I really apologize for posting this, but...I hate life.

[Pamela Galli]

Like Drake, I am the spouse of and parent of a bipolar person. (I came to SL to migrate my Yahoo support group for sig others of those with bipolar disorder, who have their own challenges.)  Both now have their illnesses managed pretty well, though my husband has been on disability for many years. 
 

What we learned:

It is easier to stay out of a hole than to get out of one, but you can and have done both before. 

How something works for an average person at an average dosage may work differently or not at all for you. 

In the end you are responsible for your health.

Whatever helps a little bit — drugs, exercise, diet, therapy, nature walks, music, puppy videos, ECT, meditation, light therapy for SAD, children, podcasts, prayer, etc. — and you can make yourself do — do that. Do as much as you can, when you can, to stay out of the hole. . When you are in the hole, start with  just one thing — when you can. 

Research the drugs and dosages and interactions you are prescribed. My husband has wound up in the hospital because of drug interactions between the many pills he takes, and excessive dosage (of lithium). He has had many horrific side effects, esp with antipsychotics. The one drug that is most helpful for his refractory bipolar depression is illegal in our state, but I nevertheless make cookies regularly. Eating a cookie works a treat for my husband, daughter can’t stand it.

Note: Ketamine shows promise for refractory depression but we have not tried it.

 

[Beth Macbain]

On 11/6/2019 at 1:15 AM, Gopi Passiflora said:

Not Second Life. Just...life in general. Right now, I'm just trying to vent out my anger....

I'm so different from other people. I feel like my beliefs and ideas don't fit in with the rest of society.

I know some of you will say kind words, and I really appreciate it and thank you for that, but nobody really knows how I feel....

We haven't heard from you in a few days. I know we've dumped a lot of information, stories, advice (good and bad), etc., on your head.

How are you feeling today? What's on your mind, and is there anything I, or we, can do for you?

[Drake1 Nightfire]

37 minutes ago, FairreLilette said:

I said it helped me and it still helps me..because what happens in Seasonal Depression when the light dims upon the earth is our Serotonin levels dip or diminish.  I said there are others way to increase Serotonin without medication because what the medication is supposed to do for people with Seasonal Depression is increase Serotonin.  That's the medications purpose.  Exercise increases it also.  

What about those who dont get SAD? 

38 minutes ago, FairreLilette said:

All my suggestions were aimed at the OP who said they have Seasonal Depression and if you read through the thread, the OP liked my posts AND the post about the exercise....so the OP is capable of doing exercise if they liked my post about exercise.  

No what they said was. 

On 11/6/2019 at 11:44 PM, Gopi Passiflora said:

Although maybe you are right about the seasonal depressive disorder and endorphins. I guess maybe that's what I need.

That is not saying "Yes i was diagnosed with SAD."

39 minutes ago, FairreLilette said:

I never said anything about bi-polar and medication.  

No, but you did say several times that exercise was all that was needed to fix anyone. Wait, are you saying Bi-Polar is an approved mental illness you say needs medication?

40 minutes ago, FairreLilette said:

Though it is quite true that the Western culture jumps at medication a lot first and sometimes only medication while not taking care of their physical health.  Mind, Body, Spirit...it's all connected.  

But, also, I do not feel that anyone in this thread should be recommending medication as they do not know this person.  I also said medication is between an individual and their doctor.  

Medication is usually the first choice as it helps those with crippling mental issues be able to function enough to do anything.

Also, no one said anything about the OP needing medication. 

[Luna Bliss]

9 hours ago, Evah Baxton said:

Whether you believe in good or evil, afterlife or nothing after death, heaven or hell, flat or spherical Earth, big bang or 'let there be light' ... you are physically, spiritually and mentally part of the unexplained world around you.  Like an asteroid floating aimless through the cosmos, but with the gift of inspiration. Shut down your thoughts and allow inspiration to flow through you.

You bring up a very interesting point regarding the disconnection some people feel -- not sure if it's why the OP feels he doesn't fit in, but perhaps it could be a partial cause?

We often forget we are part of a larger picture. For me, when I let myself fully feel this, most especially when I reconnect with nature, my present day concerns lessen.  I read somewhere that nothing can make one feel as good as dedicating energy to a greater cause, and I have to agree, at least for me -- helping others, going beyond myself when I can, just makes me feel good and gives life an added meaning.

