My friend request

[MrsMancino]

Ooo I could use more friends  to chat to and do fun things with! However it seems like the effort isn’t there anymore. I always have to make the first move, I am always the one saying hello first and starting conversation. I wish to be friends with people who show the same drive and initiative as I do. Some people come on here advertising for friends and then three days later they stop talking.then they wonder why they can’t keep friends.people on SL lack what u call proper communication skills.if someone does not interest u anymore just tell them. After all the post was made to try and find  people you connect with and if you don’t connect that it’s only fair and just that communicate this.too often have I been a place holder on a persons friend list . I am a very talkative person online but in reality I’m very quiet as I find it rather easy to speak with persons online than it would be face to face due to my anxiety.when I requested to make friends I was hoping that the respondents would be people who feel the exact same way. I expressly stated that I’m looking to make lasting friendships. I’m not looking for a 10 minute text war with anyone. So I’m just making this post to say that in the future if I make any posts and u are not willing or u are not anything I’m looking for please do not contact me. Because I’m not trying to have a friend list for bragging rights! I’m simply and truly a genuine person who is looking to make a few friends!

[Orwar]

   People frequently bring up how, if you fail to talk to them frequently enough, you won't last on their contact list. People often complain about it, that others don't put in enough effort which makes them appear uninterested. Personally I don't recognise that as an issue - I can go weeks or months without talking to an individual, and still value the times we do chose to engage in meaningful conversation. To try to force a 'friendship' through incessant exchange of non-content however, is something that I personally find extremely annoying; people who every day say 'hi' and 'how are you' or 'what are you up to' and then fail to follow up on it just feels pretentious. People who do that are much more likely to come off my list, than people who stay silent for a month and then engage me in a conversation where they don't just spurt out formalities dictated by social convention.

   Now, to be blunt, I do find your effort in writing a bit lazy, which is something that would make me overlook you - full stops without spaces, lower-case following full stops, abbreviating three-letter pronouns; of course, people may have their reasons such as English not being their first language or having dyslexia, but English isn't my first language either, to me that just means I'll have to put a bit more effort into communicating in a proper manner. In the end, I don't expect everyone to conform to my expectations of communication standards. The content of the conversation is ultimately more important than the manner in which it is conveyed, but then they had better have something interesting to say. I'm not going to cultivate an emotional connection with someone who doesn't share their thoughts and ideas. If all I wanted was for there to be a bit of text greeting me and asking me how I am doing today, I'm sure I could figure out a way for my smartphone to do so.

   So. If you're looking to make lasting friendships, perhaps don't get so hung up on the frequency of which a person wants to communicate, but rather what they wish to communicate and what you yourself contribute to a conversation with them. It takes two people to build a friendship, after all.

[Scarlett0Hara]

Foo Foo. Orwar is right!

[Talligurl]

Yes he is, I have hundreds of people on my list,  and  each one of them i have had a good experience  with and expect to do so again,  we may go months between those experiences, but if i drop them after a  month  the next time  wont come at all.  

[Yaiza Galicia]

On 4/14/2019 at 9:36 PM, Orwar said:

 Now, to be blunt, I do find your effort in writing a bit lazy, which is something that would make me overlook you - full stops without spaces, lower-case following full stops, abbreviating three-letter pronouns; of course, people may have their reasons such as English not being their first language or having dyslexia, but English isn't my first language either, to me that just means I'll have to put a bit more effort into communicating in a proper manner. In the end, I don't expect everyone to conform to my expectations of communication standards. 

You are kidding with this , right? I can’t believe real people choose their friends according to the level of language. 

[So Whimsy]

8 minutes ago, Yaiza Galicia said:

You are kidding with this , right? I can’t believe real people choose their friends according to the level of language. 

If someone can't be bothered to make an effort when chatting with someone, a lot of us can't be bothered to give that lazy person our time of day. Typo's happen, especially when someone is a non-english native speaker, however, there is a worlds difference between making an effort and just being lazy ...which quite frankly is rude.

Furthermore, a bunch of abbreviations make it that much harder for a non native english speaker to even understand someone.

I agree with Orwar 100%. Get that freaking text speak away from me.

