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So I'd like to ask a question, have anyone tried dating on second life before? What was your experience? good/bad/other? I'm personally trying casual dating to see who i'm compatible with and who i have the most chemistry with.

So I'd like to know if you're dating anyone what has your overall experiences been like? What is an ideal thing to do/or place to go regarding dating on second life? Did it turn in dating in real life? or a full fledged relationship?

Thank you for your contribution.

Edited by Vivien0Koisera
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Please forgive me if I sound dumb for asking, but the LGBTQIA reference mean you only want to hear from that perspective? I only ask because the questions you asked seem general to me where anyone might be able to answer that for you. Sticking to that side of the house though I have friends who are a lesbian couple that actually met on here and dated for a very long time after they first became friends and they eventually moved on to RL together. So for them it all worked out. They started out finding common interests they both liked to do on here and sort of worked up from there. They also made effort to find new things to go out and do together. So I think it really all depends on the connection you have with the person over all on how well you click and vibe together and if RL circumstances in both of your lives permit it as to whether or not it goes RL or not also. Hope this helps some. Good luck. ;)

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7 minutes ago, Velk Kerang said:

Please forgive me if I sound dumb for asking, but the LGBTQIA reference mean you only want to hear from that perspective? I only ask because the questions you asked seem general to me where anyone might be able to answer that for you. Sticking to that side of the house though I have friends who are a lesbian couple that actually met on here and dated for a very long time after they first became friends and they eventually moved on to RL together. So for them it all worked out. They started out finding common interests they both liked to do on here and sort of worked up from there. They also made effort to find new things to go out and do together. So I think it really all depends on the connection you have with the person over all on how well you click and vibe together and if RL circumstances in both of your lives permit it as to whether or not it goes RL or not also. Hope this helps some. Good luck. ;)

oh my bad i didn't specify anyone can share their opinion :) and thank you so much for yours.

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1 minute ago, Vivien0Koisera said:

oh my bad i didn't specify anyone can share their opinion :) and thank you so much for yours.

Oh your very welcome. Thank you so much for clarifying that for me. I wasn't sure if I was suppose to answer or not. lol I wasn't sure what I was suppose to say. lol When I first met my SL wife I got tped smack dab in to the middle of a women's hate group of all things men when we first met. lol We started off as friends and just did stuff together. Like I see your in to Mermaids so like if it were me I'd find someone who don't mind doing that and would like to hang out and chillax and explore because if their conversation is good then you will find other interests you might like to do together. If their conversation has you wondering what your going to fix for dinner that night and when the next episode of whatever your favorite show is then ya you might just have to keep them in the friend zone mate. Lmao!!!! 😁

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I dated several people in SL before I met Clover.  We would go to music events or just go dancing at the many Jazz clubs SL had then.  That and a lot of pixel sex. 

Then I met Clover.  We have been together for 11 years now. I don't even think of anyone else as a possible dating interest any more.  I have a few friends that are safe to flirt with but they all know it is just a bluff.  Clover has my heart in so many ways.

We do what most couples do, I guess.  Hangout and chat, find parties to attend.  Clover does a lot of blogging and I like to take pictures to so often we will be near each other just setting up our shots.  We know each other in RL too.  Our husbands are friends and they both approve of our relationship so there is that too. 

TMI?

Anyway.  That's me in a very small nut shell. There were some other people, then Clover brought me life.

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1 hour ago, Rhonda Huntress said:

That and a lot of pixel sex.

I remember those days. It's like OMG, OMG these animations are so good. lol 😁

1 hour ago, Rhonda Huntress said:

TMI?

Not at all. By all means please continue. lol Grabs my Furby and sits him on my lap with a bowl of popcorn and looks at him and says, "Your gonna wanna pay attention to this s**t little buddy you'll learn stuffs today. It's fixing to get good.". Furby says, "Neekoototo." and I look at him shaking my head up and down with a mouthful of popcorn grinning and say, "That's right. Neekoototo.". Lmao!!!!🤣

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While I'm no stranger to long distance relationships, I haven't tried dating in Second Life yet, since my ex was the one who got me into it and I've been a hermit. But I have met a fair number of folks who have found their significant other through it. I find that the ability to go off together to hang out or explore sims and events really lets you connect with someone because there's more to the interaction than just chat. You're engaging in activities together. Which is nice, and can be pretty fun depending on what you're doing.

I liked to explore sims with my ex, or find cute places to just chill at. We also spent a lot of time shopping together and decorating our house and debating if we would get anything from Zooby or not. It was nice, and gave me the fuzzy feelings. I think my favorite thing was finding the toy store Gacha place with all of the different pets. I have a stash of kiwi birds now.

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20 hours ago, Velk Kerang said:

I wasn't sure if I was suppose to answer or not. lol I wasn't sure what I was suppose to say

has this thing ever stopped you from saying something?

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On 11/9/2019 at 5:46 AM, Vivien0Koisera said:

So I'd like to ask a question, have anyone tried dating on second life before? What was your experience? good/bad/other? I'm personally trying casual dating to see who i'm compatible with and who i have the most chemistry with.

