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Emuna Zamani

Is Body-Shaming aThing in SL or Are Some Just Too Sensitive?

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Posted (edited)

For sure I have seen it in several Sims. Sometimes it's ribbing, other times pretty mean. Usually, from my experience it's more of not being mesh, not using a mesh head, flexie hair etc etc verse the actual shape of someone. So maybe it's more income/not spending money shaming.

Anywho...

Edited by Cherryfixx
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17 minutes ago, janetosilio said:

That’s clearly what she meant. Some of you just chose to go the semantic route for whatever reason. People responded like that’s what she meant and some didn’t because...forum.

If you go back to the original post and read my original response, I went the 'semantic route' because body shaming is an important topic that is becoming more important to address, in the real world. I don't think it should be changed into anything-shaming because it's important. Not because I just want to be contrary. She asked a question that seemed open to addressing her wording, which I responded essentially "I agree with the problem but not with your words." It could've gone from there to address the problem instead of the words, but it didn't. I took her at what she said, if she meant something else she could have reworded for that clarity instead of insisting she meant 'body shaming' because we have body sliders.

The word 'triggered' went a similar route of broadening, and is now useless. It was an important word, which meant "this thing bothers me and it's none of your business why" and now people who need that word to describe experiences with mental illness that they shouldn't have to describe in detail to everyone they encounter, can't use it because it's been robbed of meaning and become a joke. If it becomes apparent to the world outside SL that we apply the words 'body shaming' to kittycat avatars, we won't be able to use that phrase any longer. 

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Ok, so we’re worried about body shaming in SL taking away from the meaning of body shaming even though it meets the definition of the term in every way?

Give me a break. Using the term in SL is not going to take away anything from it’s meaning or importance. Some of you are trying to tack something onto it that wasn’t meant or intended. She asked a simple question and it got blown out of proportion to the point where we’re talking about how using a term in second life is going to take away from the meaning? 

Yeah, we’ll agree to disagree.

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We're talking about using a term outside of it's meaning taking away it's meaning. Body shaming is about physical bodies, 3D pictures are not bodies. Applying the term to 3d pictures takes away it's meaning, because that's not a body. I'm really done repeating this, so that's the last I'm gonna say. Body shaming is a term that cannot be applied to SL. Choose something accurate.

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26 minutes ago, janetosilio said:

Ok, so we’re worried about body shaming in SL taking away from the meaning of body shaming even though it meets the definition of the term in every way?

It meets the definition of the term, in the same way that shooting someone in Call of Duty meets the definition of murder.

(In other words, it doesn't, sorry)

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10 minutes ago, AyelaNewLife said:

It meets the definition of the term, in the same way that shooting someone in Call of Duty meets the definition of murder.

(In other words, it doesn't, sorry)

By that logic SL is a game....

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28 minutes ago, Asylum Habilis said:

We're talking about using a term outside of it's meaning taking away it's meaning. Body shaming is about physical bodies, 3D pictures are not bodies. Applying the term to 3d pictures takes away it's meaning, because that's not a body. I'm really done repeating this, so that's the last I'm gonna say. Body shaming is a term that cannot be applied to SL. Choose something accurate.

Yes, and the question was about feelings. You can repeat yourself all day long, I don’t agree with you either, it is not being used outside of it’s meaning. What the definition of the term says is what was meant in the original question. You don’t like her word choice, so you tacked on an implication that isn’t even there. Saying “body shaming “ on an SL forum is going to some how change the meaning of a word to the point where it’s meaningless is ridiculous because 1) it’s not 2) that’s why words have entries because the meaning changes. But SL effecting language in that way? Come on.

 

 

so agree to disagree. I’m good with that.

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9 hours ago, Syo Emerald said:

Its funny...all those people in here, saying that voicing dislike about a virtual avatar is the same as real life body shaming, would be 100% the same who would tell a furry (or otherwise non-human avatar, but usually its furries) to "suck it up", when their avatar choice gets them nasty comments and straight out exclusion. Also the same people would burn any furry on the stake in this forum, if they start another "racism against furries" post. (Not that I would agree with those posts either, but you can't pick your cherries. Its either all "choice" and not compareable to the seriousness of the real life issue or it isn't)

5

Um, please don't put words in my mouth. While it's true there are some who are trying to create a kind of social media Kardashian existence. Usually, newer people who get bent out of shape by evidence that we are in fact down the rabbit hole rather than an rl simiulator. I'm with Bitsy Buccaneer, it's the intent that matters. That's whether the avatar is human, furry, neko, vampire or some combination never thought of. One of my regrets is the kind of surburbanization of SL. It's become far too realistic for my personal tastes, I miss dancing at a club next to a neko or a greenie, or whatever.

