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Hippie Bowman

SL Relationships. How real are they to you.

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It is real to some. Depends on how you perceive things. It doesn't take desperation to fall in love with someone online/Sl for that matter,

I met my current real life wife In 2006 In SL. We got together as a couple in SL and created a life and a business together. During the first year of us meeting we developed one hell of a solid relationship. Of course I had to search a bit to find the right one.  It can happen. After a year of being together in SL, we decided to meet in person. Sparks flew on that special day,

I spent a week with her in her state, and did not want to go back home.. Needless to say, after that 1 week visit, we said okay. Lets do this. So, we sold our First SL business (Phat Cats) to generate moving money ( I had to move 2,000 miles from my home and move my RL business ) It has been an awesome experience.

We are now married and been together in Real life for 4 years now and have successfully created a second Business in SL .. wewt

 

Never been happier :)

 

 

 

 

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Dilbert Dilweg wrote:

It is real to some. Depends on how you perceive things. It doesn't take desperation to fall in love with someone online/Sl for that matter,

I met my current real life wife In 2006 In SL. We got together as a couple in SL and created a life and a business together. During the first year of us meeting we developed one hell of a solid relationship. Of course I had to search a bit to find the right one.  It can happen. After a year of being together in SL, we decided to meet in person. Sparks flew on that special day,

I spent a week with her in her state, and did not want to go back home.. Needless to say, after that 1 week visit, we said okay. Lets do this. So, we sold our First SL business (Phat Cats) to generate moving money ( I had to move 2,000 miles from my home and move my RL business ) It has been an awesome experience.

We are now married and been together in Real life for 4 years now and have successfully created a second Business in SL .. wewt

 

Never been happier
:)

 

 

 

 

Aww!  Your story is so far out!  So glad you two are happy and together!  Thank for sharing here!

 

Peace!

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i guess for me it is simple.  I will not get involved with someone online, regardless if it is SL or another virtual medium, without making it very clear that when i "date" it is Online Life/Real Life.  There is no gray area. 

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AmbrosialBliss wrote:

i guess for me it is simple.  I will not get involved with someone online, regardless if it is SL or another virtual medium, without making it very clear that when i "date" it is Online Life/Real Life.  There is no gray area. 

Good policy Ambrosia!  Thanks for sharing here!

 

Peace!

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Yes, SL relationship for me matters a lot, I care about people that I never saw "for real".

 

Some of my best friends  from SL I bring to my RL , I meet some in person.

 

My SL husband is since 2009 my RL partner.

 

No matter if you see only pixels, there is a human behind the av you need to respect.

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Isabelli Anatine wrote:

Yes, SL relationship for me matters a lot, I care about people that I never saw "for real".

 

Some of my best friends  from SL I bring to my RL , I meet some in person.

 

My SL husband is since 2009 my RL partner.

 

No matter if you see only pixels, there is a human behind the av you need to respect.

Thank you for sharing here Isabelli!

 

Peace!

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Cali Souther wrote:

me&madinevariver1.pngmadi&snoop4picframe.pngPannieswithLillie&friends.jpgcaliandGinger.jpg

 

 

 

SL / Online Relationships are very real to me.  :-)

With me too Cali!  Thank you for sharing!

 

Peace!

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Not real at all :(  SORRY!!!  I am one of those people who look on SL as just a game, albeit a really nice game of a virtual life, though I do acknowledge that others treat it in various levels of reality. I don't play SL to meet anyone in RL and I never even feel it necessary to disclose RL information at all though if someone asks I usually do, to a point, just not to be impolite. I do state this in my profile but people choose to ignore it. I think that there should be "categories" of SL avatars, that is, they should be distinguished by some sort of sign, perhaps in their profile, showing their reason for being in SL. Those who join SL with the desire to meet others for an RL friendship/relationship and those who do not wish to meet people in RL. There may be other reasons but these I think are the main two.

I personally try to "keep SL in SL". My ideal SL would be devoid of all RL talk. Avatars would "live" how we wish them to  live and "love" how we wish them to love. After all, it's all pretend whilst you're in this "game". Of course it is. Who have you ever known to fly, teleport, to walk through solid matter, completely change their appearance at will, stay underwater for hours or even live without eating, sleeping or going to the toilet? Face it! It's a pretend world. Having said that, you can make it how you want it to be. but if you choose to get involved emotionally with someone you have no idea about then you should be mature enough to know what the consequences could be. I have had SL relationships - relationships between two avatars - and when things don't work out I sometimes feel disappointed but never to the point of being "hurt" because it's all pretend. I can switch the pc off, come back the next day and start all over again without bothering.