Anyway, this article may be helpful in pointing a way to reconnect for some, and I find the explanation of why some might feel disconnected fascinating.

http://paulkingsnorth.net/2019/05/26/the-language-of-the-master/

Edited November 10, 2019 by Luna Bliss

[Selene Gregoire]

Just to clarify, although I may at some point in the future due to my life threatening condition, I do not suffer from depression. I've just had to watch others (family and friends) suffer from it without benefit of medical/professional help.

[Pamela Galli]

And then there are times when if you look at what’s happening outside your own skin, the only sane thing to do is get at least a little anxious, scared, depressed, and outraged. 

[FairreLilette]

49 minutes ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

No, but you did say several times that exercise was all that was needed to fix anyone. 

No, I didn't say it could fix anyone.

I said it can improve our quality of life because it can.  

[Pamela Galli]

1 hour ago, FairreLilette said:

I don't think anyone should jump into medications

I don’t know how you define jumping into, but there is no true statement regarding the best course of treatment that applies to everyone. 
Unopposed ADs are rarely prescribed as a first line med for bipolar depression.

[So Whimsy]

Thank the heavens there's medications.

Screw sport and walking around outside, if that alone helped then there'd be no mentally ill people on the planet.

[Luna Bliss]

1 hour ago, FairreLilette said:

I don't think anyone should jump into medications...there are safer more effective things to try.  It is all trial and error and we have to take an active part in our health, and medical science is fluid and ever changing and changes from individual to individual.

Medications for bipolar disorder have been a godsend, helping many cope. For other kinds of depression or conditions where antidepressants are not really indicated though I agree...antidepressants are prescribed far too often, and for the wrong reasons:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/antidepressants-overprescribed-in-primary-care/

"In the 12-year period leading up to 2007, almost 1 in 10 visits to primary care physicians (9.3%), resulted in the patient coming away with a prescription for an antidepressant, the study found. But in only 44% of such cases did the doctor make a formal diagnosis of major depression or anxiety disorder. […]

That trend escalated between 1996 and 2007, as both primary care physicians and specialists stepped up their prescribing of antidepressants. Even as they did so, fewer and fewer of the patients who got those prescriptions got a psychiatric diagnosis along with their pills, the authors found."

[Luna Bliss]

The main problem is that we really don't know at this point what the antidepressants are doing to the brain. I've read studies claiming they are damaging.  (Of course if the meds are needed it's better to be alive with minor brain damage than dead from suicide).

Another danger is that the true problems are not being addressed if a physician lazily shoves some pills to the patient instead of investigating what the true problem is.  For example, many physical problems have depression alongside the disease, and this fact is frequently overlooked by a doctor who thinks the pills are an easy fix.

[So Whimsy]

By the way Bipolar patients do not get anti-depressants to treat Bipolar's. It can be given during depression phases, but the main medication is Lithium, not anti-depressants as it helps to level out both the depression and the manic episodes.

Just thought I'd point that out.

[Seicher Rae]

8 hours ago, Amina Sopwith said:

I feel partly responsible for the way this thread turned out, as I was the first to mention exercise, so I hope people don't mind if I clarify a bit.

I certainly never meant to imply that exercise was the one solution for all mental health conditions, or that it's even an option for everyone; I explicitly made the point that it's not always possible and it's not a problem solver. I certainly hope nobody thought that I meant one shouldn't ever take antidepressants or other medication either. I've taken them myself in the past; found citalopram to be excellent and whatever it is they give you when you're breastfeeding because it's safer for the baby to be horrendous. (My regular doctor huffed and muttered when he saw the postnatal depression outpatient clinic had prescribed it for me, but they were trying to help. I was in a very bad way.)

The reason I mentioned exercise and clean eating on this thread was twofold. Firstly, OP mentioned he was angry. I do think that, if it's possible for you, pounding the pavement, cross trainer or punchbag while listening to Bonfire by Knife Party or the Hercules Mulligan rap from Hamilton is very therapeutic for expressing anger. Secondly, going by the OP's posting history, it looks to me s though he has a lot invested in SL, as I think most people posting on here either have or have had in the past. SL can be an incredible place and I owe a lot to it, but if one is spending many hours a day on it - as I have done in the past, sitting sedentary and alone in a not very well lit room - and still experiencing black moods, then I would suggest, as gently and kindly as possible, that it is worth taking an hour or so out of it every day, and going outside and moving around. If, of course, that is possible, which it might not be. That's not to say you shouldn't also see your counsellor, take your medicine or use your light box, obviously. I do remember knowing some people in SL, back in the day, who were so addicted that they wouldn't see their therapists because they'd rather be in SL. That's an extreme example, but it does happen and it isn't wise. 

