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grants you a BJ but performed by a werewolf   (yeah I know I was just getting it on track, don't kill me ) I wish for more LI on my homestead

Granted! We're sending a bladerunner to retire you right now. I wish I could eat all the candy I want and not get cavities. 

Granted, you are an elephant with a USB storage stick where your brain should be. I wish for instant full rez everywhere I land.

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23 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

I wish it got dark earlier.

Granted, you are at the beginning of a six-month Antarctic winter of 24-hour darkness.

(I'm stuck in Gor. I'll swap places with you.)

I wish I'd remembered to buy shower gel earlier.

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10 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:

Granted, you are at the beginning of a six-month Antarctic winter of 24-hour darkness.

(I'm stuck in Gor. I'll swap places with you.)

I wish I'd remembered to buy shower gel earlier.

Granted, but it was mislabeled doggy-soap.

I wish Christmas would come faster.

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18 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Great, Gor hates furries.

Actually they do have a kind of Wookiee-like creature with none of the charm, fun, character or interest. It's called a Kack, or a Croak, something like that, I don't know, they're all pulled out of Usborne Phonics First Readers. There's a scene somewhere where a whole herd of them have what passes for a standoff with a bunch of Gorean Masters. It bores on for about 5000 pages, presumably because Norman reckons, probably correctly, that that's how long he can make it last before his average reader will work out that you can't use people as human shields if you don't actually secure them in front of you. 

I swear my brain still hasn't recovered. Reading Gor books is like giving yourself a lifelong hangover, only 12 times more painful and sickening. Kiddies, listen to my story and please don't be me.

Anyway, sorry. As you were.

10 hours ago, Lindal Kidd said:

I wish the IRS would self destruct.

Granted, but it's replaced with HMRC.

I wish my train wasn't late. 

 

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3 hours ago, Kimmi Zehetbauer said:

Granted, but your ticket just blew away!

Wish the Lotto would pay off!

Granted, but it was the person you've hated all your life since the third grade who won it, not you.

I wish I had unlimited free K-Cups from the Keurig store.

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23 minutes ago, Alyona Su said:

Granted, but it was the person you've hated all your life since the third grade who won it, not you.

I wish I had unlimited free K-Cups from the Keurig store.

Granted, now your used K-cups litter the countryside, taking up all available space.

I wish I had another wish.

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1 hour ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Granted, now your used K-cups litter the countryside, taking up all available space.

I wish I had another wish.

Granted, but it continuously loops as a wish for another wish for another wish for another wish for another...

I wish the freeway wasn't so crowded during commute times.

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4 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:

Granted, everyone including you has to walk.

I wish this hotel bed was more comfortable.

Oh, you're making it too easy...Granted!  But you oversleep and are late for your train.

I wish Maddy would wake up, get in here and set us all on fire.

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18 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:

Granted, they don't exist at all. 

I wish they had some nice biscuits in the little hot drinks tray thingy.

Granted, but that's all there is to eat and all the drinks are Luke-warm prune juice.

I wish I had a new, more comfortable chair to sit in while I surf the forums and region-hop in-world.

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1 hour ago, Lindal Kidd said:

I wish my Christmas decorations would put themselves up.

Granted but they were all designed by Waynetta Slob.

I wish I could get some sleep.

Edited by Amina Sopwith
Originally Pat Butcher but apparently she's not actually a terrible stylist, just big earrings. I don't know, I never watched it.
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