this wasn't geared at me at all and went ahead and answered anyway. I was uncertain. 😂

Regarding Etosha and flirting, the OP.  Fixed my post.  

Edited by FairreLilette
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On 11/9/2019 at 6:45 AM, Rhonda Huntress said:

I dated several people in SL before I met Clover.  We would go to music events or just go dancing at the many Jazz clubs SL had then.  That and a lot of pixel sex. 

Then I met Clover.  We have been together for 11 years now. I don't even think of anyone else as a possible dating interest any more.  I have a few friends that are safe to flirt with but they all know it is just a bluff.  Clover has my heart in so many ways.

We do what most couples do, I guess.  Hangout and chat, find parties to attend.  Clover does a lot of blogging and I like to take pictures to so often we will be near each other just setting up our shots.  We know each other in RL too.  Our husbands are friends and they both approve of our relationship so there is that too. 

TMI?

Anyway.  That's me in a very small nut shell. There were some other people, then Clover brought me life.

no not tmi that's really sweet :)

 

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In my early days in SL, there was a girl I was interested in. She worked at a club, so I'd go there on nights she was working to flirt. This flustered her because she was interested in me as well, but didn't expect me to show up at her vanilla SL workplace. Two years down the line, we were having .. difficulties. I had a plan, I scouted out a romantic sim, found a club we both had liked and planned out a 'date night', no D/s, just music, dancing and us hanging out together. Well, we had a big row on that night and wound up separating soon after. The date never happened. But I have done so from time to time with others and it makes for a nice change of pace. Putting the effort into planning the date shows you aren't taking them for granted and can get you out of an SL rut.

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I am in an sl relationship with a girl and we keep it in SL.  My gf and I are exclusive to one another so we spend our time together but when either of us is not logged in we are able to have playmates or friends with benefits.  It works for us because we know what to expect and we talked about how the relationship was going to work.   Communication is key to any relationship in SL.  Also we both make each other a priority in SL.   I noticed some are not willing to put their partner’s need/wants in front of their own.  

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1 hour ago, usedcars said:

I am in an sl relationship with a girl and we keep it in SL.  My gf and I are exclusive to one another so we spend our time together but when either of us is not logged in we are able to have playmates or friends with benefits.  It works for us because we know what to expect and we talked about how the relationship was going to work.   Communication is key to any relationship in SL.  Also we both make each other a priority in SL.   I noticed some are not willing to put their partner’s need/wants in front of their own.  

 I think its part of the problem, alot of times people think that dating in SL means they are dating IRL as well. You need to make sure what each others intentions are.

  Personally, id love to have a partner in crime here, but i have 0.0000 interest in going IRL and alot dont seem to like that, but its what it is.

  Just need to use proper communication when discussing how your relationship is going to be

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Being that I am new to SL, I can't honestly say I've taken part in SL dating. I have done long distance relationships in the past that haven't really worked out because, like many people before me have said, communication is super important and those relationships just didn't have it. 

I think I'd like to have someone like a partner in crime or other half, but I doubt I'd take it in to RL. But who knows? Things change, and some people might just be worth it. To the OP: I'd highly recommend doing whatever makes you comfortable. Don't rush in to an online relationship, and really take your time in figuring out what you and the other person have in common. Some of the best relationships I've ever seen started out with the two being friends first. Best of luck!

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I don't date. I meet people. If we are likeminded and get along, we will meet again and can do things together, just not me being exclusive. 

I had several long term partners in the past and i got to know them while we roleplayed together. That's actually for me the best way to find someone likeminded as we are spending a lot of time together and get to know each other thoroughly, which will take weeks if not months. It also prevented a lot of drama and worked just well for me.

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I had dated in SL here and there prior to meeting Ghosty, as had he. We met here on the Forum (the old one) and from there met in world. We literally did go on actual dates in world; dancing, parties together, movies, and just hanging out. Some pixel sex - that really wasn't a large part of our in world relationship though it was with other people I dated. Of course he was usually in llama form and well....umm....yea.....size differences, etc. LOL

It was not serious at all for either of us but we did enjoy each others company quite a bit and as time went by found ourselves becoming more emotionally intimate with each other. Without going into a long story we eventually did meet in RL,  and still tried to keep things casual for a while but clearly and quickly realized that was futile LOL.  He was the only person I'd had a relationship with in SL that I ever met up with face to face.  And it turned out it was worth saving up all the pixel sex for the real thing 🤣

Like Rhonda and Clover, we've been together a very long time now - well over 11 (or is it 12 now?) years and married 2+ years ago.  

