kali Wylder Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 1 hour ago, Gatogateau said: Some people really don't have anything I want to read. Anything. At all. Irrelevant. But we all know you're nicer than I am, Kali. My BS meter is set too low for people who have proven themselves to be annoying gnats time and time again. I've never learned to suffer fools gladly or otherwise, and I'm not sure why we are supposed to suffer them. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AyelaNewLife Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 (edited) A discipline I've tried to take up is to intentionally separate my thoughts about a person's post or set of posts, and about the entirety of their character. Frequently I find myself reaching that point of not seeing how an individual could ever contribute meaningfully to any discussion, as they seem so disconnected from reality, or inane, or petty, or spiteful. And yet almost as frequently, that same person will, in another thread and hours later, make some coherent, insightful and helpful comments. It would be intellectually dishonest if I let my annoyance at their bad posts affect the way I see their good ones; and I'd only be the poorer for it if I cut them out entirely. The other discipline I've tried (not always successfully) to take up is to know when it's worth responding, and when it's best just to let it go. Sometimes you'll see a reply which is just outright wrong; but even if it was right, it was irrelevant; and even if it was relevant it would still be spiteful. What do I have to gain by engaging, by fighting back? Often, the best response is to just let that noise pass you by. If it matters, someone else will answer for you; if it doesn't matter, then you didn't need to respond anyway. Either way, rising above the mud is usually the better course of action... even if it's not my instinctive one. I'm not always the greatest at the above. But I try to be, at least. Edited June 6, 2020 by AyelaNewLife I did typo 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amina Sopwith Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 41 minutes ago, AyelaNewLife said: A discipline I've tried to take up is to intentionally separate my thoughts about a person's post or set of posts, and about the entirety of their character. Frequently I find myself reaching that point of not seeing how an individual could ever contribute meaningfully to any discussion, as they seem so disconnected from reality, or inane, or petty, or spiteful. And yet almost as frequently, that same person will, in another thread and hours later, make some coherent, insightful and helpful comments. It would be intellectually dishonest if I let my annoyance at their bad posts affect the way I see their good ones; and I'd only be the poorer for it if I cut them out entirely. Yes, that's another reason I don't use ignore. I may not want to interact with someone but that doesn't mean I don't think they have anything to contribute to discussions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Bliss Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 2 hours ago, AyelaNewLife said: A discipline I've tried to take up is to intentionally separate my thoughts about a person's post or set of posts, and about the entirety of their character. It would be intellectually dishonest if I let my annoyance at their bad posts affect the way I see their good ones; and I'd only be the poorer for it if I cut them out entirely. There's so much black and white thinking going on in general, and this is an example of it -- totally trashing and invalidating another via cutting them off completely because they express some thoughts we don't want to hear. As you say, it's making a judgement about the entirety of their character. I'm afraid this is the mindset of a toddler, especially when there are frequent announcements exclaiming that the offending person is blocked. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sukubia Scarmon Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 9 hours ago, Gatogateau said: "They" are learning more about a disorder called misophonia. It is very interesting reading, if you look it up. A common peeve is listening to people chew. They are learning it really does make people freak out. Symptoms vary but it can be incapacitating if severe. I have a little of it myself. Potato chips can be a problem. My Boyfriend has misophonia - he gets super angry if he hears someone snoring, which is why we don't sleep in one bed when we're together - I do snore, heh. Another friend of mine has it, but with people breathing to loud. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gatogateau Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 4 hours ago, AyelaNewLife said: A discipline I've tried to take up is to intentionally separate my thoughts about a person's post or set of posts, and about the entirety of their character. Frequently I find myself reaching that point of not seeing how an individual could ever contribute meaningfully to any discussion, as they seem so disconnected from reality, or inane, or petty, or spiteful. And yet almost as frequently, that same person will, in another thread and hours later, make some coherent, insightful and helpful comments. It would be intellectually dishonest if I let my annoyance at their bad posts affect the way I see their good ones; and I'd only be the poorer for it if I cut them out entirely. And sometimes a banana is just a banana, by which I mean, there are people who in the Forum and even real life, repeatedly, through thread over thread, show themselves to be the same old same old. How much crap does one have to wade through before reading a kernel of truth, like "the sun rises in the east"? There's no intellectual dishonesty in recognizing that the odds of hearing a blip of brilliance out of an infinity of drivel isn't worth it. If someone says something so enlightening that the skies part and the angels sing in this Forum, then I'm pretty sure news of it would spread and I'd be informed. Everyone's BS meter is set at different levels. Some people are just toxic. Some have proven that for years, over various forums and platforms. I also have a background of