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Lyn Waffle

Making Meaningful Friendships

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It seems I am having a hard time making meaningful romantic relationships and friendships now then I did in 2008. A few reasons I think are:

1. There were more people my age I could relate to. Due to schools high schools and colleges being in SL at the time. It use to be smooth sailing, now it seems I have to try extra hard.

2. Population decreased a lot since then.

3. I am an introvert. I usually wait until people message me. I am doing my best change that though. 

4. SL seems more strict now than it was back then.

5. The clubs and LM's I use to frequent don't exist anymore with people of the same culture as me. I have yet to find some favorite places.

6. Most of the guys that are left over just come off as gross (I know not all in sl are like that obviously). There were always perverts in sl but now it seems worse. My block list is long due to trash and sexual harassers IMing me. I use to be able to hangout with men that were fun, made great conversation, were actually funny, helpful ect. Now not so much...

I explore and go to various places, which are mostly empty. I eventually get bored and log out.

Many of my old friends don't log on anymore. Even though I don't log in as much as I use to, when i do log in its lonely. It just doesn't feel the same. Even though I only been active for 3 of the 10 years my avi as existed, it's been a disappointment coming back to something that I thought would be a more advanced SL (Mesh is great and all but I was expecting more). I came back in 2016 after a 7+ year break, then been on and off since then. 

Hope I made sense...

Any advice will be great, Thank You

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i think it depends on what type of people you are meeting  maybe you need to change where you go, what you do. 

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1 hour ago, ballparkdogg said:

i think it depends on what type of people you are meeting  maybe you need to change where you go, what you do. 

I do, I went to a grand opening 2 days ago and made friends with owner and his partner. They were really sweet. 

I travel to various places around the grid and still dont make outgoing friends as fast as i did way back when. Im not giving up though.

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Posted (edited)

I know things changed from when I started and many friends aren’t here anymore.   I do things differently from when I first started and it works but finding someone romantic is hard so i get what ur saying

Edited by ballparkdogg
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In a way I feel somewhat the same (though I've technically only been in SL since 2011). Over the years I've taken breaks too. Things change (like mesh, and Bento) and some things stay for the most part the same. I joined SL originally to role play, but over the years and after creating various regions or helping to manage and dealing with the ugly underbelly of that world I had lost the spark. To me the standard I craved and had enjoyed had died. I've spent the last 2 years wandering around lost and bored and lonely. That's why I took up new skills and started to build and script, and now at present am learning Blender. That in itself doesn't keep the loneliness at bay (especially the latter since it's an external program) but it gives me something constructive to do. Too often I've lost hours or entire weekends glued to the keyboard waiting for something exciting to happen, or for something to capture my attention and make me feel as entertained and that same sense of wonder that I felt back in the old days. I haven't felt that way for a very, very long time. That could be our combined problem.

Nostalgia has its moments but I'm reminded of that saying 'Don't look back, you're not headed that way.' As much as I dearly miss what I had and the general atmosphere of years ago, that was then and this is now, and no amount of wishing is going to rewind the clock. Yes things are more strict (or feel that way), people seem to talk in local chat less and prefer IMs or group, and in general appear more sensitive and much quicker to report or AR than they used to. And there's been a shift away from anonymity towards RL especially with Skype and Discord that seems far more invasive than it ever used to be. But just as times change and tastes change, people of course change too. I dare say you're not the same person you were back then as you are now either. So even if you woke up to find SL as it used to be you would be seeing it perhaps a little differently than you did. Experience is a double-edged sword like that.

I don't think you need advice as you seem to have a good grasp on reality. It might be depressing but it's factual at least in terms of your perception of it. If I were to suggest anything, and this is a bitter pill I've been trying to force myself to swallow for quite some time now too, is that in order to move forward you need to let go of the past. Judging SL of how it was when you were last in-world (especially if the past was a personal highlight) is always going to come up short and leave you wanting. That's not leaving much room to embrace what is, whether it's something you actually want or not.

