I am leaving SL, for good.

[Eternal4All]

7 minutes ago, Erwin Solo said:

I have one in my inventory somewhere. 

Did you get it before Linden released?

[Erwin Solo]

4 minutes ago, Eternal4All said:

Did you get it before Linden released?

On MarketPlace, I see 176 to choose from, sorted in order of ascending price, ranging from L$0 to a mid-range under L$500. 

My houseboats are a big name that went out of business, apparently not successfully transitioning to mesh. 

[Eternal4All]

1 minute ago, Erwin Solo said:

On MarketPlace, I see 176 to choose from, sorted in order of ascending price, ranging from L$0 to a mid-range under L$500. 

My houseboats are a big name that went out of business, apparently not successfully transitioning to mesh. 

I was about to get one of the houseboats prior to Linden release but changed my mind because I couldn't find a good land community. 

[Eternal4All]

Opps! I forgot that it's Women World Cup match: France and Korea.

31 minutes have passed :(. 

[Selene Gregoire]

52 minutes ago, Eternal4All said:

Thanks for that comment, I heard that somewhere before but I forgot to embed in my mind. I need to remember that. 

And you wonder why you can't get a girlfriend? Rhetorical question.

I'll leave you to it.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

3 hours ago, Selene Gregoire said:

And you wonder why you can't get a girlfriend? Rhetorical question.

I'll leave you to it.

Eternal can of course correct me if I'm wrong, but I read his comment as sincere -- he's acknowledging the importance of listening to women?

At least I hope so.

[Eternal4All]

3 hours ago, Selene Gregoire said:

And you wonder why you can't get a girlfriend? Rhetorical question.

I'll leave you to it.

 

12 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Eternal can of course correct me if I'm wrong, but I read his comment as sincere -- he's acknowledging the importance of listening to women?

At least I hope so.

I'm strongly believing now that I can get a girlfriend without money. I just need my living heart and soul.

[Selene Gregoire]

38 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Eternal can of course correct me if I'm wrong, but I read his comment as sincere -- he's acknowledging the importance of listening to women?

At least I hope so.

 

22 minutes ago, Eternal4All said:

 

I'm strongly believing now that I can get a girlfriend without money. I just need my living heart and soul.

I stand corrected. My apologies to you both for the misunderstanding.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

25 minutes ago, Selene Gregoire said:

 

I stand corrected. My apologies to you both for the misunderstanding.

Completely unnecessary, Selene. Reading tone is always difficult here. 

[LexxiXhan]

I've read (couldn't ignore) the OP.

I've checked that the OPer is still around. This was stressful.

I've read the last couple of posts with no epiphanies whatsoever.

Do I want to read the rest of the thread?

[Selene Gregoire]

42 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Completely unnecessary, Selene. Reading tone is always difficult here. 

Most people are tone deaf to my posts. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Tari Landar]

1 hour ago, Selene Gregoire said:

Most people are tone deaf to my posts. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

No worries here, totally not tone deaf

I am mostly blind..but it's not very selective, nor volunteer for that matter. It gets me in trouble, a lot more often than I care to, or will, admit

For example, I thought neither Erwin, nor Eternal, were actually serious. I read their comments completely differently than everyone else, it seems (in that, I laughed, at both)

 

[Selene Gregoire]

3 hours ago, Tari Landar said:

No worries here, totally not tone deaf

I am mostly blind..but it's not very selective, nor volunteer for that matter. It gets me in trouble, a lot more often than I care to, or will, admit

For example, I thought neither Erwin, nor Eternal, were actually serious. I read their comments completely differently than everyone else, it seems (in that, I laughed, at both)

 

I admit I giggled. A little. Just a little.

[Amina Sopwith]

3 hours ago, Tari Landar said:

For example, I thought neither Erwin, nor Eternal, were actually serious. I read their comments completely differently than everyone else, it seems (in that, I laughed, at both)

Me too.

[Erwin Solo]

11 hours ago, Eternal4All said:

I'm strongly believing now that I can get a girlfriend without money. I just need my living heart and soul.

