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grants you a BJ but performed by a werewolf   (yeah I know I was just getting it on track, don't kill me ) I wish for more LI on my homestead

Granted! We're sending a bladerunner to retire you right now. I wish I could eat all the candy I want and not get cavities. 

Granted, you are an elephant with a USB storage stick where your brain should be. I wish for instant full rez everywhere I land.

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40 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Solved, but it turns out to be a puzzle box from Hellraiser.

Wish I could read minds.

Granted but now you know what people really think

I wish everyone was at least as understanding as me

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1 hour ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Granted, but it enjoys "doing itself" a little too much and now all your clothes are threadbare.

I wish I live long enough to retire.

Granted, but you will outlive your retirement savings and inflation wipes out your last 10 dollars.

I wish my waifu pillow is a real person.

 

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55 minutes ago, Gregorian Chant said:

Granted, but you will outlive your retirement savings and inflation wipes out your last 10 dollars.

I wish my waifu pillow is a real person.

 

Granted, but they kill you by suffocation after a drunken stupor the same way the pillow would.

I wish I could unsee all the darkness I see in the world; a return to innocence.

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53 minutes ago, Alyona Su said:

I wish I could unsee all the darkness I see in the world; a return to innocence.

Granted, but you'll have to work your *ss off to build a big boat and gather all birds and beasts of the land, male and female, and keep the tigers away from the impalas and all the other nightmarish zoo sh*t that will keep you awake for 40 days and 40 nights.

I wish people would contact the person they paid L$ rather than the creator of the item they have a question about.

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5 minutes ago, Da5id Weatherwax said:

Granted. It no longer rains in Cornwall. Ever. The planet has warmed and the seas have risen. There is no Cornwall.

I wish I could come up with a wish worth having even when it gets corrupted.

Granted. Though the cost of that wish is your very soul and en expedited term of life.

I wish I were more creative in all the things I do.

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30 minutes ago, Marut72 said:

Granted but now you have to turn on CNN or FOX and get mad and negative about the world you live in. :)

I wish i could find a calorie free Chicago Pizza. 

Granted. But it's made of Papier Mâché with cardboard filler.

I wish to be carefree of all things stressful.

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