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3 minutes ago, Lindal Kidd said:

Now, if that lamb were a baby goat, your comment would have REALLY been confusing!

I came way too close to asking "which kid". I stopped myself before I actually typed the question.

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2 minutes ago, Selene Gregoire said:

No, that's Love, not me and mine. We're wolves. He's alpha, I'm omega.  I think you can figure out who the peacekeeper is. ;)

Oh, shoot, you're right!  My bad, I saw your post and thought it was Love making the comment.  Of COURSE you are a wolf!

29885-wolves-love-2560x1440-artistic-wallpaper.jpg&f=1&nofb=1

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6 minutes ago, Lindal Kidd said:

Oh, shoot, you're right!  My bad, I saw your post and thought it was Love making the comment.  Of COURSE you are a wolf!

29885-wolves-love-2560x1440-artistic-wallpaper.jpg&f=1&nofb=1

1wwqZZ.gif

Edited by Selene Gregoire
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45 minutes ago, Selene Gregoire said:

I came way too close to asking "which kid". I stopped myself before I actually typed the question.

Maresy dotes and doesy dotes and little lambsy divey, a kiddly divey too, wouldn’t you?

Edited by Love Zhaoying
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14 hours ago, AylinVali said:

I see no issue with platonic cuddling/hugging so long as everyone consents. Especially amongst friends. But I'm a super affectionate person so. -shrug-

I agree - and as long as everyone else also includes any RL partners as well as SL ones.

The only person who can tell you if a particular activity is cheating, is your own partner.

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Depends on the type of relationship and level of trust you and your partner has in SL

Edited by ballparkdogg
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On 9/9/2019 at 1:17 AM, MomoKaeledyr said:

Not sure if this is the right place or not.

Anyway, my question is... what are peoples opinions on platonic cuddling with friends (same gender or not) when you're in a relationship?

For me, I personally don't care. It's just a form of affection, and realistically, it's just pixels.

However, I've found that a lot of people on here really don't like it if their partner cuddles (especially with the gender they're attracted to, even if they're not attracted to the person they're cuddling)

I'm someone that can't handle much physical contact in my real life due to various reasons, so I love to cuddle in SL.

I was just wondering if anyone could give me any insight into this?


Thank you!

My opinion doesn't matter as much as your partner's does; it depends on what you both agree upon as fair and reasonable as you are the two who have the greatest stake in all this.

Personally when I am in a relationship and see that person cuddling someone else I don't like it. I'm probably old school, and I don't really care if people judge or try to convince me otherwise. To me there is a difference between hugging and cuddling, and again that definition will depend on the persons involved and what we as a couple think is mutually acceptable. It also depends on circumstance. As far as I am concerned hugging is for greeting, or bidding goodbye, or celebrations, or commiserations, or showing support, and all the usual day-to-day things we may encounter. Cuddling denotes a more intimate aspect (though again this depends on one's definition between hugging and cuddling and the context applied); I certainly don't "cuddle" my parents the same way I cuddle with my boyfriend (I hug one and cuddle the other, regardless the words I use in my daily speech). But therein lies the difference. I don't care whether he is cuddling someone of the same sex or opposite sex as cuddling is something we do as a couple in a relationship. It helps define the boundaries of our relationship, and by that I mean something we do that he doesn't do with others that is "just for us" (and no I'm not referring to sex either).

It doesn't matter to me whether it's in pixel form or real life, though perhaps I am a tad more lenient on the pixel side as realistically the emotional attachment that I have with my SL partners has never been equal to anything had in the real world. But that is because I don't see SL as an extension of my real life. It's not a game but I don't log in as "me" either; I log in as an escape from one and an idealized version of another so there is a dissonance and distance there. When I log in I am in some form immediately immersed in a kind of role play with a role play partner. Feelings between us may certainly be real, and as with the last few relationships they have extended outside of SL to where we regularly communicate in real life as actual friends (though nothing more and no intentions to do so), but they aren't in effect "real". I am a jealous person but not irrational. I like feeling valued and equal share in a relationship. If my partner is sharing what I perceive to be affection with others then that diminishes what is left for me. I don't like sharing. I don't do Poly. We are in a relationship or we aren't. I let my last partner "cuddle" others and that led to him taking that steps further. It's a risk to take, and one I was okay with at the time. But feelings still have the potential to get hurt no matter how broad-minded we think we are. Unless of course you really one-hundred percent don't care, and kudos if you don't. Now I know I'm not so broadminded so I know where the restrictions lay. And there are restrictions in a relationship; if he wants to see other people he absolutely can. But he won't be my boyfriend while he is doing it. 

Regarding insight; I was thinking about this just the other day after I first read the OP. It made me reflect on SL and how often it fills a gap in our real lives. I personally know of a lot of people who are restricted in meeting people in the real world and so look to SL as a social outlet if not their main social outlet. People get to play out their darkest fantasies which sometimes appear to be their "opposite" personas; a RL housewife gets to experience life as a sex kitten, a RL businessman gets to experience life as a hobo, someone retired in RL can wear a teen or even a toddler avatar if they want, that kind of thing. Those that can't tolerate physical affection in the real world can explore that aspect here without the risk or repercussion or impact on their daily lives. I think that's what you mentioned in your OP. I'll add myself here as a classic case in point. I cannot have children in RL, so in SL I've had many. Some would say too many. I'm more receptive to it because I can't have it in the RL and it's a conscious decision. To that end I think that also may be why you tend to grant such leeway with others indulging in physical (pixel) contact; maybe you know how the restrictions feel in RL so don't wish to impose those same feelings onto others? It may be as simple as wishing to give others whatever freedoms you don't feel (or don't want) afforded in RL. Or you could just be a people pleaser; that's a possibility too and as I don't know you at all I'm just guessing. No insult intended whatsoever with anything I said, just thinking aloud is all.

At the end of the day as we are all here for our individual reasons you do what makes you happy (notwithstanding laws and TOS of course); it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

The TL;DR version:

Platonic cuddling; no.

Platonic hugging; yes.

:) 

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The issue is trust for one. The issue is also perception.

If somebody sees their significant other engaging in platonic cuddling, their natural instinct is going to be a curiousity about what else they might be doing. This isn't as much of a factor if the person knew their partner was into it and trust was deep, of course. But if trust is the slightest of issues, this could be a trigger for problems.

Also there is perception. I might be fine with you cuddling with your BFF. I might not be cool with everyone else seeing it and assuming you are much more than BFFs.

I've seen couples form after months of dancing and cuddling while calling each other best friend or brother/sister in SL. I'm not going to tell you guys and girls cannot be friends. I think that is a bunch of BS. But such closeness can lead to more too easily for many to handle.

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On 9/8/2019 at 10:17 AM, MomoKaeledyr said:

Not sure if this is the right place or not.

Anyway, my question is... what are peoples opinions on platonic cuddling with friends (same gender or not) when you're in a relationship?

For me, I personally don't care. It's just a form of affection, and realistically, it's just pixels.

However, I've found that a lot of people on here really don't like it if their partner cuddles (especially with the gender they're attracted to, even if they're not attracted to the person they're cuddling)

I'm someone that can't handle much physical contact in my real life due to various reasons, so I love to cuddle in SL.

I was just wondering if anyone could give me any insight into this?


Thank you!

It’s kinda like the issues people have with Polyamoury; if you’re into it - no problem.

I think the whole cuddle thing is a great idea, but I am also poly-friendly.

People whose values include strict monogamy might feel otherwise.

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