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1)behind young girl avatar can be 50 years old dude(sometimes you can see it even by hia style of talk).

2) very positive person in sl cam be extremekyt depressive on rl

3)If friend starts to say what I should wear or how should talk-mute and forget.

All that just by my own experience

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Never fall in love in a virtual world (fingers crossed, I still haven't)

Be nice - it (mostly) pays off and costs nothing.

Always remember it's a VR, not RL; learn to separate the two and don't make RL demands of VR people.

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Without body language cues, it is very easy to mis-read what another person in SL says, even in voice.  That's doubly true if you don't both use the same mother language in RL or share a common culture.  Even within a culture, young and old, men and women do not understand language and issues the same way.  In SL, you can't tell for sure whether you are talking with someone with the same age and gender as you.  Here's what works for me, YMMV:

Rule #1: Don't necessarily assume that someone is deliberately saying hurtful things.  It's more likely miscommunication (and it could be that YOU are misunderstanding).

Rule #2:  Avoid escalating a misunderstanding by overreacting.

     Corollary:  Always leave the other person an opportunity to save face.

     Restatement:  A cornered rat is twice as nasty as one that can slink away.

Rule #3 (Miyagi's Rule):  "The best defense -- not be there."  Life is too short to waste time in conversations that annoy you or make you feel uncomfortable.  Just walk away.  

 

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3 hours ago, Windywinters said:

1)behind young girl avatar can be 50 years old dude(sometimes you can see it even by hia style of talk).

You didn't know? There Are No Girls on the Internet! 🤣 I was told that by my brother when I got into the internet thing.

Anyway one thing is try not to take things seriously and have fun in world.

Also if you're in a bad state of mind --- best to check it at the login or best go relax and log in another day.

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Maybe  there are no "girls" on the internet, but there are women. its not all guys out there and inworld.. I know  I'm not a guy.. I have learned that even ifbyou favorite/bookmark a place in SL, it may not be there in a few months down the road. but its great when they *are* still there several months later.

 

Edited by SierraStyles
Add aditional material.
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There are a lot of 'unspoken rules' we learn along the way... here are a few from me.

Move your avatar away from the landing point asap. (Some sims do this automatically now).

Respect other Avatars, nobody likes to be pushed or walked over (literally).

Pick up your empty boxes before you leave.

Dont enter peoples homes uninvited even if they have no security orb and especially dont use their pose balls and then refuse to leave when the 'owner' arrives!

 

 

 

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I've learned a few skills; how to build in prims, how to mesh prim builds, how to write basic scripts (or better, how to edit more complex ones to adapt to my needs rather than rely on pre-bought all the time, or more frequently how to break them), how to make tattoos for SL avatars, how to build "worlds" or environments, how to use GIMP and now learning Blender (and signed on to learn Python next) and all of that as a direct result of SL. So it's been a great creative and learning outlet for me so far.

I've also learned things I wish I hadn't; how nasty certain circles can be (especially the RP circuit), how possessive people can be (over avatars), how sex is easy to come by even if you don't want it, how it's easy to meet but harder to actually connect with others, and just how quickly some are to lash out over something as simple as a joke taken the wrong way or miscommunication. I've also learned the lengths some will go to in order to harass and bully others online in the form of virtual stalking having seen two close friends go through it and impact on their real lives in ways I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Perhaps none of this is exactly SL-centric but I've certainly learned those things while here.

I've learned how quickly and easily virtual goods (or the endless pursuit of them that I never understood before) can burn a hole in my pocket if I'm not careful. I've learned to appreciate the value of words more than I did on other platforms and how a kind virtual gesture can make my (or someone's) real life day brighter. I've learned the value of "paying it forward" in helping where I can in the forums or groups in-world and seeing others find their voice and do the same; something I've never really experienced to this degree outside of SL either. I've learned patience (which is ironic considering in real life I'm actually a bit of a hot head, not that you'd know it), and I've learned how fun it is to essentially play dress ups with a virtual doll as an adult and visit and build and do things I generally don't or will never get to experience. To that end I've also learned how to lose hours or weekends (or years!) staring at a computer screen caught up in this fantasy of an online existence.

I've learned a lot more than I expected I would and probably have more life lessons to come. The other answers before mine were more guides or advice so not sure if I answered the question correctly but it's an answer all the same. :) 

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3 hours ago, CheriColette said:

There are a lot of 'unspoken rules' we learn along the way... here are a few from me.

Move your avatar away from the landing point asap. (Some sims do this automatically now).

Respect other Avatars, nobody likes to be pushed or walked over (literally).

Pick up your empty boxes before you leave.

Dont enter peoples homes uninvited even if they have no security orb and especially dont use their pose balls or X rated furniture and then refuse to leave when the 'owner' arrives!

 

 

 

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2 hours ago, RaeLeeH said:

I've learned a few skills; how to build in prims, how to mesh prim builds, how to write basic scripts (or better, how to edit more complex ones to adapt to my needs rather than rely on pre-bought all the time, or more frequently how to break them), how to make tattoos for SL avatars, how to build "worlds" or environments, how to use GIMP and now learning Blender (and signed on to learn Python next) and all of that as a direct result of SL. So it's been a great creative and learning outlet for me so far.