 

While I consider myself fairly inured to people's opinions of my avatar or whatever, it doesn't mean I don't notice when they're unnecessarily nasty to myself or someone else. It's not enough for some to simply live and let live, but no; people feel the need to reach out and try to make others feel bad about themselves.

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I've had it happen and it certainly exists, heck you see an amusing sl-only subset of a  "Damned if you do, damned  if you don't" situation even right here on the forums, surrounding the body height. 

Above a certain height and you're a freakish giantess with no sense of proportion or style., Below it and  you're a  "creepy age-play child" even if every other part of your avatar is clearly that of an adult. I've even been guilty of the former myself until I realised how silly it really  is.

I'm going to pointedly ignore the splitting hairs of term usage because, It doesn't matter if we can change in an instant. SL, contrary to popular  opinion does not exist in a vacuum devoid of any influence from Real life. Biases from  RL seep into SL. As someone who is short, the comments on my height  l, wouldn't be too out of place in sl. Only I can't change my shape to make myself taller, like I can and do in SL. when I feel like it. Likewise fatphobia thrives well in SL by the fact that trying to make a  suitably  full-figured or overweight body is  like pulling teeth.. not to mention trying to clothe it. Not to mention the comments should you suceed...

(and I have tried, I want to have my  rl-curves and chub dammit.)

Sure, anyone can change  shape/avatar at a whim,  But  Why should they have to change in order to avoid bullying behaviour? That seems a bit backwards don't you think?

 

 

 

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On 1/1/2019 at 7:34 PM, BilliJo Aldrin said:

However people look in SL, it is entirely their own choice, why should they care what someone else thinks of them?

I would think genuine body shaming is a problem when, for example, people are still using a system avi and perhaps can't afford to update, and they are attacked for it. 

Rest assured, when I meet you, I'll have an opinion on your body, positive or negative, and I assume you'd have an opinion about me. However unless it's positive, I won't say anything.

I regularly trash grossly hideous avatars to my friends, (yes my friends almost all look like me more or less) but  I would never comment directly to the person.

And honestly who hasn't sat in the mall in RL with a friend and critiqued people as they walk by?

I was shamed then, but my shamer bought me a mesh bod that I still use so I forgive him completely. 😍

and I also laugh at odd fashion choices, but I have made plenty myself so I am not spared from mockery!

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13 hours ago, janetosilio said:

By that logic SL is a game....

Not necessarly.

This decade old debate is also in its core a debate about the meaning of words and the attempt to settle, if SL fits it or not. Deciding that negative comments about an avatar aren't equal to real life body shaming, doesn't touch on the arguments in the game debate, as they are more centered around what we understand, when we call something a game.

 

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On 1/2/2019 at 2:23 PM, Asylum Habilis said:

Couldn't disagree more. Watering down and broadening terms like body shaming is what leads to them losing their meaning. Words have meanings and have to be kept to their meanings, and not doing that is what leads to this idea that 'evil SJWs' are just 'sensitive' about everything. Broadening meanings eventually leads to no meaning at all.

I think you may have lost sight of the forest for the trees. In some of what you've written here and elsewhere it sounds as if there may be a good deal of underlying pain. I'm sorry if someone's hurt you by shaming any aspect of your person.

The broadening I'd like to do here is to parallel the RL versions to their SL counterparts for starters and then continue on to shaming-type behaviours in general. It's not a loss of meaning or watering down. It's understanding some very strong and very real similarities in how some people act towards others. It's harmful and hurtful whether it's directed to a person's RL body or the choices they've made in assembling an internet avatar or profile.

It's about gaining strength through understanding the  similarities in behaviour patterns. The more we understand, the better able we are to address them in wherever they manifest.

Don't let the red pill and gamersgate hate mongers divide us or give them the power to define the parameters of our discussion. That strengthens them. It doesn't help you or me or any of us here.

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1 hour ago, Bitsy Buccaneer said:

I think you may have lost sight of the forest for the trees. In some of what you've written here and elsewhere it sounds as if there may be a good deal of underlying pain. I'm sorry if someone's hurt you by shaming any aspect of your person.

