Jump to content
Emuna Zamani

Is Body-Shaming aThing in SL or Are Some Just Too Sensitive?

Recommended Posts

@ThorinII and maybe others. Snarkiness aside, and this is me asking out of genuine curiosity.  I've forgotten that I have a slightly higher than normal curiosity threshold when it comes to my fellow beings. But it's in odd places. For instance, if there is a disturbance outside, the likelihood that I won't even glance out the window is high. I am just not interested. On the other hand I'm fascinated by everyday conversations in public places. How people whose lives are interrelated behave with one another and what might that mean, etc. That's probably the writer thing.

Car accidents, people being pulled over, people fighting...zero interest. So probably, in this conversation, I've not made enough allowances for how people see things differently. Because honestly, hand on heart, for another avatar's proportions to trigger my interest is a rare thing.  Right now, as I sit thinking about why I don't feel the need to comment, I realize it's mostly because I'm just not interested. It's not that I'm a super special nice person.

When the curvier avatars first came out, it was note/comment-worthy because it was such change from the super skinny thing that was popular during my early days in SL. I know I must have commented to a friend. But it's impossible for me to fathom circumstances where I'd feel a need to mention it to the person. Again, not holding back, just not interested.

But my interest in other people is triggered by quite odd things, probably. Long way around to ask a question out of sincere curiosity.

What motivates you to address someone's appearance with them? What are you thinking/feeling/hoping to accomplish? That is if you feel like answering. No judgment. I think we all know where each other stands on the rightness or wrongness of doing so, so I won't be re-hashing that.

And not 'the person should expect/be okay with blank if they wear/are thus and so'.

But why do you feel a need to comment to them?

  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

I 'm not someone who talks behind another person's back about them. I rather address things with this person privately, so that I don't involuntarily make them feel slammed in front of others. Should someone have felt attacked by my posts here - sorry, but I can't know whether or not they fall under the category "caricature" without seeing them.

Why do I feel the need to comment/What I hope to accomplish? I think the closest reason is to make them rethink their choice of shape.
 I mean, nothing against having full lips - but those carp mouths I mentioned are a caricature-like exaggeration of full lips. Nothing against having a curvy avatar - but arses where a full-sized helicopter could land on, and pumpkin-sized breasts which you need "Lolas" or other items for are caricature-like exaggerations of being curvy. Nothing against a muscular shape - but those shapes with muscles upon muscles some men are wearing, are even exaggerations of an RL bodybuilder's body. And so on. So, in my opinion, much less is better in those cases. And that, I'm telling the wearers of these avatars - albeit in ironic manners.

  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
29 minutes ago, ThorinII said:

 

I 'm not someone who talks behind another person's back about them. I rather address things with this person privately, so that I don't involuntarily make them feel slammed in front of others. Should someone have felt attacked by my posts here - sorry, but I can't know whether or not they fall under the category "caricature" without seeing them.

Why do I feel the need to comment/What I hope to accomplish? I think the closest reason is to make them rethink their choice of shape.
 I mean, nothing against having full lips - but those carp mouths I mentioned are a caricature-like exaggeration of full lips. Nothing against having a curvy avatar - but arses where a full-sized helicopter could land on, and pumpkin-sized breasts which you need "Lolas" or other items for are caricature-like exaggerations of being curvy. Nothing against a muscular shape - but those shapes with muscles upon muscles some men are wearing, are even exaggerations of an RL bodybuilder's body. And so on. So, in my opinion, much less is better in those cases. And that, I'm telling the wearers of these avatars - albeit in ironic manners.

 

Hmm...Okay. So for you, it's about helping the person see themselves as others may, in hopes they'll make choices you (and by extension, possibly others) find more pleasing. That's interesting.

I was right in my post in thinking, it's not a reason I would ever consider. If someone has (to my mind) poor taste, it a) doesn't occur to me that my offering advice on any one particular issue would help them with the taste issue, and 2) doesn't occur to me to care they had bad taste.

Thank you for answering! Truly the reasoning was totally passing me by. I appreciate the explanation. 

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know many of you will not remember SomthingAwful, but years ago the site hosted a group that did a page titled "SL's Ugliest Avatars" , with various people around the grid, some more known than others. I was amongst one of them.

When I first saw the page I realized it was just a poor attempt at trolling, but what bothered me was that it was at a more direct mean spirited approach at people they did not know at all that raised and eyebrow.

