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Posting as an alt just to be contentious, obnoxious, back your own argument up when it's failing and to avoid the ban hammer (temporary or otherwise) or avoid getting a bad rep here or inworld, will affect both of your accounts, not just the alt.

Someone being a creator has bunk all to do with it, that's a bad excuse for being obnoxious...own it, lol. Someone admitting to hiding behind an alt to say the things they won't say on their main BECAUSE of those purposes is only going to reiterate something Beth (and many before her I might add) has pointed out.

Some people only come here to be annoying-most of the time because they know they annoy or anger certain people. How they choose to annoy others is what varies, but for some, it's with nothing but malintent. 

I come here and tend to annoy others (and I make no apologies for it, lol) by being verbose in everything I say and do. It gives me great pleasure, not the annoying part that's just a coincidence (not always a happy one, but a coincidence nonetheless). I am overly verbose because the ability to do so, brings me great pleasure.  I type primarily via muscle memory, and I type blindly/ I don't use my TTS or SST applications or hardware, because they're a crutch on which I cannot rely for everything. I have to get used to doing things with the lights out(my lights not the actual lights). It's also why you may find words that aren't really words but I have made them words, and super odd typos that aren't even typos, they're actual words in the wrong places, because I've moved the cursor, lol, in my posts. I also opt not to use the spellcheck more often than not (but that's a matter of stubbornness more than anything, I can't see the stupid red squiggly and it makes me mad, so, I don't bother).

Using four paragraphs to say what I, and probably everyone else here, could say in one gives me practice-yes everyone here is my guinea pig..own it, you're all fabulous-even if you don't like me (which, I'm col with, btw, that's not a woe is me thing, I really do get it, lol). I can't use those tools of practice in my courses, they seem to have higher expectations when you're working towards a master's degree (I know, the nerve!) with very few exceptions (and none for mistypes) . So I use my communication tools in places where I can, the forums happen to be my favorite place to do it, since I've been here (and also slex forums, lol) in some incarnation with actual regularity since 2008. It's familiar and no matter how much I do annoy people...they still haven't kicked me out :D

 

 

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Tari, the creators I know who post as alts don't say anything "bad".  You know very well things can spiral out of control and many simply participating in the thread get suspended.  And I can't blame the poor moderators for not wanting to take the time to sort out the craziness we can all get into here.

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30 minutes ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

I have no problem helping others.. I do it all the time.. There is a time and place however. This thread was neither. We went from talking about a club and exclusivity to Beth freaking out. When a rant starts to flow from your fingertips, its time to take a step back, watch a movie and walk away from the computer for a while. 

Thank you for telling us how we should behave and what we should say and when or where we should use our voices or not. 

How would we emotional women-creatures ever know how to act without the menfolk being around to guide us? 

giphy.gif.8f5cc7a38a613888883dd7587bffc0fa.gif

As to the rest of the... lunacy... I can't keep up with the flurry of insults and accusations by the alt brigade and their leader to respond to one, or any of them, so I'm just going to eat a cookie instead. 

Happy Weekend, y'all. 

 

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3 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

As to the rest of the... lunacy... I can't keep up with the flurry of insults and accusations by the alt brigade and their leader to respond to one, or any of them, so I'm just going to eat a cookie instead. 

Happy Weekend, y'all. 

I'm sorry I can't be a scapegoat for you today Beth.  I got tired of that role.

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1 minute ago, Beth Macbain said:

Thank you for telling us how we should behave and what we should say and when or where we should use our voices or not. 

How would we emotional women-creatures ever know how to act without the menfolk being around to guide us? 

giphy.gif.8f5cc7a38a613888883dd7587bffc0fa.gif

As to the rest of the... lunacy... I can't keep up with the flurry of insults and accusations by the alt brigade and their leader to respond to one, or any of them, so I'm just going to eat a cookie instead. 

Happy Weekend, y'all. 

 

Riiight... Mansplaining.. I dont believe i directed that post at any gender.. You obviously have issues if you think i am in any way misogynistic.. Whatever, enjoy your cookie. 

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I still think being a creator has bunk all to do with it. Been a creator since 2008 myself. If I can't type it on this name..it doesn't need to be typed, end of. 