having been the target of intense and ugly trolling in the Forum for over six years and possibly still counting by some. When you've experienced that (and I've not seen anything like it before or since) maybe your attitudes would shift, too. It also depends upon how much and how soon you're talking about hitting that block button. I've yammered on that I have not blocked anyone in over ten years of participation in the forums until recently. I did not decide to block anyone lightly, for the reasons you state and also because I prefer to know what most of the idiots are saying. If you are talking about hitting the block button because someone said, "Catwa heads are icky" and you just love Catwa heads, then, yeah, you're being a bit premature and intellectually questionable to hit the block button over that. I know, that's a silly example, but I *have* seen instances where the immediate blocking of people has happened (presumably). In the couple of instances where I think that may have happened it caused even more problems because things that might have stopped a misunderstanding were never seen by all parties. You also have to wonder about how many people are blocked. You get to a certain level and pretty soon you're talking to yourself. In my years of saying "scrolling works" one of my points was "if you have so many people blocked, how can you possibly follow the flow of a thread?" There's one poster I have in mind who it seems like has every verbal woman blocked, which, um, is the majority of the forum, so his threads must be pretty short reads. I've made no bones over the "fact" that I'm a cynical optimist (I'm cynical because I'm a frustrated optimist.) and a misanthrope (because I'm a frustrated optimist). I do, however, bristle at the notion that by blocking a few turds who have proven over vast amounts of territory and topics to be turds, is somehow being intellectually dishonest. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selene Gregoire Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 Sure, I'll unblock all the people. Then I'll have a choice. Get banned because certain posters just can't resist pushing buttons or leave the forum. Either way it gives them what they want. Eff that. Especially when one of them brought crap from another forum to this one, making false accusations, instead of leaving it all in the past where it had been for over 5 years. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AyelaNewLife Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 50 minutes ago, Gatogateau said: I do, however, bristle at the notion that by blocking a few turds who have proven over vast amounts of territory and topics to be turds, is somehow being intellectually dishonest. Just to clear this bit up - as I do like you, Seicher - but I wrote that part in first person intentionally. There was an unspoken YMMV there. All I was describing was how I saw my own approach to things; not judging anyone else's, even if it seemed that way. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gatogateau Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 2 minutes ago, AyelaNewLife said: Just to clear this bit up - as I do like you, Seicher - but I wrote that part in first person intentionally. There was an unspoken YMMV there. All I was describing was how I saw my own approach to things; not judging anyone else's, even if it seemed that way. Thank you, and to clear things up further, I've now read several things by several people that while not saying "intellectually dishonest" verbatim have voiced similar things, right after I posted what I (originally) wrote. So, yeah, I attached my comment to your post but it was after my eye started twitching from several. And yes, bottom line, YMMV for all of this. Whatever works for each, because there's a whole lotta different experiences and histories and pesky BS meters to contend with. We're good. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyssa Greymoon Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 5 hours ago, Amina Sopwith said: Yes, that's another reason I don't use ignore. I may not want to interact with someone but that doesn't mean I don't think they have anything to contribute to discussions. I may eventually take people off ignore, but for the time being I don't think the chances of them contributing anything of value outweigh the potential harm of continuing to interact with them. I'd like to be all noble and just scroll paste the fire hose of idiocy, but I can resist anything but temptation. Maybe they have something useful to contribute, but I didn't see it before adding them to the list and I'll just risk missing that gem of wisdom at the bottom of a mountain of poo filled with razor blades. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gatogateau Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 Regarding blocking people, it was said (above) "As you say, it's making a judgement about the entirety of their character." Yes, at some point, yes it most certainly is, when that character has shown itself consistently for a long period of time, you betcha. It is the intelligent decision (to block/censor) of a mature adult to be able to discern BS as the BS it is and not to submit one's self to BS for no good reason. Some people are irrelevant to me. I'm very OK with that. YMMV as they say. Maybe people who view my decision and my actions as "toddler" moves should, oh I don't know. . . block me? The world in general would be a better place. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amina Sopwith Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 17 minutes ago, Lyssa Greymoon said: I may eventually take people off ignore, but for the time being I don't think the chances of them contributing anything of value outweigh the potential harm of continuing to interact with them. I'd like to be all noble and just scroll paste the fire hose of idiocy, but I can resist anything but temptation. Maybe they have something useful to contribute, but I didn't see it before adding them to the list and I'll just risk missing that gem of wisdom at the bottom of a mountain of poo filled with razor blades. Well I can understand that. I suppose it depends on why you've got them on ignore, be it blocked by the function or the silent scroll. In my case, with one exception, it isn't because I think they have nothing to contribute, but I don't care to interact. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy Evanier Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 Today I learnt what YMMV means 😎 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gatogateau Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 11 minutes ago, Cindy Evanier said: Today I learnt what YMMV means 😎 So who said the forums can't be educational? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindal Kidd Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 11 minutes ago, Cindy Evanier said: Today I learnt what YMMV means 😎 Thanks, Cindy, that reminds me of one of MY pet peeves: Internet acronyms. Some of them I get, and their meaning sticks in my mind, and I even use them. "Your Mileage May Vary" (YMMV) is one of them. "I Am Not A Lawyer" (IANAL) is another. But some of them I don't know, and somehow I can never retain their meaning. I have to keep looking them up. "Shaking My Head" (SMH) is one of them. "Too Long, Didn't Read" (TL:DNR) is another. There are good reasons for the creation and use of acronyms, but in my view they are seriously over-used. Language ought to be primarily for accurate communication. Demosthenes knew this, but we seem to have forgotten it. A lot of today's acronyms are like Demosthenes's mouthful of pebbles. Spit 'em out. 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyssa Greymoon Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 Just now, Lindal Kidd said: "I Am Not A Lawyer" (IANAL) is another. Wait, what, that's what it means? Oh dear God... this is catastrophically bad news. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy Evanier Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 1 minute ago, Lyssa Greymoon said: Wait, what, that's what it means? Oh dear God... this is catastrophically bad news. I always thought it was a typo for ... nvm oh look a pony 👼 2 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dano Seale Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 (edited) 34 minutes ago, Cindy Evanier said: Today I learnt what YMMV means 😎 Lucky you! I'm still hypothetically sticking pins into certain fluffy effigies! Edit: Finally! Thanks Lindal. Edited June 6, 2020 by Dano Seale my anger has been calmed! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleMe Jewell Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 6 hours ago, Amina Sopwith said: Yes, that's another reason I don't use ignore. I may not want to interact with someone but that doesn't mean I don't think they have anything to contribute to discussions. I used that approach for a long time -- and there are some that I would have ignored, that I have on occasion gotten into a dialog with about something. Recently though, for my own sanity - and to keep from getting myself banned - I decided that a few folks just needed to be pretty much ignored for a while. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleMe Jewell Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 9 minutes ago, Cindy Evanier said: 12 minutes ago, Lyssa Greymoon said: 14 minutes ago, Lindal Kidd said: "I Am Not A Lawyer" (IANAL) is another. Wait, what, that's what it means? Oh dear God... this is catastrophically bad news. I always thought it was a typo for ... nvm oh look a pony 👼 For the longest time, I was sure I knew what the last part meant and just could figure out why the I was there and what it meant. I don't remember when I learned the truth, but every time I see it, I still mostly just see the last four letters and thus still do not automatically put that real meaning to it. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolig Loon Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 Acronyms are handy at times. I use LOL regularly, and BTW. Probably a few others that I can't think of at the moment (Oh, ATM is another one). I might have used YMMV a couple of times, but it's not one that leaps to mind. Neither is TL:DR, which is a snide put-down, or IANAL, which isn't one of those things I say even without an acronym. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who has to look up SMH, Lindal -- I can't seem to remember that one no matter how many times I have learned it, and I don't think I have ever used it myself. The real problem is that I am such a lousy typist that half the things my fingers create look like acronyms. If I start adding real acronyms like that, I go crazy proofreading before I hit the Submit button. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gatogateau Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 23 minutes ago, Lindal Kidd said: Thanks, Cindy, that reminds me of one of MY pet peeves: Internet acronyms. Some of them I get, and their meaning sticks in my mind, and I even use them. "Your Mileage May Vary" (YMMV) is one of them. "I Am Not A Lawyer" (IANAL) is another. But some of them I don't know, and somehow I can never retain their meaning. I have to keep looking them up. "Shaking My Head" (SMH) is one of them. "Too Long, Didn't Read" (TL:DNR) is another. There are good reasons for the creation and use of acronyms, but in my view they are seriously over-used. Language ought to be primarily for accurate communication. Demosthenes knew this, but we seem to have forgotten it. A lot of today's acronyms are like Demosthenes's mouthful of pebbles. Spit 'em out. oh ffs. stfu. no no jk! ikr? smh @ tla tho ymmv. ♥ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy Evanier Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 2 minutes ago, Gatogateau said: oh ffs. stfu. no no jk! ikr? smh @ tla tho ymmv. ♥ ILU? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dano Seale Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleMe Jewell Posted June 6, 2020 Share Posted June 6, 2020 3 minutes ago, Gatogateau said: oh ffs. stfu. no no jk! ikr? smh @ tla tho ymmv. ♥ Ugh, you lost me on 'tla' I'm with a few others in that the meaning of 'smh' does not always jump right into my mind. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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