I too!  I'm strongly believing I just need my living heart and soul!

[Scylla Rhiadra]

10 hours ago, Tari Landar said:

For example, I thought neither Erwin, nor Eternal, were actually serious. I read their comments completely differently than everyone else, it seems (in that, I laughed, at both)

Oh, I don't think there is any question that Erwin was "joking." And, if you're into the "Take my wife . . . please" brand of humour, I suppose it's funny enough?

But derisive humour is one of the most common ways to both express and camouflage an attack on particular identity. It makes it more socially acceptable to articulate homophobia, sexism, racism, or what-have-you. And, of course, the joke-maker can always fall back on the old "Lighten up! It was just a joke!" line of defense.  As a rhetorical strategy, it evidently works . . . the popularity of such jokes continues unabated.

But that Erwin's joke masks a very serious attitude towards women is pretty evident from his "Google this!" comments afterwards, and his non-jokey "insight" about "men who have girlfriends and have to navigate modern norms, which mostly involve spending a lot and pretending you don't."

It's a more-or-less free world: Erwin is free to jokingly express his disdain for "expensive" girlfriends. Anyone here is free to find it funny. And I am, happily, free to call out the underlying misogyny, even where it makes me sound humourless.

Which reminds me, of course, of my favourite anti-feminist joke, an oldie but a goodie! This one does make me smile.

          Question: How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

          Answer: One. AND IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!

😊

Edited June 8, 2019 by Scylla Rhiadra

[Tari Landar]

I don't find you humorless. I just didn't see misogyny in it. Girlfriends, boyfriends, friends, family members..humans in general are "expensive", in both tangible and intangible ways (and no one wants to read my wall of text on why that is so). Had someone said boyfriends are expensive, would you feel the same though? (you don't actually have to answer that, it's your interpretation, I'm not judging you, promise)  That, is precisely why I find such, at least a bit, funny. I love my hubby, but he's expensive. He loves me, but I'm expensive. I love my children, but they're expensive. None of those comments are attacks, let alone derisive, they're true. To me, they're a bit funny, primarily because...they're true.  Of course, your mileage may vary, as it did

You assumed it contained misogyny, because you assumed there was some sort of intended attack. I also assumed, that it had no misogyny, and was indicative of actuality, and I chuckled at the raw truth contained within  

Then again, I do my best NOT to find attacks (my best isn't that great, I'm a work in progress), especially so when I think they're intentional, because that would be merely giving someone precisely what they wanted -I'm not always that generous. I dunno, I'm no expert at humans, let alone always interpreting them, and I don't think anyone else on this planet is either. But, perfectly a-ok to have differing opinions, it's part of what makes us such a complex species, after all. 

 

[Rosaline Spiritor]

I didn't find anything wrong with Erwin's comment. You're calling him a misogynist based off text communication? Maybe you're letting your feminist brain control your interpretation of his words. But, I get it...it's text. You can't hear tones or see body language/facial expressions so its easy to jump to a reaction based of your own mindset. He's not entirely wrong though. There are alot of women who expect men to pay for their time and attention. This is why you always see females as strippers, escorts, or afk at some 'sleeping beauty' place allowing men to have poseball interactions with their avatars for money. So why would a 'girlfriend' be any different? Maybe you're a misandrist? Most feminists are... He answered your gendered questions.  You cannot now suggest that he was sexist or misogynist for addressing the specific gender of identified in your question.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

15 minutes ago, Rosaline Spiritor said:

Maybe you're letting your feminist brain control your interpretation of his words. But, I get it...it's text. You can't hear tones or see body language/facial expressions so its easy to jump to a reaction based of your own mindset. He's not entirely wrong though. There are alot of women who expect men to pay for their time and attention. This is why you always see females as strippers, escorts, or afk at some 'sleeping beauty' place allowing men to have poseball interactions with their avatars for money. So why would a 'girlfriend' be any different? Maybe you're a misandrist? Most feminists are...

LOL

With "defenders" like you, Rosaline, Erwin hardly needs critics.

Move along people, there's obviously nothing to see here . . .

