Rudeness in general

[Kia Kiyori]

1 hour ago, Selene Gregoire said:

I just happened to log in today for a few minutes. The request is still there...waiting. It'll still be there next time I log in. 

Top idea, Selene. The 'auto-response to non-friends' with "the number you've dialed is busy, please hang up and try again later" works great for me. They don't tend to 'phone back', either 

[BelindaN]

9 hours ago, Selene Gregoire said:

You have to be a pretty exceptional person for me to make an exception to break my hard and fast rule of never adding anyone I haven't gotten to know over a period of several weeks or even months. I'll happily trade calling cards with you so we can maintain contact and get to know each other.  Adding someone right off the bat is an extremely rare exception.

/me brushes off my "pretty exceptional person persona", and gets out there practicing, like I'm entering the Olympics.

On another matter, my Apartment is on an adult sim, so most visitors to the sim are of a certain demographic. Some (not many) tp into my apartment, and the security orb boots them, but some IM me -  always with "Hi!", or actually...... hi   grrrr!

So I have a default response which I copy into local chat........................

Automated security response: These apartments are private residences and to preserve privacy, incoming IM’s are blocked.  

 

 

 

[Qie Niangao]

Not saying it applies here, but I always assume that any social friction in SL is caused by some technical glitch in communication. IMs lost during teleport, IMs lost during logout. Friends mysteriously muted (by accident? by viewer bug? by cosmic entropy?).

It's when they put up fullbright billboards questioning my parentage, hygiene, and nationality, that's when they get kicked from the friends list.

[MishaC25]

A couple days ago I logged on to SL, took my avi to the beach like i always do, and then in RL got up and made breakfast, which took all of about 5 minutes. When I came back 2 male avi's were standing near where my avi was laying. One of the guys apparently had said hi to me, and when my avi didnt respond because i wasn't there, he said " You F'g B***h you're talking to that guy, who knows absolutely nothing, and not talking to me?. F you, you F'g B***h!!".

I blocked him and left the area. 

 

Edited December 23, 2018 by MishaC25

[Love Zhaoying]

43 minutes ago, Qie Niangao said:

when they put up fullbright billboards questioning my parentage, hygiene, and nationality, that's when they get kicked from the friends list.

..that escalated fast!

[Laika Ravikumar]

19 minutes ago, MishaC25 said:

A couple days ago I logged on to SL, took my avi to the beach like i always do, and then in RL got up and made breakfast, which took all of about 5 minutes. When I came back 2 male avi's were standing near where my avi was laying. One of the guys apparently had said hi to me, and when my avi didnt respond because i wasn't there, he said " You F'g B***h you're talking to that guy, who knows absolutely nothing, and not talking to me?. F you, you F'g B***h!!".

I blocked him and left the area. 

 

That’s horrible you have to wonder about the mentality of these people. 

[MishaC25]

1 minute ago, Laika Ravikumar said:

That’s horrible you have to wonder about the mentality of these people. 

IKR?  How can someone get THAT mad, in just a couple of minutes?! I can't imagine how this person is in RL.

[Talligurl]

11 hours ago, Laika Ravikumar said:

I agree that I probably should not have said yes when he offered friendship. It actually was a longer conversation than a few sentences and he seemed nice, we had some things in common. I do find it hard to turn people down and I should know better after all this time. I just didn’t expect him to have a hissy fit if I did not immediately talk when he was online. I don’t as a rule spend a lot of time inworld but he did seem to be there every time I logged on. 

soon as they start to have a hissy fit, block  them,then you won't know what they are doing , it makes them much easier to ignore.

[Phil Deakins]

On 12/22/2018 at 2:39 PM, Syo Emerald said:

its an advanced level of insufficient use of brain matter

I disagree. When some people put all of the brain matter they posses to its maximum use, it appears to the rest of us like they are either using very little of it, or not using any of it.

[Ren Toxx]

10 hours ago, MishaC25 said:

A couple days ago I logged on to SL, took my avi to the beach like i always do, and then in RL got up and made breakfast, which took all of about 5 minutes. When I came back 2 male avi's were standing near where my avi was laying. One of the guys apparently had said hi to me, and when my avi didnt respond because i wasn't there, he said " You F'g B***h you're talking to that guy, who knows absolutely nothing, and not talking to me?. F you, you F'g B***h!!".

I blocked him and left the area.

I just shrug it off; depending on how they go off, it’s even worth a chuckle with friends. And at any rate, it’s the easiest, quickest indicator of “whom to never bother with”—I take notes in the profile, just in case. I’m a naturally curious person, but I don’t usually bother wondering why these people are like that; I just assume they’re either trolls, animals with a barely acquired ability to write, or both.

