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cheesecurd

Nudity is not consent, learn peoples boundaries.

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This is an issue myself and some other users in my friend group have been having recently. I don’t really partake in much SL adult activities with another person, and if I do it’s going to be with my spouse. However a lot of the places I enjoy hanging out at are A rated, very casual settings, stand around and chat types.

And I will often be naked or at the very least partially clothed. As will many other people there: And inherently with an adult space pretty much any piece of furniture has some functions beyond face value. And of course some adult activity is going on somewhere in the space.

(do I need to word things like this? I don’t want to seem blatant with wording and get a forum ban)

But not everyone is there for that. I find it fun to parade my butt around but it’s also just to fit in better to a crowd of other casually nude people. But the problem I’m having is people who presume that nudity is consent. It is most definitely not.

Just because I’m naked doesn’t mean I’m going to instantly answer your pushy IMs. Hovering around me, while I normally don’t care about proximity, is a bit creepy when it goes on for too long and comes with a bunch of IMs.

And that’s another point, I don’t care if you’re going to look. It’s a casually nude setting, nobody does. But don’t be so unbelievably blatant about it because at that point it’s not just creepy, it’s also rude. I don’t keep showlookat turned on so I don’t care if your cameras crosshair is on me. But people practically walking into me and physically pushing me out of the little chat group I’m in is super irritating.

If I sit on any furniture in these places I usually have a friend sit with me, because if I don’t, some random person tends to show up and I get an endless chain of pop ups in the corner “xyzusername wants to control animations” or whatever. Now I understand I am a nude person in an A rated space, but unless I were to specifically state so in some way, me chilling naked it is not consent. 

My friend group has by this point really considered the nudity a norm, and we’re looking into M rated clubs and spaces instead to try and avoid as much of that as possible.

Have any of you had this problem in the past? I’ve heard it’s particularly bad at the more public nude beaches for human avatars. 

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5 hours ago, cheesecurd said:

I’ve heard it’s particularly bad at the more public nude beaches for human avatars.

The normie-crowd is even more out-of-touch with internet/SL etiquette than the average furry.

Yeah, it happens, mainly because it's a "kind of reasonable" assumption that an adult place with open nudity is gonna have a lot of people there that are up for sex. (Never mind the fact that SL in general is very fetishizing.) The probability is high, so some people don't assume that any individual person wouldn't be up for sex. Because "why else would you be here?" It's not very far from "what were you wearing?"

It's an inherent problem with human beings looking for social cues. What you say and how you present yourself (clothes/tattoos/accessories/body language/etc) are used to implicitly tell other people about yourself, and those people will interpret that signaling by their own standards. If someone is there for sex, and your butt is out and swinging about, they're gonna interpret that as a good time. Whether or not they ask to confirm is a separate process.

Edited by Wulfie Reanimator
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53 minutes ago, Wulfie Reanimator said:

The normie-crowd is even more out-of-touch with internet/SL etiquette than the average furry

I would almost say the opposite. While the average sub 30 day, found a 10L$ dong on the marketplace stock avatar dude is definitely a nuisance, they at least try and talk to you first. In fact I got a chance to talk to one who was presumably a real person and took the hints pretty quickly and toned down his conversation a bit to something more casual. Most of the human avatars I meet will at the very least try and poorly flirt with you before getting really annoying.

Other furries though, oof. They presume that with the inherently sexual nature of the community and that you’re not wearing any underwear that OF COURSE you have to be there for sex. They’re the ones who would just hop on a piece of furniture or start some less than desirable standing animations around myself and others. Rarely even say a word, and tend to get defensive if you shoot them down.

And the communities I like to hang around are open to all and while different groups still get a little cliquey, most groups keep to themselves. But there’s always those stragglers in each who sort of rotate from group to group being overtly aggressive in each until they’re kinda pushed out and then they move to the next.

I get it, SL and adult content is just very sexual, a solid amount of the A rated spaces you would go to that aren’t stores are for casual hookups. But that’s just not always the case and it’s super annoying that lot of people take that mentality to other places where that’s not the norm and don’t bother to read social cues first before diving in.

Why stand around naked, or why even be here? Is what I and many others get a lot. And it’s a bunch of things, I just find it fun. It’s definitely a sex thing on some level. Can’t really just go around naked irl but I can in SL and I enjoy it, same as a lot of friends I’ve made and others I’ve met in these types of places. Some people like a nude beach or whatever for themselves and get a bit of enjoyment out of it in other ways than just virtual sex. 
Those kids of places in particular, nude beaches or clubs or other venues where casual nudity is the focus I feel like it would be obvious for people new to it to quickly pick up that “hey, this place isn’t just about sex and hookups”.

Casual nudity isn’t always explicitly sexual either but even when it is, that doesn’t mean it’s the full scope of sexual fun.

 

This just turned into a rant tbh. I’ve got plenty more stories and words of mild irritation from the standpoint of a degenerate naked furry if anyone cares to hear them.

 

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9 minutes ago, cheesecurd said:

I would almost say the opposite. While the average sub 30 day, found a 10L$ dong on the marketplace stock avatar dude is definitely a nuisance, they at least try and talk to you first. In fact I got a chance to talk to one who was presumably a real person and took the hints pretty quickly and toned down his conversation a bit to something more casual. Most of the human avatars I meet will at the very least try and poorly flirt with you before getting really annoying.

I dunno, I speak from the perspective of having a "human alt" that I use almost exclusively to interact with human-focused or anti-furry places while wearing no skimpy clothing.

I've lost count of the amount of times I've been interrupted by some random human (almost never a <200 day account) with some heavy "hey bb lets bang" type of flirting in non-sexual hangouts and stores. It's worse in stores that sell sex furniture. I've seen people stand some distance away and fumble through the process of pulling off their clothes or putting their wang on before "joining in" without saying a word first (they sometimes start the IMs right after, sometimes they never IM until you do), even though I'm fully clothed.

