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What are some of your pet peeves?

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group with 200-250 l fee and no gifts, but just notices about collabs which restricted to another group with 500 l fee

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6 hours ago, Donna Underall said:

Well, I love when a guy dresses well.  I think it shows he cares and is invested in SL enough to be interesting.

I do remember getting irritated in the past when nooby, Lego-like men were swarming around expecting to cop off with good looking female avs that had clearly had some effort and expense put into them. I would never criticise a man for working on his av. I'm actually surprised to hear that many women do. How very rude and snotty.

 

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1 minute ago, Amina Sopwith said:

I'm actually surprised to hear that many women do.

I'd be cautious about inferring that "many' women are rude and snotty like that. In the absence of any data whatsoever, I am inclined to believe that our attention is drawn to a few outspoken, visible people when a claim like that is made. We assume that they represent a much larger crowd.  They might be, but it's not fair to assume the worst when all you have is anecdotal observations. Even then, it's not fair to paint all members of any group with the same brush.  Sadly, that's where an argument like this can often end up.

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2 minutes ago, Rolig Loon said:

I'd be cautious about inferring that "many' women are rude and snotty like that. In the absence of any data whatsoever, I am inclined to believe that our attention is drawn to a few outspoken, visible people when a claim like that is made. We assume that they represent a much larger crowd.  They might be, but it's not fair to assume the worst when all you have is anecdotal observations. Even then, it's not fair to paint all members of any group with the same brush.  Sadly, that's where an argument like this can often end up.

True, I bet.  Like we notice the creepy loud mouth guys and might think there were more of them than there really are.

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18 hours ago, Skell Dagger said:

Okay, I'm biting here, and I'm really biting. It's a good job this forum doesn't allow swearing. Luckily, my blog does, so have a post I wrote a while ago about this kind of thing. (The start of the title is a generic one and it's aimed at anyone I need to vent about, not just women.) Sadly, nothing has changed.

Pet peeve: Women who belittle men's attempts at dressing well, or who go on about how men don't have a clue or don't care about looking good, or who think it's funny to joke about how men are stupid and can't get to grips with things like Bento mesh heads, or...

I am so thoroughly sick and damned tired of that attitude. Ladies, it's unlike me not to behave like a gentleman toward every woman, but quit with that BS, please.

Yeah, those women suck. The only time I have a problem and critique how a man( and a woman) looks is if they haven't bothered to update their avi's since the the day they joined. especially the elder accounts that have been around 10+ years and still wear sculpt and prim clothing, sculpt hair, no AO, etc etc. I don't however ridicule people who make an effort ( Unless they criticize me and are rude about, then they're fair game xDDD)

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2 hours ago, Klaineanderson said:

group with 200-250 l fee and no gifts, but just notices about collabs which restricted to another group with 500 l fee

Or groups that you have to pay and there is absolutely NO notices, NO gifts and NO chat option and the group owner NEVER answers your IM OR notecard. I mean why have a group????

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7 hours ago, Callum Meriman said:

We read it differently.

Callum, I am to be honest completely mystified by your reading of my post. No one here has been justifying this behaviour.

I think my post is clear enough as it stands. And Ayela, Amina, and Syo have done a better job of responding to your objections than I probably would have, so we'll just leave it there.

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45 minutes ago, Rolig Loon said:

I'd be cautious about inferring that "many' women are rude and snotty like that. In the absence of any data whatsoever, I am inclined to believe that our attention is drawn to a few outspoken, visible people when a claim like that is made. We assume that they represent a much larger crowd.  They might be, but it's not fair to assume the worst when all you have is anecdotal observations. Even then, it's not fair to paint all members of any group with the same brush.  Sadly, that's where an argument like this can often end up.

Yeah, that's probably true. I'm basing it on one poster's personal experience and it did surprise me as it's not something I've come across. Women complaining about lazy male avs who chase well-worked female ones is definitely something I've seen more of, and experienced myself.
 

43 minutes ago, Donna Underall said:

True, I bet.  Like we notice the creepy loud mouth guys and might think there were more of them than there really are.

No, there really genuinely is a metric fark ton of these. A minority of men, of course, but still a considerable number, in both RL and SL. 

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31 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:

I'm basing it on one poster's personal experience and it did surprise me as it's not something I've come across.

