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Adrielle4

Men Women differences in romance/erotic/arousal

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Posted (edited)

  What makes for the best or that is the most intensive feelings of arousal are often for both genders the feelings of at least some passion being present before the more intimate physical visuals even begin.   What is passion?  It is when there is some emotional connection that often may have been initially ignited by a more simple intellectual chat or understanding.  From more chat and flirting the emotional connection can deepen and some romantic or erotic feeling may already be in the works.  Passion comes when this build up is then paired with the physical.  It is the frosting on the cake and so very sweet.  It is the celebration of what is already present.  The physical pleasure is greatly magnified (by some only enabled) by this connection that is typically filled with attraction and some caring via the understanding or emotional connection.   So a guy may not value the deeper connection as much, just want something quick but even for many of these men, such doesn't compete with what is felt when there is passion.

  Before however we get to the best or 'the hottest',  gender differences to seem larger and well sometimes there seems to be a gulf.  A man may experience plenty of basic arousal ( though void of passion) from  his visual experience far greater than the typical woman.  This distraction or low level enjoyment he may run with and not make the efforts for more connection.  He may simply not see the reason for it or he may not be emotionally available-often already having a very close relationship.   A woman wants to feel arousal and greatly enjoys it but to get there, the visual does not quite serve her enough and she thus seeks more knowing or connection or simply something more.  She may also have discovered that should there be a great intellectual and emotional connection that the passion is so intense the physical erotic acts are robust.  That is she is aroused even with the guy fumbling about or well less than optimally sexually compatible.   The connection motivates both to make more effort in the bedroom as well there is desire to do so via the caring/concern present.

  She doesn't want to settle for playing around with animations which would be empty, and often maybe even only 1% of what she can experience should there be even a bit of passion.  In their voice exchange or video chat they pick up quickly on the others complimentary traits, the ying to the yang,  the strengths, the vulnerabilities, values, interests quickly related to, validation and compliments given and already some romantic flirtation. The fun is already begun.

How is this connection, important for both genders attained?  Well communication of course. What is the most efficient communication?  Well that would be in-person chat where the help of non verbal communication is present. What is second best?  That would be video chat.  What is next best?  That would be a voice chat where at least intonation, emphasis, cadence and other qualities of the voice greatly aide.  And lastly email, instant message and other text chat -this is composed only of 7% of communication in a person to person and takes far longer and may never reach the quality attained by the other means.  Interestingly in real life there is possible communication with only the visual and/or tactile without any words which could give connection equal to text.

What are the pitfalls ?   One person maybe avoiding or not open to a component necessary for this passionate romance and/or erotic experience.  For example, he sees this beautiful vision of a woman and imagines her in his bed.   While there is not much deep feeling (how could there be there's been little communication) the feelings of arousal are pleasant and he wants more.  He approaches her and before there is much connection via voice and perhaps only nominal text they attempt sex. She doesn't feel much connection, he cares only for the sex and doesn't bother asking about her preferences.  She is only responsive  to the singular animation or maybe none and does not put out much emote or anything as well she doesn't feel much.  She does not wish to be his passing entertainment.  Its just a visual play as well there's nothing else that is built up.  He may or may not be disappointed with the pixel sex he just got,  but oh my,  it could have been much greater.   She could feel used or bored and he has a 'meh' experience.  The potential may have been ruined or these two could use the experience as fun lighthearted way of getting to know each other using visual play.  They may then continue likely including a good voice chat to actually get  feel and understanding. Should positive feeling emerge and optimism with compatibility exist, next time they come to the bed with bit of passion, they far more likely  some erotic feelings and arousal and maybe even that all elusive precious romance.  How exciting!

 

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Edited by Adrielle4
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Wall-o-text essay and no summary is sad. Well, I did make it through the first sentence before deciding 'no time for this shi..." Does that make me male or female and is it erotic or not?

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Looks like someone just copied this text from a magazine and pasted it into this thread, attaching a sl pic to make it look like its somehow related to SL.
And instead of replying to her similar thread from last sunday where she also asked for "pitfalls", Adrielle just posts a new text wall.

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3 hours ago, Arduenn Schwartzman said:

I can't wait for the next episode, "Men Women dynamic in Gorean degradation/exploitation/trade".

Don't get me started.

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