Over the years I thought to recapture my "noob experience" insofar as being wowed again as I was back then by creating an alt account. Naturally that didn't work, but if you think there's a lot of baggage surrounding your main then that's a route to take. In essence pick up and start again with a clean slate where no one knows you (unless you want them to) and where you're free to do what you perhaps feel you couldn't or didn't want to try before. Maybe something that simple may help if you need to break free from your "rut". Going to places is always a hit-and-miss affair and heavily dependent on your time zone too. Try something more conscious; make the effort to visit as many galleries or exhibitions as you can one week, and visit RP regions the next. Do something that's outside your usual script and your usual habit. If you absolutely love going to clubs search in groups or places to see which has the most traffic and work your way through the list accordingly. I know it's all simple and stupid to some degree, but the options are wait and see what comes along or get proactive and take control. Step as far out of your comfort zone as you'll allow yourself to go. If nothing else you'll cross paths with more people than you usually would and have the potential and make new friends. However lasting and meaningful they are depends on you. If you believe the old adage of like-attracts-like then you're more likely to make friends that are worth keeping when they feel connected to you. That comes from finding your spark again, something that makes you want to stay in SL a while and not keep drifting in and out, and that won't happen if you're looking back.

Sorry for coming across like an old mother hen, it's what I do. No offence or insult intended. I sincerely, really do hope you find what it is you seek. Just take each day as it comes and you will. We both will. I refuse to accept the alternative. :) 

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social attitudes to online friending have changed

back in the days of MySpace and Bebo friending random people was normal accepted online social behaviour. The early years of SL reflected this as well. We would get any number of random Add friend requests from people, particularly from new people. Everybody was a nick in those days

then with the advent of Facebook random online friending became not a thing, and this spread into SL also. Is pretty rare now in SL to get a random Add friend request even from new people, when we used to get heaps

it was from those random Add friend requests that a series of conversations over more than one session could start. And depending on how it went then friendships formed

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Posted (edited)
On 8/6/2019 at 1:48 PM, Lyn Waffle said:

It seems I am having a hard time making meaningful romantic relationships and friendships now then I did in 2008. A few reasons I think are:

1. There were more people my age I could relate to. Due to schools high schools and colleges being in SL at the time. It use to be smooth sailing, now it seems I have to try extra hard.

2. Population decreased a lot since then.

3. I am an introvert. I usually wait until people message me. I am doing my best change that though. 

4. SL seems more strict now than it was back then.

5. The clubs and LM's I use to frequent don't exist anymore with people of the same culture as me. I have yet to find some favorite places.

6. Most of the guys that are left over just come off as gross (I know not all in sl are like that obviously). There were always perverts in sl but now it seems worse. My block list is long due to trash and sexual harassers IMing me. I use to be able to hangout with men that were fun, made great conversation, were actually funny, helpful ect. Now not so much...

I explore and go to various places, which are mostly empty. I eventually get bored and log out.

Many of my old friends don't log on anymore. Even though I don't log in as much as I use to, when i do log in its lonely. It just doesn't feel the same. Even though I only been active for 3 of the 10 years my avi as existed, it's been a disappointment coming back to something that I thought would be a more advanced SL (Mesh is great and all but I was expecting more). I came back in 2016 after a 7+ year break, then been on and off since then. 

Hope I made sense...

Any advice will be great, Thank You

Lyn, I think the rise in SL’s rep as Sex Life probably drew in more sex tourists than you were used to before; coupled with a decline in “Sex Tourist Destinations” which leaves those folks wandering aimlessly in search of sexxorz.