The broadening I'd like to do here is to parallel the RL versions to their SL counterparts for starters and then continue on to shaming-type behaviours in general. It's not a loss of meaning or watering down. It's understanding some very strong and very real similarities in how some people act towards others. It's harmful and hurtful whether it's directed to a person's RL body or the choices they've made in assembling an internet avatar or profile.

It's about gaining strength through understanding the  similarities in behaviour patterns. The more we understand, the better able we are to address them in wherever they manifest.

Don't let the red pill and gamersgate hate mongers divide us or give them the power to define the parameters of our discussion. That strengthens them. It doesn't help you or me or any of us here.

I appreciate your attempts to personalize this for me, but no. Things can be important without being personal. I'm just an activist watching the same patterns of behavior over and over again, and trying to stop them from reoccurring where I can. The broader you make any topic, the less people care about it. If it's something that happens "everywhere" to "everyone" for "everything" then it's too big to change and the attitude toward it shifts, putting the onus to the victim to stop being hurt instead of stopping the harmful behavior. This isn't theoretical, it's a pattern you can observe if you just watch. 

Accuracy is our friend, not stretching inaccurate terms like a blanket to cover everyone so we can no longer talk about specific issues without running about in the weeds. The pet peeve thread for instance touched on the subject of people being snooty and judgmental about avatars and we did not end up like this. Probably because the terminology was accurate.

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8 minutes ago, Asylum Habilis said:

This isn't theoretical, it's a pattern you can observe if you just watch. 

Accuracy is our friend, not stretching inaccurate terms like a blanket to cover everyone so we can no longer talk about specific issues without running about in the weeds. The pet peeve thread for instance touched on the subject of people being snooty and judgmental about avatars and we did not end up like this. Probably because the terminology was accurate.

I am watching. I see things differently.

Accuracy is grand. I'm all for it. But one of the things I see happening these days is a repeated insistence on getting hung up in over-literalness and missing the forest for the trees. It keeps us engaged in piecemeal battles and arguing with those who should be our allies. That's just making things even harder for ourselves. I'm really not interested in giving that sort of power to those who benefit from our divisions.

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Accuracy stops division. Like I just said, we had a similar conversation using accurate terminology that didn't end up divided. This conversation, with it's inaccurate wording, ended up in the weeds because we still can't agree that a broken arm is different than a bruised foot so we can talk about the treatment. 

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I'm going to give up on this for awhile. It really does seem that you're not understanding what I've tried to say at all Asylum. Maybe someone else find a way to phrase it better.

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On 1/2/2019 at 8:26 AM, Syo Emerald said:

Its funny...all those people in here, saying that voicing dislike about a virtual avatar is the same as real life body shaming, would be 100% the same who would tell a furry (or otherwise non-human avatar, but usually its furries) to "suck it up", when their avatar choice gets them nasty comments and straight out exclusion. Also the same people would burn any furry on the stake in this forum, if they start another "racism against furries" post. (Not that I would agree with those posts either, but you can't pick your cherries. Its either all "choice" and not compareable to the seriousness of the real life issue or it isn't)

But of course, if its even potentially about their own avatar, then its 100% a serious issue, needs to be called body shaming and has absolutly no degree of difference to RL body shaming. And viewing it as such is total not questionable at all.

 

I'm not saying you need to be happy, when someone expresses their dislike about your avatar (if they do that to your face, they are rude, no need to discuss that). But is it too much to ask to calm down and not blow issue out of proportion?

Shaming is shaming, whether it's human, furry or anything in between. Saying that it's not as harmful as RL body shaming is just plain wrong. There are plenty of people who make their avs as close to their RL as possible and they get called all sorts of horrible things for it. Why dismiss their claims instead of holding out a hand? 

On 1/2/2019 at 9:23 AM, Asylum Habilis said:

 

Couldn't disagree more. Watering down and broadening terms like body shaming is what leads to them losing their meaning. Words have meanings and have to be kept to their meanings, and not doing that is what leads to this idea that 'evil SJWs' are just 'sensitive' about everything. Broadening meanings eventually leads to no meaning at all.

Is it a body? Technically. It is an avatars body but a body nonetheless. Shaming is still wrong. 

On 1/2/2019 at 12:58 PM, Asylum Habilis said:

People not liking the look of your fantasy self is not body shaming just because it makes you feel bad. Lots of things make people feel bad, that doesn't make them all body shaming. That is my point. Just because something is bad and makes you feel bad doesn't make it body shaming. Not being body shaming doesn't mean it's fine and not a problem. Nails and grocery bags are both bad things to eat but that doesn't make them the same thing. 