Wait, that's not enough words, I need more. Ummm, once upon a time...

No, seriously, I think that's a piss poor excuse no matter who is offering it, honestly. If the intent or post content isn't malicious in any way, then one needn't worry about their rep as a creator. I do realize things get heated, all the time, and it may affect whether or nor someone is supported by others (in purchases) either temporarily or even permanently, but that's kind of my point in my first sentence. If you KNOW it's going to be taken wrong, then just knock it off, mea culpa if you need to or feel the need to and move the hell on. I've said and done things that annoy or piss people off many., many times, and most of the time, it's not actually on purpose. When it's not, I can work it out with them, usually, if they're willing to sit through my novels and drivel, and I willing to listen to them. If we don't work it out, then we don't, and I probably wasn't someone they'd buy stuff from in the first place, so I;'m not worried about whether or not they'll support me financially afterward either. If we do work it out, awesome, but I still may very well be someone they'd never buy something form, and that's ok. There are literally tens of thousands of creators I'd never buy from either, and they're perfectly fine with it too, lol.

I forgot where I was going with that, I hate when I do that, lmao.

Anyway...if you can't say it on your regular name, using an alternate name to do it, doesn't bode well, even if the intent isn't necessarily malicious (or doesn't start off that way). No matter how heated a discussion gets and I am sure many of us have seen some reaaaaaaaaaally bad ones here, if it can't be said by what everyone "knows" you as, perhaps it's time to rethink saying it at all. And I damn well know we've all aid things we later regret, or wanted to change, or wanted to take back (for all kinds of reasons, nt all bad). I have the utmost respect for people, creator or not, even if I don't liek them share their opinion/stance on something...that can do so without bringing in the alts to avoid getting a bad rep-that seems really odd.

It's one thing to use alts for entertainment purposes...we have several of those here, or have over the years anyway, but you'll note those alts are never here for any purpose other than that-and we can all see it.That is completely different from using an alt to say what you can't on your main for rep's sake.

 

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1 minute ago, Tari Landar said:

I still think being a creator has bunk all to do with it. Been a creator since 2008 myself. If I can't type it on this name..it doesn't need to be typed, end of. 

No, seriously, I think that's a piss poor excuse no matter who is offering it, honestly. If the intent or post content isn't malicious in any way, then one needn't worry about their rep as a creator.

It's not about reputation -- it's about getting banned and not being able to earn money. I need to send money and special presents to my daughter who has brain cancer, and my grandson.   

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16 minutes ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

9 lines and a picture is a rant? Ooooookay.. Btw, i did go watch a  movie.. so there. :P

Well, we can cavil about the appropriate word count for a "rant" some other time.

The key point is that you unnecessarily and unkindly took Beth to task, not so much for her argument, but for being upset.

When you see someone is upset, it's ungenerous and actually counterproductive to blame them for that -- in part, because you can't possibly know the personal context that might have triggered an emotional response. By all means, continue to address the arguments being made here -- but the best response to someone who is in obvious distress is, if respond you must, to be supportive and give them space to recover their composure.

I know that you present here as a slightly edgy, semi-tough, plain-speaking guy, but I actually like you anyway. And one of the reasons I do is because I know that you are not ungenerous. You're better than this. Really.

I hope you enjoyed your movie. I hope it was something appropriate. The Notebook perhaps? The Princess Bride?

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The pain,their loss.. it’s all I have left of them. You think the grief will make you smaller inside, like your heart will collapse in on itself, but it doesn’t. I feel spaces opening up inside of me like a building with rooms I’ve never explored.

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Just now, Luna Bliss said:

It's not about reputation -- it's about getting banned and not being able to earn money. I need to send money and special presents to my daughter who has brain cancer, and my grandson.   

So, don't be a tool (that's a general, not a you specific thing), choose what and where you post carefully if your rl is dependent on sl earnings (and I get that better than most may realize, my sl earnings paid all of my rl bills, and I do mean ALL for over 4 years).

