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Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, ballparkdogg said:

How important to you is the person you meet in SL be mesh??  could you date someone who isn’t mesh?!

I started dating my husband when he was still a classic and I mesh. I hired him to build me a cabin and conversation lead us in a whole other direction I did not expect. Needless to say it turned out he had mesh in his inventory but just didn’t know how to do it all.  I would have kept dating him regardless because just like in rl appearance is only a small part (of course one has to be visually attractive even a bit to ones eye) but our conversations and time spent together told me way more about the wonderful man he is, something I would have never found out if I worried about just the way he looks.

I’ve come to learn in SL that those who worry solely about mesh bodies are the ones who seem the loneliness. 

My advice is to have conversation with someone, anyone, and when you find out they could be your person or part of your slife in any way you can then help/talk them into becoming mesh  😂

Edited by Zennessa
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   A lot of people write that they 'expect' you to be mesh in their profiles. In my opinion it's not as important, and an entirely superficial requirement. On the one hand, this is SL, so you could argue that since you could achieve just about any ideal of bodytype, nothing stops you from making such requirements - on the other hand, I'm personally more concerned with having a partner with whom I can have enjoyable and meaningful conversations.

   It's just like in RL. You're allowed to say 'I will only date thin, attractive girls with big breasts', some people may think you're a shallow jerk for it, and you may have a harder time finding someone that lives up to your expectation. Ultimately it's an issue of personal opinion - you may have an easier time finding a partner in SL if you go mesh, but then does the partner want you for you, or do they just want a trophy to show off to others or a pretty-looking pixel sex toy?

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mesh or no mesh... it's all mesh even some think it isn't :)

i can't like a bad person in good mesh, but love a good person in no mesh.
Only thing what's on my "like" list is taken some work on the avatar, make it nice within the possibilities you have ánd want yourself.

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Everything is mesh in my eyes (because it is).

Sure, I like joking about pre-mesh avatars with my friends, but on a personal level I don't care what your avatar is made out of as long as it's interesting and not uninspired / poor quality. The best example is this one guy who would literally only use rectangular prims -- sometimes tapered but usually just different sizes -- to build really nice looking avatars. They were simple, but had a consistent style so you could tell it wasn't just being out of touch or incompetent.

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Not important to me at all.  I admire a well put together avatar regardless of whether it is mesh or not.  I prefer mesh for my own avatars now but for a long time that wasn't true.  I think it is petty and shallow to avoid interaction with people based on whether their avatar is mesh or not.

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Mostly I'm just grateful that my partner ditched the robot-avatar and looks human now :D

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The guy I am dating now does not have a mesh body/head; primarily because the skin he loves best is an older one with no appliers. 

I prefer mesh for myself but it doesn't bother me if others aren't. It's the personality and conversation that makes someone attractive to me. 

It does bother me a bit if an older avatar (been in SL for a few years) is still wearing skin and clothes that look like they came from Freebie Galaxy in 2008. Even if you have little or no money, there are still plenty of better free and low-cost options available nowadays, and an outdated freebie avatar makes me think they they don't care about their avatar much at all.

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12 hours ago, Matty Luminos said:

 

It does bother me a bit if an older avatar (been in SL for a few years) is still wearing skin and clothes that look like they came from Freebie Galaxy in 2008. Even if you have little or no money, there are still plenty of better free and low-cost options available nowadays, and an outdated freebie avatar makes me think they they don't care about their avatar much at all.

so true..

from my experience , the only ones who's not mesh yet are:

new players in sl

trolls

Alts- hidding the identity of the prime.

people who love the old avatar so much they don't want to change ( usually they have at least one of the free mesh avatars in inventory ; most of them have mesh bodies but keep the original head -or they have some nice custom made avatars  )

cheap/ lazy  people. If you are an old avatar, making money is not so hard.

i know someone will hate me for that, but having a nice avatar in sl is like using deodorant in RL.will you go in a rl date wearing your gramparents old smely clothes? if you don't invest in your look, how can i think you will invest in our relation ( and i a not talking about money )

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I like to be look pretty and be lovely. I like a man to be look ugly and be lovely.  I like his ugly next to my pretty and if we are both lovely then we can have lovely times.

I have never in all my SL time (3 months.. hehe) seen a mesh man who I think - wow! .. Never, not see one. They all look like poser, gay, cat walk model, under 30, "ooh look at me" type.

