Neighbor Bully

[Roxzi Starlight]

Hi All

I am hoping you have some advice.. not sure if I can do anything.. I bought a sweet little parcel on the mainland sim Key Largo.. I LOVE the name but the next day, I got an IM from a woman who said.. "you cant buy that land"..  which surprised me.. I was like what??  but then she said never mind (she doesn't speak English so I think was using a translator) anyway.. I set up a cute little house and then.. she put up ugly giant walls on both sides of my small parcel.. obviously she wants me to leave.. I know I can derender them.. but anyone who comes to visit me will see them.  (see picture) do I have any recourse?  will SL help?  or am I doomed to this bully.   looks like she has two avis  _______ and ________.  After looking around I see that she owns most of the sim and is obviously irritated that I purchased this land possibly before she could.  Any advice from anyone?

I removed the avi names as it was brought to my attention that its against the rules to name avies.. (bullies or not)

Thanks so much for your help

Roxzi

Edited December 6, 2018 by Roxzi Ravenheart

[Lisa006 Baxton]

Don't let her win!!! But to answer your question there is nothing you can do since the prims are not directly on your land. Find some tall border rocks on the MP. Good thing she can not block your beautiful view of the ocean. 

You could also make a cute little skybox getaway for when friends visit

Also you may want to remove the avi names from this post due to community guidelines. 

[Roxzi Starlight]

Thank you Lisa

I didn't know we couldn't post the names of bullies.. I will remove them.  she also has a store.. I was thinking of posting this on flikr too.. I just don't understand why people are so mean.. I would get it if my house was ugly or something..   I just wish there was a way sl could do something to help with obvious bullies. 

[Adamburp Adamczyk]

sent you a message inworld.

[Garnet Psaltery]

She doesn't own most of the region - that's the empty no-visitors central part where the owner doesn't seem to have been around for a decade.  The bully just owns parcels either side of you with an ocean view.  Ignore her.

[Ethan Paslong]

3 hours ago, Roxzi Ravenheart said:

. I would get it if my house was ugly or something..

not saying your house is ugly... but what you like doesn't mean others like it

your neighbour might hate the palmtrees... as you she can simply derender what you don't want to see. This is one of the main issues at mainland, you can't control your neighbour, and he/she has the same rights to rezz items as you. It is however not allowed to grief, harrass or other bad things, but i'm not sure LL will take action on these walls.
If it get really bad, send a AR to support.

[Roxzi Starlight]

Thanks Ethan.. I put up the palm tree divider to try and soften her brick walls.. I did report the walls as harassment.. I seriously doubt anyone will do anything.. but thought I would try.. I just wanted a pretty little place to call home.. I have now derendered everything and it looks really sweet now.. just sad that my neighbor is not very neighborly.  

[Blush Bravin]

If I were in your shoes, and I have been though not in a long time, I would do my best to camouflage her walls. Make yourself a nice little home you can be satisfied with, but then I would also set the land for sale but charge an additional 10% of what you paid. Had the person been nice and really wanted the land I might have sold it to her for what I paid and just found something else, but in this case since she is basically extorting you to get that land she doesn't deserve your kindness. 

Whatever you do don't let her bully you into abandoning the land or selling if for less than you paid.

[Callum Meriman]

7 hours ago, Roxzi Ravenheart said:

Hi All

I am hoping you have some advice.. not sure if I can do anything.. I bought a sweet little parcel on the mainland sim Key Largo.. I LOVE the name but the next day, I got an IM from a woman who said.. "you cant buy that land"..  which surprised me.. I was like what??  but then she said never mind (she doesn't speak English so I think was using a translator) anyway.. I set up a cute little house and then.. she put up ugly giant walls on both sides of my small parcel.. obviously she wants me to leave.. I know I can derender them.. but anyone who comes to visit me will see them.  (see picture) do I have any recourse?  will SL help?  or am I doomed to this bully.   looks like she has two avis  _______ and ________.  After looking around I see that she owns most of the sim and is obviously irritated that I purchased this land possibly before she could.  Any advice from anyone?

I removed the avi names as it was brought to my attention that its against the rules to name avies.. (bullies or not)

Thanks so much for your help

Roxzi

You can abuse report the prims as harassment. From experience (ouch folr my three day ban for something similar) the Lab do sometimes act on such a report.

Be factual, include times and dates of any things she said to you. And do it soon, the lab only keep the logs for a few weeks. Make sure the photo shows the two prims she added, possibly remove your border trees to make it more obvious.

