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Are you a good conversationalist?

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8 minutes ago, Lindal Kidd said:

Wasn't Toronto the Masked Man's faithful companion?

tonto.thumb.png.03edec4ebc9be53d9b3374201b92433a.png

No, no, he WAS the masked man, but also a lackey companion, who was better than the He-No-Slobby guy. No, wait, I think Toronto says that, right?

Kato_(Bruce_Lee).png

 

 

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29 minutes ago, Lindal Kidd said:

Wasn't Toronto the Masked Man's faithful companion?

tonto.thumb.png.03edec4ebc9be53d9b3374201b92433a.png

Harold Jay "My name is Tonto. I hail from Toronto and I speak Esperanto" Smith is his name. Silverheels was a stage name. He found the role of Tonto to be distasteful.

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46 minutes ago, Selene Gregoire said:

Harold Jay "My name is Tonto. I hail from Toronto and I speak Esperanto" Smith is his name. Silverheels was a stage name. He found the role of Tonto to be distasteful.

Oh, this is cool! I had no idea he was from the Six Nations!

And yeah, it's hardly surprising he found the role distasteful.

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27 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Oh, this is cool! I had no idea he was from the Six Nations!

And yeah, it's hardly surprising he found the role distasteful.

He was Mohawk, yes. 

That line was from a sketch that was featured on the 1973 album Here's Johnny: Magic Moments From The Tonight Show.

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What's a conversation?  Is it that thing where one starts talking non-stop at another person for what seems like eternity (to any sane-minded person), about something not terribly interesting, but described with great enthusiasm and in fine detail such as a dream one might have had the previous night of one's 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Clark, dancing with a leprechaun and a gorilla where eventually the other person manages to elbow in and start his/her own monologue, but as he/she talks one tunes into: "hum-dee-hum-dee-hum-dee-hum" in ones head until finding the opportunity to cut them off and continue?  Just wondering.

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46 minutes ago, Nacy Nightfire said:

What's a conversation?  Is it that thing where one starts talking non-stop at another person for what seems like eternity (to any sane-minded person), about something not terribly interesting, but described with great enthusiasm and in fine detail such as a dream one might have had the previous night of one's 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Clark, dancing with a leprechaun and a gorilla where eventually the other person manages to elbow in and start his/her own monologue, but as he/she talks one tunes into: "hum-dee-hum-dee-hum-dee-hum" in ones head until finding the opportunity to cut them off and continue?

Yes!

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I wasn't. And if I don't pay attention I talk mostly about myself, and try to one-up whatever anyone else says.

But I learned two things that make me seem like a good conversationalist:

(1) Get other people to talk about things they are interested in. I learned this one in a conversation with a very clever woman. We had dinner together, and afterward I felt like it was a really GREAT conversation -- but when I thought back on what was actually said, I realized that she kept getting me to talk more and more about stuff that I'm interested in. Note that I don't say "get them to talk about themselves" which gets to the second thing:

(2) Don't ask a bunch of questions, especially personal questions. Try to talk about STUFF, whatever that is. I learned that from a very irritating guy I worked with who always used to stand too close and ask endless questions. I always felt that I was being interrogated, which was very unpleasant.

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1 hour ago, Lindal Kidd said:

No!

Let's discuss.

a) I don't know.

b) I don't care.

c) You can't make me.

d) All of the above.

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Depends hugely on whether the conversation happens naturally—i.e, if there really is something to talk about.

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If you fall into one of these categories then yes, else no (I am thinking "Make Conversation" applies too often in SL):

Oxford definition of conversation in English:

conversation
NOUN

A talk, especially an informal one, between two or more people, in which news and ideas are exchanged.
‘she picked up the phone and held a conversation in French’
mass noun ‘the two men were deep in conversation’

Phrases
make conversation
Talk for the sake of politeness without having anything to say.
‘we sat together, trying somewhat stiltedly to make conversation’

Origin
Middle English (in the sense ‘living among, familiarity, intimacy’): via Old French from Latin conversatio(n-), from the verb conversari (see converse).

Pronunciation
conversation/kɒnvəˈseɪʃ(ə)n/

Hahahaha

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Well, that definition is fine until you put the stress on the wrong syllable:

Converse

NOUN

1A situation, object, or statement that is the reverse of another or corresponds to it but with certain terms transposed.

