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Eva Knoller

Personality Type

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I’ve noticed some talk of personality types in recent threads, and am curious to see who identifies as introvert vs. extrovert. SL seems to appeal the the introvert in a lot of people.

I am an introvert who is forced to be extroverted at work and professional settings. As a result I REALLY value my recharge time. 

Please indulge my curiosity! 
 

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^^^Me too. I grew up shy and awkward. Work forced me to adapt, and over time gave me the confidence to present to groups, and for a while I was a trainer.

From that, there was no way back, but I still avoid crowds whenever possible, and holiday in places which are quiet.

In SL some of this holds true, but I probably come across as more confident than I feel inside. 

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5 minutes ago, BelindaN said:

^^^Me too. I grew up shy and awkward. Work forced me to adapt, and over time gave me the confidence to present to groups, and for a while I was a trainer.

From that, there was no way back, but I still avoid crowds whenever possible, and holiday in places which are quiet.

In SL some of this holds true, but I probably come across as more confident than I feel inside. 

The crowd thing is especially true for me too. I try to avoid at most costs. Disney is a special kind of magical hell for me, and we have annual passes, so that’s fun. LOL

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Growing up, in school primarily, I was made to be introverted to some extent by force of elimination. By force of elimination I merely mean others eliminated my ability to participate, by force if necessary (in words and in action).

I am not naturally an introvert, nor am I an extrovert either, though. I introvert myself when I need to, and I become an extrovert when I want to, both are somewhat situaitonally dependent, but not always. I'm a mixed bag of personalities, which one you get to see any any given time is...eh....a lot up to chance. I throw them all in a bag, give it a good shake, and yank one out, sometimes appropriately, sometimes not. 

Sometimes I like talking or participating, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I'm nice, and well, sometimes I have no reason to be. I'm a very, very mixed bag, there is very little about me that isn't eclectic as all get out, especially my personality. Some like it, some are intrigued, but to most its

"ffs..it's her again"

I'm cool with whatever interpretation people have about me at any given time, most of the time (minus when they're really, really, really way off base, or insulting for insulting's sake), because, odds are good they're both right and wrong. 

 

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Terms such as introversion and extroversion weren't part of my vocabulary until some years ago, after a RL/SL relationship broke down, and I had to "find" myself. But I am an introvert (similarly forced to be an extrovert), and do have a formal Dx of Asperger's (2014)--it's through Torley Linden's video on the topic that I came to the conclusion, and decided to seek an assessment. So SL, for a long time, was a testbed for social interaction/skills. Although, after a hiatus, and I've been back since 2017--I'm about as introverted in SL now, as I am IRL. I keep myself to myself, but I don't intentionally ignore people either. 

What annoys slightly me, though, is how misunderstood introversion is. In facebook groups, I've seen a lot of people who think that some traumatic event or upbringing made them an introvert. Also, often mistakingly conflated with shyness. It's neurological--you're either born an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert (that weird middle ground). 

While on the topic of personality types. I discovered MBTI along the road/journey of self-discovery. Although the validity and usefulness is debatable, I'm supposedly an INTJ. 
 

Edited by Nastasha Szaberwick
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Those of us on the Introvert end of the spectrum have known for a long time  -- and it's well-supported by research -- that introverts can usually fake being extroverted, at least for short periods of time.  Extroverts have a much harder time of it.    I spent 40 years teaching large classes and then managing administrative affairs before I finally retired.  I would always take 10 minutes or so before a class or a large meeting to psych myself up, getting into the role of a crowd person.  Afterwards, I would feel the tension relax as I returned to "normal".  I was a good teacher and administrator, but I have always been energized by being alone or in a small group setting.  I can fake being a crowd person, but it takes effort.

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16 minutes ago, Rolig Loon said:

Those of us on the Introvert end of the spectrum have known for a long time  -- and it's well-supported by research -- that introverts can usually fake being extroverted, at least for short periods of time.

this is me. I can fake being quite extroverted at parties and other social gatherings but I don't stay long. As when I do switch extrovert mode on, then I can get a little bit manic sometimes 

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I'm totally introverted.  I'm fine with a small group IF I know them very well.  I have trained myself to be able to do things like training sessions or presentations when I must, but it is extremely wearing on me.  Each year, in RL, my husband and I have a large party - anywhere from 50-100 guests throughout the evening/night.  It is really difficult for me because I only know about 10% of the people really well, yet feel that I must chit chat with everyone for at least a few minutes because I'm hosting the party.  Similarly, our block has a block party every year.  I know most of my neighbors fairly well, but we aren't close.  Attending that party is super hard for me, almost causing a panic.  Part of the difference with the party that we throw in our house is that if things get rough, I can always go to the kitchen and occupy myself with some sort of food prep, to give myself a time-out.

