A confession as to why I would use female avis.

[Amanda Crisp]

I’m happy that SL brings you joy, no matter what kind of avatar you choose 🙂

The exercise of Imagination begins when people realize that their soul is not limited by whatever situation they were born into.

We only get a finite amount of time in this life; live it as makes you happy.

[Maitimo]

There are a thousand reasons for a guy to have a female avatar, and only two of them; fraud and sexual age-play, are not valid.

For me it started as a way to expand my choice of potential costumes for the fantasy events I go to, but I very quickly realised how much I just simply enjoyed it.  Wearing makeup, high heels - it's a thing I would never dream of doing in RL. For one thing my body shape and face in RL definitely do not look in any way feminine - I would look utterly ridiculous in makeup and heels. 

I've always been attracted to more feminine men though - hence why my avatar was always fairly feminine to begin with, even with a male body and shape. So I guess ultimately I'm doing it for a similar reason as the OP.

I am not doing boobs though. I just... can't. Sorry, ladies, but I don't find them appealing in the slightest. 

Edited August 11, 2019 by Matty Luminos

[Gregorian Chant]

On 6/5/2019 at 2:58 PM, Gopi Passiflora said:

I just realized the main reason as to why I like using female avis...it's a way of making my dream girl come to life, so to speak. I'll admit it, I'm a single guy who's never had a relationship. I guess that female avatars are a way for me to create my dream girl and allow me to transfer my ideas of what my ideal woman would be like onto the avi. It's kinda like having a girlfriend in a way.

Go ahead, laugh at me. I know it's pathetic.

Nah, bro!  Not pathetic in the slightest.

This is why I love SL.  Why subject your meatsuit to painful surgery to look like some Adonis or Aphrodite ideal when you can dial your sliders on your avatar instead?

[Adriana Ulich]

I was browsing around on Amazon video last week for something to watch and came across a show about people getting pulled into a video game similar to World of Warcraft. 

It turned out that one of the female characters was actually a guy named Steven.  When confronted, he explained that he created a female character because if he was going to play the game all the time than he'd rather be staring at a cute female butt all day than staring at his own.

 

[Kia Kiyori]

On 6/6/2019 at 4:28 AM, Gopi Passiflora said:

I just realized the main reason as to why I like using female avis...it's a way of making my dream girl come to life, so to speak. I'll admit it, I'm a single guy who's never had a relationship. I guess that female avatars are a way for me to create my dream girl and allow me to transfer my ideas of what my ideal woman would be like onto the avi. It's kinda like having a girlfriend in a way.

Go ahead, laugh at me. I know it's pathetic.

You know what, Gopi? You don't need to justify why yourself to any of us - but I really like your reason why

[Resi Pfeffer]

On 6/5/2019 at 8:58 PM, Gopi Passiflora said:

I guess that female avatars are a way for me to create my dream girl and allow me to transfer my ideas of what my ideal woman would be

Thats not pathetic at all. To me it sounds more like a wonderful person walks through the streets of SL.

[kiramanell]

On 6/5/2019 at 9:13 PM, CoffeeDujour said:

Dating in SL is totally a thing and can totally work.

Although, and please don't take this the wrong way, if you're straight (as in a guy who's 100% sure about being a guy and looking for a girl, who is into guys) .. maybe playing a girl seeking a girl, who's seeking a guy, but only wants lesbians in SL, might be ramping up the difficulty somewhat.

That said, SL is what it is .. if it makes you happy, carry on.

 

Okay, yeah, LOL, that seriously made my head hurt. 🤣

Edited August 15, 2019 by kiramanell

[kiramanell]

On 6/6/2019 at 9:21 AM, RaeLeeH said:

I think the tagline for Second Life speaks for itself; Your World, Your Imagination. It doesn't really matter the WHY. We already have a world where we're ourselves called Real Life. So long as you're not hurting anyone else, the rest doesn't matter.

People will tell you to be honest and to a degree yes you should be. No one deserves to be hurt. But there's also a fine line to tread. If you publicly declare you are a RL male then your immersion will be lost and you will be treated as a man behind the avatar, so you won't get to experience what it is to live like a woman if that's the experience you're after. Most people should know that these avatars aren't real life representations of our RL selves, though undoubtedly some are or strive to be. My avatar for example is an idealised version of me when I was much younger and skinnier but it isn't me. It's not supposed to be. If people believe this is exactly what I look like behind the keyboard then they are a little deluded. You can expect other people to have a degree of commonsense, but you can't be held responsible for those who believe everything that they see is as it really is either.

If you do find others feelings are starting to develop for you, or you do start developing them for others, then at that point you should probably say something. The last thing you want to be accused of is catfishing. Some people I know that currently run a popular urban sim actually met this way, professing they were opposing genders than their avatars behind the keyboards (he is really a woman, she is really a man). They were even a partnered couple for a time and had a lot of children together. Playing as the opposite sex isn't frowned upon by everyone, but there are still those that frown on it for one reason or another.

TL;DR: If you want to spend your days here as a woman there's absolutely nothing at all wrong with that and no one at all has the right to judge you, just don't try and hurt people if you can possibly help it. Have fun! It's what we're all supposed to here for, isn't it?  