It's so easy when it is treated like what it is, a game. But when I  (my avatar) meet someone else and strike up a friendship in SL I do enjoy it in a vicarious way. It can also be vivid enough to arouse emotions though I feel some of the "erotic" emotions are autostimulated - because we want to. I have experienced some very pleasant emotions in such instances but I have never yet got to the stage where I would want to meet them in RL because of it or grieve over the loss of another "player" in SL

Of course there's another real person driving the other avatar. There has to be otherwise we have no SL. But each has to decide how far they want to take it. For my own way of thinking, if I wanted to make a friend in RL I would go out in RL to meet them, not sit indoors at the computer hoping that I meet someone compatible in SL. There are so many RL love or friendship search sites and chat places. Why look for an avatar? Lack of confidence in RL? I don't know the answer. But I am still very happy to carry on playing the game and enjoying the vicarious living. I hope you enjoy SL as much as I do. Thanks for reading :)

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Ruben Bunjie wrote:

Not real at all
:(
 SORRY!!!  I am one of those people who look on SL as just a game, albeit a really nice game of a virtual life, though I do acknowledge that others treat it in various levels of reality. I don't play SL to meet anyone in RL and I never even feel it necessary to disclose RL information at all though if someone asks I usually do, to a point, just not to be impolite. I do state this in my profile but people choose to ignore it. I think that there should be "categories" of SL avatars, that is, they should be distinguished by some sort of sign, perhaps in their profile, showing their reason for being in SL. Those who join SL with the desire to meet others for an RL friendship/relationship and those who do not wish to meet people in RL. There may be other reasons but these I think are the main two.

I personally try to "keep SL in SL". My ideal SL would be devoid of all RL talk. Avatars would "live" how we wish them to  live and "love" how we wish them to love. After all, it's all pretend whilst you're in this "game". Of course it is. Who have you ever known to fly, teleport, to walk through solid matter, completely change their appearance at will, stay underwater for hours or even live without eating, sleeping or going to the toilet? Face it! It's a pretend world. Having said that, you can make it how you want it to be. but if you choose to get involved emotionally with someone you have no idea about then you should be mature enough to know what the consequences could be. I have had SL relationships - relationships between two avatars - and when things don't work out I sometimes feel disappointed but never to the point of being "hurt" because it's all pretend. I can switch the pc off, come back the next day and start all over again without bothering.

It's so easy when it is treated like what it is, a game. But when I  (my avatar) meet someone else and strike up a friendship in SL I do enjoy it in a vicarious way. It can also be vivid enough to arouse emotions though I feel some of the "erotic" emotions are autostimulated - because we want to. I have experienced some very pleasant emotions in such instances but I have never yet got to the stage where I would want to meet them in RL because of it or grieve over the loss of another "player" in SL

Of course there's another real person driving the other avatar. There has to be otherwise we have no SL. But each has to decide how far they want to take it. For my own way of thinking, if I wanted to make a friend in RL I would go out in RL to meet them, not sit indoors at the computer hoping that I meet someone compatible in SL. There are so many RL love or friendship search sites and chat places. Why look for an avatar? Lack of confidence in RL? I don't know the answer. But I am still very happy to carry on playing the game and enjoying the vicarious living. I hope you enjoy SL as much as I do. Thanks for reading
:)

Good comments Ruben!  Thank you for sharing here!

 

Peace!

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Rafe Oakleaf wrote:

It's Real People in Unreal Situations, and that can really mess a human up.

Rafe, that may be the most concise description of SL (and warning) I've seen.

Hugs!

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I treat online relationships as real life ones. Both friendships and now romance. It is the same feelings involved so best to treat those with the same respect as "real life" experienced feelings. I felt just as sad when a friend quit sl as I did when a rl friend moved away. Though in rl I still can get in touch with my friend. This particular sl friend who quit does not mix sl and rl which is a bit of a shame. I will always wonder what happened to her.

 

But yes they are very real to me :)

web_5002bda64278ad0293000001.jpg

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Koltari wrote:

I treat online relationships as real life ones. Both friendships and now romance. It is the same feelings involved so best to treat those with the same respect as "real life" experienced feelings. I felt just as sad when a friend quit sl as I did when a rl friend moved away. Though in rl I still can get in touch with my friend. This particular sl friend who quit does not mix sl and rl which is a bit of a shame. I will always wonder what happened to her.