[Erwin Solo]

20 minutes ago, Rosaline Spiritor said:

He answered your gendered questions.  You cannot now suggest that he was sexist or misogynist for addressing the specific gender of identified in your question.

Well, I wasn't going to post here again, but this part deserved emphasis.

[Beth Macbain]

First off, I love men. I love everything about them. I come from a large family with six brothers and a father who was my hero. In no way am I a misandrist. 

I also had a mom who was a true feminist of the first wave who raised me and my brothers to respect all and treat everyone equal. 

There is no stereotype around men being gold diggers and money-grubbing hos who'll do anything for a buck. Are there women who fit this stereotype? Of course there are. There are literally billions of women on this planet. The fact of the matter is that this a very small percentage of women yet it is constantly perpetuated through "jokes" like Erwin made that aren't actually "jokes" at all. 

For a woman to not acknowledge that, and excuse it even, is diminishing her own self worth and sad. 

I think that Erwin thinks he doesn't have a bit of institutionalized misogyny but the fact that he sees nothing wrong with making these kind of "jokes" says it's absolutely there. Ditto for Rosaline.

 

[Rosaline Spiritor]

So it's not ok for men to make jokes because you believe there's some underlying truth to it...but how many of you have joked about men in a similar manner? You'd be lying if you said you never have. As someone pointed out, if the roles were reversed and this was a topic based off a woman commenting about a man, I doubt you all would be arguing against it, like you are here. He did not say that it applies to ALL women. There are women that are looking for the man to pay for everything and maybe those are the ones he's had alot of interactions with, the ones who expect men to pay for her lifestyle. If a man seeks out a woman with money and she denies him the financial support he seeks, she's applauded. Good for her, make him pay for his own stuff! But, if a woman seeks out a man with money and he denies her the financial support she seeks, he's called greedy, selfish, etc. Why is the woman applauded, but the man not? You wanna talk about equality, but people's views change based on the gender of the person in question. See, a woman wouldn't joke about 'how much does having a boyfriend cost' because we're told it's the man's place to take care of the woman. It's not. It's his place to take care of himself and her place to take care of herself. Neither side should hold any expectations of 'rewards' being with the other. Both sides are guilty. "I need a man to take care of me." or "I need a woman to cook and clean for me." No, you need to take care of yourself, you need to cook and clean for yourself... any gifts, presents, dates, etc. should be reciprocated and seen as bonuses to the relationship. I have bought things for men in the past and some people responded with, "What? He can't buy it himself? Why are you paying for his stuff?" I bought it because I wanted him to have it, regardless of his ability to buy it himself or not. When a man buys something for a woman it's, "That's good. He should be buying you stuff. He should be spoiling you." Sorry, but men deserve some pampering too. 

[Luna Bliss]

26 minutes ago, Rosaline Spiritor said:

So it's not ok for men to make jokes because you believe there's some underlying truth to it...but how many of you have joked about men in a similar manner? You'd be lying if you said you never have. As someone pointed out, if the roles were reversed and this was a topic based off a woman commenting about a man, I doubt you all would be arguing against it, like you are here.

Do we really need to have the 'straight pride' and 'white pride' that is manifesting in society?  No, because whites and straight people have typically not been oppressed by blacks and gays.
While I might personally take care not to stereotype men, I do understand that it is far, far worse to stereotype a segment of society that has been oppressed -- women have been oppressed throughout the ages, denigrated and treated as property. All types of stereotypes have been thrust upon them -- this is a means of control -- the way the powerful control the weaker.
We need to take care not to perpetuate these stereotypes.

[Erwin Solo]

ad hominem 

1 hour ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

With "defenders" like you, Rosaline, Erwin hardly needs critics.

 

[Rosaline Spiritor]

I'm sorry, but as a woman, I don't feel oppressed. I have been given the same opportunities as men. I have made more money than my male co-workers in the same position as me. I have been in positions where I outranked men in the workplace. I have the right to vote. I have the right to make decisions for myself. I'm not oppressed at all. I am not controlled by a man.