 

Wow, that was an incredibly good post! 👍

The bolded parts really stuck out for me. Back when, I used to watch men get irate on Jerry Springer, when they found out their girlfriend was actually a man. And I get that, of course. But yeah, for those transgendered men, wasn't the whole idea to pass for a woman?! I mean, what would be the point of the exercise, if you're going to advertise you're a man upfront? They were catfishing, of course, and that goes very far, but still, I get it.

And like with a younger looking avi, is there really so much difference? It's the theme of Surrogates. Choosing a body you want, rather than the one you're having, what's wrong with that? I love to quote The Matrix in these types of convos, where they talk about 'residual self-image.' Switching gender is a bit of a different order of magnitude, but essentially not all that much different.

Some ppl don't like the deception involved. I get that too. But a transgender might argue that it's not pretend, but that he really is a woman (who just happens to be stuck in the wrong body). In RL, because of actual physical relationships involved, I defer to your wise rule of never to hurt anyone. And I think ppl really should tell, before engaging in that. But SL is like the ultimate Surrogates experience, where you can be whoever you want to be!

[FairreLilette]

On 6/5/2019 at 11:58 AM, Gopi Passiflora said:

I just realized the main reason as to why I like using female avis...it's a way of making my dream girl come to life, so to speak. I'll admit it, I'm a single guy who's never had a relationship. I guess that female avatars are a way for me to create my dream girl and allow me to transfer my ideas of what my ideal woman would be like onto the avi. It's kinda like having a girlfriend in a way.

Go ahead, laugh at me. I know it's pathetic.

I thought you were going to say "because there are more clothing options".

I have not created a male avatar yet (or my dream guy) because of money and time...I'd prefer to buy another female mesh head first...but I would make him a male angel for photographic purposes and he'd be a bit "dreamy".  So, it makes sense to me.  

[Gilgamesh Alpha]

On 8/13/2019 at 7:55 AM, Adriana Ulich said:

I was browsing around on Amazon video last week for something to watch and came across a show about people getting pulled into a video game similar to World of Warcraft. 

It turned out that one of the female characters was actually a guy named Steven.  When confronted, he explained that he created a female character because if he was going to play the game all the time than he'd rather be staring at a cute female butt all day than staring at his own.

 

What was the name of the show?

[Amanda Dallin]

5 hours ago, PropaneNightmares said:

What was the name of the show?

That sounds like one I saw a few months ago.  I think it was called AFK.  It's a series with about a dozen episodes.

I thought it well done for something with an obviously low budget.

[Adriana Ulich]

13 hours ago, Amanda Dallin said:

That sounds like one I saw a few months ago.  I think it was called AFK.  It's a series with about a dozen episodes.

I thought it well done for something with an obviously low budget.

I think you're correct that it was AFK.  Extremely low budget with bad acting, but it was fun and I watched both seasons.

[usedcars]

On 6/5/2019 at 2:58 PM, Gopi Passiflora said:

I just realized the main reason as to why I like using female avis...it's a way of making my dream girl come to life, so to speak. I'll admit it, I'm a single guy who's never had a relationship. I guess that female avatars are a way for me to create my dream girl and allow me to transfer my ideas of what my ideal woman would be like onto the avi. It's kinda like having a girlfriend in a way.

Go ahead, laugh at me. I know it's pathetic.

Nothing wrong with being a girl in SL.  You might be surprised how many of your female friends in SL are men

[usedcars]

On 6/5/2019 at 2:58 PM, Gopi Passiflora said:

I just realized the main reason as to why I like using female avis...it's a way of making my dream girl come to life, so to speak. I'll admit it, I'm a single guy who's never had a relationship. I guess that female avatars are a way for me to create my dream girl and allow me to transfer my ideas of what my ideal woman would be like onto the avi. It's kinda like having a girlfriend in a way.

Go ahead, laugh at me. I know it's pathetic.

Nothing wrong with being a girl in SL.  You might be surprised how many of your female friends in SL are men

[StrykerHawk]

I have a female alt and I dont share any RL info on her and know one knows but it is fun to walk into most areas.  I dont consider it cat fishing that usually associated with RL pics and out of secondlife

[Talligurl]

On 6/5/2019 at 2:58 PM, Gopi Passiflora said:

it's a way of making my dream girl come to life

come on, be honest, we know it is because we have better shoes.

[Raevyn Addams]

6 minutes ago, Talligurl said:

come on, be honest, we know it is because we have better shoes.

And hair!

[usedcars]

35 minutes ago, RaeLeeH said:

And hair!

 Clothes and hair

[Maitimo]

15 hours ago, RaeLeeH said:

And hair!

Being a guy never stopped me wearing girls hair.

[Skell Dagger]

33 minutes ago, Matty Luminos said:

Being a guy never stopped me wearing girls hair.

Ditto. I've been wearing female hair for years in SL. Sure, it sometimes digs in between the shoulder blades, but it's worth it. Likewise shoes; there are now socks (made by Riot) that allow male-bodied avatars to wear heels that are rigged for female bodies, and before those came about (back in the days of shoes with added feet, and any kind of boots at all) I would still wear female footwear.

Edited August 26, 2019 by Skell Dagger