I mean, you didn't refute any of my actual points, lol, you just reiterated all them :)

 

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I have a story for you, Drake:

What My Puppy Knows About Thunder (That I Don’t)
(What I Learned From a Little Cotton Puff About) How to Carry The Burdens of Existence
umair haque


I got a puppy not so long ago. Or I should say that my partner got us a puppy. But mostly for me. As a little companion, since I have this odd condition where the sunlight can kill me. He’s a tiny white thing, a cloud, a cotton puff, a snowball. The vampire and his ghost dog, my friends joke. He just came to rest on my old boots as I typed these words, this minuscule and sweet and delicate — and sometimes fierce and determined — ghost dog.

It’s the end of the summer here in London. The rain’s started to fall again. We walk to the park under gray skies. Snowy plays with his friends — Kobe, Spikey, Lester, Jackie — all the same. The rain pit-pats against the leaves of the old trees. The dogs laugh and run and chase each other like the sun was pouring golden light down from a blue, blue sky.

Until the thunder comes.

And then Snowy looks up, startled, afraid. He barks his little bark — and runs straight for my arms. All the puppies do.

“It’s OK, little guy”, I tell him, stroking his head as his scared eyes go wide. “It’s just the thunder!” His heart pounds and his little paws judder in my arms. I lift him up. He’s heavier in my arms every day now.

As you probably know — laugh with me — it doesn’t work. It’s the most ineffectual thing in the world to comfort a little puppy when the sky seems to be falling. Snowy whines and yips and whelps every time, just the same. So I take him home. And there in the comfort of his the little den I’ve built for him — just just a yard or two of hardwood, a little bed, toys, water, food — he rests. Until the thunder cracks again. And he comes straight to my arms. It’s easy to laugh. It’s funny — cute — in a way. “Puppies get so scared! They don’t know the sky isn’t falling!”

But my puppy knows something about thunder that I don’t. Something deep and beautiful and strange and true. He is much wiser and truer than I am.

I try to imagine what Snowy feels when the sky pulses with light and roars like an ocean. He feels a sudden reduction, a shocking sense of smallness, I think. That he is the littlest and most vulnerable thing in his whole wide world, at that moment — a world which, so far, is the walk from the park to the pet shop to home and back again, and he has come to know and master in his own little proud way. But when the thunder cracks — so does his little world.

An overwhelming existential fear surges through his little bones like a mighty ocean, in other words. A sense of profound, terrible, impossible loneliness. Powerlessness. Helplessness. He has come face to face with himself in this instant strobe-lit by the lightning piercing the sky. And so he runs for my arms. For consolation, for strength, for nourishment. For safety, for protection, for warmth, for intimacy. I hold him tight.

But the thunder cracks in my life, and yours, too, my friends. We lose our jobs. We fall in and out of love. The person who nourished and raised us passes away. What do we feel? My sky is falling. My sky is falling. Grief, as endless as a river. Sorrow as cold as winter. In those moments, we feel pure despair. The sudden rupture. The unexpected death, the unforeseen loss, the divorce, breakup, firing, end of an age of us. The letting go. Who are we now? Who can we be now that this part of us is gone?

The lightning pierces the sky. We come face to face with the truth of ourselves. In those moments, my friends, we see ourselves as we truly are. Our essential existential condition. Loneliness. Powerlessness. Helplessness. Loss. Finitude. In other words, “life events” like these are so traumatic for us for a very good, and very specific, reason. They strip away all that we have built up to protect ourselves and shield ourselves from the unbearable truth, the impossible pain. Of just existing.

Because just existing is the most painful thing of all. Consider us for a tiny moment. Birth, struggle, love, age, time, death, dust. We have no answers. We have endless questions. Where did we come from? Who put us here? Why are we here at all? Where do we go?

At the core of us, there is an ache. A terrible and profound ache. And that ache hasn’t been recognized enough yet. By our cultures, societies, polities, economies — all these vast and grand systems and structures we have built, or more accurately, rebuild, by spending every day of our lives within their confines. Those systems don’t care that we ache terribly, deep inside. They just give easy and false illusions to try to numb the pain with.

(Existence is a searing ache? Can’t sit with, in, by yourself for ten minutes without feeling helpless? Here — buy some more stuff! You’ll feel better — as long as you feel superior to the next person! It doesn’t work for very long, does it? And the longer it “works”, the worse the disillusionment is in the end. Reach middle age buying into this way of life — and cue a midlife crisis of epic proportions, a sense of futility, meaninglessness, emptiness.)

