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SamanthaPrater

Hello; I would , like non judgemental friends.

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I've been hurt because people slandered my name on a drama website.. if you'd like to get to know who I am actually , please don't hesitate. I want people who are nice; and don't judge me based on false rumors. I've been in a group of bad people and I just want peace. <3.

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The best way to put drama behind you is to just leave in it in the past. If you are worried about it being drudged up by a future friend the address the issue only if they ask you about it. Other than that just move on and let bygones be bygones. I have no idea what kind of rumors you are referring to and I don't think most people care - most people on the internet have had some drama attached to their name; falsely or not. No biggie.

Having said all that, if you are okay with be friends with a relative newbie my IMs are always open for conversations. 

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Proper dinner-table etiquette is to remain silent and say nothing after a silent burp. By asking "excuse me" you simply call attention to your transgression. So, what Taeyeonblue says should certainly be the rule and not the exception.

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7 minutes ago, Alyona Su said:

Proper dinner-table etiquette is to remain silent and say nothing after a silent burp. By asking "excuse me" you simply call attention to your transgression. So, what Taeyeonblue says should certainly be the rule and not the exception.

In some countries, a burp or belch is considered a complement to the chef or host.

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58 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

In some countries, a burp or belch is considered a complement to the chef or host.

Yes, though I am in the Western hemisphere raised on far East culture - both of which apply. I have no plans to go to the Middle East any time soon. :P

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3 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

In some countries, a burp or belch is considered a complement to the chef or host.

I learned a long time ago to apologize for my ignorance when sitting down to dinner with natives in a foreign place, and ask them to share some of their eating traditions. Should I ever visit South Asia, I'll be prepared. My grandmother taught me how to swallow air so I can belch like... a South Asian?

 

Samantha, don't look back while moving forward, that's how you get into accidents. To set preconditions on future friendships is, in a way, prejudging.  It's also pointless, as the excluding condition you've identified (being judgmental) will not be identified by anyone having it.

Stop by a Sunday Breakfast or the Forum Cartel Hangout sometime. You'll meet a lot of nice people, or possibly (though rarely) me.

Good luck, have fun!

Hugs,
Maddy

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1 hour ago, Alyona Su said:

Proper dinner-table etiquette is to remain silent and say nothing after a silent burp.

   But if it's audible, according to my grandfather, one should immediately exclaim: "En vapör! Hovmästar'n, fort! Öppna fönstret!" ("An eruction! Headwaiter, quickly! Open the window!").

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1 hour ago, Orwar said:

   But if it's audible, according to my grandfather, one should immediately exclaim: "En vapör! Hovmästar'n, fort! Öppna fönstret!" ("An eruction! Headwaiter, quickly! Open the window!").

It's the silent ones that are deadly. >:)

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I am not judge mental, however there is an issue that makes people frustrated with me all the time. I friend someone, then they want to hang out a lot. I tend to be busy and not have time for that. They end up getting upset with me because I am not with them enough.

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If you want to come hangout with me OP you're more than welcome anytime, and anyone else for that matter. I have a bunch of properties on Mainland and I spend most of my time driving around on a scooter or sailing looking at weird places. I got a scooter I made I can give you if you wanna join me sometime. IM me in SL, I'm online quite a bit in the mornings and in the evenings SLT. 

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everybody is judgemental, no matter in what way..
have a look at most who claim to be that, they hate people who do judge... while they claim to be non judgemental they should accept the judgemental people without limits.....they don't , it's non exisitng.

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On 7/23/2019 at 7:40 PM, SamanthaPrater said:

I've been hurt because people slandered my name on a drama website.. if you'd like to get to know who I am actually , please don't hesitate. I want people who are nice; and don't judge me based on false rumors. I've been in a group of bad people and I just want peace. <3.

I'm with you on this... I'm not a stranger to drama and I don't think any of us are. Online especially there is too much room for miscommunication and hurt feelings. We seem to do it all the time without even meaning to. But like bullies on the school playground there are those that stir drama on purpose for reasons only they know.

My mother used to say "If they're picking on you, they're leaving some other poor *delete expletive* alone." I'm not sure what that was supposed to do for my self-esteem (except foster empathy to people I didn't know perhaps) but it didn't solve the issue. What it does reinforce perhaps is that bullying or drama is always there in some form or another, be that in real life or online, and has been since time immemorial. Unfortunately like @Alwin Alcott stated almost everyone judges even when they say they don't. It's the human condition. We ascribe labels to everything and everyone and judge accordingly. It doesn't make it right or wrong, that's just the way it is. The only thing that you can control is what you say and do. You can't control how others hear your words, how they interpret them (though you can certainly influence factors), what they think or say or do, or how they will react to them. Some things are just out of your control.

@taeyeonblue makes a good suggestion. While it's hard to let go of the frustration of having this drama continue to percolate around you (trust me, I know), the best thing you can do for yourself as much as you're able is to try and put it behind you. You can't control it. You can't compete. Responding to drama usually only incites more drama and escalates the situation. It gives the drama-mongers exactly what they want. The more you focus on it or let it consume you or control your decisions the more they take from you and the more they win. So let it go. Even bringing the subject up or addressing it with others will allow the wound to keep festering. I don't suggest you lie at all but don't be overly quick to bring it up, and if and when it does don't dwell. It's in the past. Leave it there and keep walking. And while I say this it's something I'm teaching myself too so it's a learning exercise.