Oddly enough, in SL, while I'm still very quiet in a new setting, I seem to warm up a bit easier and will thus venture into a conversation a bit quicker than in RL.  These forums are a prime example of that.  I really didn't lurk very long, all those years ago, before I jumped into some conversations.  Probably has something to do with the fact that my RL self is sort of anonymous here.  Rejection here is hard, but not quite as hard as RL rejection -- or, as it more likely the case, my "perceived" rejection.

Edited by LittleMe Jewell
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Although I show as on the border between introvert and extrovert when taking Myers-Briggs style surveys, that's because I'm a natural introvert who knows the value of extroversion. Very few people who know me, RL or SL, would call me an introvert and are surprised when I make that claim.

When I was a child, my parents (Dad really) threw large summer outdoor parties. They were fairly elaborate affairs, starting around 11AM and culminating in a movie shown on a giant screen in the barn and, for the night owls, some time at the telescope. Throughout the day, I'd need to step away from these shindigs for a walk in the woods or on the beach. On one trip to the beach, I encountered another person coming back. I was not the only one in need of recharging from the drain of dealing with the crowd. That other person was... Dad. He too knew the value of extroversion.

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I'm completely introverted although rl hasn't always allowed me to be. 

Growing up I lived in the middle of nowhere with my dad. I was homeschooled until high school. I was a lecturer at university until about ten years ago. I also performed opera, Celtic and jazz music throughout my life. 

Inworld I have taught role play classes. I've been an admin for a role play sim for several years. I volunteered my time in my spiritual community helping new comers for about eight years. I've sang and recited poetry. I'm also my sister's assistant for her residential sim. Most of the time now, I just don't force interaction with others on a large scale because it is exhausting. It has become more about me time while in SL which makes me feel quite selfish, but I really do need the down time.

I took the personality test that @Beth Macbain posted. Thank you Beth for the link. I've never head of a test like that. Very interesting.

Results: Advocate INFJ-t
Edited by LyricalBookworm
Cause I wanted to add my results for the personality test. :D
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                                                                    118956732_untitled.pngshoutout.png.91cc01a338483d9bcebbda5462a1c664.png

1 hour ago, LyricalBookworm said:

Most of the time now, I just don't force interaction with others on a large scale because it is exhausting.

     I  am an introvert. And most introverts also are empaths . I cannot handle crowds, Hate real life shopping  but in sl that is sooooo much a different thing    .... When i use to go to the dance venue in sl  my avi would go to the side and dance alone ,,,, a few times i would accept a dance  and then  thank the person and go back to dancing alone, It spills over into sl.  

  

Edited by roseelvira
ehh
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Nothing wrong with me! *woodywoodpecker laugh. Which, of course is why I can relate immediately & perfectly with students who have a myriad of cognitive disabilities. This IS my day job. Most of them perform near miracles and always come close to top of the class, which they have never even come close to before. Nothing wrong with me! 😬 lololololol  😄😊 ISTJ-A which doesn't quite account for performing on stage as a lead multi-instrumentalist, (shared role), for years. Except for shaking nervously, almost hiding and wanting to run away immediately after rather accomplished performances. o.0 .... (whispers) Gemini <- aha! There it is. 8-/ 8^)

Edited by Maryanne Solo
Add type n stuff.
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I first took the Myers-Briggs test in college. I didn't think too much about it other than being told I was in the rarest of the rare category - and that the guy I was crushing hard on, and who was sitting next to me doodling on my shoe, was the opposite and we'd probably kill each other if we were a couple. We never hooked up.

He was freaking hot, though. 

Anyway, I've taken it a few times over the  years, about once a decade, just to see if I've changed or if that first rarest of the rare was a fluke. 

It wasn't, and since I started thinking about who and what I am, it's completely me - the INFJ. It's almost scary how accurate it is. And as special and rare as I thought I was, I have met dozens and dozens of INFJs in Second Life. I think SL draws us introverts. It's perfect for us. We can be as sociable as we want, or not be sociable at all. When we need to recharge, we can go to our own little corners of the grid, or we can literally unplug it and make it disappear. 

There's a long story I won't go into about how I accepted and embraced being an introvert, but it has to do with refusing to capitulate to someone who believed that  introverts are broken human beings. 

Since I walked away from that black cloud, I've worn my introversion as a badge.I won't hesitate to tell people that I need to go be alone for a while. I like myself. I love my own company. I don't bore myself. Being an introvert is freaking awesome. 

introverts-unite-e1472018729952.png.54565d0dde48ac825d867e42737477c0.png

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   I'm an INFP

   I get grumpy if I don't frequently have time to myself, time where I'm completely alone.