Does that sound obvious, or trite? Maybe. But one of the cruelties of depression is how hard it makes it to do the things that would help, and to think clearly. Sleep would help, but depression gives you insomnia. Eating well would help, but depression makes you either lose your appetite or overstuff yourself with things that are terrible for you. Exercise would help but depression makes you exhausted and trapped behind a mental wall that can feel as real as a metal one. You might not even be able to think of those things as possibilities, if you're in very deep. So I do believe that a small suggestion for a little activity, preferably outside, can be helpful, and might be the only thing that seems even vaguely possible in that moment. I certainly know a number of dog owners who swear by it. No, it's not the full solution. It's a possible step that might be the easiest one to take, but not so easy to think of when you're in the pit.

Like eating disorders and addiction, depression isn't generally something you have once and get over. It's more likely to be a lifelong condition that requires management, and people should manage it in whatever way works best for them, which very much includes medication.

And obviously being fit and healthy won't help every single condition. If it did, I'd have a complete family. It's just that maintaining your physical health as best you can can be helpful for setting you up to handle depression when it next comes for you. The link between physical and mental health is very real.
 

Ah, you weren't in any way responsible for having the thread turn, but you said a lot of good things in this comment too.

Not one single person, that I've read here, has anything negative to say about exercise and clean eating. No one has said "don't do it." The ruckus is (as has been said before) due to how mental illness is being discussed -- by repeating some pretty horrible stigmas -- by, as far as I can see, one single person. There is a huge connection, as you say, between mental and physical health.

Some true depressions (as opposed to just having an off day or a case of the blues) are one-offs and are caused by situational events. Those still require the individual management, as you state.

Edited November 10, 2019 by Seicher Rae
to try to make one sentence make sense

[Seicher Rae]

Gopi, I hope you are doing ok, and that you stop by and let us know how you are doing. There's a lot of genuine caring in this thread. Even the tussling is out of caring. You are not alone.

[Seicher Rae]

This thread has really affected me, both good and bad. I hesitated for quite a while before posting my original comment here, because I discussed my own history of suicidal ideation. Way back when, I was trolled relentlessly in the very old SL Forum and related places, and a great deal of that trolling revolved around nasty comments made about my own real life story. My story, my life, was hijacked by others, and that caused a lot of RL real trauma to me, that lasts to this day. Hence my hesitancy to post to this thread, and hence my absence from any type of SL Forum for years. But these Forums are not the old ones, and they seem safer, and someone stating they are hurting and hating life are red flags for me, as I stated way back on what? page two?

It is too long of a story for here, but the last ten years (the whole time I've been in SL) have been RL hell for me, and the last five have been particularly difficult, with some severe physical injuries added to clinical depression, PTSD, anxiety and since moving far north -- SAD. For various RL reasons I was not able to get professional help for years (don't get me started on the state of health care, especially mental health care, in the USA). No talk therapy, no medication, very little social support which is where SL both was a godsend, and then with the trolls, a nightmare. Also too much to discuss is how I am always dealing with suicidal ideation... daily. **I am not suicidal, and at no risk for doing myself harm right now.** But I think of it as an option.

I have had clinical depression since I was a child (and oh, how I bristled at the stupid, stupid comment about how "I think psychological traumas, abuse, abandonment, drugs and alcohol cause the majority of mental illness"). I have been on and off medications and other therapies for decades. The last five years have been the hardest in my life and it has only been within the past year that I've had access to professional help. We (and it is a team of people) are currently working on a  multi-faceted plan, which includes: diet, exercise, a special light for the SAD (which only cost $30 at Amazon), talk therapy, other social support therapy, and drugs. Because of side effects I'm having a heck of a time getting a pharmacological treatment set, but we're working on it. To state that "NONE should be on medication" just was the dumbest, most harmful thing someone could have uttered. Am I glad I need medication? Is it being foisted upon me? No and no. Is it necessary? EFF YEAH. To have an idiot state that MY plan of action is "textbook junk"? I saw red: "This is the generic textbook junk I hate below about Season Depression:   (The light therapy is very expensive lights you have to buy.) 

