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What are some of your pet peeves?


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26 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:

Is it not annoying? I understand that you still see a box for their comments, just now with a big sign saying "THERE IS STUFF HERE YOU CAN'T SEE" or words to that effect. I'd rather just ignore someone. It's difficult sometimes to resist the bait but I don't think a big sign saying, "BAIT HERE VISIBLE TO EVERYONE BUT YOU" would be much easier.  Plus I understand you still see what they say when someone quotes them. I think the only time I'd block would be if they were bothering me directly with IMs, but that's never happened.

I think you only see that box -- stuff is here -- if the person you blocked quotes you.  I blocked someone a short while back and vaguely remember seeing something like that.

Typically I will just scroll past and ignore on my own.  Sometimes, when I'm in a mood, I'll short term block someone so that it is easier for me to not engage - because when I'm in a mood, I typically want to argue.

Edited by LittleMe Jewell
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On 4/5/2020 at 4:23 PM, LittleMe Jewell said:

People that insist on dropping political commentary into almost every thread they comment on.

Which is why I started the thread to vent about COVID 19, because a lot of those conversations are political. I think it is reasonable for people to vent about the politics of the pandemic. But, yeah, people have been arguing politics in the GD Forum since...ever. I don't generally mind it, and I've been known to do it, but ffs not in every effing thread, right? I am a big proponent of just scrolling past any derail comments if I don't want to read them, and I wish more people would do that. I've seen more panties get twisted over slight side conversations in a thread. But again, there does get to be a point where it should be, by common sense "not in this thread." If I go to a thread that is supposed to be about unicorns and butterflies, I may expect to see kinda weird comments about the best recipe for roast unicorn (the Forumites rarely fail to perform like that), but I don't want to read sixty pages about the pros and cons of democratic socialism. That goes beyond the scope of scrolling past a few side topics.

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22 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

I think you only see that box -- stuff is here -- if the person you blocked quotes you.  I blocked someone a short while back and vaguely remember seeing something like that.

Typically I will just scroll past and ignore on my own.  Sometimes, when I'm in a mood, I'll short term block someone so that it is easier for me to not engage - because when I'm in a mood, I typically want to argue.

I'm so confused. I rarely, and I do mean rarely, block anyone. It comes down to two reasons: I can't be arsed and I'm of the belief I'd rather know what the idiots are saying. 

But I remember once or twice getting that "tee-hee sekret post stuffs here" and had no idea what it was about, but figgered it had to do with someone else blocking me. But if it was me blocking them, wtf am I getting up to when I am not paying attention? Who did I block? When? Crud.

ETA: I just checked my "ignore" list here on the Forum and as suspected it is blank. That probably surprises people. Psyche! I have the technology and mad skills to ignore people the old fashioned way. :) Also ETA: Went inworld and there are only two people on my blocked list. (Posting that will probably increase that number, sigh.) And not people any of you would guess. One is a troll who does post here sometimes and who also stole my copyrighted images and posted them without permission while writing slurs about them on Flickr, the other is the noob I mentioned some months ago who became abusive after I spent time, energy and Lindens helping him.

Edited by Seicher Rae
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"Can I ask you a question?"

You just did, so what was the point in asking for permission?

This applies to RL too, obviously. It really shouldn't bother me as much as it does, but it drives me crazy. You're always free to ask--whether or not I'll answer is another story and dependent on the question itself, but you can always ask.

It's such a pointless and ironic question that has no real purpose or value without providing any additional context, and my response will depend on the nature of the question anyway. I'd much rather you just get to the point.

 

 

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19 minutes ago, YokaiClock said:

"Can I ask you a question?"

You just did, so what was the point in asking for permission?

This applies to RL too, obviously. It really shouldn't bother me as much as it does, but it drives me crazy. You're always free to ask--whether or not I'll answer is another story and dependent on the question itself, but you can always ask.

It's such a pointless and ironic question that has no real purpose or value without providing any additional context, and my response will depend on the nature of the question anyway. I'd much rather you just get to the point.

lol I can become impatient with this behavior too at times, more so when I'm busy -- especially the random 'hi' when someone doesn't state what they want.

But I think we do this so as to 'soften up' an interaction a bit. Being too direct and blunt can feel invasive. So a little social dance occurs before the heart of the matter is revealed.