I've also learned things I wish I hadn't; how nasty certain circles can be (especially the RP circuit), how possessive people can be (over avatars), how sex is easy to come by even if you don't want it, how it's easy to meet but harder to actually connect with others, and just how quickly some are to lash out over something as simple as a joke taken the wrong way or miscommunication. I've also learned the lengths some will go to in order to harass and bully others online in the form of virtual stalking having seen two close friends go through it and impact on their real lives in ways I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Perhaps none of this is exactly SL-centric but I've certainly learned those things while here.

I've learned how quickly and easily virtual goods (or the endless pursuit of them that I never understood before) can burn a hole in my pocket if I'm not careful. I've learned to appreciate the value of words more than I did on other platforms and how a kind virtual gesture can make my (or someone's) real life day brighter. I've learned the value of "paying it forward" in helping where I can in the forums or groups in-world and seeing others find their voice and do the same; something I've never really experienced to this degree outside of SL either. I've learned patience (which is ironic considering in real life I'm actually a bit of a hot head, not that you'd know it), and I've learned how fun it is to essentially play dress ups with a virtual doll as an adult and visit and build and do things I generally don't or will never get to experience. To that end I've also learned how to lose hours or weekends (or years!) staring at a computer screen caught up in this fantasy of an online existence.

I've learned a lot more than I expected I would and probably have more life lessons to come. The other answers before mine were more guides or advice so not sure if I answered the question correctly but it's an answer all the same. :) 

That pretty much covers the past 15 year of my SL. 

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5 hours ago, CheriColette said:

There are a lot of 'unspoken rules' we learn along the way... here are a few from me.

Move your avatar away from the landing point asap. (Some sims do this automatically now).

Respect other Avatars, nobody likes to be pushed or walked over (literally).

Pick up your empty boxes before you leave.

Dont enter peoples homes uninvited even if they have no security orb and especially dont use their pose balls and then refuse to leave when the 'owner' arrives!

 

 

 

Moving away from a landing point sometimes results in pushing or walking over someone!

If a house is open to walk round, I have no problem with going in and taking a look.  

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On 8/13/2019 at 3:52 AM, CheriColette said:

Dont enter peoples homes uninvited even if they have no security orb and especially dont use their pose balls and then refuse to leave when the 'owner' arrives!

Yeah, sorry about that. 

Days after joining SL, I learned about 'hard vore'. Amazed I didn't delete my account there and then. 

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On 8/13/2019 at 8:00 PM, AmandaKeen said:

(1) Many people come to a wide-open virtual world holding tightly to the prejudices of RL

(2) Learn to ignore #1 and have fun anyway 🙂

Wow, that pretty much sums up the fourteen paragraphs I was about to write.

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^^^^This is a big part of it for me. Learning more about the RL me.

I was scared of everything at the beginning, and easily spooked. I was certainly taken advantage of at times, but every strange encounter made me stronger.

I found special people in SL who are benevolent, generous and fun, even when sometimes their RL was bad. I found mentors and confidantes, and my strength and confidence here has grown beyond anything I could have imagined.

Its a self indulgent world here and all the better for it! I can dress up, hang out in clubs and on beaches and have way more fun tham is possible to safely do in RL.

Shopping trapped me here, as I've said before. It was that more than anything which pulled me in, and when I discovered in world shopping that was it. I could spend all my in world time in store, and I resist that to keep some sort of budget.

And of course the Forums. Where would I be without my daily phone fix, wherever I am. Like now in the supermarket car park.

Finally here comes the sweeping generalisation.

Girls spend loads of money on mesh bodies and looking good.

Guys spend as little as possible on a system avi and chase sex. (Obviously not Orwar, Skell, and the guys who post on the forum). ;)

 

 

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When I came to SL I was a complete wild child.  After all this time -- over 13 years! -- I realized that I changed more in world than out, and even though I can do way more in SL than RL am the same person in and out world.  So as crazy as SL can be, I am who I am.

Also, I have to agree with @BelindaN  Girls spend more on looking good and guys spend as little as they can to get more sex.

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I am a creative in both RL and SL. So no, you wont catch me spending lindens on a mesh body/head/hands/feet, etc. I did buy a fairly nice classic/system body a while ago, reasonably priced, too. And even if I was rich, I'd spend lindens on a house and land.  May be odd, but that's just me. And that brings out my other peeve. Sims that require you to have a mesh body.. Too bad they don't know what they are missing..like our lindens and whatever they charge for membership fees. My beer (read wine or tea) is safe, no tears there.

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On 8/15/2019 at 2:05 PM, Donna Underall said:

Also, I have to agree with @BelindaN  Girls spend more on looking good and guys spend as little as they can to get more sex.

 

You'd think the two aren't mutually exclusive, right?! :) In fact, 'spend as little as they can to get more sex' sounds really bizarre, if you think about it, as obviously, in order to get sex the most, one would think at least looking good themselves should help. 

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On 8/15/2019 at 3:53 AM, Lyssa Greymoon said:

No one reads profiles, and no one appreciates your black as midnight humor.

   I read profiles. Tick tock!

   But yeah, people generally tend to get upset by my humor.

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