Think about it this way. If the question posed had been "Do you feel like people in SL are shamed for avatars?" or "Do you feel like people in SL are being unnecessarily or aggressively treated because of the appearance of their avatars?" we'd be having a very different conversation, one that does not center over whether or not the wording is accurate.

So, you just want to nitpick about semantics rather than discuss the heart of the issue. Its people like you that do the shaming.. It doesnt matter if its an avatar or a RL body, there are people who see their avs as an extension of themselves. Shaming their avs body is taken as shaming them. What gives anyone the right to shame anyone for anything? Who the hell do you think you are? My daughter ran afoul of one of these a$$hats her first week. Starter av, just getting used to things and shopping for mesh goodness when some idiot starts in on her looks. I suppose you would say she should just laugh it off? 

Semantics.. Shove your semantics where the sun don't shine. 

1 hour ago, Asylum Habilis said:

Accuracy stops division. Like I just said, we had a similar conversation using accurate terminology that didn't end up divided. This conversation, with it's inaccurate wording, ended up in the weeds because we still can't agree that a broken arm is different than a bruised foot so we can talk about the treatment. 

The OP was very accurate, she did not say anything about a RL body, she specifically said "Body-Shaming in SL" which most everyone understood to mean an avatars body. You decided that it couldn't be called body shaming as it's just pixels. Guess what, it's called a body by LL. So i guess it is actually a body. How's your accuracy doing?

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I know you think you pwned me, but like...maybe you should re-read the OP? 

"Body-Shaming in SL is my most recent and in the comments under the video, most people seem to "get" where I am coming from but I have received some pretty angry emails. [...] I really would like to know how those here on the forums feel about the topic. Is Body-Shaming a thing or are people being too sensitive?"

And my original response: 

"It's possible some of the people getting upset about your post are people who are making that distinction either because they don't agree with the equivalence"

Her question was, does body shaming exist? My answer was and remains no. Based on her question, based on her wording, my answer is no. I don't make a habit of reading into what people write or attempting to infer meaning, as that leads to misunderstanding. She used an already existing phrase, asked if it was happening in SL, and I said no because SL is not the same as what that phrase already exists for, which is an RL situation about physical unchangable people. I'm not the only person who feels that way, I'm just the only one still being quoted. 

I base my responses on what you write and if that isn't what you're meaning, then you can clarify, but I'm not going to read into what you say or put words in anyone's mouth to make myself agree or disagree with them. 

Now kindly stop quoting me, as I'm no longer replying to this thread. As the kids say, I said what I said. 

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On 1/1/2019 at 3:34 AM, BilliJo Aldrin said:

And honestly who hasn't sat in the mall in RL with a friend and critiqued people as they walk by?

Short answer: Lots of people!

Long answer:  First off the answer to whether or not there is body shaming in SL requires an acknowledgement of the different ways of being in SL. The immersionist will say of course I have a body! Of course it can be shamed. The gamer will say that ridiculous!  This is just a game, "Nobody can see your body, how could they shame it?". The augmentationist will say it doesn't matter whether your body is a personal choice, if someone heaps abuse on your choice then it's legitimate to say there's been body shaming.

 

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   Has anyone mentioned the whole 'psychologically, body-shaming is a projection of your own insecurity or jealousy of others, based on the fact that you can only find gratification through external validation of your physical appearance by your peers' sort of thing yet? 

   If anyone harasses you for any reason, whether it's bodyshaming or kinkshaming or whatever - you're entirely at liberty to block the person in question, or if you feel that it was extensive enough, report the player for their behavior. If LL deems it a grave enough offense to deal with, they will deal with it, but the first thing they will tell you is to block and/or avoid that person. If it occurs at a venue which you don't want to leave, contact the venue staff or sim owner and they may warn/eject/ban the person.

   I don't mean to come off harsh but, if you -let- random people online get to your feelings, maybe the broad Internet isn't for you - there are plenty of mutual admiration societies where everyone will agree with you and support you, but stepping into SL is just like stepping into a room in real life; there will be people you'll find agreeable, and there are people who you won't. Bodyshaming isn't a 'social issue', it's plain and simple bullying, where someone grabs onto whatever they can to cause you pain to make themselves feel a little superior - picking on a physical trait that's apparent to everyone is just the easiest basis of bullying. People feel safe behind their screens, and sometimes this brings out the best in people - oftentimes it brings out the worst.

