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Posted (edited)

I have always been tired of how SL is Sex first and everything else second.

It is over sexualized and not just in reputation. 

Oh now , don't get me wrong I eek out a lot of fun here that is in my comfort zone. And I have dabbled in the adult areas of SL.

But -ugh- SL is so many times more sexual than RL. The clothes, the profiles, everything.

Does No one else thinks it is weird to be out shopping and look at a profile and instantly be reading a list of every kink the stranger is willing to perform?  But then try start a casual conversation after that ..  "Hi there neighbor,  I also dont like being urinated on and not just when in bed!"  

Out and about looking a horses yesterday  and  most are is dressed in stripper clothes and one has a person chained by the neck kneeling naked. 

I just would like to go a day in SL without basically porn (maybe not the actual act but etc) in my face. 

All this happened recently and then I was reading the Roleplay forum  section and many are looking for sexual submissive  etc. And combined it just too dam much. 

Forgot to mention how I am talked to in IMa that is unsolicited and not okay! The weird sex propositions  said to my avatar would never fly as okay in RL 2019. It makes me feel like I am fighting not to be a sex object in SL. A guy recently told me that by making a good looking avatar I was asking for attention and to be $&$@@. 

All I want is for it all to be kept in the adult areas.  

 

Edited by Louminca
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Mute and move on.  Seriously I get more telemarketing calls in RL than random IM's in SL and I find them significantly more annoying. So just do what you would in RL and hang up without talking to them.

All of SL is not that way.  For every single "hru" message that leads to a sexual proposal there are tens of thousands of people who have said nothing to you.  Don't let the few control you.  Block and move on.

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@Rhonda Huntress

Yes true , true. Good advice and I will do that

I almost regret posting this already because I was just in a pissed off mood because several skezzy things happened to me in right in a row. 

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If you don't want to see adult content than you can go to G rated sims and set your filters to G ratings onky. You can also go to grids with no sexual content. If someone sexually harasses you, report, block, and move on. I understand not wanting to see adult content but others are still entitled to their lifestyle choices.

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48 minutes ago, Louminca said:

Out and about looking a horses yesterday  and  most are is dressed in stripper clothes and one has a person chained by the neck kneeling naked. 

Well, that's SL for you! (rolls on floor laughing...)

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2 hours ago, Louminca said:

 

Out and about looking a horses yesterday  and  most are is dressed in stripper clothes and one has a person chained by the neck kneeling naked. 

 

Oh you said 'stripper' clothes, not striped, my mistake 😛

zebras-striped-markings.jpg

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I have to disagree.

It does really depend on where you are, and yes, people in SL are less shy about their adult interests and lifestyles, but to say it's sex first is kind of false (even considering the overt D/s relationship the OP witnessed with the leashes and the kneeling might not actually involve any kind of sex at all). People in "adult dress" will stand out more to than everyone else. If something bugs you, expect to notice it everywhere. That's just how personal bias works.

It's also really easy to search for all the smutty content in one go, there isn't really an easy way to show you literally everything else without being specific.

Likewise the top smutty locations are the top locations because they are constantly busy, all day every day, if they weren't, then they would be empty and abandoned. It's entirely circular. Overall they only make up a small percentage of locations and people, but they don't show up.

Press coverage and reputation is another matter entirely. "Yellow" journalism sells, when there is high competition for coverage, all coverage trends towards sensationalism. It's easy for a journalist to pop open SL, discover all the smut and then write about that. Much easier than a nuanced piece detailing the finer points of virtual sailing or one of a thousand other equally specialist topics. These same journos also tend to then declare SL a failure because of the smut .. where failure doesn't mean 16 year old profitable business, it means SL didn't become Facebook, therefore, it's junk.

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1 hour ago, April Cordeaux said:

If you don't want to see adult content than you can go to G rated sims and set your filters to G ratings onky. You can also go to grids with no sexual content. If someone sexually harasses you, report, block, and move on. I understand not wanting to see adult content but others are still entitled to their lifestyle choices.

It's not that simple though.  Most of the popular events or clothing brands are set to Mature or Adult, so it's really difficult to avoid seeing the bound gimp/slave and the half-naked leashed and collared bdsm sub/slave.  Setting your rating to G severely limits the SL experience.  Don't get me wrong, i'm not taking a side here, just stating that there are pros and cons with the rating filters.

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SOMEHOW I have managed to live (11 years 4 months; 4165 days) with very few adult encounters. I have been in tons of events that are moderate (can't remember any adult rated ones since I don't DO that kind of work but there may have been som). I have visited and blogged hundreds of adult rated sims  ----- 

 

And still I have manage to NOT have any problems.   