   If I was talked into going to a party, I preferred to stand somewhere, unnoticed, and watch other people do their thing, get their group groove on. I was the one at the party who was always internally thinking of reasons to leave the party. I can engage and participate in a social, crowd type situation, even enjoying myself. But this is something I learned how to do, and it will usually entail my spending a longer than usual amount of time alone, pursuing solo activities, and recharging.

   I like booths at restaurants.

   I enjoy (and sometimes not so much) having a high empathy and perception in social situations. This is somewhat muted in SL, as it either lacks many of the cues I can perceive in real space, or they are muted. I don't like to see others in conflict and will often feel a desire to help resolve it, if not actually act to do so. Often enough I'm fully aware there's nothing I can do. It's a special kind of pain.

   My family has learned over time that it's ok for them to go do something fun even if I don't want to go along, and that often it's something I actually need.

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Through the years, I've taken so many Myers-Briggs style surveys that I can slot myself into any of the sixteen boxes with ease. I took a survey just a few days ago (I think in response to a thread here) and decided to avoid all the boxes. I got pretty close, scoring within two percent of a 50/50 draw in all four categories, which might be as close as one can get to XXXX. Over years of taking these surveys with NO intent to put myself in any particular box, I have averaged XNXP. Who I am and how I act are two different things, and I'm never sure which is being "measured" by the questions.

Edited by Madelaine McMasters
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INFP that's my Myers Brigs type

introverted, intuitive, feeling, perceptive

Add to that I'm clinically depressed and have been all my life, or at least as far back as I can remember.

I too, can be the fake extrovert for a short time when I'm inspired. But I need a day to myself afterwards or I will totally melt down.  SL inspires me more than RL does.

Edited by kali Wylder
too many buts
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Maddy, you are what the professionals call a Poor Subject or a Bad Team Player.  Once you are familiar enough with the test, you can play it like a violin.  Anyone can.  All you have to do is answer dishonestly.  But of course after you've taken it a few times, it's no longer possible to be objectively naive.  You are forever corrupted, a broken, dishonest subject, no matter how you try to redeem yourself.  You might as well set yourself on fire and be done with it.  😈

(EDIT:  I should confess that I, too, am hopelessly broken.  The last time I took the M-B test, I was an INFP.  I was tryingg to be as honest as possible, so that's possibly a real result.  However, I have had a scatter of results over the years, just as you have. )

Edited by Rolig Loon
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Hmmm. According to the free test I just took, I'm a "ENFP-A," or a "campaigner"?

Sure!

I'm not sure how much credence I put in a simple binary like extrovert/introvert. In some very obvious ways I'm an extrovert.

Like Rolig, I teach, but I don't need to steel myself for it: I absolutely adore being at the front of the classroom and the centre of attention, and it takes me like 15 minutes to come down from the high afterwards.

I live, by choice, on a busy street in the downtown core of a very large and busy city: I am surrounded by urban crowds and bustle and noise all the time, and I love it.

I'm not a huge party-goer (see below), but I have a reasonable sized circle of friends, mostly women, with whom I socialize regularly (i.e., weekly).

In SL, I enjoy my time by myself and, in fact, by default am often "hidden" from many of my friends . . . but I have also always gravitated towards communities and groups of common interest, and I've taken a leading role in a few of those, including doing things like leading discussion groups.

On the other hand . . .

I don't like socializing much in large groups, or at parties where there are more than, say, 8 or so people.

I hate small talk.

I sometimes hesitate to approach someone in a busy social situation because I worry that I'm not of interest to them, and don't want to monopolize time that they might prefer to spend talking to others.

I am terrible at introducing myself to new people.

And in SL, I almost never make friendship offers, or, for that matter, initiate contact with new people through IMs (although I do contribute to and enjoy local and group chat).

So, I don't know . . . am I atypical?

Edited by Scylla Rhiadra
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I think SL tends to attract introverts!

According to Myers-Briggs, I'm one...AND I am a teacher...who enjoys it...and who, like Maddy and her dad, needs some alone time to recharge afterwards.

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I did the test thing several years ago, and it said I am ISTJ. I did it again recently and got the same result, so I guess that's what I am. ISTJ = Introvert something something something = get off my lawn!

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2 minutes ago, Lindal Kidd said:

I think SL tends to attract introverts!

According to Myers-Briggs, I'm one...AND I am a teacher...who enjoys it...and who, like Maddy and her dad, needs some alone time to recharge afterwards.

I would NOT have pegged you as an introvert, Lindal.

Could it be that SL is such a different kind of environment, that it renders those conventional categories a bit moot?

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