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1 hour ago, Skell Dagger said:

People who are rude and sarcastic when others are trying to help them.

Brilliant - that thread is soooooo funny ! I reckon the OP needed ... (oh I am sorry, I am nice Marigold today and really cannot say, besides I am finding it hard to type for laughing). ... nah, it sounded like the OP was being dragged down to hell for some reason! And all the minus votes too, just emphasised that point.

Edited by Marigold Devin
devils horns poking out of my head
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49 minutes ago, YokaiClock said:

"Can I ask you a question?"

You just did, so what was the point in asking for permission?

This applies to RL too, obviously. It really shouldn't bother me as much as it does, but it drives me crazy. You're always free to ask--whether or not I'll answer is another story and dependent on the question itself, but you can always ask.

It's such a pointless and ironic question that has no real purpose or value without providing any additional context, and my response will depend on the nature of the question anyway. I'd much rather you just get to the point.

 

 

I always get suspicious, when people, that I haven't known for long or even just met, say something like this. Usually the question will be something nasty.

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3 minutes ago, Syo Emerald said:

I always get suspicious, when people, that I haven't known for long or even just met, say something like this. Usually the question will be something nasty.

Wow Syo, we must live in different worlds. I don't think I've ever gotten a nasty question when someone asked if it was okay to ask a question   :)

Thinking about what I do, at least some of the time, when I need to ask a question out of the blue, I say "hey, I've got a question for you".

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4 minutes ago, Syo Emerald said:

I always get suspicious, when people, that I haven't known for long or even just met, say something like this. Usually the question will be something nasty.

On the other hand, I find it annoying when a total stranger asks me a question out of the blue without taking the time to begin with a polite social segue, like "Excuse me .."

Starting with "May I ask a question?" is just another gentle way of apologizing for interrupting the person and assuring that you want nothing more than the answer to a question -- no long conversation, no request for a handout, no political diatribe, just a simple question. It's rude and pedantic to reply with a snippy "You just did."

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Oldbies that should know better than to lurk like the perverts they obviously are on Social Island sims waiting for what they think are unsuspecting newbies landing for the first time in world. 

I created a new avatar today, and felt bombarded by morons (because I was bombarded by morons) the moment I landed at a Social Island sim. One even invited me to join some kind of a sex cult - I don't want sex with God or the devil or your pet dog, thank you very much, but how nice of you to ask! 

 

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2 minutes ago, Sardonyx Mysterious said:

I desperately wish I hadn’t read this. It is going to be very intimidating going back in world. Meh.

Yeah. My point, I guess, is that there's always someone that's going to be annoyed when you ask a question.  There's no way to win.  In the grand scheme of things, though, it's a petty annoyance.  They'll get over it. 😉

 

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13 minutes ago, Marigold Devin said:

Oldbies that should know better than to lurk like the perverts they obviously are on Social Island sims waiting for what they think are unsuspecting newbies landing for the first time in world. 

I created a new avatar today, and felt bombarded by morons (because I was bombarded by morons) the moment I landed at a Social Island sim. One even invited me to join some kind of a sex cult - I don't want sex with God or the devil or your pet dog, thank you very much, but how nice of you to ask! 

 

I got hit on at Welcome Island, or whatever it was called back in the day, within minutes of arriving in 2008, so that's almost a tradition, I suppose.

The really annoying thing about it was that I foolishly took up an offer of "help" from someone who was primarily interested in showing off his "fully-equipped" beach house and "record collection" (oh, and dungeon skybox), and missed out on the useful info I might have received from mentors had I stuck around.

It's really odd to me that LL has never, apparently, been able to find a solution to this problem.

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2 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I got hit on at Welcome Island, or whatever it was called back in the day, within minutes of arriving in 2008, so that's almost a tradition, I suppose.

The really annoying thing about it was that I foolishly took up an offer of "help" from someone who was primarily interested in showing off his "fully-equipped" beach house and "record collection" (oh, and dungeon skybox), and missed out on the useful info I might have received from mentors had I stuck around.

It's really odd to me that LL has never, apparently, been able to find a solution to this problem.

Crikey, I was so very lucky in my early days of Second Life. November 2007, first bunch of people I met all went dancing/camping to Boonootoo. We met up each day, earned a few L$ while chatting and sharing landmarks, showing each other places. My "home" was Korea3, where a really lovely chap introduced me to Lost Gardens of Apollo (he was one of the caretakers there), and at a random teleport I met a sweet/weird non-pervy German man who really was my mentor.  