 

Perhaps it all boils down to what folks are looking for --- even if they don't know they are looking.  :SwingingFriends:

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2 hours ago, Nextio said:

It's not that simple though.  Most of the popular events or clothing brands are set to Mature or Adult, so it's really difficult to avoid seeing the bound gimp/slave and the half-naked leashed and collared bdsm sub/slave.  Setting your rating to G severely limits the SL experience.  Don't get me wrong, i'm not taking a side here, just stating that there are pros and cons with the rating filters.

 

I have been in well over one hundred events in the moderate category (some general and possibly some adult also - wasn't paying attention) and have NEVER been faced with what you are mentioning. If you go to "Kinky" say (if it is still around, not sure)  or XXX  well, yes, you will see "kinky" but most of the top events are VERY TASTEFULL if somewhat more on the naked side (it really does get boring) than I would like.

 

 

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Wherever did you manage to find a place where the horses all dress in stripper clothes?

I mean, wow, KINKIEEEEE.

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@Lindal Kidd Oh my I know it reads like that.. like I found a place where horses have become sexual overlords and that "one has a person chained"

I'm just trying to laugh at it now. I ran into a string of -ugh- *****. Maybe I did start to notice it more after each rude thing. 

But I have always had trouble finding casual clothes  versus sexy ones. 

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19 minutes ago, Louminca said:

But I have always had trouble finding casual clothes versus sexy ones. 

I've been struggling with that for my animesh characters. I'm currently looking for a very low-LI rigged mesh jacket/windbreaker, something a 20something woman might wear walking around. Full perm, because animesh mesh clothing has to be linked, not "worn". I can find tons of sexy gear, but wardrobe basics are harder.

If you have a mesh jacket which, rezzed by itself, is under 1200 triangles, please let me know.

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As for clothes, I've found shopping on the marketplace to be less frustrating and more efficient than inworld. I have a preference for clothes that look upscale and are somewhat modest, stuff someone might wear IRL to a dinner party or to work in an office. And a couple of regular sweater/jeans outfits for spending time in the wintry outdoors. When you don't want club clothes, it's easier to use the MP where you can use keyword searches and see dozens of pictures at a time. I only shop inworld if I found and liked their products on the MP first.

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1 hour ago, Chic Aeon said:

...well, yes, you will see "kinky" but most of the top events are VERY TASTEFULL ...

I wouldn't even call kinky 'kinky',

  • Dirty word neon signs✔️ 
  • Something with an improbable number of straps ✔️
  • Hair, because why not✔️
  • Decorative cocktails/booze✔️
  • Some kind of cylindrical neck wear.✔️
  • One truly odd item, where the creator's only point of reference is a fifth hand tale from a friend of a friend with an uncle who knew someone, who overheard, that one time, back when.✔️
  • Entirely regular shoes.✔️
  • A tattoo✔️
  • Some club dance animations.✔️
  • 5 vendors in a row that all look the same all rendered in daz or whatever✔️

 

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2 minutes ago, CoffeeDujour said:

I wouldn't even call kinky 'kinky',

  • Dirty word neon signs✔️ 
  • Something with an improbable number of straps ✔️
  • Hair, because why not✔️
  • Decorative cocktails/booze✔️
  • Some kind of cylindrical neck wear.✔️
  • One truly odd item, where the creator's only point of reference is a fifth hand tale from a friend of a friend with an uncle who knew someone, who overheard, that one time, back when.✔️
  • Entirely regular shoes.✔️
  • A tattoo✔️
  • Some club dance animations.✔️
  • 5 vendors in a row that all look the same all rendered in daz or whatever✔️

 

I haven't been there (to Kinky)  in a very very long time (and then only to check on something I was blogging). At one time when it first opened it was pretty darn kinky. Not going to mention WHAT as this isn't the adult part of the forums. 

Like a ton (oh so very many) events --- the watered down effect has taken place. Pretty much all the events, no matter their theme or "genre" are the same. Now and then there are some stellar new releases but for the most part it is the same stuff everywhere.   The event owners need to fill those slots with someone or they don't make any money. 

Sadly for sure --- at least for me.  I am pretty much on my last exit door. 

 

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There is a sort of SL fashion trend pressure that seems to normalise everything to whatever is 'hot' right now, and then it's gone, never to be seen again, save for a few stragglers who just weren't able to make the deadlines and figured the next event, whatever the theme, it would just have to do.

