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IvyLarae

Do IM conversation's die for you if you TP out?

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This is something I have dealt with, pretty much since I signed up on my main alt and its only seem to have gotten worse as the years go on

People who will IM you, not talk to you in local, but IM you to talk, then you TP out for whatever reason, whether it be go to shopping or something, then they act like they can't continue the conversation because they can't see you.... We're in an IM!? why does this happen so often, and it seems to be more of a growing problem than a shrinking one?! I understand sometimes you want them to be in the same room, but unless the place is packed, why not talk to me in local if your not gonna treat it any differently?!

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME? Because this is an issue that is only grown in the entirety of my residency on this platform?

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its their immersion factor,  some people treat im's like they are whispering to you in a public setting, once they leave,  they cant talk to you because they are not beside you.  it's how one of my friends explained it to me years ago.

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I often have the other problem.  After I have tp'd away from a place often some random person will IM me with "Hi!".

My .2cents here is that if my avatar is in the same place as other avatars and we are having a conversation, I tend to stay there until the conversation is done.  Mostly I would prefer this in chat but some people, usually in single person conversations, always want to privately talk in IM and not in chat no matter how much you express that you would prefer a public chat.  So I treat those conversations like they are chat and I tp away when I think it is done and don't really expect it to continue.  Of course, if it should it, then no problem assuming I am still happy to chat.

Also, it is different for me if an IM was initiated without being in the same place as the other avatar.  I don't have the same expectation then.

Edited by Gabriele Graves
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For me it depends a bit where and by who it happens, if i'm killing some spare time and just visit hang out places and after i left a while getting still a "hi" i'm mostly quite short and ask them to give a shout next time they see me. Most are ok with that, but not rare it's like it's not accepted "we can chat" .. "can we meet"... ehm no, i'm doing other things now.
This of course mostly happens with people you didn't meet before.
IM's out of the blue, nah.. if people think it's needed to IM randomly surrounding people, open a group or list to start IM people, i don't see it as bad to decline that approach.

It happens also sometimes somebody sees your name on the forums and starts asking questions. If i'm online i don't mind  to answer, if reasonable, but as soon it's offliners i'm mostly not going to dig up the names out of my emails and reply. Must say i prefer to keep the forums on the forums, when being inworld i'm having my own things to do, work or just have a relaxing time. Exceptions confirm the rules of course :)

It's sometimes a bit surprising people don't read, or even ignore, things said in the profile. For example i have  in my profile "I don't mind sharing info ...rl or sl, but will only talk about that with people who are close enough." .. and they start : how old, from where, single rl, pic, voice, have a home, facebook, email... and so on.... that's going to be a bye bye without many words.

IM's from friends are welcome anytime, no matter we'r visible, at the same location or 20 miles aways.

 

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It's manners.

If you left to do something else you've effectly said "welp, I've got some more important things to do".

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Some RPers have problems distinguishing between business and game... that said this special scenario never hapened to me so far.

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Some people don't like speaking to others using local chat, especially in a place where there are others and other conversations taking place, although sometimes not at all, really. Clubs are one of the worst with this, nothing like trying to converse with someone and gesturbators going off like lunatics (in other words, it's annoying as hell  for some of us). I respect folks that prefer one on one chat in IM, personally, but most especially in a place where there are multiple people. It is a far more polite manner of trying to converse one on one than to do so in local chat-for many people. 

When people stop conversing if you tp away, odds are pretty good they may well take your leaving as wanting to end the conversation as well. Sort of like when someone leaves a room while you're trying to talk with them, while you *might* continue talking, odds are just as good that you won't until they come back into the room (courtesy thing, or simply not wanting to raise one's voice to be heard in a different room).

I can honestly say, in all my years here, I have never seen things like this as anything remotely problematic, let alone increasing in frequency. If I did, had, or it was, I'd start to wonder what perhaps *I* might be doing to contribute to the problem, before I'd start complaining that everyone else was doing something wrong. But...that's really just me and how I look at most things, it may or may not apply to others. 

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35 minutes ago, Shudo said:

It's manners.

If you left to do something else you've effectly said "welp, I've got some more important things to do".

lol yes.. as if that will land good with some ... whaaaaat i'm not important?

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Most of my friends I don't see for weeks but we chat often using just IM without meeting. No problem wit that.

When meeting someone in world, either a stranger of a familiar person, I'm quite the same as you describe. As long as we keep talking I stay around and usually cammed on the person, because that person has my attention. When done talking I TP out and also end the conversation (not by just TP, but by saying bye, and TP), so I can put my focus on what I am going to do next, and so can they.

I do not talk a lot with "strangers" though lately, so most of the time its just IMing all over with friends. I prefer that way because its acceptable to not always respond right away, because we both know each of us are also doing other things.

It works both ways though, when me or the person I was meeting and chatting with TP's out I feel like not wanting to stalk that person by keeping IMing even though sometimes I would not mind if the conversation went on in long distance IM's :)

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One technical thing that's a real problem for SL as a social platform: If somebody sends IM text while you're teleporting, you will not see it during that IM session. If you're lucky, it may show up in your email after a while or possibly in some future login session. (I've even seen these mysteriously pop up months after the original session. No wonder some creators imagine that their IMs are "capped".)

Yes, I realize that this thread is all about the more subtle stuff of when folks intentionally choose to communicate, but there may be even more subtle, unconscious influences on our behaviour that develop with experience using this slightly crippled medium.

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4 hours ago, Shudo said:

It's manners.

If you left to do something else you've effectly said "welp, I've got some more important things to do".

I do this fairly often because of my business, I might be in one place working on textures on my computer, and I get to the point where I am ready to apply then in world and need to find a place I have Rez rights, I will let them know I still want to chat, and explain why I need to TP out. Even then the conversations sometimes die. But I find that those who have a genuine interest in me and my art will continue, sometimes even asking if they can follow me and watch, which I usually let them, unless it is something for a show that I want to keep secret till the opening. 

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I'm with Shudo, Tari, and Talli.

IMs have what I will term two social "modes".  Mode 1 is where you are in a crowded place, and in an IM with someone in order to keep the communication clear, or as a way of "keeping your voices down" and speaking privately.  Mode 2 is where you are not physically present with someone and are using IM in the same way you would call someone on the phone.

It can be seen as quite rude if you switch between modes without warning.  If I need to do so, in either direction, I'll let the other person know first...

Mode 1 to Mode 2: "I'm sorry, but I have an urgent help request from one of my tenants.  I have to go, but we can continue this conversation."

Mode 2 to Mode 1: "I can get a better idea of the problem if I can see it in person.  May I join you?" (send TP request)

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I sometimes wish I had that problem,but haven't had it happen that I can recall yet..

But then again,I don't RP so that may have a lot to do with it..

 

 

 

 

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I don’t make a habit of just tp’ing away from someone I’m talking to. That is kind of rude. I will tp away from someone that is being a creep or weirdo or someone that stops talking for an extended period of time (usually about 5-7 minutes)

Usually that happens when the person stops talking for a while....for whatever reason. In that case it is like I walked away from the conversation. Some people still get offended when they technically did it first. Then they start talking again after you leave. That’s kind of odd, not sure what that’s about. I have noticed a slight uptick on that.

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