Our systems and structures have given us, in other words, inadequate solutions to the problem of existence. “Solution” and “problem” are the wrong words, of course. But perhaps you see my point. They offer us illusions of cheap, transient, easy pleasure. They offer us “lifestyles” and consumerism and status competition and dopamine rushes. They offer us drugs — when we are desperate for warmth, intimacy, salvation, consolation, from the unbearable predicament of the existence we find ourselves in.

But what needs to be done — for us to realize ourselves, to continue developing into beings of empathy, curiosity, courage, grace, truth, wisdom, defiance, compassion — is to confront the impossibility of our condition. The truth that just existing is terror enough. Nothing more should ever be added to it — not a day of poverty, a moment of instability, an instant of hunger or thirst. That just existing — that is a burden no one can carry alone.

Ah, did you see that? Now we are back to my puppy and thunder. I said: my puppy is much smarter, wiser than me. He is a truer thing. He walks closer to the earth. He breathes in the soil and the rain. His world is smaller — but it is nearer. He knows something about the thunder that you and I don’t.

Just existing is a burden so heavy that no one can carry it alone.

When the thunder cracks, he leaps into my arms. He’s not ashamed of it. He doesn’t feel guilty about it. He is not afraid I will reject him, wound him, hurt him. He just runs into my arms. He doesn’t hesitate for a moment, second-guess himself, worry, overthink, imagine reasons not to. The thunder cracks. My puppy sees himself in the lightning. He leaps into my arms. Existence is a burden, he knows, so heavy that no one can carry it alone.

Now contrast that with you and I. The thunder cracks in our lives. We’re laid off, we break up, we can’t face the mornings anymore. We are having some kind of episode in our life that strips away all our defenses — and we are coming face to face with the truth of us, which is that just existing is a terrible ache. All those questions without answers. All that fear, dread, terror. Of mortality, of time, of becoming dust. Of being powerless to change it for even a second. Of being helpless, in this deepest of ways. Just like a child. Just like a little puppy.

But what do we do?

We try to carry the burden of existence alone, most of the time. We feel guilty. We feel ashamed. We feel afraid of what others will say, think, do. We say to ourselves: “I can’t tell anyone I lost my job. I can’t tell anyone my marriage isn’t working out. I can’t tell anyone I feel depressed every morning. I must bear this burden alone!” That is what strong people do, isn’t it? It’s not just that that is what our culture — hyperindividualistic, aggressive, macho, valuing dominance and acquisitiveness and ego above all things — says. It is just human, in a way. To want not to burden others.

But here is what we are really saying.

“I can’t tell anyone how lost and alone and afraid I feel. Just existing. Just being. I can’t say it. I can never, ever mention it. That I’m afraid, to my very bones, of being this impossible thing I am. This fragile, limited, finite thing. That will die, become nothing, age, decay. I’m terrified of how powerless I am over my own finitude, of how alone I am in it, of how strange and impossible it is — but it is all the life that I have. I’m frightened of how there are no good answers to the deepest questions I have about just existing at all — and never have been.”

Ah — do you see what we have done? We have made ourselves the victims of a double loneliness. We are condemned, as Sartre said, to be alone — we never really fully know anyone else, no matter how intimate we are. But now we have made ourselves alone even in our loneliness. We have made ourselves alone in carrying all the burdens of existence. Powerlessness, mortality, despair, fear, solitude. I see my puppy when the thunder cracks, in all his loneliness and despair. But that is also because he reveals himself to me. How else could I love him at all?

What happens to someone that tries to carry the burdens of existence alone? Have you ever wondered?

It’s not that they will “fail.” We all fail, in the end, to carry that weight. It’s that they will not even lift it. They will set it down, and walk away. In the opposite direction. Not towards the struggles of life. But away from them. Instead of becoming a person more capable of curiousity, empathy, grace, courage, truth, defiance — they will become less so. They will curdle into egotism, twist into selfishness, crumble into greed. They will become, as Jung said, shadow-selves. They will cease to exist before they have ever really existed at all. They will become shrunken, diminished shadows of who they might have been.

