Jump to content

How do you get a Girlfriend On SL?


You are about to reply to a thread that has been inactive for 98 days.

Please take a moment to consider if this thread is worth bumping.

Recommended Posts

  • 1 month later...
  • Replies 200
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

Don't be so picky, Ricky! You'll find plenty of guys like her in SL!

At the risk of over stating the obvious, or generic advice, my best suggestion would be find something else you enjoy doing... that doesn't involve a girlfriend. If you are doing something you like; a

Truthfully, if you've been at it for 6 years with little to no success, you must be doing something wrong. It's hard to tell what exactly that might be, as I don't know a whole lot about you - but if

Posted Images

You ask nicely. 

No, but, seriously, dating and SL are not truly meant to be integral to one another. It's generally not a good idea to meet up RL anyway, depending on the circumstances. However, if you must have a girlfriend, or boyfriend for that matter, I do have some advice.

1. Be your most authentic self.  I can't tell you how many times I've seen friends break up with their SL-BFs because he seemed like such a nice and wonderful guy, only to reveal himself to be nothing but a sleazebag. I get it, it's SL, you're supposed to be able to be whoever you want, BUT, do it authentically. It's a contradiction of terms, yes, but it isn't really, if you think about it on a deeper level.
2. Get to know a girl before asking if she'll be your girlfriend. It's creepy. You could be the nicest, most genuine person on the grid, or map RL, and still frighten a potential partner away if you just walk up to the first thing on two legs you see and ask if they'll be your partner. Plus, you don't know them from another random face in the crowd.
3. I can't stress this one enough, but, absolutely DO NOT pressure someone.
4. No unsolicited **** pics. I don't know how many I've gotten over the years by over-eager guys, and it's seriously off-putting and is downright sad. You have a mouth, and a brain. If you just show me what's in your pants, I mean, yeah, it's nice (or in some cases definitely NOT) but it's not going to compel me to want to get to know you. You don't even know if the person receiving the pic is underage or not, and it's even worse if you're trying to get to know someone using a child-avi. In that case, eww, seek serious help.
5. Don't assume that just because we're here doesn't mean we even want a relationship, RL. 
6. Don't be a creep/stalker. Just... please, don't.

Link to post
Share on other sites

“Basic principles: no matter what, no matter when, no matter who… any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet. He just needs the right broom.”  – Will Smith

Link to post
Share on other sites

I would suggest starting afresh with a new avatar that has a better name. Naming yourself after a boxer than many people find obnoxious, then making it worse by implying that you're overweight, is not giving a good impression.

Once you've done that, then follow all the other advice in this thread.

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 3/3/2020 at 1:40 PM, Lewis Luminos said:

I would suggest starting afresh with a new avatar that has a better name. Naming yourself after a boxer than many people find obnoxious, then making it worse by implying that you're overweight, is not giving a good impression.

He hasn't been back in the thread since last August, so maybe he did that. Or quit SL altogether.

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 1/28/2020 at 2:15 PM, Zzevir said:

Did you tried tipping your fedora and casually saying m' lady? 

I heard that's works like a charm. 

Tipping the fedora is less effective than tipping the lady.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 1 month later...

I have the same problem...  I can;t find a sl girlfriend either.. or Boyfriend.. I mean I had one once but they died to get away from me so I figure I have issues I need to work out.. anyway good luck.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 months later...
On 7/17/2019 at 8:04 AM, RaeLeeH said:

The issue is you have to show it. Because, and please don't take this as a personal insult, a self-confident person doesn't generally start a thread looking for advice on how to get a girlfriend. He's confident enough to know he can get one. Your confidence isn't shining through right now. There's nothing wrong with a little fabrication now and then, we all do it from time to time, but if you build yourself up to be something that you are not you will quickly exhaust yourself trying to keep up an act, as well as doom whatever you do end up building to failure because your intended other will end up feeling betrayed and that "she didn't really know you at all". More importantly all the effort wasted on lies is effort that could be spent working on building something true with this other person. 

Confident people are not immune to failures. Confident people still need to learn and grow no matter how old they are. 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, kelly754754 said:

Confident people are not immune to failures. Confident people still need to learn and grow no matter how old they are. 

No confident people are not immune to failures, but they also do not see them as the norm. A confident person will learn from his or her failure and start again expecting to succeed.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

In Second Life you don't get a girlfriend the girlfriend gets you. Seriously it depends what kind of girlfriend you are looking for.

An SL only girlfriend is easy you just buy a mesh body, have a chat and avoid being a weirdo, stalker, needy. Won't work with every woman of course but most of the time that is all it takes. But why bother it will get boring after a while talking only about mesh bodies and sl activities.