It's bizarre and it's the reason why I always keep the People window open while shopping so I don't get randomly surprised.

I get that these are just anecdotal experiences though, just because we have opposing experiences doesn't mean one of us is wrong.

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23 minutes ago, Wulfie Reanimator said:

It's bizarre and it's the reason why I always keep the People window open while shopping so I don't get randomly surprised.

I’ve seen stuff like that, I hate that there are people who think that’s acceptable. Kinda stand in the background in adult stores and try to drop in. It feels really predatory. 

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8 hours ago, cheesecurd said:

we’re looking into M rated clubs and spaces

do this

i can't remember its exact name at the moment but there is a beach region for human avatars called sexy something. Nude or swimwear. And its M-rated. Lots of people hanging out, often a DJ - beach dance party.  Next to it is an A-rated region. Apart from the odd explorer having a nosey, the A-rated region attracts zero people

the interaction between people on the M-rated beach tends to follow RL norms.  Hi, love your avatar. Would you like to dance with me?

the region officers/moderators are quite active in explaining to people, when necessary,  how not to be a dick

there are a number of places on the grid, for different kinds of genre, which are the same.  The success of these kinds of places is pretty much determined by how well the officers/moderators deal with people who do behave like a dick. The most successful are those which are moderated by sensible people. Quiet IM to the person asking them to chill it bey  

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15 minutes ago, Mollymews said:

can't remember its exact name at the moment but there is a beach region for human avatars

That’s an issue I’m having trying to find places, because I don’t have a human avatar and neither do the majority of the people I know interesting in the same.

There aren’t really many universally acceptable M rated nude beaches and clubs.

 

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7 minutes ago, cheesecurd said:

That’s an issue I’m having trying to find places, because I don’t have a human avatar and neither do the majority of the people I know interesting in the same.

There aren’t really many universally acceptable M rated nude beaches and clubs.

 

is about here that the only advice that will totally resolve the situation for yourself and your group of friends, is to consider pooling your resources and making your own place. When you and your friends do this, and moderate it sensibly, then it will attract others like yourself and become quite popular

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A plot on the M mainland or even a linden home would do it - save that you cannot put the linden home in search or use it to sell things.

One of the most successful hip-hop / soul clubs for years in SL was just a 1024m plot in Bay City with a prim on the ground. Not sure if it even had a dance ball.

People liked it because it was obviously NOT some 'blaxploitation place' with stupid 'gang' themes, and 'that certain becky like' type of white people avoided it because it was 'not blaxploitation' and the avatars talked like human beings so they assumed they were bots because they refused to believe non-whites could talk...

 

- Basically if you want to get your actual desired demographic, avoid tropes / stereotypes and things that will attract griefers / roleplayers / etc.

 

Put up a furry joint, don't rez any sex furniture, avoid the crazy gloeing purple routines in all the other furry places, put a very basic 'nudity allowed' sign... and real people will show up.

 

Edited by Pussycat Catnap
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I personally don't like wearing clothes in SL because I'm not good with fashion. I have one hoodie and one pant. I only wear them when I absolutely need to. So I can understand where you are coming from when you get messages like this.

When I get IMs along the lines of "hey sexy ;)" and "wanna do it?"(worded differently), I simply either ignore them, or if I feel like it, I weird them out and they go away. (Normally getting on voice and hearing my lispy male voice is enough LMAO)

As for sitting on furniture, If I don't want people using my avatar, I will either pick a solo seat, or a seat without adult animations. However this is rare because I don't care too much about stuff like that. I understand some people see it differently, but to me, it's pixels, it won't hurt me.

But yes, I do agree, Nudity does not mean sexual content, nor does it mean "HEY I AM HORNY LETS DO THE THINGS". This issue also exists within the BDSM community, it isn't always about sex, sure it plays a role, but that isn't what it all is about.

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Nudity does not mean consent but in RL nudity is associated with sex especially here in the US.  And wrongly of course the less clothes a woman wears in public the more she will be assumed to be “sexual” or a tramp.  

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15 minutes ago, StrykerHawk said:

If you are in a location known foe sex then what do you expect

I expect you not to assume that you would be the person I choose to have sex with, if I choose to have sex at all. 

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Dont fall asleep on the beach cause me and the newbies will be there without our AO’s  and a free dong that has serious color mismatch issues with our body

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On 10/20/2019 at 6:53 AM, Alyona Su said:

Nudity is not consent, but it is implication.

Possibly if you are at a sexual location, but otherwise no it isn't - and every nudist colony I've ever associated with would have absolute fits over that statement.

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On 10/20/2019 at 7:53 AM, Alyona Su said:

Nudity is not consent, but it is implication.

I get what you mean but even if there is an implication, the implication may not be the truth and as such should never be acted upon without confirming the implication is what the implier wants to imply.

the implication

48C32562-D1DF-4664-9F88-EE0A8FE5A0A9.thumb.jpeg.58e4f170118b6932a8f9d558f8a2f6bd.jpeg

 

10 hours ago, usedcars said:

Nudity does not mean consent but in RL nudity is associated with sex especially here in the US.  And wrongly of course the less clothes a woman wears in public the more she will be assumed to be “sexual” or a tramp.  

The issue is a matter of just picking up on context. It would be one thing if everyone was being a lot more provocative or generally lewd, or had a lot more going on that would imply they were there for sex. But nudity alone is not anywhere near the criteria to give off that vibe to anyone with more than 2 brain cells. 
Shouldn’t be difficult to look at a person and pick up on what they’re about, what they’re doing and their demeanor pretty quickly. 
 

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