Perhaps that is the point. That to exist takes a very great deal of courage, strength, truth, resolve. Just to exist. Nothing more. It takes whole worlds in us just to wake up every morning and go on. Each and every one of us. As Camus said — nothing is more logical than suicide, for a being who knows he is going to die, but doesn’t know why he was made or lives. And yet we go on.

The turning points that we reach, my friends, are the times that ask us: will we try to carry the impossible, terrible burden of existence alone? One that’s always been to heavy for anyone to shoulder by themselves? Or will we share it — this hidden truth of us, which we are so ashamed of?

Here is a secret. When we share the burden of existence, a kind of magic happens. It is the very opposite of what we are afraid of. Pain becomes happiness, aching becomes joy, suffering is transformed into love, empathy, grace. Two friends share gentle laughter. “You feel all of that? But I do too! I feel just that way!” There is consolation at last, in a universe that, as Camus said, seems indifferent. There is warmth in a cold night. There is a spark in the endless darkness — even just for a moment. There is a glimmer of love lighting the long, winding way home.

I am you and you are me, in this profound and timeless way, and we are all the beings who have ever been. Lost, alone, afraid, ignorant, powerless. The burdens of existence. We are unable to carry them alone. So do we walk away — or do we have the courage and wisdom to share them? Just existing is a terrible curse. But it is also, in fragile, evanescent moments, an impossibly, achingly beautiful thing. Whether it is both, though, is up to us. We must cross the line from despair to grace.

The thunder cracks. My puppy leaps into my arms. I smile. Everyone laughs.I smile and laugh, too. But not for the same reasons everyone else does. Because of what my puppy knows about thunder that I don’t.

Umair
August 2019

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3 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

I need to send money and special presents to my daughter who has brain cancer, and my grandson.   

if i may  what stage of cancer ,,,, i know many great dr and cancer centers  that do amazing life saving work

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Just now, roseelvira said:
5 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

I need to send money and special presents to my daughter who has brain cancer, and my grandson.   

if i may  what stage of cancer ,,,, i know many great dr and cancer centers  that do amazing life saving work

It's 3rd stage Anaplastic Astrocytoma.  She's doing well atm though not quite her former self, and is even teaching again.  The median survival is 2 and 1/2 years and she's at 3 and 1/2, but she has a special genetic component to the tumor that is a good sign for longevity.  But it is a fatal diagnoses.  She has good medical care, in California, and they do seem to specialize in this.

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I just realized an odd irony I probably should've realized a few years ago. 

If I could create more, do better, make more money in sl, I could then cash out and use that to help pay for rl...stuff.. that would greatly slow down the rate at which I am going blind.

But I can't do any of that, because I'm going blind. Oh good grief, lol

But, it's related to this thread..well now it is, because....when our rl is dependent on things we do online, we have to be very careful of those things we do online, if for no other reason to not shoot our own selves in the foot. That was my main point there-ignore everything else, and use that as the take away...or don't, whatever tickles your pickle :D 

 

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12 minutes ago, Tari Landar said:

I still think being a creator has bunk all to do with it. Been a creator since 2008 myself. If I can't type it on this name..it doesn't need to be typed, end of. 

Wait, that's not enough words, I need more. Ummm, once upon a time...

No, seriously, I think that's a piss poor excuse no matter who is offering it, honestly. If the intent or post content isn't malicious in any way, then one needn't worry about their rep as a creator. I do realize things get heated, all the time, and it may affect whether or nor someone is supported by others (in purchases) either temporarily or even permanently, but that's kind of my point in my first sentence. If you KNOW it's going to be taken wrong, then just knock it off, mea culpa if you need to or feel the need to and move the hell on. I've said and done things that annoy or piss people off many., many times, and most of the time, it's not actually on purpose. When it's not, I can work it out with them, usually, if they're willing to sit through my novels and drivel, and I willing to listen to them. If we don't work it out, then we don't, and I probably wasn't someone they'd buy stuff from in the first place, so I;'m not worried about whether or not they'll support me financially afterward either. If we do work it out, awesome, but I still may very well be someone they'd never buy something form, and that's ok. There are literally tens of thousands of creators I'd never buy from either, and they're perfectly fine with it too, lol.