The traditional Club Scene in SL is really not good for meeting people if you want to find a serious relationship. Clubs are largely full of people playing the role (as they perceive it via popular media) of “young people in a club” and that does not usually include much emotional context :)

I have met more interesting people through groups that were not “club” or ‘party” oriented. I like geeky people who have something to talk about; so I have found fun folks everywhere from writer’s groups to a pawky one devoted to the “worship” of that Internet Legend; the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

I know another friend who had success by placing a line in their profile stating; “I’m an introvert, TALK TO ME - I need someone to conspire with”

giphy.gif?cid=8fc3c8979e55abdead1665ebed

Edited by AmandaKeen
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Posted (edited)
On 8/10/2019 at 5:27 PM, RaeLeeH said:

In a way I feel somewhat the same (though I've technically only been in SL since 2011). Over the years I've taken breaks too. Things change (like mesh, and Bento) and some things stay for the most part the same. I joined SL originally to role play, but over the years and after creating various regions or helping to manage and dealing with the ugly underbelly of that world I had lost the spark. To me the standard I craved and had enjoyed had died. I've spent the last 2 years wandering around lost and bored and lonely. That's why I took up new skills and started to build and script, and now at present am learning Blender. That in itself doesn't keep the loneliness at bay (especially the latter since it's an external program) but it gives me something constructive to do. Too often I've lost hours or entire weekends glued to the keyboard waiting for something exciting to happen, or for something to capture my attention and make me feel as entertained and that same sense of wonder that I felt back in the old days. I haven't felt that way for a very, very long time. That could be our combined problem.

Nostalgia has its moments but I'm reminded of that saying 'Don't look back, you're not headed that way.' As much as I dearly miss what I had and the general atmosphere of years ago, that was then and this is now, and no amount of wishing is going to rewind the clock. Yes things are more strict (or feel that way), people seem to talk in local chat less and prefer IMs or group, and in general appear more sensitive and much quicker to report or AR than they used to. And there's been a shift away from anonymity towards RL especially with Skype and Discord that seems far more invasive than it ever used to be. But just as times change and tastes change, people of course change too. I dare say you're not the same person you were back then as you are now either. So even if you woke up to find SL as it used to be you would be seeing it perhaps a little differently than you did. Experience is a double-edged sword like that.

I don't think you need advice as you seem to have a good grasp on reality. It might be depressing but it's factual at least in terms of your perception of it. If I were to suggest anything, and this is a bitter pill I've been trying to force myself to swallow for quite some time now too, is that in order to move forward you need to let go of the past. Judging SL of how it was when you were last in-world (especially if the past was a personal highlight) is always going to come up short and leave you wanting. That's not leaving much room to embrace what is, whether it's something you actually want or not.

Over the years I thought to recapture my "noob experience" insofar as being wowed again as I was back then by creating an alt account. Naturally that didn't work, but if you think there's a lot of baggage surrounding your main then that's a route to take. In essence pick up and start again with a clean slate where no one knows you (unless you want them to) and where you're free to do what you perhaps feel you couldn't or didn't want to try before. Maybe something that simple may help if you need to break free from your "rut". Going to places is always a hit-and-miss affair and heavily dependent on your time zone too. Try something more conscious; make the effort to visit as many galleries or exhibitions as you can one week, and visit RP regions the next. Do something that's outside your usual script and your usual habit. If you absolutely love going to clubs search in groups or places to see which has the most traffic and work your way through the list accordingly. I know it's all simple and stupid to some degree, but the options are wait and see what comes along or get proactive and take control. Step as far out of your comfort zone as you'll allow yourself to go. If nothing else you'll cross paths with more people than you usually would and have the potential and make new friends. However lasting and meaningful they are depends on you. If you believe the old adage of like-attracts-like then you're more likely to make friends that are worth keeping when they feel connected to you. That comes from finding your spark again, something that makes you want to stay in SL a while and not keep drifting in and out, and that won't happen if you're looking back.

Sorry for coming across like an old mother hen, it's what I do. No offence or insult intended. I sincerely, really do hope you find what it is you seek. Just take each day as it comes and you will. We both will. I refuse to accept the alternative. :) 

Just wow. Damn, im IMing you as soon as i got online! 

Nope, IMing most from this thread, cause its very relatable.