An SLtoRL girlfriend on the other hand needs some effort, mesh body won't do the job you have to be physically attractive to her so go have some exercise and a haircut, no scary stuff(women get scared easily, i know its funny for us and they might laugh but for them you are acting weird), talk to her dirty when shes ready for it, do not be pushy or negative and set a date asap before stagnation comes and you both care more about SL stuff instead of having a proper date.Married women are sort of easier to date (also in RL if they see that you are trustworthy), single women usually need more time. Always pick women not too far(you will get bored) or too close(she will be scared), Plus trying to date a woman from another country is not practical. Chances are of course you won't need an SL girlfriend if you do all that but let's suppose that you do. More or less that's it.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
32 minutes ago, Nick0678 said:

In Second Life you don't get a girlfriend the girlfriend gets you. Seriously it depends what kind of girlfriend you are looking for.

An SL only girlfriend is easy you just buy a mesh body, have a chat and avoid being a weirdo, stalker, needy. Won't work with every woman of course but most of the time that is all it takes. But why bother it will get boring after a while talking only about mesh bodies and sl activities.

An SLtoRL girlfriend on the other hand needs some effort, mesh body won't do the job you have to be physically attractive to her so go have some exercise and a haircut, no scary stuff(women get scared easily, i know its funny for us and they might laugh but for them you are acting weird), talk to her dirty when shes ready for it, do not be pushy or negative and set a date asap before stagnation comes and you both care more about SL stuff instead of having a proper date.Married women are sort of easier to date (also in RL if they see that you are trustworthy), single women usually need more time. Always pick women not too far(you will get bored) or too close(she will be scared), Plus trying to date a woman from another country is not practical. Chances are of course you won't need an SL girlfriend if you do all that but let's suppose that you do. More or less that's it.

lol "too close she will be scared." how close r we speaking?

  • Haha 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
On 7/17/2019 at 12:06 PM, Rickyfatton said:

It's a real struggle for me, even though i spent a few hundies on my avatar. Women just seem to not be all that interested,

One thing I want to point out (Not claiming you’re like this!)  I’ve been hit on by people with truly stunning avatars but after the initial “Hi Emma...”  message... the conversation goes flat. My point being, I believe attraction to be very important but it only goes so far.  
  Someone earlier mentioned finding something you like to do. I luv to surf and Am always looking for better waves. I’ve  met a ton of men and women in my search And had some amazing conversations and made great friends doing so. 
  At the risk of starting to ramble like I’m prone to 🤪 I think your focus should be having fun... and being yourself. Because in my experience meeting someone special seems to happen when you’re not looking for it!

  Cheers
 

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, kelly754754 said:

lol "too close she will be scared." how close r we speaking?

Hahaha a couple of hours distance with the car/motorcycle is fine. Don't wanna risk having a total stranger disturbing the family, right.

Link to post
Share on other sites
50 minutes ago, Caroline Takeda said:

Why not?

 

It's rather simple, your chances to have a proper casual date in such cases from SL to RL are extremely low so why spend time and effort adjusting to different hours, different languages, different understanding of humor etc.Teleporting works great in SL but in RL you will need to get yourself to a plane/ship whatever. Too much time wasted for just a date.

It's not like its post apocalyptic times and you 2 are the only people in the world so you should find a way to be together to repopulate the human species, there are plenty of people closer to you , many of them will be compatible with your likes/standards so why spend time "packing" and not spend time "actually dating".

Edited by Nick0678
  • Haha 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Nick0678 said:

It's rather simple, your chances to have a proper casual date in such cases from SL to RL are extremely low so why spend time and effort adjusting to different hours, different languages, different understanding of humor etc.Teleporting works great in SL but in RL you will need to get yourself to a plane/ship whatever. Too much time wasted for just a date.

It's not like its post apocalyptic times and you 2 are the only people in the world so you should find a way to be together to repopulate the human species, there are plenty of people closer to you , many of them will be compatible with your likes/standards so why spend time "packing" and not spend time "actually dating".

Ok I thought we are talking about an SL girlfriend only. My bad.

Nevertheless, I live in central Europe. From here many other countries are within a few hours on train or plane. Easy.
In addition: If you really stumble into someone you really really  like, it might be worthwhile to get on a plane. At least I would not totally dismiss the option.

Quote

Too much time wasted for just a date.

Girls love it when you "waste" some time for them.

Quote

the human species

The further away the gens, the better for the evolution of the species. Said Charles. But what does he know anyway.

