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What are Second Life Families? What are your thoughts on them?


LuxuriousSin
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Hi all!

I've been on SL for some years now, and I've run into a lot of Second Life families.

I've never been a part of an "official" (is that a thing?) SL family. 

I am curious about your experiences in being in an SL family, the different types of SL families, and what your thoughts on them are?

Thank you!

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Oh you’re going to get all kinds of answers on this one.

They can be about as varied as the word family in real life. They can range from a family in the traditional sense Father, Mother, Sisters and Brothers...even grandmothers and grand fathers and they RP it that way.

Then it could just be a clique of people that just hang out together and all have the same last name.

Or anything inbetween that.

When I started SL back in 2010, I was very fortunate to be in a family where I was taken in and shown SL. I had my own space, could Rez, was shown how to build. It was a really good experience for a noob and it probably kept me in SL for my first year or so.

Thats probably rare now. I thought they all were like that for a while. Then I found out they aren’t from talking to people. So it really depends on the family.

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I've never been part of an SL "family" tho I have an SL brother.  I don't really participate with his constructed family tho- just a good friendship with him and his SL spouse.  

@janetosilio said it best when she said "as varied as the word family in real life".  

From what I notice on the outside looking in at families in SL, is there seems to be two distinct types- the ones who create a family for RP purposes and those who seem to just come together out of growing close.  I have no judgements either way.  

Pretty sure for some folks, the SL family they have created probably makes up for dysfunctional upbringings or lacking fulfillment in their current lives.

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Hmm my family kind of happened organically and is more very close friends that call each other sis and bro.  There are 4 of us 3 female, 1 male and we all live on the same region as I had the space and so offered  somewhere to live free and I can't even remember where the sis and bro thing even started.  We don't live in each others pockets or bother each other all the time when online.  We have a group that we use to chat or not to chat when we are all online and sprinkled around the grid doing stuff.    I have a "dad"  which actually is kind of a long standing joke between us due to us discovering at one time years ago he was in the same RL place as my mum... and the joking started about him being my biological rl dad.

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I have four second life sisters. This is how my family started. They were friends I have connected deeply with over eight, five and four years. They just became family in both worlds. I also have several nephews and nieces that belong to those sisters.

My husband and I have a daughter together and my youngest sister who is five lives with us. She has basically become our daughter though. It isn't roleplay for us, but a natural family dynamic that developed over time. I cherish the people who have chosen to be part of my life very much. Family isn't always blood. 😊

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Some is roleplay family and some is not.  

The roleplay families even have sims where they all rent houses and it looks like a real neighborhood in the suburbs of real life...with family orientated activities...picnics or dances with live entertainment.  

But like one poster said, it's a lot of different things too, all of which I am not familiar with.  I can only state that which I have seen and I went to a family show on one of the family sims and walked around all the houses...it was a gorgeous sim!    

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I have never been part of a SL "family", but every time I meet someone with the last name Luminos, I call them "cousin".

It seems to me that 99% of the drama in SL involves members of a family, who become non-members shorty after.

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Assuming you mean people who are looking for "real" family and not overtly IC RP...

I've buried quite a few family members, to the point where graveyard staff have been known to say things like "not you again". I definitely understand why bereaved people, those who want kids and are unable to have them, or those with poor/non-existent family relationships try to fill the gap with SL. I had an SL sister once myself, although it was more a sisterly friendship. We were "sisters" because our RP characters were owned by the same person.

But I'm not sure it's a great idea. I find these people usually have a very idealised and romanticised view of what family relationships should be like, especially those playing as parents, and aren't prepared for the very real friction of, well, bloody ANY relationship with another human being. (And for the record, I have never met an adult who made a convincing three-year-old. Several Gorean Masters came close, but kids are smart and have some appeal.) That outlook is ripe for drama, especially since so many family people are very emotionally invested from the off, as they're looking to fill an RL void. 

Obviously this doesn't apply to everyone but I think it's very common. Then again, I suppose in that sense it isn't much different to people acting out any other kind of fantasy in SL. 

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I don't do the whole bro sis kinda thing on sl. I mean I have had some very, very good friends, ones I would definitely consider family. But we have never done the "FAMILY" kinda thing on sl. I mean, not in the sense I see a lot of others do. Does that make sense? I don't really have any strong feelings either way on the whole "FAMILY" front, I'm using way too much emphasis there for good reason. Some people do seem to take it really, really, really far, but, eh...whatever tickles their pickle. I get being protective over people you care about, even if sometimes it doesn't seem as genuine as they might think it does, or it's just pixel people, or avatars or whatever. Who am I to say they can't, or shouldn't, care about people they meet online? Most of my best friends, I met online, hell I met hubby online, lol. (not in sl, though)

We do have prim babies though, and soon as I can I intend to make them animesh versions of themselves, because those are even more adorable, I really like them, and...okay they're friggen adorable and I just want them lol. Plus while I can still buy supplies for their non-animesh versions, they are going to end up being discontinued entirely at some point, and that will make me very sad, even if it isn't for years to come.  I know, I know...just pixels....but, this is me we're talking about here. I have an odd fondness for all of my breedables that most people don't understand. It should come as no surprise that I love my prim babies too  lol. 

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I once had a wonderful family in SL. I left due to my desire to engage in solitary activities but will always cherish my experiences with them. Many years later I tried to find a new family, but had several bad experiences. I do envy those who are able to make deep connections in SL but I know that due to my reclusive nature I'd never be able to maintain long term family bonds.

I have a vivid imagination and really enjoy roleplaying my own family members. I sometimes alternate between various ages. I also have many prim and animesh babies, and have even used alts as bots (both animal and human). What I did was had them wear a hud that gives needs like Cherubs Care, Life hud, etc. so I could take care of them.

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I know there's this whole RP family eco-system, but for most of the people I've known who've used "family" language it's been a way of describing especially strong or close friendships. My early friendship circle used to make up complicated meandering (and frequently changing) back stories about how we were all related to each other. It was just our way of goofing around and exercising our imaginations, but also saying you matter to me.

From what I've seen, drama seems to be more of a facet of personality than inherent in a SL family dynamic. Those who are inclined to drama create and nuture circumstances in which to play it out, whatever the environment. One person can cause disruption in any social structure if they're manipulative enough with it.

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I think families representative of what we see in RL are most prevalent in the kid community, and like RL families they can either be amazing people or absolutely awful. 

I am lucky in that I have a great mom and brother. We've been a family for about 2 years now and we do all sorts together. This is a picture I took not too long ago when we went to a pumpkin patch to pick pumpkins to carve. 

From left to right. Tyler, my mom and me. 

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I never intentionally sought out a SL family, nor did I imagine myself being in one.  Besides, I suck at roleplaying.

My family consists of a couple of close friends who developed organically into parental figures over time.  They're like the relatives I was meant to have. Family to me in this sense is defined as the people who are in your heart.

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On 11/1/2019 at 12:48 PM, LuxuriousSin said:

Hi all!

I've been on SL for some years now, and I've run into a lot of Second Life families.

I've never been a part of an "official" (is that a thing?) SL family. 

I am curious about your experiences in being in an SL family, the different types of SL families, and what your thoughts on them are?

Thank you!

The Russian classic writer Leo Tolstoy was predicting Second Life when he said, "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." 

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On 11/3/2019 at 4:27 AM, Bitsy Buccaneer said:

From what I've seen, drama seems to be more of a facet of personality than inherent in a SL family dynamic. Those who are inclined to drama create and nuture circumstances in which to play it out, whatever the environment. One person can cause disruption in any social structure if they're manipulative enough with it.

Perfectly said Bitsy.

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