So I'd like to know if you're dating anyone what has your overall experiences been like? What is an ideal thing to do/or place to go regarding dating on second life? Did it turn in dating in real life? or a full fledged relationship?

Thank you for your contribution.

Get what you expect to get out of the "relationship" out of the way upfront. IE, let them know what you want. Long term, possible RL, Monogamy, BD/sm, whatever, just let the other party know. Some people i have dated couldn't separate SL and RL and fell hard. By that i mean, they were in a crap relationship/marriage in RL and i treated them like the goddesses they were and wanted me to leave my wife and they would leave their partner and we would get a pace together.. Mind you, I always say it will only be in SL. I love my wife, she loves me, what we do in SL stays in SL.

I know a few couples that met in SL and went RL, one fell apart, the others are doing well. 

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its always the question.. are you talking in SL or are you talking IRL. most of the posts I see from people looking to " date " rattle off their dating profile from Match or something. Personally, id love to find a partner here in SL but it seems that to alot of folks looking for a partner they are meaning IRL as well and that aint happening.. y'all are kinda weird..🤪

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I'd love to experience "dating". Courtship just seems o never happen. It always seems everyone is looking for the instant stranger-hook-up-booty-call. Dating. Huh... I suppose we can dream....

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52 minutes ago, Alyona Su said:

I'd love to experience "dating". Courtship just seems o never happen. It always seems everyone is looking for the instant stranger-hook-up-booty-call. Dating. Huh... I suppose we can dream....

   Wait, what. You mean one doesn't have to court a gal before jumping in the sack with them?! Darn, I've been doing it wrong all these years!

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12 minutes ago, Orwar said:

   Wait, what. You mean one doesn't have to court a gal before jumping in the sack with them?! Darn, I've been doing it wrong all these years!

Bahahaha! !Wags a finger at you, naughty, naughty~ I am saying that is what the apparent status quo is these days, rather than the preferred courtship method. Hahahaha!

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I kinda wish more guys would be interested in casual dating. I love to be taken places other then some place to just bump pixels.

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3 minutes ago, Alyona Su said:

Bahahaha! !Wags a finger at you, naughty, naughty~ I am saying that is what the apparent status quo is these days, rather than the preferred courtship method. Hahahaha!

   Oh. Pff. Yeah I don't really care much what the status quo is, I kind of like to get to know a person before having at them. It's pretty much up to the other party how open to courtship they are though, some seem to think that not wanting them in the sack after 'how do you do?' means that you aren't interested. Then there are those who you court and court and court and never seem to get anywhere with; tenth date and they 'want to spend eternity with me', but you don't want me to kiss anywhere but their hand because they 'need to be sure' first. Right.

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27 minutes ago, Orwar said:

   Oh. Pff. Yeah I don't really care much what the status quo is, I kind of like to get to know a person before having at them. It's pretty much up to the other party how open to courtship they are though, some seem to think that not wanting them in the sack after 'how do you do?' means that you aren't interested. Then there are those who you court and court and court and never seem to get anywhere with; tenth date and they 'want to spend eternity with me', but you don't want me to kiss anywhere but their hand because they 'need to be sure' first. Right.

Yes, I get it, and you're right. It seems there are those who prefer Powdered-Instant at one extreme end and others who like the Slow-brewed at the other and most seem to lean toward one or the other, the fewest at the center of that. I, myself, do not move at the speed of SL (Instant), but it seems many suitors are too impatient to last for more than a week, and never, ever ask to actually do something, like, ummm... dancing? Relaxing in a park and just chatting away? You know, platonic together time? That or they're already "spoken for", claiming "open relationship", to which I always reply: When she IM's me to verify that, then fine. Though, she rarely ever does. Go figure. LOL

But, with being able to fly and just teleport instantly from one place to another and the ability to communicate in secret while in crowded places (through IM) - most (men and women) seem to go for the instant booty-call, throwing lots of darts to see which stick. :)

Edited by Alyona Su
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I think dating in SL is all about your partner.  I have some horror stories just from being on a Friends wall at a dating agency.  I'd say to keep an open mind.  You never know where you will find the person you end up dating. It could be at a club, some in game event or even on the forum.  If you both like dancing, going dancing is a great idea.  My favorite is just sitting around and chatting and sharing YouTube or Spotify links.  Just being with the person and spending quality cuddle time with them. 

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I think I've done dates before. I say that because it's been more like being asked to check out a place or do something interesting with someone. I also took a lot of new people around SL and probably the best place for me is a music venue or a theme park with rides. They allow both people to passively enjoy SL in a non-romantic setting while being able to chat about the experience (with private messaging if in a busy place). 

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I really wasn't looking for a relationship at all. One night while standing at a dance club I got a message from a guy commenting that I was the only female close to his height so would I like to dance. I almost turned him down after rolling my eyes, but accepted. We've been together ever since and we've taken things to rl. I've plans to move to be with him in the next few years. I'm so glad I accepted that dance! :)

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On 11/9/2019 at 5:46 AM, Vivien0Koisera said:

So I'd like to ask a question, have anyone tried dating on second life before? What was your experience? good/bad/other? I'm personally trying casual dating to see who i'm compatible with and who i have the most chemistry with.