I can't believe real people would think butchering a(ny) language in this way is okay.

Edited April 17, 2019 by Syn Anatine

[Orwar]

2 hours ago, Yaiza Galicia said:

You are kidding with this , right? I can’t believe real people choose their friends according to the level of language. 

   That's cute but, in context of what I wrote, irrelevant. If you look at the part of my post that you chose to quote, you'll find that there is plenty of room for people whose communication skills are hindered by various, sensible reasons; I brought up both it being a secondary language and dyslexia. However, there's a difference in being unable to spell 'discombobulation' off the top of one's head and - again, as specifically addressed - abbreviating three-letter pronouns through sheer, neglectful slothfulness.

   If you're able to be in Second Life, or on these forums, you've already ran out of excuses for such; there are dictionaries a few button-clicks away, and if you want to communicate in English, then it should be a priority to improve it. My English was far from perfect when I first got onto the Internet, and I still consider it fairly weak as it's nowhere near as good as my ability to wield my first language - I have fond memories of those times, of having a dictionary by my side to use whenever I needed it. I still do, on occasion (although these days it's usually a tab in my browser rather than a physical book); I may have the word 'durkslag' clear enough in my mind, but what the hey are those called in English? 'Colander'! Duh?

[Yaiza Galicia]

7 hours ago, Syn Anatine said:

If someone can't be bothered to make an effort when chatting with someone, a lot of us can't be bothered to give that lazy person our time of day. Typo's happen, especially when someone is a non-english native speaker, however, there is a worlds difference between making an effort and just being lazy ...which quite frankly is rude.

Furthermore, a bunch of abbreviations make it that much harder for a non native english speaker to even understand someone.

I agree with Orwar 100%. Get that freaking text speak away from me.

I can't believe real people would think butchering a(ny) language in this way is okay.

Thank you for teaching me english! It's obviously we can't no be friends because my poor knowing about it. It's not my first language. Someday I can teach you some modals in change and not pissing people saying freak . With modals I guess you can make more friends...

 

Next!

[Yaiza Galicia]

4 hours ago, Orwar said:

   That's cute but, in context of what I wrote, irrelevant. If you look at the part of my post that you chose to quote, you'll find that there is plenty of room for people whose communication skills are hindered by various, sensible reasons; I brought up both it being a secondary language and dyslexia. However, there's a difference in being unable to spell 'discombobulation' off the top of one's head and - again, as specifically addressed - abbreviating three-letter pronouns through sheer, neglectful slothfulness.

   If you're able to be in Second Life, or on these forums, you've already ran out of excuses for such; there are dictionaries a few button-clicks away, and if you want to communicate in English, then it should be a priority to improve it. My English was far from perfect when I first got onto the Internet, and I still consider it fairly weak as it's nowhere near as good as my ability to wield my first language - I have fond memories of those times, of having a dictionary by my side to use whenever I needed it. I still do, on occasion (although these days it's usually a tab in my browser rather than a physical book); I may have the word 'durkslag' clear enough in my mind, but what the hey are those called in English? 'Colander'! Duh?

mm ok! can't say nothing else. We do not agree, but all opinions are respectable. 

[So Whimsy]

8 hours ago, Yaiza Galicia said:

Thank you for teaching me english! It's obviously we can't no be friends because my poor knowing about it. It's not my first language. Someday I can teach you some modals in change and not pissing people saying freak . With modals I guess you can make more friends...

 

Next!

I have no idea what you just said.

Also english is not my native language either, I was born, raised and still live in germany. English not being your mother tongue does not keep you from using a spellchecker or at least making an effort to be coherent.

With that said, I honest to god have no idea what you said up there.

[Jameson2001]

1 hour ago, Syn Anatine said:

With that said, I honest to god have no idea what you said up there.

Well said Syn.  Sometimes language and cultural differences do get in the way with understanding fellow Second Lifers, which can have an effect on having and keeping them as friends.  Translators sometimes can be a big help for friends who do not have the same native language.  However,  being an American,  I sometimes have difficulty understanding words and phrases spoken by my friends from England, or Australia!  It's just a reminder that SL is a big place filled with folks from all over the planet😀

[MrsMancino]

19 hours ago, Yaiza Galicia said:

You are kidding with this , right? I can’t believe real people choose their friends according to the level of language. 