Kitty and I shop a LOT .. and we've both noticed our overall spend has been going down. Except for the arcade. just . one . more .. dammit 

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1 hour ago, Chic Aeon said:

it really does get boring

Yeah, this. The overt sexualization of much of the clothing, dances, and so forth in SL is mostly just tedious. Oh, and aesthetically pretty gawd awful too. A great deal of what passes for "sexy" in SL is just plain ugly.

I go to a fair number of "A" rated sims, mostly for pics, and I almost never come across anything that's really very explicit; I think you have to either be a bit unlucky, or choosing to go to places where such stuff is likely to be on display if you're seeing a lot of it.

The one exception, and I do actually find this annoying, is the Market Place. It has been probably 7 years since I deliberately searched for, or indeed bought, anything very sexual, but I do find that an awful lot of what appears in the "Featured" section at the top of the page is stuff I'd just rather not have to see while drinking my morning coffee. And I don't mean just bare breasts or genitals.

MP's advertising algorithms clearly suck.

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56 minutes ago, animats said:

I've been struggling with that for my animesh characters. I'm currently looking for a very low-LI rigged mesh jacket/windbreaker, something a 20something woman might wear walking around. Full perm, because animesh mesh clothing has to be linked, not "worn". I can find tons of sexy gear, but wardrobe basics are harder.

If you have a mesh jacket which, rezzed by itself, is under 1200 triangles, please let me know.

Try Ducknipple.

https://marketplace.secondlife.com/stores/3428

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9 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Yeah, this. The overt sexualization of much of the clothing, dances, and so forth in SL is mostly just tedious. Oh, and aesthetically pretty gawd awful too. A great deal of what passes for "sexy" in SL is just plain ugly.

I go to a fair number of "A" rated sims, mostly for pics, and I almost never come across anything that's really very explicit; I think you have to either be a bit unlucky, or choosing to go to places where such stuff is likely to be on display if you're seeing a lot of it.

The one exception, and I do actually find this annoying, is the Market Place. It has been probably 7 years since I deliberately searched for, or indeed bought, anything very sexual, but I do find that an awful lot of what appears in the "Featured" section at the top of the page is stuff I'd just rather not have to see while drinking my morning coffee. And I don't mean just bare breasts or genitals.

MP's advertising algorithms clearly suck.

The thing I don't like about MP searches is,you get stuff from all time periods also unless you use the,Newest option of the search options.

You can get full page of the same Item using Newest.

Using any of the others can land you in any time period..

I was looking for some nice spring and summer dresses the other day and took me forever and a day.. hehehehe

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Posted (edited)
15 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

The thing I don't like about MP searches is,you get stuff from all time periods also unless you use the,Newest option of the search options.

You can get full page of the same Item using Newest.

Using any of the others can land you in any time period..

I was looking for some nice spring and summer dresses the other day and took me forever and a day.. hehehehe

Yeah. I routinely enter "mesh" into the search field, and then order from lowest to highest price. That way, you tend to get only the demo version of any one item (rather than all 30 colour options), and prim or system clothing and items are usually (although not always) eliminated. It ain't perfect, but at least it reduces the amount of stuff originally made in 2011.

Edited by Scylla Rhiadra

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30 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

The one exception, and I do actually find this annoying, is the Market Place. It has been probably 7 years since I deliberately searched for, or indeed bought, anything very sexual, but I do find that an awful lot of what appears in the "Featured" section at the top of the page is stuff I'd just rather not have to see while drinking my morning coffee. And I don't mean just bare breasts or genitals.

If you set this

1az33kV.png

that does solve that problem (for me at least)... of course if you do that and still see overtly adult items, then you can flag them.

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2 hours ago, Chic Aeon said:

SOMEHOW I have managed to live (11 years 4 months; 4165 days) with very few adult encounters. I have been in tons of events that are moderate (can't remember any adult rated ones since I don't DO that kind of work but there may have been som). I have visited and blogged hundreds of adult rated sims  ----- 

 

And still I have manage to NOT have any problems.   

 

Perhaps it all boils down to what folks are looking for --- even if they don't know they are looking.  :SwingingFriends:

This is my experience as well.  It is rare that I run into a full kink situation and I rarely get propositioned.  I often hear people complain about the adult content, but I go to clubs, live events, role play sims, stores and Adult rated places and hardly ever see anything overtly sexual and even more rarely do I see sex acts.  Where do people go to see these things?  I see skimpy clothes all over, but in SL where you can have your perfect body, I figure people want their perfect wardrobe, too.

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