So I'd like to know if you're dating anyone what has your overall experiences been like? What is an ideal thing to do/or place to go regarding dating on second life? Did it turn in dating in real life? or a full fledged relationship?

Thank you for your contribution.

I didn't go into SL trying to date or to find a relationship, but I ended up finding one.  My first day in SL I was on Help Island Public, just kind of staring around in a daze in my little system avatar (this was 2007).  I was looking at profiles, and saw one with a picture in it.  I'd been trying to figure out how to put a picture in mine, but I had no clue, so I IM'd the guy -- whose avatar was about a month older than mine -- and asked him how he did that.  He talked me through taking a picture, camera controls, and how to get my picture in the profile. 

We ended up friends, and talked here and there, and over time more developed.  We partnered, and ended up dating and getting married in RL over ten years ago.

In my experience, relationships tend to happen organically.  I do best when I'm in a place where I'm available, but not specifically looking.  And honestly, I am so glad I came into SL and had the guts to IM that nice guy and ask for help with that very basic SL issue :)  My life is so much better for it.

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On 11/12/2019 at 10:41 AM, Orwar said:

Then there are those who you court and court and court and never seem to get anywhere with; tenth date and they 'want to spend eternity with me', but you don't want me to kiss anywhere but their hand because they 'need to be sure' first. Right.

Awwwww!

Sooooo romantic!

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On 11/15/2019 at 12:24 AM, LyricalBookworm said:

I really wasn't looking for a relationship at all. One night while standing at a dance club I got a message from a guy commenting that I was the only female close to his height so would I like to dance. I almost turned him down after rolling my eyes, but accepted. We've been together ever since and we've taken things to rl. I've plans to move to be with him in the next few years. I'm so glad I accepted that dance! :)

I've often heard that that special relationship happens when you aren't looking for it.  I always wondered if that is true.  Maybe so.  

How sweet.

______________________________________

Regarding me and dating.  Did.  I didn't want pixel sex every day or a lot so it was best it ended.  I am not that interested in pixel sex.  It's just how I feel about it and it's ok to be me.   I wanted out because of the pixel sex thing.  Once or twice was okay but a lot...no...just not interested so would have really had to fake interest which just wasn't there for me.  

To the OP:   I'd recommend Etosha to you.  It's a place for flirting but not a sex sim with ballroom like dancing BUT the dress style doesn't have to be ballroom...it's just dress nicely, not too much hanging out.  It's PG and for flirting and it's nice company and music to unwind and relax for a while....and then wait and see who wants to flirt with you and/or take it slow OR start the flirting yourself.  

p.s.  The dances at Etosha are fabulous...the guy can throw you in the air and then catch you.  It's some of the best couples dances I've ever seen..and it's not just hip grinding like at a lot of places.  The dances are just excellent for couples - the best. 

Also, the guy I was dating was kind enough to let me choose what dances I wanted for the couple dances, so I chose PLAY ALL and that's where I found the dance where the guy throws you up in the air and then catches you.  It's a great animation!  So, to find it...you may need to PLAY ALL.   

Edited by FairreLilette
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6 hours ago, FairreLilette said:

I've often heard that that special relationship happens when you aren't looking for it.  I always wondered if that is true.  Maybe so.  

How sweet.

Regarding me and dating.  Did.  I didn't want pixel sex every day or a lot so it was best it ended.  I am not that interested in pixel sex.  It's just how I feel about it and it's ok to be me.   I wanted out because of the pixel sex thing.  Once or twice was okay but a lot...no...just not interested so would have really had to fake interest which just wasn't there for me.  

I'd recommend Etosha to you.  It's a place for flirting but not a sex sim with ballroom like dancing BUT the dress style doesn't have to be ballroom...it's just dress nicely, not too much hanging out.  It's PG and for flirting and it's nice company and music to unwind and relax for a while....and then wait and see who wants to flirt with you and/or take it slow OR start the flirting yourself.  

p.s.  The dances at Etosha are fabulous...the guy can throw you in the air and then catch you.  It's some of the best couples dances I've ever seen..and it's not just hip grinding like at a lot of places.  The dances are just excellent for couples - the best.  

Was the second part of your message a generalized you when speaking of the club? Or to me since you quoted me? Or to the OP? I'm just checking to be certain since confusion can easily happen.

If it was a suggestion for me, I'll pass since I'm in a relationship. I'm very devoted to my hubby. I don't need a place to flirt with others. Even when I was single, that just isn't me. Thank you though.

As to the intimacy aspect of relationships in sl, not all inworld relationships involve physical intimacy in sl. Every relationship and person are different. Individual needs and expectations are different. I'm not going to say what my relationship involves since that is between him and I. 

I thought about how I was going to respond here since some things I just don't discuss. Please know my tone isn't meant to come off as sharp in my response. I'm sorry if it does. I do apologize if this wasn't geared at me at all and went ahead and answered anyway. I was uncertain. 😂

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