Terms of endearment

[Maitimo]

4 minutes ago, janetosilio said:

I think it’s important to remember in SL you could be talking to someone from a totally different culture even if they say they’re from the same country as you, the rules might be totally different.

Less than 200 miles in my case. The Birmingham divide is very real.

[Janet Voxel]

Just now, Matty Luminos said:

Less than 200 miles in my case. The Birmingham divide is very real.

Isn’t England known for having an amazingly large amount of accents and customs packed into a relatively small area?

[Selene Gregoire]

22 minutes ago, Matty Luminos said:

If you don't like terms of endearment from random strangers, don't ever visit the north of England. Even guys get called "love" here. I got called "love" by a customer on the phone at work today (though to be fair my voice is rather ambiguous and she might have thought I was a girl). But bar and restaurant staff, especially women, regularly call me "love" and my physical appearance (short but stocky, bald, with beard) is definitely not ambiguous.

I actually like it; I grew up in the south where people barely even acknowledge each other at all, never mind talking to you as if they actually like you.

*perks* Beard? 

[Maitimo]

11 minutes ago, janetosilio said:

Isn’t England known for having an amazingly large amount of accents and customs packed into a relatively small area?

Oh god, yes. I live in Stockport, which is about 4 miles away from Manchester, and the Stockport accent is noticeably different from the Manchester one. Culturally, however, we're more or less the same across northern England.  

10 minutes ago, Selene Gregoire said:

*perks* Beard? 

Yes, neatly trimmed though. Not enough for birds to nest in.

[Cindy Evanier]

6 minutes ago, Matty Luminos said:

Stockport accent is noticeably different from the Manchester one. Culturally, however, we're more or less the same across northern England.  

I am not that far away either and with an even more noticeably different accent  

[Stranger Hoxley]

2 hours ago, BelindaN said:

Love is a Yorkshire term, used everywhere without malice or any other intent.

The one which really gets under my skin is "dear"...

For some reason I find that condescending and patronising.....like I'm an old dear......

Fingernails down a blackboard for me.

Try to remember that when we meet again love

[BelindaN]

47 minutes ago, janetosilio said:

Isn’t England known for having an amazingly large amount of accents and customs packed into a relatively small area?

Yes. The accents and customs across Yorkshire are diverse. Even between Leeds, Sheffield, Harrogate, Halifax and so on. Each is distinctive, and ten to fifteen miles makes a difference. Lancashire is also regional but totally different.

But it takes a Northern ear to detect all this.

"Southerners" only hear it all as "Northern".........and often confuse a Yorkshire accent with a Lancashire one.

[Selene Gregoire]

13 minutes ago, Matty Luminos said:

Yes, neatly trimmed though. Not enough for birds to nest in.

Neat is good but who cares about birds? I just like playing in beards.

Edited October 23, 2019 by Selene Gregoire

[Orwar]

   I'm not a particularly endearing person, and I don't think Swedes in general tend to be particularly endearing to begin with. There wasn't enough breathing space between the 'Du-reform' (the linguistic tragedy that set in motion in the 70's, when Swedes stopped addressing each other in the 'old German' fashion - i.e. 'Herr, Fru, Fröken' etc., followed by, or simply by, their surname) and the 'I'm offended!' phenomenon.

   To me, the idea of using endearing terms to strangers appears extremely out of place. It's regarded as extremely condescending here, and these days the old manner of address is largely considered condescending as well; anything but 'Du' ('you'), or using someone's name, is done at one's own risk. I understand that it is culturally acceptable elsewhere, but I don't respond well to it if someone does it to me.

[Tari Landar]

Just call everyone brah, not to be confused with bruh. 

Then, before they get the chance to react you can say 

"Yes I did just call you a woman's undergarment"

My terms of endearment are saved for people I endear. Everyone else I just try to avoid using most terms of anything except respect, formality or casual sense, whichever is the most appropriate for the person/occasion. Insults are an entirely different ballgame, though.