I like crusty men, mature men, men who do not love themselves in a bad way, men who try to look nice with what is available for them without spend big money. Not everybody has money in SL but the men avas that have money the money is better to be spend on me :D

Is not difficult to see where they try and effort is used in a ava. No effort = no effort with anything, so they are goodbye before the hello. Money spend is not same as handsome.

In my eyes SL is more how avas look compare to real life, but I am not after a husband in SL because is not a dating web site.

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For me personally, I feel like if you don't bother to invest in how you look then you won't bother in a relationship. I also feel like if you aren't really putting money in the game you have no ties to stick around and you can just vanish outta the blue. 

SOoo... yeah I would say mesh matters to me. It might sound shallow, but honestly 8 times outta 10 I will approach someone by how they look. If I really like their appearance I'll try my best to spark up a conversation and then well a relationship.

 

This usually only applies romantically, though, since I don't give a rat's behind what my friends look like. 

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Posted (edited)
59 minutes ago, ZoeChanning said:

They all look like poser, gay, cat walk model, under 30, "ooh look at me" type.

The quality "mature-look"  types are out there, though very far and few between. One of my oldest SL friends is still around and he does the look and does it really well (50-60-ish looking and looks "fit", not Schwarzenegger-ish.) Though I do agree with you that then "well-shaped" ones are the minority and the majority of those are too often ...  "eew, you need to man-up, dude!' LOL

Edited by Alyona Su

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12 minutes ago, OlliesOrbit said:

For me personally, I feel like if you don't bother to invest in how you look then you won't bother in a relationship. I also feel like if you aren't really putting money in the game you have no ties to stick around and you can just vanish outta the blue. 

SOoo... yeah I would say mesh matters to me. It might sound shallow, but honestly 8 times outta 10 I will approach someone by how they look. If I really like their appearance I'll try my best to spark up a conversation and then well a relationship.

This usually only applies romantically, though, since I don't give a rat's behind what my friends look like. 

I have to pretty much agree with this. I don't care how you choose to present yourself as it is your world and your imagination and you pay your premium membership (or pay whatever) to be in SL. That's your call to make. But appearance has always represented investment to me; especially if your account is several years old. If we're friends there's a good chance we're dragging each other around the grid half the time anyway visiting all the new sales and stores so at some point you'll likely upgrade due to saturation. If we're more than that then I want to enjoy what I see on the screen.

It's an unpopular opinion but I'll make it anyway: a lot of guys I know are attracted to the avatar that's clearly spent the most amount of money and time to look that way, but they won't make anywhere near the same investment themselves. They don't see the point. They're the equivalent of couch-potatoes looking for a super-model girlfriend and start screaming she's shallow when she turns him down. It's happened to me on many occasions and I make no excuses for it.

A mesh avatar (or at least the one that looks up-to-date and has been individually styled far beyond the generic shape and avatar we start with) is just a shell, and as the saying goes "You can't polish a turd" (though I'm sure for the sake of argument someone would try purely to say they could). So even if your avatar looks like a million Lindens, if you act like a turd you'll probably be treated like one. So looks aren't everything, no, but they are something. I'm sure the PC Police will preach otherwise. Everyone's entitled to their opinion, after all.

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This whole "wear mesh to prove your investment" thing really doesn't sit well with me. That I got distracted from finding suitable shoes again or got fed up with trying to make alpha cuts work and just went system actually means I prioritise my friends over fiddling with my avatar's appearance. My stamina and time inworld tends to be limited because of health problems - why waste any of it on superficial things? It's rather the opposite than the assumptions above. Other people's time will be limited in other ways too, if they choose to spend it on people rather than faffing around with mesh, so what? It just means they enjoy the interactions and not the clothing an av bit.

The same would go for a romantic partner. But if he or she makes up weird interpretations of my actions and is that heavily invested in appearance, are they really paying any attention to the person behind the system body? To be honest, that feels like more of a lack of "investment" to me.

As for longevity, it's 10 years here and I fully expect to be showing the nice young nurse in the care home around my shop some day. Goodness knows how complicated it will be to dress an avatar by then though. I still won't be fussed about shoes. :) Hopefully there will still be plenty of others following their own paths too.

So basically, if you want to prioritise appearances or be prejudiced against system bodies or people who do things differently, just own it.

 

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Posted (edited)

I've met some awesome looking avatars that were system. I've met some terribly put together mesh ones. Computers and WL settings also play a role in how we view ourselves vs how others view us.