I think poking fun and regular banter in SL is quite normal that i'm not surprised by. Creating a page dedicated outside of the platform and medium at a strangers expense is another matter.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, ThorinII said:

@Musetta Fieschi: If you read my previous post thoroughly, I stated that I *only*  comment on others' avatars when they wear a ridiculous shape -- and I did mention the examples: exaggerated arses or boobs, invisible-pony-riders, "carp mouths", arms too short to reach the crotch, muscles over muscles - such caricatures of a human shape. And only these. Those kinds of shape never come as default: Neither in the library nor with the various mesh bodies and heads. They have to be created or bought intentionally.

I don't ridicule "normal"-shaped human avatars. Never - no matter if they're thick, average, or super-thin; no matter if they look healthy or handicapped of some sort. That's not my modus operandi. I may cautiously question choices in cases of extremely poor fashion taste (and I'm usually very tolerant when it comes to fashion), even may give unsolicited advice at times to better their look - but I don't ridicule them. I made a few poor fashion choices myself in the past, and I was glad for the advice somebody else gave me in private.

But those caricatures of a human body that can be seen on certain sims, even on some shopping vendors -- these are just too much.
In cases where I see these kinds of shapes on vendors, I simply don't buy from the seller. Like, for example: Whenever a seller showcases an invisible-pony-rider in order to sell jeans - sorry, no chance to sell anything to me.
And in cases where I meet one of these mis-shaped avatars in person: Yes, then I do make some ironic remarks in private, but NEVER ever in group chat or open chat (unless we're alone within chat range). There's nothing about that I feel I have to regret or excuse. They chose to wear such an abomination after all, so they have to cope with comments about it.

And yes, just like @Gadget Portal, I do see using such shapes as "silly hat" cases. The people behind these avatars decided to wear such a "silly hat", so they have to expect comments by others. Even comments they might not like or may feel offended by. 👿

The irony is that some of those same avatars that have the grossly exaggerated body shapes will try and body shame those of us that chose to maintain "normal" human proportions, calling us unimaginative noobs who just throw on a maitreya body, manipulate the sliders just slightly, and say "ooo look at me ain't I hot", and ridicule our total lack of style or imagination.

That's when I just laugh at them.

And yes, I am hot.

😂

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, BilliJo Aldrin said:

That's when I just laugh at them.

You don’t AR them?

  • Haha 1
  • Confused 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Love Zhaoying said:

You don’t AR them?

They are entitled to their opinions. Why would I AR them?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, BilliJo Aldrin said:

They are entitled to their opinions. Why would I AR them?

Ah, forgive me. I thought you said in another thread that you were AR’ing people who were critical of you. My bad!

  • Haha 1
  • Confused 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, Love Zhaoying said:

Ah, forgive me. I thought you said in another thread that you were AR’ing people who were critical of you. My bad!

Well you see that's different.

Attacking someone inworld in an IM for their personal style choices isn't ARable, you just mute them and move on.

However attacking someone in the forums IS a gross violation of the forum rules, so of course, anyone is entitled to report the post, not just the person being attacked.

I hope this clears things up for you

:)

  • Like 2
  • Thanks 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, Uneven said:

Interesting that you claim you are being attacked? It seems to me, Drake1 simply disagreed and gave you his reasons why. Yet funny enough, all the while you're telling others that they are being overly sensitive and claiming they should stop acting like victims you seem to have done that exact thing right here. 

yawn

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
19 hours ago, Drakonadrgora Darkfold said:

Oh I know clearly what the word means and it was used as it was meant for. Your response in this thread and in others proves my point for me. A sociopath doesn't exactly not care, they just don't care to change their behaviour because they do not believe they need to.

"it's my ball and I taking it home and you can't play with it anymore because I said so because you won't let me win"

Someone got an A in their psych 101 class. Good job.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And we are done!

This thread is 7 pages long. I have not finished my coffee, so I am not, currently, going to go through every single post looking for violations that may result in users getting suspended.  My decision may change, however, once I am done with my coffee. 

Second Life allows various avatars including ones with exaggerated proportions.  If you personally do not like how another avatar looks right click on them and choose Mute/Block.  You will no longer see nor hear them.

The only time anyone should care at all about how an avatar looks is if it would violate Linden Lab and Second Life Policies. If it violates the policies, then an Abuse Report should be submitted. 

 

  • Like 7
  • Thanks 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...