 

But yes they are very real to me
:)

web_5002bda64278ad0293000001.jpg


Thank you very much for sharing your story here Koltari! 

 

Peace!

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Oh wowie where do I start. This is a confusing topic for me.

SL is NOT RL for me. Yet my feelings are real. That seems like a contradiction perhaps so let me try to explain. I have a lot of imagination and creativity in me. When I am in SL I become Tasha. She is not RL me but trough her I can be myself yet at the same time be someone I cant be IRL. So ... still making sense?

SL is not a game but its an interactive novel to me.... a book with chapters. My character can fall in love with another character. But that does not mean I go divorce my RL husband and save money to travel across the globe. Here love is a whole diffrent thing. No dirty socks, no shirts to iron, no cap left off the toothpaste. I dont consider having a SL relationship as cheating. In fact: my RL man is in SL too :)

What happens in SL stays in SL and I started my journey making friends exploring places. a little romance here and there.... but I did not consider myself SL relationship material. I did get swept off my feet by a man I still have contact with on SL, but he made it very clear to me he is not the tree that bends to one single leaf. Although I love him as my super awesome friend I knew I would not have him alone. He kept me at a certain distance and I respected that. Still adore him to pieces...always will have a soft spot for him.

And then, trolling around some sim I met my current SL partner. He was fun,refreshing,I felt an immediate click, he makes me laugh so hard I literally cry and has the same dark sense of humor. Whenever his name shows online my heart jumps. We go on adventures together.... its one big blast and I would feel very sad IRL if this ends. Yet I dont think it will be a danger for my RL relationship. Him and I are both married and know where to draw the line. I think its similar to actors that play a role where they are in love. Once the cameras are off they still like eachother but more as friends.

 

 

 

 

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NatashaSteele wrote:

Oh wowie where do I start. This is a confusing topic for me.

SL is NOT RL for me. Yet my feelings are real. That seems like a contradiction perhaps so let me try to explain. I have a lot of imagination and creativity in me. When I am in SL I become Tasha. She is not RL me but trough her I can be myself yet at the same time be someone I cant be IRL. So ... still making sense?

SL is not a game but its an interactive novel to me.... a book with chapters. My character can fall in love with another character. But that does not mean I go divorce my RL husband and save money to travel across the globe. Here love is a whole diffrent thing. No dirty socks, no shirts to iron, no cap left off the toothpaste. I dont consider having a SL relationship as cheating. In fact: my RL man is in SL too
:)

What happens in SL stays in SL and I started my journey making friends exploring places. a little romance here and there.... but I did not consider myself SL relationship material. I did get swept off my feet by a man I still have contact with on SL, but he made it very clear to me he is not the tree that bends to one single leaf. Although I love him as my super awesome friend I knew I would not have him alone. He kept me at a certain distance and I respected that. Still adore him to pieces...always will have a soft spot for him.

And then, trolling around some sim I met my current SL partner. He was fun,refreshing,I felt an immediate click, he makes me laugh so hard I literally cry and has the same dark sense of humor. Whenever his name shows online my heart jumps. We go on adventures together.... its one big blast and I would feel very sad IRL if this ends. Yet I dont think it will be a danger for my RL relationship. Him and I are both married and know where to draw the line. I think its similar to actors that play a role where they are in love. Once the cameras are off they still like eachother but more as friends.

 

 

 

 

Oh Natasha!  That is so good!  Thank you for sharing here!

 

 

 

Peace!

 

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:womanembarrassed: wowie thanks! I just tried to put into words all the conflicting things I feel when thinking of SL relationships.

Sometimes when a thing happens in SL (like when I lost contact with what I thought was my bestie on here) I did blink away some tears. At first I thought that was weird but then I realized I would do the same when watching a reallly sad movie.

So basically, when I log on, I crawl into my avis skin and whatever happens to her I feel. Including the butterflies in my stomach. But I am realistic enough to not let it take over my RL.  Thats why I am happy me and my SL partner are both married IRL. It keeps us grounded. And we dont get to spend every night together, maybe 3 to 4 hours a week if we are lucky.  I don't know what he looks like IRL, and I dont want to know. When I read a good book I dont give a crap either what the author looks like, I picture the person in my head by how he is described. (so in this case how the avi looks)

 

 

 

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