As the only male CSR in the Catwa support group, believe me it's not just my own personal experience. I get a lot (and I mean a lot, as do the other CSRs) of IMs from guys asking me for help because they don't want to speak up in group, mainly because of the pile-ons that the women who took part in thought were just funny. I used to cringe at them and comment when I could, but now - luckily - I have the professional ability to nip them in the bud.

Just before Christmas, for example:

Quote

Skell Dagger: I made two videos for people who may have edited either the Slink or Signature bodies and/or their Catwa head. The one I pasted here is the video for Signature and Catwa. When we get a mis-match that may be due to tinting it's recommended to check tinting on both head and body, just to be sure 🙂
Skell Dagger: I should re-do the Signature one, since the HUD now looks a bit different and some people may be confused by that.
[name redacted]: they are men will always be confused
[name redacted]: lmao.

Skell Dagger: /me raises an eyebrow at [name]. Let's not go there with the "men are stupid" meme, please.
[name redacted]: you  got it.sorry bad joke
[name redacted]: lol

That's just one example. I could give a lot more. And behaviour like that - if nobody steps in to squash it - often does develop into a 'jokey' pile-on. The result? Men are afraid to ask questions in chat, because they don't want to look like fools. I've actually been told as much by these guys. They want to look good, but 'jokes' like the one quoted there cause them to hang back in chat.

Want some more? How about...

Quote

[name redacted]: seeing a lot of guys around SL shirtless because they can't dress themselves gets tedious

Or this maybe?

Quote

[name redacted]: lol
[name redacted]: a lot of guys are clueless
[name redacted]: they should stick to just not f*****g s**t up
[name redacted]: but that was kind of the point of mens s**t being so simple
[name redacted]: and many guys still cant figure it out

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Posted (edited)
6 minutes ago, Skell Dagger said:

As the only male CSR in the Catwa support group, believe me it's not just my own personal experience. I get a lot (and I mean a lot, as do the other CSRs) of IMs from guys asking me for help because they don't want to speak up in group, mainly because of the pile-ons that the women who took part in thought were just funny. I used to cringe at them and comment when I could, but now - luckily - I have the professional ability to nip them in the bud.

Just before Christmas, for example:

That's just one example. I could give a lot more. And behaviour like that - if nobody steps in to squash it - often does develop into a 'jokey' pile-on. The result? Men are afraid to ask questions in chat, because they don't want to look like fools. I've actually been told as much by these guys. They want to look good, but 'jokes' like the one quoted there cause them to hang back in chat.

Want some more? How about...

Or this maybe?

Well, they are rude and snotty.

ETA: No idea why it won't quote the full post. 

Edited by Amina Sopwith

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Actually, I’m a bit mystified myself (almost to the point of a pet peeve, yes) about the whole notion of people with sophisticated avatars scoffing at being approached by those with cruder ones. I’ve talked to plenty who were more than interesting and nice enough, and I couldn’t care less if they’re still on a default av from 10 years ago; just as I’ve talked to many others who managed a very good one after less than a month, either with help or on their own, but were total idiots otherwise. Maybe I’m weird but, for me, avatar-making prowess is barely worth a once-over, and certainly not something I feel I have to make into a personal requirement.

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2 minutes ago, Ren Toxx said:

Actually, I’m a bit mystified myself (almost to the point of a pet peeve, yes) about the whole notion of people with sophisticated avatars scoffing at being approached by those with cruder ones. I’ve talked to plenty who were more than interesting and nice enough, and I couldn’t care less if they’re still on a default av from 10 years ago; just as I’ve talked to many others who managed a very good one after less than a month, either with help or on their own, but were total idiots otherwise. Maybe I’m weird but, for me, avatar-making prowess is barely worth a once-over, and certainly not something I feel I have to make into a personal requirement.

I agree. I was recently having a conversation with a noob and was messaged by a 4 year old avi asking why I was talking to them, and it's more than silly. Being new at second life doesn't mean you're a brand new just born infant person with nothing of interest in your life so you can't hold a conversation. If you're asking me why I'd bother talking to a month old avatar, I'm going to wonder if all you talk about is game mechanics. No, they don't know a lot about how SL works, but he gave me a damn good recipe for moussaka. 

