Jump to content

Somebody loves me...


You are about to reply to a thread that has been inactive for 568 days.

Please take a moment to consider if this thread is worth bumping.

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 209
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

I always had my students make their cards in class, and they had to write something inside to the recipient, telling some behavior they appreciated about them -- and it could not be about appearance.

... but for some reason I don't think I'm the only one. Still a lovely gesture. Thank you to whoever sent it!    

My sentiment was that it was humiliating and devastating to know with complete certainty - at the very young age of five - that I was being rejected by my classmates. I was far too young to have

Posted Images

11 minutes ago, Bradford Mint said:

Lol, if you say so :) not a very constructive response though. You agree with chocolate covered Happy Purple Day though to replace Thanksgiving yes?

Let me put it quite bluntly.

I haven't agreed with anything you have said.

You can try dictating to other people how they should celebrate holidays etc but you can't force them to listen or follow your personal beliefs.

 

Edited by Selene Gregoire
Link to post
Share on other sites
On 2/24/2019 at 9:07 AM, Bitsy Buccaneer said:

Bradford, is empathy not your strong suit or are you so wedded to your ideas about Valentine's Day that you can't muster any for a tiny five year old child who received a crystal clear message that she was being rejected by pretty much her entire class? 

You may have me pegged there, indeed I'm thick skinned and pretty bullet proof in that respect and while some of my responses may appear curt, it's also because I'm replying on a phone so my ability and desire to craft paragraphs of prose with elegant quoting is truly limited.

You chose to feel rejected, I'd have figured they're all a waste of time and not worth bothering with in future.

Either approach is valid if you choose to validate it but only you can determine that path.

I need to create a meme 

"Make Valentine's Day Special Again"

  • Like 1
  • Confused 1
  • Sad 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, Selene Gregoire said:

Let me put it quite bluntly.

I haven't agreed with anything you have said.

You can try dictating to other people how they should celebrate holidays etc but you can't force them to listen or follow your personal beliefs.

 

Well, they're not *my* personal beliefs but widely documented traditions and just to reiterate yet again, Valentine's Day is NOT a holiday.

Google is your friend here.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Actually, Bradford hasn't looked in any way negative to me during this thread, and he can't make himself look worse, because the word 'worse' doesn't apply when you're on the up. He's been making good sense all the way through the thread. Some others haven't made a great deal of good sense though - imo, of course. In fact, I would say that some (not naming any names) have been arguing just for the sake of it - rather stupidly, imo.

Edited by Phil Deakins
  • Confused 1
  • Sad 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
11 hours ago, Bradford Mint said:

You may have me pegged there, indeed I'm thick skinned and pretty bullet proof in that respect and while some of my responses may appear curt, it's also because I'm replying on a phone so my ability and desire to craft paragraphs of prose with elegant quoting is truly limited.

You chose to feel rejected, I'd have figured they're all a waste of time and not worth bothering with in future.

I "chose"?

You really don't get it, do you?

Let's try it this way instead.

Geez Bitsy, that sounds like a really horrible thing to go through when you were so young.

Thanks, Bradford. It was. I didn't yet have the skills or insight to cope with it or anyone to help me learn them. Talking about this experience (which was one of many) has been good though. Several people here have given me support, which has been lovely and brought some kindness into the memory of very dark, bleak years. It's been really good to hear about things teachers like Pamela have done too. Thanks for bringing up the matter. If you hadn't, I wouldn't have spoken up and I wouldn't have received the support from others here.

❤️

Edited by Bitsy Buccaneer
  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
10 hours ago, Selene Gregoire said:
12 hours ago, Bradford Mint said:

Well, they're not *my* personal beliefs but widely documented traditions and just to reiterate yet again, Valentine's Day is NOT a holiday.

Google is your friend here.

 The more you try to insult my intelligence, the worse you make yourself look to others.

I think you’re smart, Selene. 

Oddly, I could swear the “feast of Saint Valentine” is a Roman Catholic Holy Day.  Maybe Bradford doesn’t know words have more than one meaning.

Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Oddly, I could swear the “feast of Saint Valentine” is a Roman Catholic Holy Day.  Maybe Bradford doesn’t know words have more than one meaning.

It may be what you described but, even if it is, to the world it is what Bradford described, where one individual shows (sometimes anonymously) another individual that they are special in a romantic way. It could be that the tradition is in the early stages of changing but it hasn't changed yet, and the silliness of 'all give all a card so that nobody is special' is what it says on the tin ... silly.

