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Sevenrider

SL Boundaries?

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as a few here have stated, it sounds like you really 'do' need to talk to him about it. since he is openly trying to hide when he is online even knowing you could just look in the other room and see he was. of course you could start to hide when you are online from him when you know he is and see if he ever comes to you to speak about it. if he doesn't it means there are some serious problems with your rl relationship. he is actively hiding something from you such as an online love affair or infatuation with someone else that maybe he is taking a bit more serious than just as an sl fling/friendship.

you could always create an alt and join any of the groups you know he is in and sees who he talks to with that alt. and do you know if maybe he is using an alt and not just turned off the online notification between the two of you? which is why you don't see him online on your account? using the alt might be considered dicky move by some.

he may even be doing it to see if you will question him about it, to see if you still care about him enough to confront him about it. sounds crude but I have seen it done before by others. maybe he is doing things he knows you wouldn't approve bdsm/gor/pet play so is hiding it from you. maybe he wants you to confront him so he can try and draw you into to that. I have seen several do that before. learn about bdsm and hide it until the other catches them and then use that talk as a gateway to get the other involved in it too.

it could be any number of things, and until you sit down and talk openly about it with him you won't really know and will continue to wonder and be frustrated about it and lose trust in him continually until your rl relationship fails. you then have to decide if you believe what he says or not; if you trust him enough to accept what he tells you.

of course, as a final answer..if he doesn't lock his computer with a password or leaves it on all the time you could always go and check his logs to see what he has been doing/saying to others and then confront him with that information. might be considered a dicky move by some but rl should come first over anything done on sl and if he is being disrespectful to you, you have the right to know in case you need to end the relationship with him. and not let your heart/emotions/feelings be toyed with.

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If you're at the point of spying on your RL partner with an alt, checking their logs and so on, then you're at the point where you need to either get off SL and prioritise the real relationship, or accept that your real relationship has run its course. 
 

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Talk to him with an open mind, and bring up what you already know (so he can't deny anything that you already know exists.) I suggest telling him what you told us, and letting him know how this makes you feel.

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