 

Edited by Elora Lunasea
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I've had one long term relationship in SL that now (10 years later) has morphed into a very satisfying RL friendship.  We still see each other in SL from time to time but are more connected via RL now.  I think we worked so well because we were always on the same page about what we wanted; SL only for example, and our personalities just 'clicked'.  That's rare.

I've had a few dates since being SL single again but it's my experience that no one seems to want to just "casually" date and take time getting to know each other.  Honestly I'd love a little good old fashioned romance these days.  Someone to run around doing fun things with; a little slow dancing and sleigh riding now that it's wintery in SL...but that well seems to have dried up. Ah well.

Anyhoo...ideal things to do?  I'd say wherever you and your date have an interest?  There's tons of nice places to go and things to do in SL, you can start with the destination guide or just ask people you know.  I find a lot of great places in other people's profiles too.  :)

 

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Well,  just found out someone who liked me on SL found someone else. I am at the point where   I am about to give up on RL and SL social life. I feel inviisible.  I  am just fed up. My groups are great, but mainly female. No, nothing wrong there, but I never hear from the two dating groups  I joined..  I know I am a good person n RL as well as SL. but somehow  something is missing, and I am so clueless. And that is not a good feelng. Something needs to change, and I have no idea what that is. I live in a socially odd area, and I am not one for so loud you can't think clubs..I have have a few odd months in RL, with electrical stuff being wonky. lately phone not working and  just not knowing what to do or where to go socially. I am also a non driver.I know there is/are answers socially, its just hard finding single creative types, both in SL and RL..argh..

Edited by SierraStyles
Needed explanation.

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My story is a bit hard to believe but nonetheless true.

I came into SL on another account circa 2008-9? with the sole purpose of escorting for L's and cashing out while doing my camwork IRL. I've also done RP of all sorts, managing businesses, modelling, rode with MCs and what not. I'm one for experiences, all sorts of experiences with all kinds of wonderful people. I took several hiatuses and that is okay, got married IRL during said hiatuses, but due to unfortunate series of events none of my marriages lasted the year. 

Came back to SL to stay circa 2 years ago and kind of put my adult work on hold and focused more on exploring. At this point not only I had given up on any SL or RL relationships for good, but I was that one sarcastic friend mocking them.

Until one night I was chilling at the chamber with my sister who for years told me not to stick to my otherwise very strict list of many boxes that just need and must be checked, all of them, every single one.

For the record, I'm sometimes that ahole that doesn't budge from landing point lol and this one very quiet and chatter-less night, the most perfect avi I have ever seen falls out of the skies and knocks me onto sand. lol One could say love at first rezz xD.

It took me about a week if not more. I thought that either: a. someone pranked me and knowing me and what I liked created the perfect avi for me b. he is out of my league and must be taken for sure c. he is out of my league and won't DM back.

None of those proved to be the case. More days pass and I accidentally bump into him in other places. At this point I've worked up the courage (because he was to me That beautiful I did not dare IM lol) and he replied in possibly the most beautiful way anybody has ever replied to me in any game/social platform ever.

Luckily he was also the type to mix RL/SL however at this point, my skeptical ass was so in love with his avi and his voice and his mind that I didn't want to ruin the bestest thing in my Slife by sharing pics. Until out of the blue he Discords me one night a selfie of himself and I found it... well... He not only didn't spoil the fantasy but proved to be infinitely more beautiful that the avi and than any other man I have ever dated before. And our star signs match. And he is a heathen seemingly made after my own pagan core. And he drives my fav car, cooks and he's a gamer too and all these other insane coincidences that not only matched everything on my list, but exceed that list by a loooong massive shot.

What can I say, we're still a work in progress because we did have one very ugly fall out; damaged people unwillingly damage people, yet we've somehow found our way back together and have been only stronger ever since. I do believe that fall out was a test of sorts. I think we passed it.

I am so glad I stuck to my list and that I did not settle for anything less than perfection. I wish anyone the chance to experience such a bond. I cannot be more thankful for having such a wonderful being in my life. I never thought something like this would ever happen to me. I'm more than glad it did.

Edited by ErukaVonD

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