Edited by SusanPoora
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I met girl in SL from this forum and seems to be working.   A number of my relationships were from girls i met from sex rp and to be honest just tired of that.  Cleaned up my profile and tried doing things differently

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Posted (edited)

Getting into the creating side of SL and having my own shop have proven to be the best things I've done to find meaningful friendships here.

It's a shared interest, hobbyist creators and dabblers seem to be more likely to stick around long term as there aren't many competing alternatives elsewhere, helping each other with problems creates/strengthens bonds, we give each other stuff we've made which also strengthens bonds (it's not just a gift, it's giving a part of yourself too), and my shop is always there as a representation of my interests. It's led to many conversations and several friendships.

One of my closest friendships started when I was helping her lock an MM board for an animation she especially wanted. It took a few days so we added as "friends" to make some part of that easier, then got to talking about what we made, which led to discovering shared interests and senses of humour, which led to a very solid and genuine friendship.

Another very dear friend is my best customer. After far too long I finally got up the courage to say hello to him while he was in my shop and we've been friends ever since.

And from that comes my suggestion for an often overlooked source of friendships - the people who make and assemble the things and places we enjoy in SL. If you especially enjoy or admire something, drop the person who put it together a note or IM. You know you have something in common and even if it doesn't lead to a friendship, an unexpected compliment can make someone's day :)

It's also a way of broadening the possibilities beyond who's inworld at the same location you are and at the same time. Shops run themselves so the owners can be anywhere....

(P.S. This is about finding friendships more than romantic relationships. I am not one to give advice on the latter 9_9)

Edited by Bitsy Buccaneer
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On 8/6/2019 at 8:48 PM, Lyn Waffle said:

3. I am an introvert. I usually wait until people message me.

   A lot of people say that they're introverts in SL. I think that the term has been tainted by the ignorance of the mob; introvert and shy are very different things. An introvert person often feel physically and mentally drained after exposure to socialising (my therapy group used the term 'socially hungover'). I'm an introvert person, I get psychic blocks that hinders me from responding to someone if I need space and feel a high level of anxiety if I force myself through it - but I'm not a shy person, I have no issues starting conversations with strangers.

   I do always look at people's profiles before I contact them though. It saves me an immense amount of time and effort by filtering out those who appear uninteresting or stupid before having to actually talk to them. Your profile is... Pretty plain, in my opinion; it has the usual Tinder-pop interests listed - parties, hanging out, dressing up, and shopping, really? I don't know if that'll even catch the interest of other shopaholics, but from the perspective of a 'guy', you've managed to camouflage yourself into the faceless mass of dime-a-dozen, average SL'er. "looking to build meaningful relationships and kill my boredom" - what is a 'meaning relationship' to you? How do you define boredom, and how do you seek to kill it?

   If you want to wait for people to message you based on that, with anything but shallow or lewd suggestions, you may have to wait a while.

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8 hours ago, Orwar said:

   A lot of people say that they're introverts in SL. I think that the term has been tainted by the ignorance of the mob; introvert and shy are very different things. An introvert person often feel physically and mentally drained after exposure to socialising (my therapy group used the term 'socially hungover').

I'm an extrovert; social events energise and uplift me, and I find isolation to be more draining.

But I am still pretty "shy" when it comes to initiating contact with new people. More so in SL than in RL; in RL I can see if they are busy doing something else but in SL there are no such cues; I can't tell if someone is busy in IMs or browsing the internet and whether or not they prefer not to be disturbed. With the "pre-programmed" AOs we have in SL, there are no cues from body language that we get in RL.

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Posted (edited)
12 hours ago, Orwar said:

   A lot of people say that they're introverts in SL. I think that the term has been tainted by the ignorance of the mob; introvert and shy are very different things. An introvert person often feel physically and mentally drained after exposure to socialising (my therapy group used the term 'socially hungover'). I'm an introvert person, I get psychic blocks that hinders me from responding to someone if I need space and feel a high level of anxiety if I force myself through it - but I'm not a shy person, I have no issues starting conversations with strangers.