But yes, I find it very odd too that LL has never seemed to get round to finding a solution. They did have those rather smashing Help sims at one bit, manned I think by volunteers, but I think even then a few oldbie perverts landed for pick up newbie and corrupt them purposes. I tell you, I've had less weird propositions from guys in sex clubs than I've had in welcome/social hubs.

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14 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I got hit on at Welcome Island, or whatever it was called back in the day, within minutes of arriving in 2008, so that's almost a tradition, I suppose.

The really annoying thing about it was that I foolishly took up an offer of "help" from someone who was primarily interested in showing off his "fully-equipped" beach house and "record collection" (oh, and dungeon skybox), and missed out on the useful info I might have received from mentors had I stuck around.

It's really odd to me that LL has never, apparently, been able to find a solution to this problem.

I had exactly the same experience.   In hindsight I think it actually taught me a lot more about looking out for myself than any real mentor would have.  

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1 minute ago, Marigold Devin said:

Crikey, I was so very lucky in my early days of Second Life. November 2007, first bunch of people I met all went dancing/camping to Boonootoo. We met up each day, earned a few L$ while chatting and sharing landmarks, showing each other places. My "home" was Korea3, where a really lovely chap introduced me to Lost Gardens of Apollo (he was one of the caretakers there), and at a random teleport I met a sweet/weird non-pervy German man who really was my mentor.

I realized pretty quickly what was up ("quickly" meaning, I suppose, about 15 minutes), accepted a friendship request from him, made my excuses, and then TPed away somewhere random. Weirdly, he was my first SL "friend" -- and he's still on my list, and still active in SL. I see him pop up quite frequently. I haven't spoken to him since that first encounter, and I've been "hidden" from him for years and years. And there's no way he'd remember who I was. It's pretty funny though.

I was pretty lucky, though, and within a few days had settled pretty comfortably into two very sociable and welcoming communities, one of which was a very popular cafe, and the other a children's playground with trivia where I could earn money, and which also had a very nice and very welcoming group of regulars. Both places were very much the foundation for my friends list early on, and were "home" (especially the cafe) for a couple of years after.

I also, a little later, stumbled upon an LQBTQ sex sim. I wasn't at all interested in the sex part of it, but the people there made up the most welcoming, adorably sweet, accepting, and drama-free community I've ever known. There was a dance pole set up in the center of a campfire, and everyone would just sit around it, taking turns on the dance pole while chatting and complimenting in a wonderfully supportive way whoever was dancing. I only hung out there for a few months, but it was a really instructive and lovely introduction to what community can be like in SL. And the only time I was actually approached for sex there was by someone who very tentatively IMed me to ask something along the lines of "You aren't by any chance gay in SL, are you?" Her response was almost apologetic when I replied that I wasn't, and we became friends. SUCH a contrast to the opening lines I get at clubs.

14 minutes ago, Marigold Devin said:

But yes, I find it very odd too that LL has never seemed to get round to finding a solution. They did have those rather smashing Help sims at one bit, manned I think by volunteers, but I think even then a few oldbie perverts landed for pick up newbie and corrupt them purposes. I tell you, I've had less weird propositions from guys in sex clubs than I've had in welcome/social hubs.

I suppose it would cost money to monitor and police welcome areas? And, arguably, I suppose it's "help" of a sort for people who do come to SL for that, but I'd have thought a bit of education about how things work here would be a good thing before throwing the lambs to the wolves.

I do think, though, that it's a retention issue. How many people, particularly women (do men get hit up in welcome areas too????), leave immediately in disgust, never to come back again, because they've been given the impression that SL is really just an online sex site?

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7 minutes ago, Cindy Evanier said:

In hindsight I think it actually taught me a lot more about looking out for myself than any real mentor would have.

Actually, yes, there's some truth to that. It was a crash course in interpersonal relations in SL!

I suspect that not everyone would feel that way, though.

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1 hour ago, Rolig Loon said:

On the other hand, I find it annoying when a total stranger asks me a question out of the blue without taking the time to begin with a polite social segue, like "Excuse me .."

Starting with "May I ask a question?" is just another gentle way of apologizing for interrupting the person and assuring that you want nothing more than the answer to a question -- no long conversation, no request for a handout, no political diatribe, just a simple question. It's rude and pedantic to reply with a snippy "You just did."