But also be aware that she will become very angry if the Lab do act. Is the drama worth it when she explodes after a ban?

It might be a time when setting the parcel to sale to her for double or triple what you paid for it is the best option.

[Roxzi Starlight]

Thanks everyone.. I really appreciate the suggestions.. I am not even in sl that much.. but wanted a nice place.. and the sim Key Largo is just a cool name.. and water on two sides.. I got it for a good price, but for all I know, she bullied the person that was there before.. and was really mad she didn't buy it before I did.. who knows.. 

I am not leaving.. and have now derendered everything.. will be awesome if the Lindens do something but I will be okay if they don't.  

Seriously, its great to know y'all are there with all the great suggestions and advice! xo

[Fionalein]

Go with it - build some WW II flak bunker to go with her walls... Some 1950s NY slums... anything that works well with her walls. As soon as you can build something usefull that uses her walls as fitting scenery she will look stupid and tear them down...

From the profile those look like modular storefronts with the ugly wall side towards you, right? just add your own store fronts to complete the block... she will hate it

 

Edited December 7, 2018 by Fionalein

[ellestones]

i like that you are going with the oh! well plan

meaning derendering the neighbour's stuff and forget that you even have a neighbour. When your friends come to visit then have them go with the oh! well plan also

[Gingir Ghoststar]

The way I see it, you have an opportunity here. She wants the land. You don't want her as a neighbor. Set the land to sell, set it to sell ONLY to her. And then mark the price way up. She wants that spot. She wants to grief you instead of coming to you like a decent human being. So, make her pay through the nose for it. 

[Ethan Paslong]

12 minutes ago, Gingir Ghoststar said:

The way I see it, you have an opportunity here. She wants the land. You don't want her as a neighbor. Set the land to sell, set it to sell ONLY to her. And then mark the price way up. She wants that spot. She wants to grief you instead of coming to you like a decent human being. So, make her pay through the nose for it. 

not sure thats the best advice, it can be taken badly and seen as escalating the issue, won't do you any good if you or the neighbour sends a report.

[Fionalein]

2 hours ago, Ethan Paslong said:

not sure thats the best advice, it can be taken badly and seen as escalating the issue, won't do you any good if you or the neighbour sends a report.

I think @Gingir Ghoststar isn't recommending her to make her bleed by harrasing her. Only financial bleed like charging something like 25 times usual land price (on top of the usuall price factors like beach of course) if she really wants it. That is no harrasment - it is Capitalism.

I would not set it to "sell only to her" though. If someone else really comes along and wants to pay the insane price: grab the Lindens and run .

 

 

Edited December 7, 2018 by Fionalein

[Claireschen Hesten]

Derendering is a good idea, if that was me in that position i'd take my beachy island scene parcel surround and make it taller than their prims so i get a nice view, keep it one way transparent so they are constantly reminded i'm not going anywhere

[Prokofy Neva]

On 12/6/2018 at 10:08 AM, Roxzi Ravenheart said:

Hi All

I am hoping you have some advice.. not sure if I can do anything.. I bought a sweet little parcel on the mainland sim Key Largo.. I LOVE the name but the next day, I got an IM from a woman who said.. "you cant buy that land"..  which surprised me.. I was like what??  but then she said never mind (she doesn't speak English so I think was using a translator) anyway.. I set up a cute little house and then.. she put up ugly giant walls on both sides of my small parcel.. obviously she wants me to leave.. I know I can derender them.. but anyone who comes to visit me will see them.  (see picture) do I have any recourse?  will SL help?  or am I doomed to this bully.   looks like she has two avis  _______ and ________.  After looking around I see that she owns most of the sim and is obviously irritated that I purchased this land possibly before she could.  Any advice from anyone?

I removed the avi names as it was brought to my attention that its against the rules to name avies.. (bullies or not)

Thanks so much for your help

Roxzi

Here's my recipe for people like this:

1. Ban them on your land so that they have to face your ban lines. Ban them anywhere you can. 

2. Encourage your neighbours to ban them -- they must be unhappy with these eyesores.

3. Do try to return them -- sometimes things do encroach. Or they may not initially, but the owner moves them. So try again periodically.

4. Abuse report them as "targeted behavior intended to offend" every now and then -- perhaps the Lindens will act. It's true that you can do WTF you want on your land, but targeted behavior can sometimes rise to the test of Linden action.

5. If they have a store or rentals, get everyone to boycott them.

I've found that many things in SL go away after 30 days. 