   I do always look at people's profiles before I contact them though. It saves me an immense amount of time and effort by filtering out those who appear uninteresting or stupid before having to actually talk to them. Your profile is... Pretty plain, in my opinion; it has the usual Tinder-pop interests listed - parties, hanging out, dressing up, and shopping, really? I don't know if that'll even catch the interest of other shopaholics, but from the perspective of a 'guy', you've managed to camouflage yourself into the faceless mass of dime-a-dozen, average SL'er. "looking to build meaningful relationships and kill my boredom" - what is a 'meaning relationship' to you? How do you define boredom, and how do you seek to kill it?

   If you want to wait for people to message you based on that, with anything but shallow or lewd suggestions, you may have to wait a while.

I feel personally attacked by you. Maybe its the way you wrote the message. I am an introvert in rl. sl help me to socialize a bit better, since its easier to chat behind a computer. Not too much though, as it is exhausting and i get annoyed. 

I changed my profile a like a week ago because it was not inviting enough. Now you are telling me its not interesting enough. If you don't have any advice, you should have never commented. I really don't need your negativity. You don't know me, so don't act like you have an idea based off of one post and reading my profile.

If someone reads my profile in-world and wants to know the answers to those questions, that is what IM's are for.

Edited by Lyn Waffle

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Lyn Waffle..  remember opinions are like a-holes everybody has one.   Your profile pic is smoking and your profile has information that someone could IM you and start up a conversation

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Truth to told, I am an introvert, most of the time I sit on my own sim, which has a nightclub on it btw, away from the crowds. However, there are times where I am social, and have conversations that could probably last for days. The old dogs that generally have meaningful conversation, rather then perverted ones are a dying breed, esp. in online settings, not just here on SecondLife, there are places that are worse. We all have aspects of being a pervert though, just depends on the situation, who we're talking to, and if we find them that attractive. However, finding friends has always been a hard commodity to say the least, at least ones that truly live up to the word, rather then a fair-weathered one. It's almost like flipping a coin and hoping for the best.

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10 hours ago, Lyn Waffle said:

I feel personally attacked by you.

   I'm uncertain of what you want me to do with this information. Apologise for you not understanding or appreciating my point of view, and failing to detect the constructive hints therein? As you said, I don't know you - so how could I possibly tell you what you should put in your profile? All I said was, what you have in there now is the same as most people; there's nothing that sticks out and nothing that's specific enough to use as a conversation starter - and that statement was the hint. I also tried to suggest that you look at your profile from the perspective of someone not knowing you, what kind of information do you think make a profile interesting?

   How about:

   - "I'm interested in botany."
   - "Hey, I read your profile and it says you're interested in botany. I've wanted to grow a herbal garden on my patio but I don't know much about it, maybe you have some ideas or tips?"

   - "I'm a huge fan of Stephen King."
   - "Hey, have you read this book? I loved it, but I couldn't sleep for three days!"

11 hours ago, Lyn Waffle said:

If someone reads my profile in-world and wants to know the answers to those questions, that is what IM's are for.

   If you go to just about any club and start reading through people's profiles, and 12/17 people mention 'I like shopping, exploring, dancing and/or music', do you think people will be up for asking each of those people for specifics about their mentioned likes, or will they try to initiate conversation with the person who's passionate about costume dramas, or the one who can't seem to get enough of World War One stories?

   Getting all defensive because someone doesn't agree with you, pulling the victim card and lashing out like a hysterical person, at least doesn't do it for me. Happy hunting.

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10 hours ago, Orwar said:

   I'm uncertain of what you want me to do with this information. Apologise for you not understanding or appreciating my point of view, and failing to detect the constructive hints therein? As you said, I don't know you - so how could I possibly tell you what you should put in your profile? All I said was, what you have in there now is the same as most people; there's nothing that sticks out and nothing that's specific enough to use as a conversation starter - and that statement was the hint. I also tried to suggest that you look at your profile from the perspective of someone not knowing you, what kind of information do you think make a profile interesting?