I am very good at the English language. I got the highest GPA in my entire college. I  can write with all the punctuation in the world but for these people to assume that no one would talk to me based on a post is ridiculous. So far I have met some amazing friends who type just the same but when it comes to emails or professional things are very well with punctuating! My post actually brought me some amazing people so far! They are funny and very intelligent. One post does not determine who I am nor my education. But then again, this world is so very judgemental and it proves just how they operate. Meanwhile some of them on here  don’t know the difference between your and you’re, their, there and they’re and many others. I do admit I was lazy as eff when I typed that post but how dare  they assume that I am not smart.

Then again a lot of the responses are from people who are old and very shallow😂

[Skell Dagger]

8 minutes ago, MrsMancino said:

a lot of the responses are from people who are old and very shallow

Here we go again with using "old" as an insult. Bless your youthful heart; one day you'll be there yourself.

[So Whimsy]

25 minutes ago, MrsMancino said:

 

Then again a lot of the responses are from people who are old and very shallow😂

 

The irony of your statement is simultaneously hilarious and shocking.

[Orwar]

20 minutes ago, MrsMancino said:

I am very good at the English language. I got the highest GPA in my entire college.

   That statement is what one would refer to as an appeal to authority - argumentum ab auctoritate - "I have my grades to back up my claim to being proficient in English - therefore, you must accept my English as proficient". It could also be argued to be a false equivalence, as your grade and your performance aren't actually the same thing. Either way, it's a logical fallacy.

   I don't doubt your ability to form complete sentences - you just did - but how does that change the fact that some people (as evident by the thread) find slothful negligence of communication unappealing?

   To be honest, it feels as if the focus of the topic is going somewhere that usually leads to a thread lock; you're taking it personal, people start applying emotional filters to what is being written, argumentation being reduced to ad hominem.

58 minutes ago, MrsMancino said:

Then again a lot of the responses are from people who are old and very shallow😂

   Like, what exactly do you think you would achieve with that blatantly ignorant statement? Which, by the by, is yet another logical fallacy. Whether I, or anyone else, is 'old' is wholly relative, and again, irrelevant; it's just your prejudice against old people.

[Jameson2001]

  

I am wondering if calling someone old and shallow is an oxymoron?  Anyway, the computer is meant for everyone to use of all ages.  Yes, some of our technical skills may not be as savvy as younger users but we all have a right to make fools of ourselves😀

[MrsMancino]

This is rather humorous now lol @Orwar I love ur attention to detail so much omg! It’s so touching! I am indeed so blessed! Queen waves as I can also chose to be petty and type long ass responses or I can be just as petty! Hahaha all the offended ones awwwww!!! Hahahahah made my day today! Stay blessed !!!😂😂😂😂😂. PEACE!!!

[Skell Dagger]

1 hour ago, MrsMancino said:

Hahaha all the offended ones awwwww!!! Hahahahah made my day today!

Pissing people off makes you happy?

On 4/14/2019 at 3:44 PM, MrsMancino said:

I expressly stated that I’m looking to make lasting friendships. I’m not looking for a 10 minute text war with anyone.

And yet here you are, insulting "old people" just for a laugh. Tell me: what do you regard as "old"? I'm genuinely curious at what age you consider people to be unworthy of respect.

[So Whimsy]

3 hours ago, MrsMancino said:

This is rather humorous now lol @Orwar I love ur attention to detail so much omg! It’s so touching! I am indeed so blessed! Queen waves as I can also chose to be petty and type long ass responses or I can be just as petty! Hahaha all the offended ones awwwww!!! Hahahahah made my day today! Stay blessed !!!😂😂😂😂😂. PEACE!!!

You'd think someone with the supposed highest GPA in their college would be more mature.  Unless of course the entire college was made up of moron's which would place you just slightly above one. Congrats I guess?

[Rhonda Huntress]

OMG, I needed a good laugh. 

 

Thanks all.

[VaelFaye]

Well, that was a thing.