I forgot where I was going with that, I hate when I do that, lmao.

Anyway...if you can't say it on your regular name, using an alternate name to do it, doesn't bode well, even if the intent isn't necessarily malicious (or doesn't start off that way). No matter how heated a discussion gets and I am sure many of us have seen some reaaaaaaaaaally bad ones here, if it can't be said by what everyone "knows" you as, perhaps it's time to rethink saying it at all. And I damn well know we've all aid things we later regret, or wanted to change, or wanted to take back (for all kinds of reasons, nt all bad). I have the utmost respect for people, creator or not, even if I don't liek them share their opinion/stance on something...that can do so without bringing in the alts to avoid getting a bad rep-that seems really odd.

It's one thing to use alts for entertainment purposes...we have several of those here, or have over the years anyway, but you'll note those alts are never here for any purpose other than that-and we can all see it.That is completely different from using an alt to say what you can't on your main for rep's sake.

 

Tari, although I like your posts a lot, I confess I don’t always read them, because they need more paragraph breaks IMO. A result of my Twitter habit, no doubt.

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2 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

t's 3rd stage Anaplastic Astrocytoma.  She's doing well atm though not quite her former self, and is even teaching again.  The median survival is 2 and 1/2 years and she's at 3 and 1/2, but she has a special genetic component to the tumor that is a good sign for longevity.  But it is a fatal diagnoses.  She has good medical care, in California, and they do seem to specialize in this.

if you wish any info for second opinions please im me inworld,   there are so many new treatmenats and a lot of the centers here are  joining together  the proton beam is a huge success and many other  ,,,, and just becasue they say it is it does not have to be ,,,,, miricles happen every day    i know i few that is has    

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For no particular reason other than that it's Friday and my mind is wandering, this thread reminds me of the comment: "We are put on Earth to help others. I am not sure what the others are here for."  Sadly, I can't remember who said that -- it sounds like Mark Twain but probably isn't -- but it seems appropriate here somehow.  Not related to anyone in particular, just in general.  Anyway, this is where my mind went on a Friday afternoon. We all have a different idea about how to help, or whether, or when, or whom.  And as people have said in the other current thread about compliments, we each react differently to "help."  It's a crazy world out there.  No wonder none of us comes out of it alive.

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3 minutes ago, Pamela Galli said:

Tari, although I like your posts a lot, I confess I don’t always read them, because they need more paragraph breaks IMO. A result of my Twitter habit, no doubt.

I know, I try to include more of them now, but I usually get stuck in a typing , most would probably call frenzy but for me it's really not it's just a pattern, sort of, I'm not sure what to call it, lol. Once I start getting typing, I don't stop very easily-that's where the muscle memory thing kind of lets me down, a lot. I keep going and going and going, it's a very bad habit of mine. One I'm working on, but most days, I'm still really bad at it. 

I  also forget to check where I need more white space, or if the day is going particularly badly, vision wise, I'll look up, see what LOOKS like empty space and...

it's really not white space at all, lol. 

A lot of people just jump past my posts anyway because they're really annoyingly long, and I get that completely. It used to bother me, especially when people pointed it out, but now, eh, it is what it is. It's no slight against me, and I don't hold it against others, most of the time.....sometimes I do, when I'm in a pissy mood (and that's also usually the point when I realize I need to walk the hell away from a thread and either take a break, or just go into "read only mode" for that thread. Some days I'm good, some days...eh...I've run into the wall one too many times so even a leaf hitting my foot that I didn't want to hit my foot gets under my skin. 

 

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4 minutes ago, Rolig Loon said:

For no particular reason other than that it's Friday and my mind is wandering, this thread reminds me of the comment: "We are put on Earth to help others. I am not sure what the others are here for."  Sadly, I can't remember who said that -- it sounds like Mark Twain but probably isn't -- but it seems appropriate here somehow. 

I actually know this one, lol. It's usually attributed to W.H Auden but it's actually  Thomas Robert Dewar, and Auden actually included another snippet "We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for, I don’t know", while Dewar's was simply "If we are here to help others, I often wonder what the others are here for." 

I have no idea why I actually know that, though, except that it has something to do with altruism. 

 

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