   How about:

   - "I'm interested in botany."
   - "Hey, I read your profile and it says you're interested in botany. I've wanted to grow a herbal garden on my patio but I don't know much about it, maybe you have some ideas or tips?"

   - "I'm a huge fan of Stephen King."
   - "Hey, have you read this book? I loved it, but I couldn't sleep for three days!"

   If you go to just about any club and start reading through people's profiles, and 12/17 people mention 'I like shopping, exploring, dancing and/or music', do you think people will be up for asking each of those people for specifics about their mentioned likes, or will they try to initiate conversation with the person who's passionate about costume dramas, or the one who can't seem to get enough of World War One stories?

   Getting all defensive because someone doesn't agree with you, pulling the victim card and lashing out like a hysterical person, at least doesn't do it for me. Happy hunting.

leave me alone

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17 hours ago, ballparkdogg said:

Lyn Waffle..  remember opinions are like a-holes everybody has one.   Your profile pic is smoking and your profile has information that someone could IM you and start up a conversation

thank you ^_^ I made more friends since changing my profile. It works! 

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On 8/10/2019 at 6:17 AM, Mollymews said:

social attitudes to online friending have changed

back in the days of MySpace and Bebo friending random people was normal accepted online social behaviour. The early years of SL reflected this as well. We would get any number of random Add friend requests from people, particularly from new people. Everybody was a nick in those days

then with the advent of Facebook random online friending became not a thing, and this spread into SL also. Is pretty rare now in SL to get a random Add friend request even from new people, when we used to get heaps

it was from those random Add friend requests that a series of conversations over more than one session could start. And depending on how it went then friendships formed

Yes, this is what happened. The random frineding is "not allowed" now it seems but with those random friends I always had someone to hangout with and it was fun. I miss it! ^_^

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On 8/10/2019 at 5:27 AM, RaeLeeH said:

In a way I feel somewhat the same (though I've technically only been in SL since 2011). Over the years I've taken breaks too. Things change (like mesh, and Bento) and some things stay for the most part the same. I joined SL originally to role play, but over the years and after creating various regions or helping to manage and dealing with the ugly underbelly of that world I had lost the spark. To me the standard I craved and had enjoyed had died. I've spent the last 2 years wandering around lost and bored and lonely. That's why I took up new skills and started to build and script, and now at present am learning Blender. That in itself doesn't keep the loneliness at bay (especially the latter since it's an external program) but it gives me something constructive to do. Too often I've lost hours or entire weekends glued to the keyboard waiting for something exciting to happen, or for something to capture my attention and make me feel as entertained and that same sense of wonder that I felt back in the old days. I haven't felt that way for a very, very long time. That could be our combined problem.

Nostalgia has its moments but I'm reminded of that saying 'Don't look back, you're not headed that way.' As much as I dearly miss what I had and the general atmosphere of years ago, that was then and this is now, and no amount of wishing is going to rewind the clock. Yes things are more strict (or feel that way), people seem to talk in local chat less and prefer IMs or group, and in general appear more sensitive and much quicker to report or AR than they used to. And there's been a shift away from anonymity towards RL especially with Skype and Discord that seems far more invasive than it ever used to be. But just as times change and tastes change, people of course change too. I dare say you're not the same person you were back then as you are now either. So even if you woke up to find SL as it used to be you would be seeing it perhaps a little differently than you did. Experience is a double-edged sword like that.

I don't think you need advice as you seem to have a good grasp on reality. It might be depressing but it's factual at least in terms of your perception of it. If I were to suggest anything, and this is a bitter pill I've been trying to force myself to swallow for quite some time now too, is that in order to move forward you need to let go of the past. Judging SL of how it was when you were last in-world (especially if the past was a personal highlight) is always going to come up short and leave you wanting. That's not leaving much room to embrace what is, whether it's something you actually want or not.

