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grants you a BJ but performed by a werewolf   (yeah I know I was just getting it on track, don't kill me ) I wish for more LI on my homestead

Granted! We're sending a bladerunner to retire you right now. I wish I could eat all the candy I want and not get cavities. 

Granted, you are an elephant with a USB storage stick where your brain should be. I wish for instant full rez everywhere I land.

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15 minutes ago, Marut72 said:

Granted. Frozen 2 is a good movie, you just learn that the world you once knew and understood has passed you by never to return. (insert tear here)

I wish  MOTHAFUQUEUR was a real fragrance and I want some for Christmas!

D1KmofgWsAIpjWw.jpg

Granted, but its literally just a bottle of Sams sweat after hitting the gym for 3 hours.. 

I wish i didnt have the diabeetus... 

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55 minutes ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

My daughter now wants to meet you inworld.. Preferably in a dark alley.. She says she has a surprise for you..  I think she really liked Frozen 2.. 

We'll have to disagree.  On the other hand, I liked Frozen so much that pretty much any follow on would've been a disappointment.

...starts carrying a flashlight, a screamer, and Mace in world, and sets her Environment to permanent Mid-Day.

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1 hour ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

Granted, but its literally just a bottle of Sams sweat after hitting the gym for 3 hours.. 

I wish i didnt have the diabeetus... 

Granted, you no longer have the diabeetus. In its place you have high blood pressure, IBS, and this weird rash that won’t go away.

I wish I could come up with a good gift for my sister in law. 

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16 minutes ago, Eva Knoller said:

Granted, you no longer have the diabeetus. In its place you have high blood pressure, IBS, and this weird rash that won’t go away.

I wish I could come up with a good gift for my sister in law. 

Didja have to throw in IBS? 

Granted, give her what everyone wants this year.. A Drake in the box.  Trust me, that is a corrupted wish..

I wish I spoke more than one language fluently.. While still being able to speak, type, read and write english fluently. 

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Granted, you now have native-level fluency in 5 languages of your choice...

...but simultaneously, so no one understands you at all.

I wish I was less of a procrastinator. I’m aware of the issue, I’ve made a very good plan and am trying to take steps improve but I just keep putting off...

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Granted. You're no longer a procrastinator. You now over plan things. You have 5 planners and 16 to do lists. I'm not even mentioning the multi coloured sticky notes!!

I wish I could have a deep dish pizza right now with pineapple. :)

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5 minutes ago, Lindal Kidd said:

I wish I didn't have pictures of carnivorous pineapples running around in my brain.

Granted, now it's carnivorous pineapples with human genitalia, massive lips and Gorean silks, dancing the bolero and farting. And you just lost The Game.

I wish I could do cartwheels.

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30 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:

I wish I could do cartwheels.

Granted, you can do them, but you also can’t stop doing them. Your family misses you as you cartwheel around the globe.

I wish my annoying coworker would stop yelling at her husband on speaker phone. It’s uncomfortable for everyone.

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Granted. You take the phone from her hand and walk slowly to the washroom. You pee and plunk the phone in the toilet. You say nothing and return to your desk as though nothing happened. 

When you return you notice that your phone is missing and that she was yelling at your husband. 

I wish I could read what mean things Lindal K. was thinking. 

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Granted, but they drive you insane and reduce you to gibberish, rendering your wits useless to us all and that’s such a shame!

i wish I had a good Feng Shui consultant locally to come asses the house personally and set up my zones perfectly. 

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3 hours ago, Eva Knoller said:

 

I wish my annoying coworker would stop yelling at her husband on speaker phone. It’s uncomfortable for everyone.

Granted but not a corruption, lol. 
Everyone in the office bands together and takes turns just making some kind of a distracting loud noise whenever this happens.

Edited by Fauve Aeon
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45 minutes ago, Fauve Aeon said:

Granted, but they drive you insane and reduce you to gibberish, rendering your wits useless to us all and that’s such a shame!

i wish I had a good Feng Shui consultant locally to come asses the house personally and set up my zones perfectly. 

Granted, but the consultant tells you that you'll have to jack up the whole house and rotate it thirty seven degrees clockwise.

I wish there was a wine that goes well with chocolate mint truffles.

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Granted, I actually know of a light and refreshing tasty Spanish sparkling wine, dry but not too dry. But you didn’t ask what it was so I drank it all myself. 

I wish my nails stayed fab 24/7 with no nail appointments. 

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2 hours ago, Amina Sopwith said:

Granted, but they're huge and you keep getting mistaken for a landing strip. On the plus side, you never need a tray when it's your round.

I wish I had a new bathroom.

 

 

Granted. It is an extravagantly detailed marble and gold-fixtured outhouse.

I wish the rain would stop and the days not be so short duding Winter.

Edited by Alyona Su
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1 hour ago, Marut72 said:

I wish I was better at making ethnic delicious food. 

Granted. You are now an expert at Monkey Brain Goulash, Deep-fried Tarantulas, and Roasted Rat.

I wish I could find a place that serves up home-cooked Russian Borscht, because that is some yummy sh*te!

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