  • Thanks 1
  • Confused 1
  • Sad 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

This is a very perplexing thread. When I was little, I didn't try and fit in. I wasn't prepared to put myself in a position of possible rejection. Family was the absolute centre of our universe. Sure we played and had fun. I had friends. It didn't really matter if they came and went over the passage of time. We were deeply religious then, ensconced and shielded from such scenarios as mentioned by family & faith. I was a spelling and comprehension nutcase. Addicted to reading and writing to the point of obsession from the moment I realised words had value. These things combined allowed me to exist in my own little universe. I was never lonely. Animals, insects, birds, trees & flowers, then music. (hereditary, not learnt). I am extremely disheartened the teacher would put a child in such a risky position. I suggest the teacher was incredibly negligent to not forsee such a hurtful scenario might eventuate. -_- I am....(was?)..... *looks about & whispers...... roman catholic. I will also add, less than 8 hours ago, I coaxed a young student out of his own world, to attempt an exam, which he agreed to undertake quite reluctantly, (wanted to defer). I created a stress free environment, assisted when asked to, gave a smile here and there whilst not imposing and he topped the class. Inclusion is not a "given". It doesn't happen automatically. We tend to forget this. :S

Edited by Maryanne Solo
Added insanity - (religion).
  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

In my school we always brought Valentine's Day cards for everyone, and we received cards from everyone. I'm wondering if I attended some sort of progressive elementary school, or perhaps more elementary school teachers handle V Day in this same way than some imagine?
Perhaps it has something to do with being influenced by Hispanic culture and so would be more prevalent in the southern part of the US? (in Mexico they celebrate V Day as a day of friendship as they do in some other countries -- El Día del Amor y la Amistad, the "day of love and friendship." ):

" Celebrating Love and Friendship
Although the roots of Valentine's Day may be in ancient Rome, in Mexico the holiday is celebrated with joy and enthusiasm. February 14th is celebrated in Mexico as El Día de San Valentin, but it's more commonly referred to as El Día del Amor y la Amistad, the "day of love and friendship." Valentine's Day in Mexico isn't restricted to romantic love, it's also a day to show appreciation for friends. People give flowers, candies, and balloons to their romantic partners, but they may also give cards and gifts to their platonic friends as well."

https://www.tripsavvy.com/valentines-day-in-mexico-1588774

  • Thanks 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
20 hours ago, Bradford Mint said:
On ‎2‎/‎24‎/‎2019 at 3:07 AM, Bitsy Buccaneer said:

Bradford, is empathy not your strong suit or are you so wedded to your ideas about Valentine's Day that you can't muster any for a tiny five year old child who received a crystal clear message that she was being rejected by pretty much her entire class? 

You may have me pegged there, indeed I'm thick skinned and pretty bullet proof in that respect and while some of my responses may appear curt, it's also because I'm replying on a phone so my ability and desire to craft paragraphs of prose with elegant quoting is truly limited.

You chose to feel rejected, I'd have figured they're all a waste of time and not worth bothering with in future.

Either approach is valid if you choose to validate it but only you can determine that path.

Bradford, I don't think I've seen a more ridiculous paragraph on these forums, so you have indeed participated in and won a special honor in the competitive arena you are so fond of.
At 5 years old, children don't have the self-possession and skills needed to cope with severe rejection -- skills you are claiming you had at that age (unless they are psychopaths). I can only assume you are projecting back from your present self and imagining your younger self would be the same then as you are now. I really wouldn't mind if you want to go about your life in such delusion, but you are using this malarkey to accuse Bitsy of playing the victim and assigning blame to her for not having the wherewithal to choose wisely -- painting her as somehow deficient.
Perhaps if you put down the phone you mentioned and actually read a few books on child development you could understand that children are not mini-adults as most believed them to be in the middle ages. I suggest reading a few books on trauma as well, as it's obvious you have no clue how foisting too much on children before they are ready harms them.

Link to post
Share on other sites
8 hours ago, Bitsy Buccaneer said:

I "chose"?

You really don't get it, do you?

Let's try it this way instead.

Geez Bitsy, that sounds like a really horrible thing to go through when you were so young.

Thanks, Bradford. It was. I didn't yet have the skills or insight to cope with it or anyone to help me learn them. Talking about this experience (which was one of many) has been good though.

Bitsy, once again you demonstrate the healthy way to deal with pain -- when you get lemons then you make lemonade! How you would be seen as someone who is 'playing the victim' or somehow 'wrong' for experiencing rejection and being affected by it as a 5-year-old, or even now, is beyond me. Life is full of pain, and we only move through it if we acknowledge/feel it and overcome it, as you have. Sometimes there are scars, but this does not mean one has not overcome it.  Your reward was the gift of empathy :)
Your post reminded me of one of my favorite poems by Mary Oliver (recently departed):

“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”

― Mary Oliver

Anyway, in opposition to the healthy way you have chosen to deal with reality, there is some misguided myth out there, evidenced by people pretending to be tough and unaffected by the adversities encountered in life. While it keeps those perpetuating the myth believing they are in supreme control, in reality they exist in delusion, and I could make a case that this attitude is the supreme cause of the destructive predicament our world is in at this moment. "Boys don't cry", but they can be angry right? Boom Boom. Strange thing is, if you just feel the pain there's no need to become angry and destroy things.

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, Phil Deakins said:

It may be what you described but, even if it is, to the world it is what Bradford described, where one individual shows (sometimes anonymously) another individual that they are special in a romantic way. It could be that the tradition is in the early stages of changing but it hasn't changed yet, and the silliness of 'all give all a card so that nobody is special' is what it says on the tin ... silly.

It changed more than 50 years ago. Before I was even born. Do keep up.

Link to post
Share on other sites
You are about to reply to a thread that has been inactive for 568 days.

Please take a moment to consider if this thread is worth bumping.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...