Over the years I thought to recapture my "noob experience" insofar as being wowed again as I was back then by creating an alt account. Naturally that didn't work, but if you think there's a lot of baggage surrounding your main then that's a route to take. In essence pick up and start again with a clean slate where no one knows you (unless you want them to) and where you're free to do what you perhaps feel you couldn't or didn't want to try before. Maybe something that simple may help if you need to break free from your "rut". Going to places is always a hit-and-miss affair and heavily dependent on your time zone too. Try something more conscious; make the effort to visit as many galleries or exhibitions as you can one week, and visit RP regions the next. Do something that's outside your usual script and your usual habit. If you absolutely love going to clubs search in groups or places to see which has the most traffic and work your way through the list accordingly. I know it's all simple and stupid to some degree, but the options are wait and see what comes along or get proactive and take control. Step as far out of your comfort zone as you'll allow yourself to go. If nothing else you'll cross paths with more people than you usually would and have the potential and make new friends. However lasting and meaningful they are depends on you. If you believe the old adage of like-attracts-like then you're more likely to make friends that are worth keeping when they feel connected to you. That comes from finding your spark again, something that makes you want to stay in SL a while and not keep drifting in and out, and that won't happen if you're looking back.

Sorry for coming across like an old mother hen, it's what I do. No offence or insult intended. I sincerely, really do hope you find what it is you seek. Just take each day as it comes and you will. We both will. I refuse to accept the alternative. :) 

OMG, i can relate to the first paragraph. I am stuck in a loop. I do want to start making clothes. Too many types of clothing I can't find in SL. Too many clothing designs are the same. I have ideas in my head but don't know where to begin. 

I have alts but you are right, its not the same. Even welcome areas aren't as crowded as they were back then 😒

I literally go to random places. Nature sims, rp sims, i do go to exhibitions, various types of clubs (the rare ones that play world music and music of my culture i like best), church etc. 

Thank you, no need to apologize. all is good. I will find what i seek, I always do. its just a bit harder now since it seems most people on sl are old enough to be my parents and grandparents. I just wish i can find that 'go to' spot i can go and hang out with my own peers. 

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On 8/15/2019 at 5:20 AM, AmandaKeen said:

Lyn, I think the rise in SL’s rep as Sex Life probably drew in more sex tourists than you were used to before; coupled with a decline in “Sex Tourist Destinations” which leaves those folks wandering aimlessly in search of sexxorz.

The traditional Club Scene in SL is really not good for meeting people if you want to find a serious relationship. Clubs are largely full of people playing the role (as they perceive it via popular media) of “young people in a club” and that does not usually include much emotional context :)

I have met more interesting people through groups that were not “club” or ‘party” oriented. I like geeky people who have something to talk about; so I have found fun folks everywhere from writer’s groups to a pawky one devoted to the “worship” of that Internet Legend; the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

I know another friend who had success by placing a line in their profile stating; “I’m an introvert, TALK TO ME - I need someone to conspire with”

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thank, ill try to find more groups of people that have the same interests as me. Last time i looked in the group tab I had no luck. will try again

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I had the best luck looking into groups related to stuff I find humorous.....or age-specific groups where we all "got" each other's humor :)

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13 hours ago, AmandaKeen said:

I had the best luck looking into groups related to stuff I find humorous.....or age-specific groups where we all "got" each other's humor :)

I would have never thought of this. Great idea!

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Posted (edited)

Gentle reminder that by eliminating older people from your social circles could mean you are missing out on the one person who just might be the best life long friend you could wish for and/or the one friend you may need most in the future.

Edited by Selene Gregoire
because fingers like transposing letters
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9 hours ago, Selene Gregoire said:

Gentle reminder that by eliminating older people from your social circles could mean you are missing out on the one person who just might be the best life long friend you could wish for and/or the one friend you may need most in the future.

Actually, in my case I was meeting people in 80’s specific groups 🙂

I suffer from the suspicion that very few Gen-Z gravitate to SL and that the majority of “younger” avatars have typists who are a little further along in life (like me).

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