One more thing that won't be a popular opinion but I'll share it anyway, is learn (if you can) not to wear your heart on your sleeve so openly. As the world moves progressively online cyber-bullying especially is going to increase. That means more drama or the potential for it when you log online. Meeting new people is great but try not to be too trusting. Don't get too attached (or at least not too quick), don't take everything you hear as gospel, and most importantly don't share more than you are comfortable in losing (whether that's time, effort, or emotions). There are some great people in the world, and some that are just out to cause problems. Safeguarding won't stop feeling hurt or betrayed completely, but it might perhaps just lessen the effect should something unforeseen happen again. And we never know what's around the corner.

Make new friends and reach out, absolutely, just be careful who you let in. Not everyone is out to be your friend. Not everyone wants to hurt you on purpose. Trust your instincts and the best of luck. And stay away from drama websites! :) 

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Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, RaeLeeH said:

There are some great people in the world, and some that are just out to cause problems.

... and you should not wait too long, if you identify someone as a potential troublemaker: Make a hard cut and move those people to your „blocked“ list. Life is too short to waste your time with false friends.  

Edited by VanillaLovelace
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On 7/24/2019 at 8:28 AM, Orwar said:

"En vapör! Hovmästar'n, fort! Öppna fönstret!" ("An eruction! Headwaiter, quickly! Open the window!").

I don't think I want to know what an eruction is.... :ph34r:

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15 hours ago, RaeLeeH said:

One more thing that won't be a popular opinion but I'll share it anyway, is learn (if you can) not to wear your heart on your sleeve so openly.

That particular piece of advice never works. I should know. I heard it enough from my mother as a child. Telling a sensitive person to stop wearing their feelings on their sleeves only makes the person (or child) being told resentful and in the long run could be far more damaging than allowing your emotions to show.

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19 hours ago, Alwin Alcott said:

everybody is judgemental, no matter in what way..
have a look at most who claim to be that, they hate people who do judge... while they claim to be non judgemental they should accept the judgemental people without limits.....they don't , it's non exisitng.

Alwin, the definition of "judgemental" I think we're using here is (from Google's dictionary):

"Having or displaying an excessively critical point of view."

Certainly (and thankfully!) we all exercise judgment. It's that "excessive" part that's troubling.

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9 minutes ago, Selene Gregoire said:

That particular piece of advice never works. I should know. I heard it enough from my mother as a child. Telling a sensitive person to stop wearing their feelings on their sleeves only makes the person (or child) being told resentful and in the long run could be far more damaging than allowing your emotions to show.

I guess it depends on the person too. Telling anyone anything won't necessarily make them do it, but enough hurts and betrayals just might, and not in the best way possible either. :( 

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2 hours ago, RaeLeeH said:

I guess it depends on the person too. Telling anyone anything won't necessarily make them do it, but enough hurts and betrayals just might, and not in the best way possible either. :( 

Ain't that the truth. On the bright side though...

1956495bad2e48ca5a4a0414d8b5e918.png

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On 8/14/2019 at 10:39 PM, Selene Gregoire said:

I don't think I want to know what an eruction is.... :ph34r:

Eructation is simply a fancier, and some might argue a more decorous, word for "belch." Honestly, I probably would've thought it meant something different myself, lol.

 

On 7/23/2019 at 5:40 AM, SamanthaPrater said:

I've been hurt because people slandered my name on a drama website.. if you'd like to get to know who I am actually , please don't hesitate. I want people who are nice; and don't judge me based on false rumors. I've been in a group of bad people and I just want peace. <3.

I understand the needed for acceptance, and non-judgmental people after such drama. Real friends are always hard to find, but I can offer this, I'm a very non-judgmental person, as are a great number of my friends, we accept everyone. That being said, if you want to contact inworld, please do so, I'm always down for more friends :)

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8 minutes ago, Lixingke Kujisawa said:

Eructation is simply a fancier,

I was kidding. I'm one of those people that say burp when I mean burp, fart when I mean fart. Although I do use flatulent from time to time when calling someone a flatulent fardling. I love Anne McCaffrey's colorful metaphors. Spock could have learned a thing or two from her.

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Feel free to send me an IM ! I don't bite, usually am in world ! :). I don't check this forum much . lol. Fart jokes. <3.

 

SamanthaPrater Resident 

 

I am someone who's been hurt a lot both in SL, and RL, and I take SL as an extension of my RL. because of the things it has given me, I am a hopeful optimistic type of person.Into Comics, and Female, I also voice and on both skype and discord, can cam. :). Also; I DID Get INTJ-A. lol. so INTJ-A is my personality :P. half right!

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On 8/14/2019 at 11:48 AM, VanillaLovelace said:

... and you should not wait too long, if you identify someone as a potential troublemaker: Make a hard cut and move those people to your „blocked“ list. Life is too short to waste your time with false friends.  

Learned that one the hard way, my block list is now 449 ish. x.x 

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Samantha,

I am jalouse now. I never made it to be featured on "Virtual Secrets". 
How does one get on there, a little *****storm would certainly increase the traffic of my website-

I did find a long argument/verbal fight about you wanting them to take something off the site.
But I could not fiquere out what it actually was, that made you that angry.

Oh, and contact me inworld if you want, people with a reputation are interesting people (to me at least).
Nice girls  go to heaven, bad ones anywhere.



 

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I am sorry to hear about the drama hun...

Just let the drama go and try to move on; life is too short to dwell on the negative. I wish you the best of luck of finding new friends who are ACTUALLY friends.

Feel free to talk to me if you wish. <3

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