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< nurturing sadness, but with no love lost xx

Who I am has to remain an honest, protective, loving filter.

A question for those who enjoy questions:

What are your personal limits that you cannot compromise on without losing your sense of self in a relationship?

All serious, sweet, silly answers are especially welcome x

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I have to be insecure and emotional otherwise I quit being me.

Oh, and vane.

And manupulative

But otherwise I'm a sweetheart

 

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- I will not abandon my friends. If you make me choose, you’ll find there’s no place in my life for anyone who makes me choose.
- My avatar will remain the way I like it. If you didn’t, you had your chance to skip me and find your perfect doll elsewhere.
- If you have someone somewhere, keep her. It’s not so much jealousy as practicality: I just can’t function in permanent, hot stand-by for a quickie whenever she’s not around. One love at a time.
- My beliefs are mine. I don’t mind ’em challenged, I even welcome it, but better do it upfront. I have a tendency to drop grenades on garden paths.
- I’m not a f*cking charity. I happen to be rather generous, but on my own terms. Don’t ever ask.

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11 hours ago, Ren Toxx said:

- I will not abandon my friends. If you make me choose, you’ll find there’s no place in my life for anyone who makes me choose.
- My avatar will remain the way I like it. If you didn’t, you had your chance to skip me and find your perfect doll elsewhere.
- If you have someone somewhere, keep her. It’s not so much jealousy as practicality: I just can’t function in permanent, hot stand-by for a quickie whenever she’s not around. One love at a time.
- My beliefs are mine. I don’t mind ’em challenged, I even welcome it, but better do it upfront. I have a tendency to drop grenades on garden paths.
- I’m not a f*cking charity. I happen to be rather generous, but on my own terms. Don’t ever ask.

That pretty much covers it with a small addition to that last one. Don't ask because the last person who did, decided to use the $500 USD+ as payment for a debt that was someone else's, not mine. With $300 of that being interest. Kid best stay far away from me if he doesn't want it taken out of his hide.

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Depends if you are talking real life vs secondlife.  I am a lil bit more lenient on what my partner would do in SL than RL.  If i found my partner cheating on me in real life then its done between us.  In secondlife I like open relationships with a few rules that way my partner can do her own thing when I am not logged in.

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14 minutes ago, ballparkdogg said:

When I am not logged in.

That is the key really, if someone is not logged into SL they do not exist in SL, where just because my guy is not around me in RL, does not mean he has ceased to exist. In RL he can call me anytime he needs to talk, but if I am not logged on I am totally unavailable to the people in SL.

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When my relationship stands by me, like I stand by my relationship, I know we both are practicing that courage and love that make each other feel whole in the relationship.  

The opposite would be "saying one thing and doing another" or "not saying the whole truth out of fear" or some variation of these.  If I am going to feel whole, it's because my relationship stands by me. And I give that in return.

Sometimes that means saying uncomfortable things or hearing uncomfortable things.  But 100% of the time it means standing by each other and not sitting down til the uncomfortable things are gone and the good things are back again.  

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On 5/6/2019 at 11:22 AM, Ren Toxx said:

- I will not abandon my friends. If you make me choose, you’ll find there’s no place in my life for anyone who makes me choose.
- My avatar will remain the way I like it. If you didn’t, you had your chance to skip me and find your perfect doll elsewhere.
- If you have someone somewhere, keep her. It’s not so much jealousy as practicality: I just can’t function in permanent, hot stand-by for a quickie whenever she’s not around. One love at a time.
- My beliefs are mine. I don’t mind ’em challenged, I even welcome it, but better do it upfront. I have a tendency to drop grenades on garden paths.
- I’m not a f*cking charity. I happen to be rather generous, but on my own terms. Don’t ever ask.

Just this...^^^^^^^^^^^ is all!

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I have the perfect one for me, but I'll answer. Its pretty simple.

The relationship has to be real. Yes, the one I have is with somebody I've never met. Its a long distance relationship (of 10 years). But if the existence of the relationship is dependent on my online status, it ain't happening. I've said it before and I'll say it again, even though I know some won't like it. The number 1 cause of breakups in Second Life is the formation of a purely Second Life relationship. Be in love with the person you're with, not with the fact that you have one on your arm.

SL IS RL. Its ok if you wish to treat it as separate, I'm not judging. But spending time in SL is no more removing yourself from RL as spending time on youtube, Facebook, or anywhere else that requires you to sit in your chair and get online.

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On 5/6/2019 at 3:22 AM, Ren Toxx said:

- I will not abandon my friends. If you make me choose, you’ll find there’s no place in my life for anyone who makes me choose.
- My avatar will remain the way I like it. If you didn’t, you had your chance to skip me and find your perfect doll elsewhere.
- If you have someone somewhere, keep her. It’s not so much jealousy as practicality: I just can’t function in permanent, hot stand-by for a quickie whenever she’s not around. One love at a time.
- My beliefs are mine. I don’t mind ’em challenged, I even welcome it, but better do it upfront. I have a tendency to drop grenades on garden paths.
- I’m not a [expletive] charity. I happen to be rather generous, but on my own terms. Don’t ever ask.

This pretty much sums it up for me also. Save the crossed-out part, because men will be men; just as I don't want anyone trying to change me, I won't try to change anyone else, either. As for friends with bedefits, er... benefits: sure. But be a friend, first and those don't happen overnight and absolutely are not managed by a stupid system name-misnomered list.

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The main ones for me are;

My partner should understand that I am in a committed long term relationship in RL, which means that our SL relationship cannot be taken out of SL. I don't mind sharing RL info but communicating out of SL (phone, skype, social media) is not going to happen.

My partner should not be solely dependent on me for happiness or entertainment. I have my own interests and friends in SL and I am not going to abandon them just so he can cling to me every minute that I am logged in. It feels too much like insecurity and codependency, and I don't want a partner who is insecure.

I am not going to change my avatar to suit anyone else's specifications. Heck, I change it at least once a day anyway, but telling me that my avatar should look a certain way is really saying he doesn't like my imagination. It would make me wonder why he got interested in me to begin with. Why didn't he start with someone he already thought was attractive?

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