I prefer to use insulting words that people either don't understand (contextually, or at all, lol), or don't expect. Walnut is one of my favorite insults ever, and no one ever seems to understand the severity of it-which just amuses me even more, but it can also ease tension if it's artificially inflated. 

[Madelaine McMasters]

30 minutes ago, Tari Landar said:

I prefer to use insulting words that people either don't understand (contextually, or at all, lol), or don't expect. Walnut is one of my favorite insults ever, and no one ever seems to understand the severity of it-which just amuses me even more, but it can also ease tension if it's artificially inflated. 

I don't think walnut quite describes what I think of you, Tari.

I love faux insults, delivered with extreme passion or equivalent indifference. When I was young, the local NPR station played reruns of old Bob & Ray radio shows.

In one episode, Ray called his nephew a nincompoop. Bob asked if that wasn't a little harsh...

"Yeah, you're right. I guess he's more of a chowderhead."

I love stuff like that.

[Seicher Rae]

I'd rather be called "honey" by a complete stranger as a one-off than have it (or something similar) repeated daily where I work. I think it is mostly a context thing. Some of it is friendly/cultural and some of the endearments are demeaning/insulting/cultural. Honestly, there's so many things to get panties in a twist about these days that someone using a term of endearment, generic pet term, whatever, in a pleasant way is the least of my worries. I come from a background where such things were not said and done, even among intimates, so yeah, I understand it can be off-putting. But if someone calls me sweetie, and has a smile in their voice and face, I'll smile back, thank them and decline the sweet tea.

[Tari Landar]

1 hour ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

I don't think walnut quite describes what I think of you, Tari.

I love faux insults, delivered with extreme passion or equivalent indifference. When I was young, the local NPR station played reruns of old Bob & Ray radio shows.

In one episode, Ray called his nephew a nincompoop. Bob asked if that wasn't a little harsh...

"Yeah, you're right. I guess he's more of a chowderhead."

I love stuff like that.

Few of my insults ever actually make sense to those that receive them. It's why walnut is my favorite, because no one understands it, pretty much ever. I also use donut, peanut, driftwood, and doorknob with a lot of regularity for the same reason..no one picks up on it. 

I'm going to be honest here and say that few of my insults ever truly make it out of my mouth/fingers, or rather, out where someone else can be insulted by it, unless I REALLY mean it and need it to be heard/read. But it rarely has the effect I want, because no one picks up on it being an insult, lol. 

I call people walnut on the forums all the time when they annoy me. They just don't know I do it. (because, again, walnut is a serious offense to me, if I call you a walnut...it can be likened to the worst insult ever). Most people that insult me choose simple, overused and frankly not all that good insults-and I often laugh at them for it, because it makes me think they're not very intelligent. It's why most never bother me. If you get creative, however, I usually pause to determine, A- if you're serious and actually meant it as an insult, B-understand what you actually just said and C-think I understand what you just said. Then I often laugh anyway because..why the hell not.

Nonsensical curse words are my forte 

 

[Selene Gregoire]

22 minutes ago, Tari Landar said:

Few of my insults ever actually make sense to those that receive them. It's why walnut is my favorite, because no one understands it, pretty much ever. I also use donut, peanut, driftwood, and doorknob with a lot of regularity for the same reason..no one picks up on it. 

I'm going to be honest here and say that few of my insults ever truly make it out of my mouth/fingers, or rather, out where someone else can be insulted by it, unless I REALLY mean it and need it to be heard/read. But it rarely has the effect I want, because no one picks up on it being an insult, lol. 

I call people walnut on the forums all the time when they annoy me. They just don't know I do it. (because, again, walnut is a serious offense to me, if I call you a walnut...it can be likened to the worst insult ever). Most people that insult me choose simple, overused and frankly not all that good insults-and I often laugh at them for it, because it makes me think they're not very intelligent. It's why most never bother me. If you get creative, however, I usually pause to determine, A- if you're serious and actually meant it as an insult, B-understand what you actually just said and C-think I understand what you just said. Then I often laugh anyway because..why the hell not.