I was out of SL for a few years as Mesh was hitting the grid. When I came back I had a lot to catch up on. I remember being hesitant to "upgrade". What if I picked the wrong body? What if I didn't like it? That was a lot of money to bet on a what if. So I had an extensive collection of demo bodies and demo clothing. Ended up, a wonderful friend surprised me on Christmas with a gift of a body, I just had to choose which one I wanted. My face took a lot longer. That was ME! I hated every head I demoed. It didn't look like me. Then Bento came out. You could tweak it more. I finally bought a head after another round of demoing bento heads. I have been 100% mesh for a while now, but I still remember how I felt when I returned and was bombarded with all the choices and changes. Thankfully, no one ever made me feel worthless because some part of me was still system. My friends let me make my own choices, even the one who gave me that gift. All they said was, "Merry Christmas! It's yours for when you're ready to use it." and that was the extent of the discussion.

In the past few months, I've met and even became friends with some older accounts that have recently returned. I've answered mesh questions for them, but other than that, I let them decide when, and if, they will change over to mesh. I'm not going to tell them we can't be friends if they don't buy a mesh body. Buying a mesh body is only the first purchase. Then it's a whole new wardrobe, skins, etc...

Edited by Zoya McDonnagh
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Funny thing. Was under the sea waiting for inv to load (as one does) minding my own business when ding

[2019/07/31 15:58]  *****.Resident: may be time to update? *giggles* ^..^

The nerve! So as youudo I pulled up the profile before bothering and behold : one of those AFK leeches. The very definition of a plastic Natasha.

So will stay being comfortable as I am, thanks.

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If my partner still looked like she did in 2010, I'd have no issue. I'm not with the pixels. I love the girl who uses them.

I have friends on the grid that long who's newbie look has almost become an endearing quality, and quite frankly a switch to mesh would almost look like an identity loss.

System avatars are functionally equal to mesh ones, so no. It does not matter to me.

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16 minutes ago, Adam Spark said:

If my partner still looked like she did in 2010, I'd have no issue. I'm not with the pixels. I love the girl who uses them.

I have friends on the grid that long who's newbie look has almost become an endearing quality, and quite frankly a switch to mesh would almost look like an identity loss.

System avatars are functionally equal to mesh ones, so no. It does not matter to me.

I have to agree with this. I am *still* seeing system avies that look amazing. There are even some where I can't tell on the outset whether they are wearing mesh or not (only an examination of the feet, for instance, shows it is a system shape). I do agree with the statements above where 'investing into your look..."  - BUT, that investment does not require mesh whatsoever. Anyone who puts in the effort and L$-investment can still look amazing without using any mesh at all on their shape, including head.

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On 7/31/2019 at 8:00 AM, ballparkdogg said:

How important to you is the person you meet in SL be mesh??

It isn't.

Quote

 could you date someone who isn’t mesh?!

If I did date, sure. Because I'm not dating the avatar, I'm dating the person behind the avatar.

Contrary to what some want to believe, not everyone is in SL to find a mate or have pixel sex just as not everyone in SL plays a role. Many of us are here to create and have someone to talk with once in a while that isn't the real life other half you talk with every day.

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1 hour ago, Adam Spark said:

a switch to mesh would almost look like an identity loss.

I'm glad you said this because the thoughts of how much humans depend on facial recognition keep running through my head while reading this thread. And it just baffles me that no one seems to be aware that facial recognition is important even with avatars in SL.

I may not remember your name but I will remember your face, even in SL. If you change your face in SL, name tag visible or not, and I don't recognize you? You'll probably realize it because of my reaction. Fight or flight.

 

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Pamela just stands around while I work. She doesn’t get to date. I might as well make her into a cube. 

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4 hours ago, Bitsy Buccaneer said:

This whole "wear mesh to prove your investment" thing really doesn't sit well with me.

For me, it's not necessarily mesh, it's any signs that a person has devoted time and effort into making their avatar personal, and not just a cookie-cutter off-the-freebie-shelf thing. It's not mesh that proves investment, it's imagination.

 

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48 minutes ago, Pamela Galli said:

Pamela just stands around while I work. She doesn’t get to date. I might as well make her into a cube. 

 

7 minutes ago, Selene Gregoire said:

Selene does the same damn thing. I fixed her little red wagon though. I made her into a tree.

https://marketplace.secondlife.com/p/Meshers-Tree-Av/2195648

I once spent several weeks as just a pair of boots.  The system av was alpha'd out otherwise.  The boot were fantastic to be fair and it gave me a 'kick' (haha) to see just these boots walking around on their own.

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