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"That is not what I meant, at all": How to Connect Respectfully


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5 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:

A thought has just occurred to me. Has there EVER been a time when feminism wasn't "going too far"?

Well, it's an interesting question. I'm going to guess not . . . because if there weren't people who thought it was "going too far," the change for which we were working would likely have already happened. So long as there are people who have a stake in the status quo, for whatever reason, there will be resistance.

An even more interesting question, perhaps, is . . . will there ever come a time when feminism is no longer "going too far"?

I suppose that, should we one day achieve global nirvana, with universal peace, equality, acceptance of difference, etc. etc. etc. . . . but, seriously, how likely is that?

I hope, to be honest, that feminism continues to rankle, to upset, and to disturb. Not just because I think that the change we seek is important, but because it serves a useful function as a sort of gadfly, disrupting complacency and forcing people to at least confront their own preconceptions.

And for that to happen, feminism itself obviously has to keep evolving, which is a painful and sometimes annoying process. We rankle and disrupt ourselves and each other. One of the funnier things I hear people talk about is the so-called "feminist agenda" -- as though there were some master plan we've all agreed on. Anyone who really wants to see tempers raised and feathers flying should stop by a feminist discussion group one day. It can make the mild acrimony here look like a love-in.

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Having recently experienced a rash of people attempting to engage or connect with me for the first time in a manner that I've found annoying, disrespectful, and, to put it mildly, ineffective, I thoug

My husband accused me of shopping the other day.. Him:You've been on SL shopping again haven't you?!! Me:No honey ,I swear! I was only having Sex with strangers!! You gotta believe me! \o/

I think it's fascinating, and suggestive, that, nearly whenever this issue of assigning blame to a woman for what she chooses to wear arises, this is the analogy that is employed. It is interesti

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8 hours ago, Beth Macbain said:

Really sad to see that this thread has turned into several men (and a couple of women as well) trying to pat us girls on the head and get us to just behave. 

Well, none of my posts were intended that way. I speak what I truly think, with a bit of levity now and then. I grew up watching Monty Python so I can't help it.

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1 hour ago, Akane Nacht said:

I speak what I truly think, with a bit of levity now and then. I grew up watching Monty Python so I can't help it.

Absolutely NO levity permitted here. We are serious women on serious business!

(Should I tell my "How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" joke again?)

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3 hours ago, Akane Nacht said:

Well, none of my posts were intended that way. I speak what I truly think, with a bit of levity now and then. I grew up watching Monty Python so I can't help it.

I would actually be very happy if John Cleese kept his thoughts to himself these days. Michael Palin, though, he's a national treasure.

Edited by Amina Sopwith
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On 6/21/2019 at 2:36 PM, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Not entirely sure I believe him: I'll have to ask Maddy, whom he said had agreed to officiate.

Well, this is amusing. You're not sure whether to believe someone, so you come to me for the truth?

I did agree. I think I also agreed to perform the last rites for whichever of you two was eventually killed by the other.

I am, as you may know, a minister in RL and I don't get to use my hard earned (cost me thirty bucks!) credentials nearly often enough.

Edited by Madelaine McMasters
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26 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

Well, this is amusing. You're not sure whether to believe someone, so you come to me for the truth?

I did agree. I think I also agreed to perform the last rites for whichever of you two was eventually killed by the other.

I am, as you may know, a minister in RL and I don't get to use my hard earned (cost me thirty bucks!) credentials nearly often enough.

Huh.

We must talk. Over coffee, or wine, or blood, or whatever it is that demons drink.

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lol, I have so many smart ass comments I love to share, but I am why to lazy so we just do the easy way.

Sex dressed = either dude, old lady, fat lady, fat dude or my favourite old fat dude dressed like a lady.

Sexy dressed = either dude, old lady, fat lady, fat dude or my favourite old fat dude dressed like a lady.

conservative dressed for comfort or job = well that just weird as my AV never complained about any of my clothing choices and no job ever complained bout my leather man  thong and tank top outfit!

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2 hours ago, TheDarkhand said:

lol, I have so many smart ass comments I love to share, but I am why to lazy so we just do the easy way.

Sex dressed = either dude, old lady, fat lady, fat dude or my favourite old fat dude dressed like a lady.

Sexy dressed = either dude, old lady, fat lady, fat dude or my favourite old fat dude dressed like a lady.

conservative dressed for comfort or job = well that just weird as my AV never complained about any of my clothing choices and no job ever complained bout my leather man  thong and tank top outfit!

No picture?

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1 hour ago, Ima Rang said:

Still schooling the virtual public on how to behave I see.  Hope all is well...it has been a long time. 

Hi Ima! I thought maybe I'd seen you pop up in some other thread. It's nice to see you here again; I hope you're well?

I am pretty certain that Beth, Amina, Akane, Luna, Selene, and all of the others who've contributed here don't feel they need to be "schooled" by me.

I don't think they do either. i think we had a pretty civil, wide-ranging, and constructive discussion here, with lots of different perspectives. It was cool; I learned stuff!

I'm sorry you weren't here to contribute too: I remember that you have pretty strong views on these things yourself, and a forceful and persuasive way of expressing them.

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I am well, thank you.  Travelling a bit more than I care to for work these days, but otherwise, getting on well.  

Of course, I was making an observation, not an accusation.  It was, as per usual, an interesting read, with interesting discussion/feedback.  I did pop into another thread related to the signatures obtained for a change.org initiative-an open letter to LL, if I recall correctly.  I see that doom, despair, and life is not fair, are still hot topics :) What are we without our miseries? :P 

Indeed, you recall correctly...I have very strong views on these things as well.  Unfortunately, with our current US administration, I have focused my passions elsewhere.  But, still, I applaud your efforts to keep "consent" a primary focus for all.  

I'm not around much, but I did want to claim a new Linden home, I suppose it is not necessary to tell you how unsuccessful that endeavor has been...and I wanted to find out if Tilia was actually taking over my entire financial future or if the reactions were premature-Premature won. 

I hope to take a staycation in the coming days.  I look forward to engaging...almost like old times ;)

Be well!

Edited to add...I thought I had quoted your text....but alas, nay. 

 

 

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5 hours ago, Ima Rang said:

Of course, I was making an observation, not an accusation.

Yes, sorry: I didn't mean to imply otherwise. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't getting all the credit for a lengthy thread that was very much a collaborative and collective effort! It is possibly not always obvious, because I'm pretty incapable of not talking too much anyway, but I've always thought of my role in threads I start as sort of "curator" or "facilitator." It's one of the reasons why I usually make an effort, at least early on, to respond in at least some way to every post.

The forums now are a very different place than they were, certainly, when I was most active here. There is much more hands-on moderation here than in the "old days," with mods even popping into threads to admonish posters if things get out of hand. One of the real advantages is that it's a much more "civil" place, and trolling really is not tolerated; one of the real disadvantages is that it's probably not as entertaining or exciting as it used to be. Overall, though, this is a pretty nice and welcoming community now, and that's a good thing.

The "doom and gloom" is, of course, a trademark of the forums, but it's been really pronounced recently because of announcements such as the increase in the currency conversion fees and price of Premium, the short-lived proposal to reduce group slots for non-Premium residents, and, now, this announcement about Telia. On the plus side, there was a lot of very positive excitement about the new Linden hopes -- which was sadly succeeded by a great many complaints from those who inevitably did not get one (and most especially did not get a houseboat). So, you're not alone in that regard, for what that's worth.

I do hope to see you around a bit in the future: that would be fun!

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