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Posted (edited)
26 minutes ago, Ren Toxx said:

Actually, I’m a bit mystified myself (almost to the point of a pet peeve, yes) about the whole notion of people with sophisticated avatars scoffing at being approached by those with cruder ones. I’ve talked to plenty who were more than interesting and nice enough, and I couldn’t care less if they’re still on a default av from 10 years ago; just as I’ve talked to many others who managed a very good one after less than a month, either with help or on their own, but were total idiots otherwise. Maybe I’m weird but, for me, avatar-making prowess is barely worth a once-over, and certainly not something I feel I have to make into a personal requirement.

In terms of just talking and getting to know someone, in a platonic environment, I couldn't care less. I don't spend much time on my av either (as her current appearance will indicate. God, this mesh.). I'm only exploring at the moment, so I don't think it matters.

But in terms of hitting on people, indeed expecting to be successful (because the women here are in an adult place, so they're up for it with anyone, amirite??), taking a little care with your appearance so that you don't look like an extra from the Lego Movie* is polite. I'm not saying everyone has to adapt their av to my personal preferences. But it is not attractive to when someone walks into an adult area, expects action, but hasn't made any effort whatsoever with their appearance for their partners' benefit.


I feel the same in RL fetish clubs. I've noticed, in my experience anyway, that there are quite a few people who turn up in old, poorly fitting clothes and looking like they haven't even showered. You're inviting/initiating sexual contact. At least pretend that you give a monkeys about what it's like for the other person.

 


*Unless that's your thing. I don't judge. 

Edited by Amina Sopwith

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1 hour ago, Skell Dagger said:

As the only male CSR in the Catwa support group, believe me it's not just my own personal experience. I get a lot (and I mean a lot, as do the other CSRs) of IMs from guys asking me for help because they don't want to speak up in group, mainly because of the pile-ons that the women who took part in thought were just funny. I used to cringe at them and comment when I could, but now - luckily - I have the professional ability to nip them in the bud.

Just before Christmas, for example:

That's just one example. I could give a lot more. And behaviour like that - if nobody steps in to squash it - often does develop into a 'jokey' pile-on. The result? Men are afraid to ask questions in chat, because they don't want to look like fools. I've actually been told as much by these guys. They want to look good, but 'jokes' like the one quoted there cause them to hang back in chat.

Want some more? How about...

Or this maybe?

I have seen this as well in a lot of groups I belong too, I have also read a LOT of profiles that basically say "If you can't be bothered to work on your avatar, then I can't be bothered to talk to you" I just shake my head and think how self absorbed they are. It's really sad, because I have talked to many guys who haven't updated their avatar and they were wonderful conversations. I think a lot of the women need to get over themselves and realize that they were once a noob and looked like crap, too

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I was personally never hit on in an adult interaction sim by a completely no-effort av who was otherwise dedicated to fulfilling my needs in a mutually satisfying sexual encounter. If it turns out there was actually a whole herd of them and I missed it, well, my loss I suppose. I won't miss what I never had, and I had a pretty good time as these things go.

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9 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:

I was personally never hit on in an adult interaction sim by a completely no-effort av who was otherwise dedicated to fulfilling my needs in a mutually satisfying sexual encounter. If it turns out there was actually a whole herd of them and I missed it, well, my loss I suppose. I won't miss what I never had, and I had a pretty good time as these things go.

Oh, thank goodness. I was afraid I have been the only one ignored by the herd all these years. I don't spend any time trying to attract a herd, of course, but I haven't even seen hoof prints. If the herd is out there, maybe it's a very small, shy one.

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2 hours ago, Skell Dagger said:

As the only male CSR in the Catwa support group, believe me it's not just my own personal experience. I get a lot (and I mean a lot, as do the other CSRs) of IMs from guys asking me for help because they don't want to speak up in group, mainly because of the pile-ons that the women who took part in thought were just funny. I used to cringe at them and comment when I could, but now - luckily - I have the professional ability to nip them in the bud.

Just before Christmas, for example:

That's just one example. I could give a lot more. And behaviour like that - if nobody steps in to squash it - often does develop into a 'jokey' pile-on. The result? Men are afraid to ask questions in chat, because they don't want to look like fools. I've actually been told as much by these guys. They want to look good, but 'jokes' like the one quoted there cause them to hang back in chat.

Want some more? How about...

Or this maybe?