 

Edited by Caroline Takeda
Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, Caroline Takeda said:

Ok I thought we are talking about an SL girlfriend only. My bad.

Nevertheless, I live in central Europe. From here many other countries are within a few hours on train or plane. Easy.

Yes that was for the second category SLtoRL. If it's SL only it doesn't matter as long as you are logical and don't lose your sleep to interact with the other person.

I live in Europe too in southern europe, i assure you it's not as easy when it comes to casual dating. Casual dating means i get my car/motorcycle depending on weather you get properly dressed and we go at the beach to have our drinks, coffee, swimming and enjoy our weekend.

Quote

In addition: If you really stumble into someone you really really  like, it might be worthwhile to get on a plane. At least I would not totally dismiss the option.

Logically you can't "really really" like a person if you never dated them. SL dating doesn't count, more or less its a placebo and usually you are projecting your own feelings.

So you need to really date the other person and then you will know if you truly like them/dislike them.  Which in most cases won't happen so you avoid those.

It's like promoting a specific restaurant just because of the menu without actually ever "been there/tasted it". Modern Cinderella story is nice but.. well its a story.

Quote

Girls love it when you "waste" some time for them.

Yes girls do like it but the thing is that time is valuable so you find women who can understand that and choose to have a joyful time, we can waste plenty of time at the beach swimming, sunbathing, go to a nice restaurant, club  etc instead of wasting time only just talking/stagnating for months/years over the internet.

Quote

The further away the gens, the better for the evolution of the species. Said Charles. But what does he know anyway.

Well i am certain when he said that he didn't have SLtoRL casual dating in mind but sure why not if Charles is willing to pay for our weekly plane tickets cost i am ok with that.I would gladly date even people from New Zealand.. It's just 13.000km far away. Cheers to you Charlie, thanks! What was that? He won't cover the cost? That fellow is so negative sometimes.. Well OK if that is the case then maybe an SL girl with a private jet maybe looking for a date? I only have a car and a motorcycle so... my usual SL2RL dating type was restricted to same country/not extremely far distance.. only.

---

And with that i am going to leave you now cause its time to hit the beach for some cool drinks and swimming. It's an amazing day here with 33C/92F.

Take care all.

Edited by Nick0678
  • Haha 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
12 hours ago, Nick0678 said:

In Second Life you don't get a girlfriend the girlfriend gets you. Seriously it depends what kind of girlfriend you are looking for.

An SL only girlfriend is easy you just buy a mesh body, have a chat and avoid being a weirdo, stalker, needy. Won't work with every woman of course but most of the time that is all it takes. But why bother it will get boring after a while talking only about mesh bodies and sl activities.

An SLtoRL girlfriend on the other hand needs some effort, mesh body won't do the job you have to be physically attractive to her so go have some exercise and a haircut, no scary stuff(women get scared easily, i know its funny for us and they might laugh but for them you are acting weird), talk to her dirty when shes ready for it, do not be pushy or negative and set a date asap before stagnation comes and you both care more about SL stuff instead of having a proper date.Married women are sort of easier to date (also in RL if they see that you are trustworthy), single women usually need more time. Always pick women not too far(you will get bored) or too close(she will be scared), Plus trying to date a woman from another country is not practical. Chances are of course you won't need an SL girlfriend if you do all that but let's suppose that you do. More or less that's it.

 

14 hours ago, Talligurl said:

No confident people are not immune to failures, but they also do not see them as the norm. A confident person will learn from his or her failure and start again expecting to succeed.

depends on what one confident person tries to do and what past experiences have been. some norms are really nothing but failures. could u name some? if i don't want dickheads for partner, i entered a room with only 5% non dickheads, and i don't have that information. so does surveying how many dickheads are in the room make me not confident? 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Just a note..

** These are guidelines/tips from my personal experience regarding SL (extended to SL2RL) dating that i used to follow at the time that i was interested in such a thing (many people in SL also happen to practice/want.) It's not a debate, we are all here to give tips and i would gladly read tips from other people who have actually managed to have done SL2RL dating on a realistic/practical level, how it worked for them, how long it took them and how they experienced it. In my case my 1st happened many years ago after 3 months casual chatting in SL and lasted a few years both SL&RL regardless if we both lived different lives, 2nd was after 5 months chatting in SL and we had summer vacations together.Those that i dealt with who were not selected with these guidelines i simply never had the opportunity to meet them so eventually got forgotten as people i have never known.

  • Haha 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
You are about to reply to a thread that has been inactive for 98 days.

Please take a moment to consider if this thread is worth bumping.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...