I'll approach strangers with questions, but those questions are about them, not me. There's often something interesting going on in the Ivory Tower sandbox and I'm not shy about chatting up the people doing it. After watching a fella building, stick by stick (and to RL scale), a small home, I asked him if he was going to build a real version of the design. He was. The following conversation lasted a half hour.

A few days ago, I found myself in the company of three wandering afros. They were burning off quarantine stress. They were hilarious, I told them so, and invited a friend to witness the spectacle. That resulted in us being gifted the afro, their silly running animation, and the handprint particle generators you see on the left. We all danced together for a few minutes before parting.

Hair!.thumb.jpg.51e14c12ab486fac678ec4b3ef4f6e46.jpg

When I engage people out of the blue, it's with the intention of making my interruption worth their time. So far, so good.

Edited by Madelaine McMasters
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I was (am) totally naive, always expecting the best from people whenever I meet them, expecting just versions of myself.  Once I was charmed by a well turned out French man (again only within the first few weeks of me being in Second Life), and he took me to his chateau, walked me along his private beach, and then asked me to "sit" on a ball, where his avatar seemed to want to chew my face off. I TP'd out directly, was disconcerted about not being able to get out of the sitting position, logged out. I laugh about it now, but I think that triggered off a real life memory of when I was 16, in my first job, and after a Christmas party, myself and another girl of 17 were invited into the executive dining room "for a Christmas drink", which silly naive us thought meant that, when in fact we were both grabbed by 50+ year old middle managers from visiting companies, hauled onto their "laps" ! Normal in the late-1970s, but never acceptable. And management or not, they got ANGRY MARI as I grabbed my friend and ran as fast as I could out of the room. *shudders at the memory*

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8 minutes ago, Marigold Devin said:

I laugh about it now, but I think that triggered off a real life memory

Ugh.

I think that this is something that those who dismissively laugh off this kind of thing too often don't get: that it can, usually, admittedly, in a mild way, be somewhat triggering. At the very least, it's too much like what we sometimes have experienced in RL to be simply shrugged off.

A month or so ago a guy I'd been dancing with on occasion (and only dancing with) invited me to a region he'd found, and I TPed into a very nice looking sort of library room, where he was sitting in an easy chair. He suggested I grab a seat, and I tried to sit on another chair, only to discover myself sitting on his lap.

Wow, was I p***ed off.

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3 hours ago, Skell Dagger said:

People who are rude and sarcastic when others are trying to help them.

You DO have the patience of a saint. FFS that was just blatantly rotten from the get-go. Yeesh. I have worked in RL CSR for a while, and front office (which is a lot of CSR) and honestly, people suck. I do actually enjoy helping people, and on a couple of my jobs which had to do with some pretty serious health and financial issues I would get immediate gratification from the customers, via happy crying, praise, thank yous, etc. Those were highlights. A lot of people were neither-nor, just help them and send them on their way as they wave thanks/good-bye. But the folks who came in with nasty attitudes from the start? Ick. Sometimes you can turn them around to the happy happy thank you people and that feels good, but a lot of times they are just miserable sods. I haven't been in CSR in years, and I can't imagine ever doing that again. My experience has made me patient with CSRs and pleasant, but it also has allowed me to recognize when someone doesn't give a sh*t and is just going through the motions. I'm less pleasant then, but hopefully never the grumpy miserable sod.

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17 minutes ago, Marigold Devin said:

 that triggered off a real life memory of when I was 16, in my first job, and after a Christmas party, myself and another girl of 17 were invited into the executive dining room "for a Christmas drink", which silly naive us thought meant that, when in fact we were both grabbed by 50+ year old middle managers from visiting companies, hauled onto their "laps" ! Normal in the late-1970s, but never acceptable. And management or not, they got ANGRY MARI as I grabbed my friend and ran as fast as I could out of the room. *shudders at the memory*

mmhmm. I was very briefly a waitress when I was in my teens. I'd been working for about two weeks when some old idjit really grabbed my as* while I was serving near him. Totally reflexively, without thinking, I hauled off and slapped him. Hard. :) I don't remember the details. He must have complained. I remember explaining "I was grabbed" to the manager. I remember "fired." It makes me laugh today and very proud of my teenaged self.

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