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Rickyfatton

How do you get a Girlfriend On SL?

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Posted (edited)

First of all. Huge: DISCLAIMER, THIS IS NOT A TROLL THREAD, ITS A LEGITIMATE TOPIC THAT I NEED HELP WITH  ( Jagix Linden)

 

How do you guys get girlfriends? I see tons of Second life men with E-girlfriends, and I just don't know how they are able to get one.

It's a real struggle for me, even though i spent a few hundies on my avatar. Women just seem to not be all that interested, and I have been playing second life for a long time now Close to

6 years, and I've still yet to have a proper online relationship with an actual woman. 

If i could get a few pointers or even a few volunteers i'd appreciate it very much. 

Crap: Apologies if i posted this in the wrong forum. If  a mod could please move it.

Edited by Rickyfatton
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Not sure if they are still around but try looking up dating services. I know I have see them in the past but never looked into them. And no, I’m not talking about Escorts. Just a thought.

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Posted (edited)
30 minutes ago, Rickyfatton said:

If i could get a few pointers or even a few volunteers i'd appreciate it very much. 

 

I'm surely not volunteering, but you could do so yourself. Create an alt, partner her, et voila, one relationship you can fully dedicate yourself to.

 

P.S. Don' t call me Shirley.

Edited by TDD123
Shirley
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At the risk of over stating the obvious, or generic advice, my best suggestion would be find something else you enjoy doing... that doesn't involve a girlfriend. If you are doing something you like; a hobby (not a person), that might redirect your focus enough for your personality to shine through, so people get to know you. Desperation turns people off. But we're attracted to someone enjoying life, someone passionate about something. And if you chase a hobby instead a person, you might actually find yourself socializing with other people who share the same or similar interests that you might otherwise not have crossed paths with. Having common interests will give you both a solid foundation to build a relationship on, whether that's platonic or intimate.

By the way, I'm not actually volunteering anything more than advice. But I do wish you the best of luck! :) 

 

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Are we talking about “girl friends” or dating partners? I have lots of “girl friends” on the forums. Just be friendly to girls, make friends.

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15 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Are we talking about “girl friends” or dating partners? I have lots of “girl friends” on the forums. Just be friendly to girls, make friends.

❤️

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Friendship starts with chat, whether that is here, or through IM's. I make friends in world just by chatting, without any expectation of it going anywhere. Last night I was at a club, and I opened a conversation with a girl avi, who's profile was a good read.  We chatted about that, and coincidentally she was asking where all the guys go these days. I do happen to know that......they hang out at the Adult beaches...…...

Sometimes I can go to a club dance venue, and never get hit on...………even though there may be several guys hanging around the edges......like RL,  so don't be shy about chatting to girls, just make conversation and who knows...…….

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don't look for a girl friend, look for a friend thats a girl. Then sometimes things grow between you

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2 minutes ago, KanryDrago said:

Then sometimes things grow between you

NO, TDD123 !! 😮

( I just GOT to shut up myself)

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1 hour ago, Rickyfatton said:

even though i spent a few hundies on my avatar.

Thats not what counts in my opinion. If a girl wants to be with you because you have an Aeros, then you may havent found the right one, yet.
For example, im attracted to self confident, silly and/or in any way interesting people. Last time someone hit me up by telling me about his lemon squeezer collection. That totally got my attention.
So, just be the way you are, carry on and dont be sad if you get rejected. :)

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Just now, Resi Pfeffer said:

Thats not what counts in my opinion. If a girl wants to be with you because you have an Aeros, then you may havent found the right one, yet.
For example, im attracted to self confident, silly and/or in any way interesting people. Last time someone hit me up by telling me about his lemon squeezer collection. That totally got my attention.
So, just be the way you are, carry on and dont be sad if you get rejected. :)

"im attracted to self confident, silly and/or in any way interesting people."

I'm all of this.

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4 minutes ago, Rickyfatton said:

"im attracted to self confident, silly and/or in any way interesting people."

I'm all of this.

The issue is you have to show it. Because, and please don't take this as a personal insult, a self-confident person doesn't generally start a thread looking for advice on how to get a girlfriend. He's confident enough to know he can get one. Your confidence isn't shining through right now. There's nothing wrong with a little fabrication now and then, we all do it from time to time, but if you build yourself up to be something that you are not you will quickly exhaust yourself trying to keep up an act, as well as doom whatever you do end up building to failure because your intended other will end up feeling betrayed and that "she didn't really know you at all". More importantly all the effort wasted on lies is effort that could be spent working on building something true with this other person. 

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41 minutes ago, TDD123 said:
45 minutes ago, KanryDrago said:

Then sometimes things grow between you

NO, TDD123 !! 😮

( I just GOT to shut up myself)

Only if the guy’s a “grower”.

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Don't be desperate about it or let it show that you are looking for a girlfriend when you get in contact with girls. Its quite a turn off when someone you dont know and just met sees you as a "girlfriend candidate" instead of an interesting person that likes to get to know you. (Unless you are on a date specific for that purpose)

Desperation/neediness is incredibly non attractive, and can actually be creepy.