The one thing I never, ever do is to go away, or even move an inch. It’s a matter of pride: I chose to be there, and no one’s making me leave.

Edited December 23, 2018 by Ren Toxx

[LittleMe Jewell]

6 hours ago, Phil Deakins said:

I disagree. When some people put all of the brain matter they posses to its maximum use, it appears to the rest of us like they are either using very little of it, or not using any of it.

So true.  Some are truly doing the best they can with what little they have to work with.

[Nalates Urriah]

On 12/22/2018 at 8:57 AM, Lucia Nightfire said:

Incels gonna incel.

OMG! I had to look it up... 😳

On 12/22/2018 at 5:46 PM, Laika Ravikumar said:

I agree that I probably should not have said yes when he offered friendship. It actually was a longer conversation than a few sentences and he seemed nice, we had some things in common. I do find it hard to turn people down and I should know better after all this time. I just didn’t expect him to have a hissy fit if I did not immediately talk when he was online. I don’t as a rule spend a lot of time inworld but he did seem to be there every time I logged on. 

People often don't reveal their nature until there is something you won't give them or do for them them. Saying no is a MAJOR trigger for many people. How they handle an initial rejection of a Friend offer is telling.

Also there is the social conditioning that is on-going and I think contributing to rudeness. Political agendas and corporate marketing work to shape and motivate people to comply those goals. It is getting overly scary. Consider Google's Selfish Ledger.

On 12/22/2018 at 6:08 PM, Selene Gregoire said:

You have to be a pretty exceptional person for me to make an exception to break my hard and fast rule of never adding anyone I haven't gotten to know over a period of several weeks or even months. I'll happily trade calling cards with you so we can maintain contact and get to know each other.  Adding someone right off the bat is an extremely rare exception.

I tend to do the same. I do make exceptions in various games and role plays to facilitate game play. 

I also add my thoughts in their Profile. I figure once an A_____e always one.

On 12/22/2018 at 11:05 PM, Akasha Sternberg said:

the problem is: I witness it anywhere on the interwebs and in RL, too - dramatically increasing from day to day....
And if you´re nice you´re either being taken for sarcastic (even if I was honest...) or they look at you as if they´ve seen a ghost. It´s weird these days...

usually if I´m taking pics and I see someone near me/aproaching me I put my titler on with something like "taking pics can´t talk" or "Blogger at work" or something like that...

Maybe you are just getting old and crotchety... really fast. I'm teasing. 

I understand the problem. I think it is real. I also think how we respond to people and situations has a major effect on them. 

Jordan Peterson is a highly controversial debater. Several people have discussed how he debates, tactics not subject matter,  and the same for Ben Shapiro. You can find the discussions on YouTube. Both use similar tactics to avoid attacking the other person as they disagree. On the political conservative and evangelical side of things you find people rely on this idea of avoiding attack, which probably comes from the Christian teaching of Peter to be able to defend one's faith (he meant spiritual but the same goes for any belief) with respect and gentleness. Don't get the idea they  (conservatives or Christians) have that down. They screw it up too. Ego tends to get in the way.

But, contrast that with basic tactics used by the Liberal and Progressive sides and highly prominent in the media's use; attack and ridicule. Alinsky succinctly enumerated them in Rules for Radicals. That so many are using these tactics it isn't surprising we see more people adopting them without thought. So, I do not find it surprising you see an increase in rude and  crudeness. 

[Akasha Sternberg]

1 hour ago, Nalates Urriah said:

Maybe you are just getting old and crotchety... really fast. I'm teasing.

 

*holds out her arm* do you want to put more salt in the wound?  😜 AAAAAAND!!! I have you know that I gave a roll with little sleeves for 20 crotchet needles to my mom this christmas (I myself LIKE crotcheting but... I´m just not good at it... else you´d be SO damn true ^^ ) 

[Paul Hexem]

Get a job in any kind of security or customer service field. It's not just SL or the Internet.

I worked security at an amusement park for a while. Every ride had specific rules. Ride attendants were tasked with enforcing them. The female ride attendants, especially young ones, we could almost never leave them alone because of how people (men and women, mostly parents) treated them.

[Callum Meriman]

1 hour ago, Gadget Portal said:

Get a job in any kind of security or customer service field. It's not just SL or the Internet.

So true.

 

[rasterscan]

On 12/22/2018 at 2:28 PM, Laika Ravikumar said:

I am actually sitting just amazed at how rude some people can be perhaps its the anonymity of Secondlife makes them feel its ok. 

Yes agreed ! It's as bad in the forum with the same half dozen flamers loitering permanently, waiting to pounce on the first poor resident with a problem or query. My good lady reckons they are LL employees incognito !