  On 11/9/2019 at 2:33 PM, Seicher Rae said:

Some people with SAD are treated with medication, along with light therapy and talk therapy.

This thread really got to me. I was not able to sleep, at all, last night. My anxiety is through the roof. I physically shook when typing some things. That was annoying. It also showed me how vulnerable I still am, to a lot of things, and that stupid BS in Forums are still triggers. That's for me to work on. It's good for me to know, if not particularly pleasant to deal with. It is up to me how I react to things (to a point, some of it is out of my hands). But to the uninformed person who has been spewing all of the ignorant misinformation, know this: I know for a fact that your hateful, ignorant words affected one person in a negative way in RL. Words have consequences. People gave you all sorts of ways to back down. Way back on page 2 or 3, you could have halted your awful words but you chose to double down instead.

If your words negatively affected one person there's a good chance they affected more. That goes for everyone who posted here, good or bad. Stigma around mental illness is very real. It is very hurtful. It makes hard times even harder. While those who pushed back against the ignorant stigmatization and just incorrect information may have seemed "mean" they provided some real, concrete information. Education is key. That and empathy. That and a good dose of knowing when to STFU (which I know can be difficult and I see my own irony).

Edited November 11, 2019 by Seicher Rae
typos

[Beth Macbain]

@Seicher Rae I don't have a lot more to add to your words except offering great big giant hugs. That is something else that isn't mentioned often - physical touch. A big, bruising, crushing hug can do wonders for a person in a moment of crisis. Mom hugs. I would give literally anything to get another hug from my mom, but I'm lucky enough to have family and friends who are amazing huggers. So wrap your arms around yourself and give yourself a great big tight squeeze from me. 

[Seicher Rae]

17 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

@Seicher Rae I don't have a lot more to add to your words except offering great big giant hugs. That is something else that isn't mentioned often - physical touch. A big, bruising, crushing hug can do wonders for a person in a moment of crisis. Mom hugs. I would give literally anything to get another hug from my mom, but I'm lucky enough to have family and friends who are amazing huggers. So wrap your arms around yourself and give yourself a great big tight squeeze from me. 

 

[MrsSeren]

2 hours ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

 

THIS. all This.. every single word of THIS!!! 

I've shown this thread to my daughter and wife.. 

@Gopi Passiflora Hugs and any support you need are yours. 

@Beth Macbain @Selene Gregoire @Seicher Rae @Pamela Galli @MrsSeren @AmandaKeen and i cant believe i am agreeing with her @Luna Bliss You have all said things supporting and helping those with mental illness and deserve thanks, hugs and praise. Stop by my house anytime for a hug and chat.. 

On a side note... @FairreLilette My daughter thinks you need a therapist.. Ath the very least you need to stop spouting toxic ideals about mental illness and its treatment. 

I have you as my friend in world, you are one of those I trust to talk too then you know that!  *HUGS* 

[Selene Gregoire]

Group hugs!

ok Which one of you grabbed my butt?  

[Seicher Rae]

4 minutes ago, Selene Gregoire said:

Group hugs!

ok Which one of you grabbed my butt?  

Wait... that was your butt???

 

[Drake1 Nightfire]

42 minutes ago, Selene Gregoire said:

Group hugs!

ok Which one of you grabbed my butt?  

raises his hand. It was me..

[Selene Gregoire]

40 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:

Wait... that was your butt???

 

Well it sure wasn't my face! 

[Selene Gregoire]

3 minutes ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

raises his hand. It was me..

Why am I not surprised?   

[Gopi Passiflora]

Thank you all for showing that you care and understand my situation. Words can't express my gratitude and appreciation for all of your support. It may not seem like it, but I am grateful for you all!

[Seicher Rae]

2 minutes ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

Thank you all for showing that you care and understand my situation. Words can't express my gratitude and appreciation for all of your support. It may not seem like it, but I am grateful for you all!

Ooh! Ooh! You're just in time for the group hugs we've been having!