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3 hours ago, TheVeryFirst said:

I’m not talking about Escorts

for some that works perfect.. they come when you need them and are gone when you don't ( without getting angry)

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4 hours ago, Rickyfatton said:

6 years, and I've still yet to have a proper online relationship with an actual woman. 

If i could get a few pointers or even a few volunteers i'd appreciate it very much. 

This is the problem right here. Earlier you said  you see guys with “E-girlfriends”. So you seem to understand that it’s not serious, but you seem to want a “proper” relationship. Can’t have it both ways. If you want an “E-girlfriend” that shouldn’t be all that hard. 

Which leads me to the next thing. Asking for volunteers implies you’re a pretty low effort kind of dude. Even “E-girlfriends” don’t like low effort guys. If you’re looking for something “proper” that’s even more so. Low effort is bad news.

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You've been given lots of good advice here, and I'd echo most of it.

The one thing I want to add, though, is that you may be sabotaging your own efforts because of the way you are thinking about the end goal of any sort of connection with women that you are making. You say that you are "looking for a girlfriend," and what that seems to imply is that you are approaching each woman you meet with that prospective target in mind. In other words, the way that you talk to them may be dictated by the fact that you are thinking, "Maybe this person will be my girlfriend!"

Thinking in those terms is going to badly distort the way that you communicate with people. It will also tend to make you want to rush things along, and it means as well that you are probably not assigning enough value to the other kinds of relationship that you can have, some of which may eventually actually develop into a romantic connection.

So, instead of trying to proceed from "A" to "Z," think of your connections in terms of the gradations and levels of friendship and intimacy that are in between the initial communication, and your goal of finding a girlfriend. In other words, take it one step at a time. When you are at stage "B," for instance, with a woman (which might just be that you know someone well enough to say "hi" and ask them how they are doing), think about how you might be able to move along to stage "C" (which might be a longer, casual, but still not "intimate" conversation) rather than how to rush things along to the end.

You'll make more actual friends this way, and the more of those you get, the better chance you'll have of one of those relationships flowering into something special. You'll also be less likely to alarm the women you're approaching: no one likes to feel rushed. And you'll enjoy the process more, which should be the end goal, rather than the status of finally becoming "Guy with Girlfriend."

 

PS. Try to avoid using all caps in sentences. It makes you sound mildly insane.

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Posted (edited)

   Truthfully, if you've been at it for 6 years with little to no success, you must be doing something wrong. It's hard to tell what exactly that might be, as I don't know a whole lot about you - but if we look at the material accessible to us, i.e. your profile, it's not offering a whole lot of information about yourself; the picture of your avatar (presumably) in the arms of another, the only visible group is probably a major turn-off for a lot of people, and the majority of the content in your about tab is chat log excerpt of another person.

   Were I at a club or venue for people looking for partners, I'd never approach someone with a profile like that. That's not to say there aren't people who wouldn't, but you've put no effort into your profile. Then, considering your post, one has to question your manners and conduct towards people - asking for volunteers, really? If you want an object rather than a person, animesh has come a long way. You seem capable of forming complete sentences, which frankly appears quite rare in SL; but punctuation alone doesn't impress, if the content make people feel as if they're being objectified and that you're trying to shove them to fit into the missing pieces of your personal puzzle. A relationship is about a mutual exchange, and whilst what's being exchanged in any given relationship may vary from another, you haven't in any way shown what you have to offer.

Edited by Orwar
Posting pre-tea, missed a word here and there.
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im going to say this as nice as i possible can...

"THIS IS NOT A TROLL THREAD" - yes it is

" i spent a few hundies on my avatar" - no you havent, i have seen you

you might want to remove the only visible group in your profile - hint ...women that are girlfriend material dont like that kind of groups/group names

my advice to you is make and alt and partner it up or get a blow-up doll

now being blunt - its never going to happen

 

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3 minutes ago, Elise Banx said:

im going to say this as nice as i possible can...

"THIS IS NOT A TROLL THREAD" - yes it is

" i spent a few hundies on my avatar" - no you havent, i have seen you

you might want to remove the only visible group in your profile - hint ...women that are girlfriend material dont like that kind of groups/group names

my advice to you is make and alt and partner it up or get a blow-up doll

now being blunt - its never going to happen

 

"THIS IS NOT A TROLL THREAD" - yes it is"    No, it's not 

" i spent a few hundies on my avatar" - no you havent, i have seen you"   Lies, when/where did you see me? 

 

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Posted (edited)

Smells like a troll thread, but i'll give advice anyway.  It's pretty much the same way you get one in real life.

  • Meet them at an event, party, work, school, through friends, etc.
  • Develop an interesting conversation between the both of you.
  • Exchange contact information (or add to friend list in SL).
  • Continue seeing each other and hope for the best.

Other tips:

  • Don't be aggressive or stalk.
  • Don't ask her to marry you within the first five minutes.
  • Only bring up real life if it's about you, then see if she/he wants to talk about their life.

Whatever you do, don't force it.  Let it happen naturally.  Those are the best relationships that last years.

 

Edited by Nextio
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