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Lureo

How do you manage your friends list

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My friend list is pretty easy to manage since its quite short. Not necessarily because I don't like a lot of people, but I'm a "oh, i cant send a friend request after just meeting someone, they must think I'm a desperate creep" type of person, and probably the friendly people I meet are the same. So I usually end up feeling bad for not sending a friend request after the conversation ended.

The managing I do is sometimes deleting people I have not talked to a lot and that were not really close to start with. Happened more often when I ran a business, now not so much.

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I have one rule: If you offer I ask why. If you give me a good enough reason, then okay. If all I ever get is "online" and "offline" messages with nothing else for five days then I prune quickly and ruthlessly. Forumites notwithstanding because I count Forums as "contact" also. :)

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I hate friends lists, just last night I had a guy tell me he 'demands' friends are on his friends list, as it's more convenient *for him*

I have just under 20 I think, but prefer only those I consider to be friends, and who actually act like it

I remove people all the time

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I know this is not the right place to make this suggestion because any improvement has been made in sl for long time

But it would be nice ot have a kind of contact list not friend list.  We can keep the contact in our directory like we keep landmark.  We want to find a contact or talk with but it is not really a friend

Personaly the majority of my contacts list are only contact not friend.  sometimes I start the talk and it ends after 2 sentences. That means that he or she has no motivation to share things with me. this contact I would like to delete but I had in the past a very good connection and I dont want to loose it.

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19 hours ago, Lureo said:

I know this is not the right place to make this suggestion because any improvement has been made in sl for long time

But it would be nice ot have a kind of contact list not friend list.  We can keep the contact in our directory like we keep landmark.  We want to find a contact or talk with but it is not really a friend

Personaly the majority of my contacts list are only contact not friend.  sometimes I start the talk and it ends after 2 sentences. That means that he or she has no motivation to share things with me. this contact I would like to delete but I had in the past a very good connection and I dont want to loose it.

You can request a Calling Card from anyone and/or give one, without doing the Friend thing.  While you will also have Calling Cards for each Friend, you can have them for people that are not Friends.  Take a look at your "Calling Cards" folder.

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On 4/8/2019 at 9:17 AM, Halo Minoptra said:

I always refuse friend requests from people I don't know, especially people who open by sending one.

I pretty much accept any friend request if I spent a little time with a person, but on subsequent logins I tend to turn off their ability to see when I'm online. If I don't run into them again after about a month, I delete them.

I'm a pretty friendly person, but I don't like people seeing when I log in and out, and I dislike finding that someone has started a conversation with me before I've even finished logging in. 

When I actually like someone, and hope to see them again, I tell them, "I'm sorry, but I don't like the friends list -- I'd rather run into you when I'm on this sim." That's the way it works in real life -- there are people you might see at work, or at the coffee shop. In RL, people don't see your name light up on a list when you wake up in the morning.  If they did, it would be very creepy, and that's how I feel about the friends list.

 

Oh they'll see you logging in and out anyway, even if you are in invisible mode. And it will irritate them because on their list it will show that you are offline, so they will assume you are hiding. Everyone knows about this option unless they are only couple days old in SL. 

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520 people on my friends list now. I rarely ask to add someone, people can find me from my groups if they want to anyway. I can find them through shared groups too. It can be nice to see them going offline and coming back, during a cruise it normally means they have suffered a crash and I can ask after them, if they need help to find a rezz area, but really I put next to no thought in to it. Life is too short.

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I'm ok to add people.. but if they havent messaged or been online in a week, i likely just delete them. I'm more apt to keeping a person on my list if i hang out with them every once in a while.. (which there arent many of those).. not through lack of trying.. they just arent ever online or available, or even Im back... lol 

why keep somebody on your list if they werent interested in being a "friend" right?

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I don't often ask. It's pretty rare that I do. One conversation does not a friend make, and nor do long silences where we've lost common interests. 

Currently my FL sits at about 20, and it's probably due for another purge very shortly. There's names on there I have known a long while but the majority fall into acquaintances category now. I don't mind if people remove me without letting me know. I don't get offended. The way I see it, people come and go from our lives for a purpose. If they've served theirs or some lesson has been learned and they've moved on, kudos. I've absolutely zero interest in collecting friends just for the sake of having them, or with little intention of ever speaking to them again. Beyond that, things change. People change. Circumstances change. It's a part of life. Just move on to the next chapter.

When it comes to random friends requests, I am not a fan. If we cross paths enough there's reason to initiate a FL invite. If it's just for a potential booty-call then friendship request denied (unless your avatar is extremely hot, and even then you'll only last if you have a decent attitude and something between your ears beyond air to boot).

Of course friendship is two-sided. I admit I should probably talk to people more, but it's a delicate balance. I don't want to burden people, but I also like my space. I expect others feel much the same way. So whether I delete or they delete, or we pick up where we left off, or never speak again, that's fine too. But I don't worry too much about it, I have enough to worry about in real life without adding to it here. 😊

 

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I have got almost 10,000 cos I heard that I will get a houseboat if I get to 10,000 by the end of this week 😀

 

OK I KEEP IT AT AROUND 20 REALLY

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I manage my friends list by not talking to them cause most people you meet talk to you for 1 day, add you, never speak to you again. So I just kinda keep them there on my list. I like the occasional surprise of "Who are you, how are you my friend, how did we meet?" conversations cause we haven't chatted forever. That's always fun.

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Honestly, with the vast majority of SL users just wanting to hit it and quit it, I had to lower my standards to add almost anyone I have 1-2 good conversations with, and if I'm very willing to chat them up again another day.

Usually, I end up not adding people I don't vibe with (when the conversation easily dies), or people who clearly don't show interest in talking a second time after they get what they want. It's difficult to find genuine people on there nowadays.

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On 4/5/2019 at 9:23 AM, Lureo said:

I am just curious. How to you manage your friends list. That criteria do you use to add someone. Do you make request or are you waiting for a friend request from others? what is your ratio (% of you ask and % of you accept) 50-50 or 10 - 90 or you always ask and rarely accept ?

Personaly I ask most of the time.

How long do you keep friends. Sometimes I check my friends list and see so many people I didn't talk for so long and I was thinking why do I keep it? I should delete it after a while if it (he or she) is not online or don't let message.

How many do you have.

I am just curious to know how do you do.,

I never ask.  I usually accept then quietly drop them in a day or two.  I have maybe 8 people on my friends list all together. After all, it is my Friends list, not my acquaintance list.

Yes, I know it makes me look like a narcissistic ***** but ... well, maybe I am.  I just have a hard time dealing with individuals.  I'm much better in a group.

 

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