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Posted (edited)
27 minutes ago, Orwar said:

Bodyshaming isn't a 'social issue', it's plain and simple bullying, where someone grabs onto whatever they can to cause you pain to make themselves feel a little superior - picking on a physical trait that's apparent to everyone is just the easiest basis of bullying. People feel safe behind their screens, and sometimes this brings out the best in people - oftentimes it brings out the worst.

uhhuh.gif.ac50d98e74240901f51e4ffbfc2e715d.gif

 

It makes no difference if it occurs in RL, SL or elsewhere, body shaming is body shaming.

Edited by Selene Gregoire
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26 minutes ago, Selene Gregoire said:

It makes no difference if it occurs in RL, SL or elsewhere, body shaming is body shaming.

   I'm going to have to disagree, not because of an actual disagreement on the nature of the practice, but because the terminology is outright bad. Body shaming is a prefix-catalogization of a larger issue, a product of a millennial mindset where the victims are 'special' because this particular prefix-shaming is much worse than that other prefix-shaming to put you higher on the offense-o-meter so that more focus can be drawn to your issue. 

   I'm not saying that people who are bullied for their physical, or in this case virtual, appearance are any less bullied than one is, when 'shamed' for another prefix. I'm saying we live in an awkward time where rampant cataloging of 'my unique issue' divides the victims into cliques who try to invent new ways to deal with their 'unique' issue; often at the cost of already established methods and research of the broader term. Which is bullying.

   Bullying is bullying, and if you ask for help with how to deal with being bullied, there is a ton of professional help to get from psychiatrists, teachers, bosses and authorities - but if you're told that you've been specifically 'body shamed' and try to self-help by hitting Google, you'll get a VERY different answer.

   Try it for yourself - ask Google what to do about being bullied, and you'll get hits from clinical research giving you the psychology behind the bully and how to counter it. Ask Google what to do if you're body shamed, and you'll receive countless blog posts from various self-proclaimed 'experts' that tell you to 'love your body' and 'don't listen to them' (one that popped up went as far as to suggest that if you're 'fat-shamed', give yourself a treat). 

   Bullying is majorly done on the basis of physical traits, as I already mentioned (although far from 'only') - whatever meets the eye that isn't at the apex of one's ideals is easy to remark on (and conversely, remarking on something that -does- is easy, but equally offensive to some people - giving someone a compliment on their physique can get you in all sorts of trouble these days). It doesn't matter if it's that you're wearing glasses, or that your hips are too wide, or that your hair is red, or that your jacket has the wrong cut - it's all the same; bullying. Translating the usual tips for dealing with bullies in RL into an SL setting boils down to either confronting the person with rationality and pointing out that the error is on their end - or, and again considering the whole 'Internet brings out the extremities of people's opinions', just block them. Bullies -rarely- actually -hate- the people they pick on, but they will latch on to those who submit to their behavior - and if a person submits, people are inclined to step on them rather than offering them a helping hand, because it's in human nature to feel better about oneself if one can easily do it at the expense of others, and if someone else paves the way to make it easier for us - all the better. Whole classes of children don't bully 'that one kid' because everyone genuinely dislikes them, but because no one intervened to break the instinctual behavior. And this instinct is not unique to children - as we mature, some of us will 'learn' (through an actual social construction) that it is wrong, some of us even grow up to feel a great deal of regret about what they did or didn't do in their youth in such situations (compare it to the psychology of modern soldiers; we're taught that killing is the worst you can do, then you're trained to kill people, then you're celebrated for doing so - there's a reason a lot of war veterans can't adapt to 'normal life' again and end up on the streets, or substance abuses, or simply kill themselves). The concept of equality is still infant compared to the hundreds of thousands of years of human development, just as the concept of the sanctity of human life. We're hardwired to compete with each other, to conquer each other, to preserve ourselves and prosper at the cost of others. We used to call it natural selection. 

   If someone tells me that my avatar is too <insert random complaint here> (and yes, it happens; 'too pale', 'too short', 'too beefy'), I'm rarely in the mood to give them a psychological evaluation to discover the root of their problem that prompts them to behave in such a way. Because we already know that bullying is almost without fail caused by underlying issues in the bully, whether it's a lack of self confidence, or a lack of proper relations for them to confide their feelings with, or because a sibling convinced them that they're adopted, or that they haven't been educated enough to know that you need to be nice to people around you to function in a civilized society. 