‘if spirituality is properly political, the converse is also true: politics is properly spiritual’

ADJECTIVE

Having characteristics which are the reverse of something else already mentioned.

‘the only mode of change will be the slow process of growth and the converse process of decay’

Origin

Late Middle English: from Latin conversus ‘turned about’, past participle of convertere (see convert).

Pronunciation

converse

/ˈkɒnvəːs/

--------------

All of which explains why so much conversation (especially between men) involves a back and forth volley of verbal one-upmanship.  ("You think that's bad?  One time my buddy and I drank a whole gallon ... ")

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Being a good conversationalist comes down to one thing: knowing who you’re talking to.

Someone who talks a lot isn’t necessarily a good conversationalist. They just....talk a lot. Someone who is quiet isn’t necessarily a bad conversationalist. What you’re talking about might not be interesting to them or they may feel they have nothing to say or add.

A good conversationalist knows when to talk and when to listen. Also what cues mean. That’s going to be a little difficult in textual conversation, but they exist.

Conversation is a dying art, but it’s something we all can strive to be better at.

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I like the word conversationalist like all words ending with ist.  Populist capitalist comunist dramatist.

If I am good at conversationalist : depends of other. I imagine the question is about SL. One to one is much more easy as I can concentrate on only one person and listen to only one person. Sometimes it is easy and leads to really interesting discussion. Sometimes I ask closed question (yes/no) but actually I want a developped answer and I have : yes !!!

Always ask question with HOW you need to explain a little bit more but even with that interogatif word sometimes people answer 'good' !!!!

I must say that in SL talking with stranger is much more easy that in RL but often I am the only one who talk. People don't want to talk. And politly answer the minimum when I want they share theire values dreams or future hope.

As a non english I like conversation like jazz music. I mean I like to talk many topics mixt in the same time. I talk always with short sentences but more often. I hate monologue. But that is just cultural

 

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On 4/10/2019 at 7:02 PM, paragonfanfare said:

Nope, I pretty much suck at it, unless I'm with someone I really click with.

And more people for me generally means more anxiety.    Even if I know the other participants well, the more people there are the less I have to say.

Same 🙂

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Posted (edited)

Me: "Gemini, what do YOU think" ^^? Me: "Well it all depends upon the rate of metabolism of the...............................blah.....................................blah................................................................blah.....................................rah.................................................................rah....................rah..................................................................rah................................................................................. Know what I'm sayin ? *woodywoodpecker laff!

Edited by Maryanne Solo

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Am I a good conversationalist?

No.

Adequate, maybe. But that depends on other people, the setting, and the situation.

In RL and SL I have a tendency to keep to myself, so I don't generally go out of my way to approach people for the sake of striking up a conversation. If our paths cross and I have something to say, I'll say it. Or if I think it might cause offense I'll just keep it to myself and we'll go about our days without much interaction at all. If people wait for me to start a conversation (or solely sustain it) then they should get used to silence.

I do have a few close friends that I talk to regularly, though we have enough common interests to give us all something to talk about. If I get an IM saying something along the lines of 'hi sexy hru? u r hot. where u from?' then I generally don't answer. Because my eye is twitching at the sheer effort it takes to restrain myself from throwing a dictionary back and telling them to use complete words at least... I don't log into SL to feel like someone's parent or teacher. And at the risk of sounding like a snob, if someone can't take the time to write something legible and at least semi-relevant then I'm likely to be just as generous with my time right back - and give them silence in return. 

The flip side of that is the uber-intellectuals that throw such overwhelming walls of text that I start feeling like a student. Brains are sexy, no doubt about it. But it's just another form of flexing than I can do without. I have a lot of time for people who are laid back, non-invasive, and don't need to be constantly entertained. Those who don't take 'busy' as a personal rejection, or just message with 'Hi' and wait for me to start the proverbial ball rolling. Get the point while I'm still young enough to pay attention, or find someone else to talk to.

So the abbreviated version of the original question should probably be; Maybe, but that depends on you. 😏

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No. I obsessively analyze everything before I say it and it causes me so much anxiety! That's why I initially got sucked in to SL. I can write my words and edit them over and over before anyone hears them. The funny part is, I do very little editing most of the time in SL.

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