Nonsensical curse words are my forte 

 

Gives a whole new meaning to "you're a rock". Does it mean you are strong (emotionally, mentally or physically) or does it mean you're dumb as a bag of rocks? 

I like where this is going. lol

[BelindaN]

10 hours ago, Orwar said:

   I'm not a particularly endearing person, and I don't think Swedes in general tend to be particularly endearing to begin with. There wasn't enough breathing space between the 'Du-reform' (the linguistic tragedy that set in motion in the 70's, when Swedes stopped addressing each other in the 'old German' fashion - i.e. 'Herr, Fru, Fröken' etc., followed by, or simply by, their surname) and the 'I'm offended!' phenomenon.

   To me, the idea of using endearing terms to strangers appears extremely out of place. It's regarded as extremely condescending here, and these days the old manner of address is largely considered condescending as well; anything but 'Du' ('you'), or using someone's name, is done at one's own risk. I understand that it is culturally acceptable elsewhere, but I don't respond well to it if someone does it to me.

Well Maynard, (takes cover)you'd better stay away from the North of England, where you'll hear it everywhere, every day. Even the Scots do it to some extent.......again, regionalised. 😛

[Whirly Fizzle]

In Scotland, the C word is a term of endearment lol.

[Selene Gregoire]

Some people have been watching Dobie Gillis reruns a bit too much.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maynard_G._Krebs

Bob Denver (yes, Gilligan) as Maynard G. Krebs:

 

[Tari Landar]

18 hours ago, Selene Gregoire said:

Gives a whole new meaning to "you're a rock". Does it mean you are strong (emotionally, mentally or physically) or does it mean you're dumb as a bag of rocks? 

I like where this is going. lol

Situationally dependent, yes..that's pretty much how it works with me.

"You're my rock" and "You're a rock" to me, are two different things, most of the time, lol. The first, a compliment in all ways, the latter...I'm probably insulting someone, but need to know the context first. Usually people see it as the former though. So I let them believe I was being kind, unless I really, really need them to know I wasn't.

For the most part though, it's a weird game I play with myself when I want to be insulting but don't necessarily want the entire world knowing I'm a jerk, or at least being a jerk right that moment. It also saves me from having to apologize when I don't really want to apologize for something, but manners, common sense and human courtesy suggest that I should because my offense (perceived or otherwise) was over the top.

Used to call people in one of my breedables group driftwood and doorknob a lot. Most thought they were just cutesy stupid names and didn't pick up on the "you're being an effin idiot and I need to tell you, but if I do, I'll get banned from chat or the group, so I shall limit my offenses" context. One of my oldest friends in sl-that didn't come with us from TSO used to get doorknob a LOT...because she was a doorknob, lol. We're still good friends, but she understands my word oddities now. 

 

 

[Madelaine McMasters]

9 minutes ago, Tari Landar said:

Situationally dependent, yes..that's pretty much how it works with me.

"You're my rock" and "You're a rock" to me, are two different things, most of the time, lol. The first, a compliment in all ways, the latter...I'm probably insulting someone, but need to know the context first. Usually people see it as the former though. So I let them believe I was being kind, unless I really, really need them to know I wasn't.

Is that like the difference between "You're like a rock" and "You're like a bag of rocks"?

[kali Wylder]

On 10/22/2019 at 1:44 AM, Pixie Kobichenko said:

Being answered with "k" instead of ok just grates on my nerves.  To me it comes across as very dismissive.  Like what I'm saying to you is an annoyance and you don't have interest enoug hto type out two letters as a response.

I also just dislike being called what some think are acceptable terms.

  I am no one's hun, honey, sweetie, girl, lady.  Even greeting me as beautiful even when you don't know me will put me in a grumpy mood.

 

 

I'm guilty of saying 'k or 'kk but I never mean it to be dismissive, it's more like a diminutive to me, a little more intimate than ok and I might ad it takes just as many keystrokes to type 'k as it does ok and even more keystrokes to type 'kk.

But at least I never call anyone hon, honey or lady as I agree that having a stranger using those intimacies is off putting.  I have been known to say Darlin occasionally but sparingly and not to strangers.