I've waited sometimes 7 years for them to go away, but then, that's for my flagship sim. In your case, I'd give it 30-45 days and then move. Put your land to sale at a very high price. If you can't keep waiting that out, then abandon it.

[MirandaBowers]

I would take more of a passive approach and just try to ignore it while remaining polite. It is clear she already dislikes you for her own reasons, so no need to make her HATE you. For all we know she could have all the free time in the world to retaliate and try to make you more miserable. 

[ellestones]

4 minutes ago, MirandaBowers said:

I would take more of a passive approach and just try to ignore it while remaining polite. It is clear she already dislikes you for her own reasons, so no need to make her HATE you. For all we know she could have all the free time in the world to retaliate and try to make you more miserable. 

i am with you

when people try to do this to me. I don't ever complain. I don't communicate my own views to them. I don't ban. I don't report. I don't block. I just ignore people like this. They don't exist for me while they continue to behave as they do. I have stoneface of indifference and oh! well

[Qie Niangao]

7 hours ago, MirandaBowers said:

I would take more of a passive approach and just try to ignore it while remaining polite. It is clear she already dislikes you for her own reasons, so no need to make her HATE you. For all we know she could have all the free time in the world to retaliate and try to make you more miserable. 

Right, it's much smarter to try to steer the situation in a direction that improves one's outcome rather than obsess about getting treated "fairly" -- or even less productively, getting revenge for a perceived wrong. Always be looking ahead if you want to come out ahead.

To the specifics here, it appears you currently own two adjacent 1024s, one of which seems to have been recently for sale at L$35K. That's quite a bit, to be honest, for void-adjacent "beach". I'm guessing the bully thought the previous asking price was too high. I tend to agree, but this little strip of regions has historically commanded a premium I've never understood. They're single-primmed, don't border real protected water for boating -- I just don't understand the appeal. So if it were me, with my bias, I'd try putting it up for sale at a high price, as Prokofy suggests above, and see if the bully bites. Not an offensively absurd price, just whatever you'd need to buy a better location.

In the meantime, I'd move to a skybox. Maybe the bully will buy, maybe not, but I wouldn't live surrounded by those walls. Sure, they can be de-rendered, but every visitor is gonna see them, so to me the ground level is worth literally nothing as-is. The bully may well suppose that making it worthless will motivate you to accept a much lower price but I think moving to a skybox is evidence that won't happen.

Prokofy is also correct that 30 days can be enough for many things to pass in SL, but a couple businesses seem to be tenants on one side where the land appears to have been bought back in 2012, so maybe less likely the bully will just pull up stakes and disappear altogether. Stranger things have happened, though.

[ArgontheDevil Ormega]

Just derender her walls and ignore her.  Be sure to ban her from your land and then block her.  After you have done that it is just a matter of time and waiting her out.  Once she realizes that you are going nowhere she will probably move to greener pastures.  Oh, and be a stickler about your land boundaries.  If she puts anything up that crosses them by the turning of a hair, return them.  Fly up to 4096 to make sure she has put nothing in the sky that crosses into your land and if it does return it.

Remember, you pay good tier for your land.  If she does not like it, it is her problem.

[Blush Bravin]

6 hours ago, ArgontheDevil Ormega said:

If she puts anything up that crosses them by the turning of a hair, return them.

For sure do this and you need to actually check by trying to return items. Very often something will not visually cross the line but because of it's physics or invisible geometry it will cross the line and you can return those items.

Also, do keep a record of her first contact with you in IM where she said you cannot buy that land. Those words along with her actions equate to extortion. 

[Roxzi Starlight]

Thanks again everyone.. I just de-rendered everything and will ignore her..   I will ask my friends to do the same when they come over.   I don't want to start a war or anything.. 

I truly appreciate all the suggestions!  awesome group of people here!!

xoxo

[iamyourneighbour]

You need to build a bigger wall

[Kia Kiyori]

Friend of mine - until very recently - was in a similar situation (except his neighbour is only on one side).

He was going to sell his land but then said 'why should I let the plonker win?' so instead, he slapped down a beautiful open air club, put up a sign telling club goers to 'derender the neighbors wall' and things are sweet as pie on his side of the fence. Of course, his neighbour is more furious than ever that he hasn't succeeded in bullying him out (my friend is the sweetest guy in the world too - would never be mean to anyone).

Another friend advised that LL did actually step in and intervene when she was in your situation, so perhaps they take it on a case-by-case basis, but in general, I think they do prefer to remain hands-off.