I just seen a group of girls in the L'Etre group off about this

The conversation was:

[13:59] A: Hello!I accidentally bought a skin on a man's body(((((
[14:00] B: never a better time to make a male version of yourselrf
[14:00] B: *yourself
[14:00] B: lol

[14:00 C: Just dress nicely.  Don't be one of those shirtless, shoeless men.
[14:00] D: ohh boy that sucks ;-;
[14:01] A: I'm not interested.
[14:01] E: lmao
[14:01 ]F: haha i know of a few of those

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5 minutes ago, IvyLarae said:

I just seen a group of girls in the L'Etre group off about this

The conversation was:

[13:59] A: Hello!I accidentally bought a skin on a man's body(((((
[14:00] B: never a better time to make a male version of yourselrf
[14:00] B: *yourself
[14:00] B: lol

[14:00 😄 Just dress nicely.  Don't be one of those shirtless, shoeless men.
[14:00] 😧 ohh boy that sucks ;-;
[14:01] A: I'm not interested.
[14:01] E: lmao
[14:01 ]F: haha i know of a few of those

Okay, so I have been guilty of this too.  But I did say above how much I appreciate a guy that takes the time to dress well and make himself look good.  Because I do!  A lot!  I still don't like the guy that has been in SL for years and is still wearing his original and free t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers.  I can make fun of those guys without making fun of all men and still being appreciative as hell for all those well dressed men!

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On the most recent side topic, spawned by Skell ...

There are many reasons I tend to stick to Anthropomorphic avatar types for myself... You've managed to hit on one at the least. 

Fewer people being snide over clothing choices. 

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12 minutes ago, Donna Underall said:

Okay, so I have been guilty of this too.  But I did say above how much I appreciate a guy that takes the time to dress well and make himself look good.  Because I do!  A lot!  I still don't like the guy that has been in SL for years and is still wearing his original and free t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers.  I can make fun of those guys without making fun of all men and still being appreciative as hell for all those well dressed men!

Yeah. This is why I'm surprised to hear about women sneering at men who DO make an effort. In my experience, certainly in my mind, they're far more likely to be irritated when a man hasn't tried at all yet is still hoping for some action with someone who has. I also remember those "don't talk to me until you've got some prim hair, noob" profiles.

I know we all have a learning curve, but if they knew how to get to sex places and send me explicit messages, they knew how to upgrade themselves a bit from the production line. They didn't need to be in the latest and greatest creations, they just needed to give the impression that they did actually care, a tiny bit, about what I was going to get out of it. As it happened, my experience within adult sims was very much that no effort in the av (I really do mean none) meant no effort elsewhere.
 

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Sorry to interrupt ..

Back on to the subject of 'pet peeves' ..

- Doors, commonly at the entrance to a store.

The worst ones are the ones you faceplant before realising you have to click on them to open.

Next in line are those which you faceplant in order to get them to open and then stand there as it glides at such a painfully slow speed before you can proceed, then worse still if they're hinged and you end up trapped between the outside of the door and the wall.

Why can't doors detect you coming and open in time for an unhindered arrival?! 

- Landing points, using LMs provided by the actual store.

Why am I facing the wrong way?

Why is it such a long walk to the actual store?

TP'ing in .. As I wait for everything to rez - Which of several stores surrounding me is actually yours?! 

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8 minutes ago, Candice LittleBoots said:

- Doors, commonly at the entrance to a store.

OMG, I absolutely HATE most store doors.  The best ones are phantom and you can just walk or fly right through.  Pretty much any other kind are just plain horrid.  I do not need SL to mimic RL that much.

 

10 minutes ago, Candice LittleBoots said:

- Landing points, using LMs provided by the actual store.

Why am I facing the wrong way?

This one drove me nuts a few times today.  Is there something about LMs that I don't understand?   Is the orientation based on the creator's orientation when they created the LM or some hard rule that LMs result in you always facing a certain direction or what?

 

 

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51 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

the orientation based on the creator's orientation when they created the LM

uhhuh.gif.7f8096e313107fecdcca0e60ef012f9b.gif

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2 hours ago, Candice LittleBoots said:

 

- Doors, commonly at the entrance to a store.

My favorite are the ones with huge windows all over the place. You start hunting for the door and it turns out it’s a tiny opening somewhere in a corner or it’s just a space between the glass.

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