[Laika Ravikumar]

Cant say I have ever had that on the forums, most of my nicest friends are here. I have always found them to be supportive.

The rude ones are the and this is a ‘mostly, not an absolute’ the men I meet. 

Most people on forums are helpful or they have been to me. 

[Annie Nova]

3 hours ago, Laika Ravikumar said:

Cant say I have ever had that on the forums, most of my nicest friends are here. I have always found them to be supportive.

The rude ones are the and this is a ‘mostly, not an absolute’ the men I meet. 

Most people on forums are helpful or they have been to me. 

*ponders* ummmm.....what's a man?????

[LittleMe Jewell]

5 hours ago, rasterscan said:

Yes agreed ! It's as bad in the forum with the same half dozen flamers loitering permanently, waiting to pounce on the first poor resident with a problem or query. My good lady reckons they are LL employees incognito !

This is actually common across the internet in general.  Being pretty much anonymous lends some people to behaving far worse than they would to people in RL.

By the same token, there are a lot of folks that assume anyone disagreeing with them is being rude to them or picking on them, etc....

So, IMO, it is a combination of some folks truly be more rude on the internet and others just being overly sensitive.

[Amina Sopwith]

On 4/18/2019 at 11:45 PM, anniepany said:

*ponders* ummmm.....what's a man?????

If you don't know that by now, I'm not telling you!

[Annie Nova]

9 hours ago, Amina Sopwith said:

If you don't know that by now, I'm not telling you!

*pouts* but....I wanna know! LOL

[Madelaine McMasters]

On 4/18/2019 at 7:43 PM, LittleMe Jewell said:

Being pretty much anonymous lends some people to behaving far worse than they would to people in RL.

This is so true. I've yet to actually set anyone on fire in RL.

[Selene Gregoire]

1 hour ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

This is so true. I've yet to actually set anyone on fire in RL.

My evidence says otherwise. There are many copies. And should something ever happen to me, like spontaneous combustion, the whole world will know...

 

...right before it all goes up in flames.

[Waisting]

On 12/22/2018 at 9:28 AM, Laika Ravikumar said:

I am actually sitting just amazed at how rude some people can be perhaps its the anonymity of Secondlife makes them feel its ok. Late Thursday afternoon i was at a simm trying to take some pics for flickr and the forums in a quiet alley with nobody around and this guy pops up. He started chatting and although I could have done without it I chatted to him for a while. Did not manage to get the pics I wanted but hey I try to be civil. Anyway I said I had to go and he asked to friend me and because I was not paying attention it was a few moments before I saw the request then he says Sorry for asking and I said did not see it was talking to someone. So I thought no harm seemed nice enough so accepted. I did see him online but so were several old friends over the period between then and today but he didn't say anything and I was doing other things so I did not say anything either. Half an hour ago was playing with photography and a message pops up from him saying 'so you have not spoken to me since the last time therefor I deem you boring and not worthy of my time so f*** off. How charming lol. And all this over a period of less than 2 days. 

At least he managed to speak to you. I had  an instance where I was taking a couple of photos for an upcoming product of mine and someone straight up popped up right in the middle of the shoot, right after I had gotten everything set up. My friend and I politely asked him to leave because we figured maybe he just forgot to teleport elsewhere before logging off or something but he was of course a troll. Thankfully I was able to defender him but it made the shoot excruciatingly long because I had to defender all of his particle spammers that he kept leaving around. Eventually my friend and I decided to play T-Rex with him, removed our Avis (saved them first thankfully) and went AFK for a good 30 minutes while we waited for him to leave. It worked but I was livid because I had to constantly move around because he kept changing the animations on the furniture thus causing me to lose the angles for shadows and lighting and what not. 

[sirhc DeSantis]

2 hours ago, Waisting said:

At least he managed to speak to you. I had  an instance where I was taking a couple of photos for an upcoming product of mine and someone straight up popped up right in the middle of the shoot, right after I had gotten everything set up. My friend and I politely asked him to leave because we figured maybe he just forgot to teleport elsewhere before logging off or something but he was of course a troll. Thankfully I was able to defender him but it made the shoot excruciatingly long because I had to defender all of his particle spammers that he kept leaving around. Eventually my friend and I decided to play T-Rex with him, removed our Avis (saved them first thankfully) and went AFK for a good 30 minutes while we waited for him to leave. It worked but I was livid because I had to constantly move around because he kept changing the animations on the furniture thus causing me to lose the angles for shadows and lighting and what not. 

And you could not just eject/ban because... no wait I got this... hold on... it wasn't your place?