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Posted (edited)

Too many narcissists in SL on both sides of the body/avatar shaming argument. Narcissist receives a knowledgable critique of one's avatar? You're body shaming me! Narcissist is insecure about their looks? Your body isn't as good as mine! Look in the mirror but please don't kiss your reflection!

Edited by Bree Giffen
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1 hour ago, Orwar said:

   I'm going to have to disagree, not because of an actual disagreement on the nature of the practice, but because the terminology is outright bad. Body shaming is a prefix-catalogization of a larger issue, a product of a millennial mindset where the victims are 'special' because this particular prefix-shaming is much worse than that other prefix-shaming to put you higher on the offense-o-meter so that more focus can be drawn to your issue. 

   I'm not saying that people who are bullied for their physical, or in this case virtual, appearance are any less bullied than one is, when 'shamed' for another prefix. I'm saying we live in an awkward time where rampant cataloging of 'my unique issue' divides the victims into cliques who try to invent new ways to deal with their 'unique' issue; often at the cost of already established methods and research of the broader term. Which is bullying.

   Bullying is bullying, and if you ask for help with how to deal with being bullied, there is a ton of professional help to get from psychiatrists, teachers, bosses and authorities - but if you're told that you've been specifically 'body shamed' and try to self-help by hitting Google, you'll get a VERY different answer.

   Try it for yourself - ask Google what to do about being bullied, and you'll get hits from clinical research giving you the psychology behind the bully and how to counter it. Ask Google what to do if you're body shamed, and you'll receive countless blog posts from various self-proclaimed 'experts' that tell you to 'love your body' and 'don't listen to them' (one that popped up went as far as to suggest that if you're 'fat-shamed', give yourself a treat). 

   Bullying is majorly done on the basis of physical traits, as I already mentioned (although far from 'only') - whatever meets the eye that isn't at the apex of one's ideals is easy to remark on (and conversely, remarking on something that -does- is easy, but equally offensive to some people - giving someone a compliment on their physique can get you in all sorts of trouble these days). It doesn't matter if it's that you're wearing glasses, or that your hips are too wide, or that your hair is red, or that your jacket has the wrong cut - it's all the same; bullying. Translating the usual tips for dealing with bullies in RL into an SL setting boils down to either confronting the person with rationality and pointing out that the error is on their end - or, and again considering the whole 'Internet brings out the extremities of people's opinions', just block them. Bullies -rarely- actually -hate- the people they pick on, but they will latch on to those who submit to their behavior - and if a person submits, people are inclined to step on them rather than offering them a helping hand, because it's in human nature to feel better about oneself if one can easily do it at the expense of others, and if someone else paves the way to make it easier for us - all the better. Whole classes of children don't bully 'that one kid' because everyone genuinely dislikes them, but because no one intervened to break the instinctual behavior. And this instinct is not unique to children - as we mature, some of us will 'learn' (through an actual social construction) that it is wrong, some of us even grow up to feel a great deal of regret about what they did or didn't do in their youth in such situations (compare it to the psychology of modern soldiers; we're taught that killing is the worst you can do, then you're trained to kill people, then you're celebrated for doing so - there's a reason a lot of war veterans can't adapt to 'normal life' again and end up on the streets, or substance abuses, or simply kill themselves). The concept of equality is still infant compared to the hundreds of thousands of years of human development, just as the concept of the sanctity of human life. We're hardwired to compete with each other, to conquer each other, to preserve ourselves and prosper at the cost of others. We used to call it natural selection. 

   If someone tells me that my avatar is too <insert random complaint here> (and yes, it happens; 'too pale', 'too short', 'too beefy'), I'm rarely in the mood to give them a psychological evaluation to discover the root of their problem that prompts them to behave in such a way. Because we already know that bullying is almost without fail caused by underlying issues in the bully, whether it's a lack of self confidence, or a lack of proper relations for them to confide their feelings with, or because a sibling convinced them that they're adopted, or that they haven't been educated enough to know that you need to be nice to people around you to function in a civilized society. 

tl:dr

Been there. Done all that.

Doesn't change the facts.

Body shaming is body shaming.

Bullying is bullying.

Body shaming is bullying.

Signed,

The kid who was bullied from kindergarten through high school.

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I think it is a mistake to think that because we have control over what we look like in SL that it shouldn't bother us when our vat arms appearance is criticized. In fact if anything that might hurt more. After all they are not criticizing my genetics, they are criticizing me. I work very hard, to the point of being obsessed, to create an avi that is attractive. Then someone sees my creation and says I am ugly, well that means I was a failure at trying to be beautiful. 

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